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Suzy McHale’s Journal: 2025

Events of note: A year of tremendous changes and loss for my immediate family – my parents and sister. After various accidents and ambulance callouts, it became clear that my elderly parents could no longer safely live in their house of decades – and I was simply not coping with trying to look after them. They were placed into permanent residential care at Camberwell Gables (15/4 entry). The house in which we all had lived – which was old, poorly-insulated and deteriorating – would have to be sold to pay for their care, and I had no employment or other housing to move to, so my own immediate future was extremely precarious and unknown. I struggled to ”adult” without my parents at home anymore to provide a buffer against the outside world.

I transitioned fully to MacOS and sold my Windows PC on 21/1. By midyear my only devices were my iPhone and MacBook Air. I also reluctantly canceled my NBN subscription (31/5 entry) as I could no longer afford both that ($72/month) and a mobile phone subscription ($52/month). This also meant losing my parents’ landline number of decades.

On 1/10 a devastating family event happened: Dad had a massive brain bleed – intracranial hemorrhage within his brain – which resulted in his never regaining consciousness. He had no chance of recovery, and passed away on 4/10 with me by his side.

January

Wednesday 1/1: PC listed for sale

The New Year, though as to whether it will be “Happy” looks doubtful at the moment, given the awful ordeal of last month (general decline of elderly parents‘ physical health and cognitive decline over the last few years; Dad’s seizure on 5/12/2024, his being barred from driving for several months and the difficulty of doing daily tasks that not being able to drive entails).

Turned on my desktop PC (2/6/2024 entry) for the first time in a month and reset it – frustratingly, I could not bypass the requirement to create an online Microsoft account as the previous circumvention methods have now been blocked by Microsoft, so I left it at the create an account setup screen. (And this reinforces how much I have come to detest Windows generally.) I posted an ad on Gumtree for it (expires 31/1/2025). I am not optimistic about being able to sell it, though.

Thursday 2/1: Jason returns to Windows; iJustine sold out or burned out?

Am feeling utterly dull and depressed. Another day of awfulness when interacting with parents. Nothing to look forward to; no joy in anything.

Walked to Bentleigh and back; my backpack becomes quite heavy after only a few small grocery items. Around 20 minutes to walk both ways (and an hour or so wandering around the rather dismal selection of shops – too many food and service industry shops), but I am still exhausted afterwards.

One of the online people whose sites I visit, Jason McFadden, is switching back to a Windows laptop: “The two drivers of this change are PC gaming and value. Like an Android phone versus an iPhone, you can typically get more computer for less money.” But Windows laptops are generally poor quality compared to MacBooks. I noted in my 3/9/2024 entry that I am one of the seemingly very few people who has never been interested in gaming, so that particular issue when choosing an operating system is of no concern to me.

“iJustine” (Justine Ezarik) is one of my favorite Internet personalities; I bought and read her autobiography last year (22/10/2024 entry). However, she is no longer entirely Apple-focused, but does a lot of tech-related product reviews and promotions, and she at times seems to not have her old enthusiasm. Some users’ relevant comments: “This channel has turned into a paid sponsorship hub where Justine says nice things about every product she agrees to ‘review’ and does really pointless stuff like this to, I suppose, buy more useless tech.” (@RubmaLione) “It seems every iJustine and Jenna video is another ad. I’ve loved both your channels for years but I’m very close to unfollowing. Greed corrupts absolutely everyone …” (@ONEWAYLEEWAY) “I think it’s time for a chat, Justine lol. What’s up with the content lately? It just hasn’t felt … right. If you have some real life stuff behind the scenes and/or if you gotta check off some boxes to pay some bills, it’s alright, but talk to the people because we can feel the off vibes. Were all human, we understand 😆. (I know at the end of the day, it’s not that deep, but I’m just sayin) (@SkywardKing)

I came across this recent interview with her, “What You Don’t Know About iJustine,” The List, 21/8/2023.

Friday 3/1: Sister coming; tired; desktop PC listed on FB Marketplace

My sister and her husband are coming here from Wagga Wagga this Saturday rather unexpectantly, which is something to look forward to! Just interacting with normally-functioning people is now a (only too brief) relief.

Two hot (high 30s) days forecast for this weekend.

I am exhausted to the point of collapse just from doing some chores (changed my bedsheets and those of my parents’ bed); walked to East Bentleigh and back with another small but heavy backpack load of a few groceries. Managed to lie down for a while, but can never truly rest and relax with parents around.

I listed my desktop PC on Facebook Marketplace also (1/1 entry); but, as I said, there is so much else for sale I am not optimistic about my chances.

Saturday 4/1: Sister visit; a long Reddit post; MacBook main computer now

My sister and her husband are here! For an all-too-short visit. Two days of extreme heat, very difficult for my elderly parents and I in our poorly-insulated, old, deteriorating weatherboard house.

We drove (well, my sister and her husband drove my parents and I) to Southland SC this morning. Nice to sit at our usual cafe and have a coffee (long black for me, no sugar). Was getting exhausted and stressed when we departed for home, though.

Came across this lengthy post at r/MovingToJapan, “32M Planning On Moving To Japan To Work In IT And Rebuild Life - Backstory, Rationale, and General Plan (Serious, very long, and looking for hard criticism – do your worst!)” He (u/PlatinumRooster) certainly got criticised, mainly for the length of his post and his (not uncommon) unrealistic expectations. I think he should stay where he is; he has a reasonably decent and stable job in a desirable U.S. state and a lot of people would envy him (myself included!).

Still am using my MacBook Air M3 as my main computer now; have not wanted to switch on my Windows desktop PC at all (aside from resetting it on Wednesday 1/1 entry). I just feel I want to do minimalist computing now; I have quit doing much of what I used to do with a desktop (digital art, general tinkering and so on).

Sunday 5/1: Sleepless night; sister departed

Got no sleep at all overnight due to the temperature being in the low 20s, and parents wandering around restlessly. Am in a foul mood now. Temperature again spiking up to the high 30s until a cool change drifts through early tomorrow morning.

My sister and her husband had to depart for their home in Wagga Wagga today (5-hour or so drive), alas. Trying to organize my parents’ affairs, MyAgedCare for them and so on. Exhausting and complicated. (Previous visit: 13/12/2024 entry, just before Dad’s second hospital stay.)

Monday 6/1: Sleepless again; rain; shopping

Another warm, sleepless night, though I managed to get a little sleep earlier in the evening (before my proper bedtime around 9:30 p.m.) Some light rain overnight and into today. My sister and her husband made it home safely to Wagga Wagga (5/1 entry).

I walked to East Bentleigh and back to get some produce at the local IGA supermarket (their produce seems to be nicer). A heavy backpack load, even with only a few items. Making things more difficult was the heavy rain that had developed. Again, this is where having car access is so much better.

As with the last two weeks (23/12, 30/12 entries), a care worker (another young woman this time) came to take me shopping for heavy items (such as long-life milk cartons for my parents). Next week will be the last week of this service.

“Choosing a MacBook Pro,” Lee Peterson. One of the bloggers I follow has bought a MacBook Pro (after 3 years of using a basic-spec MacBook Air). In Australia the one he chose would cost $4,000! (Doesn’t say if he chose the 14- or 16-inch screen size; I’ll assume the former.) Way beyond affordability for me, and my MacBook Air is adequate for my modest use case.

Tuesday 7/1: System collapse soon

Feeling down in mood again. The only time of some peace I get is early in the morning before my parents awaken. I often feel better then (if I don’t have a headache), but that quickly fades once my parents are up, and the extreme stress and unpleasantness of interacting with them resumes.

I feel that I am, physically and mentally, spiralling down towards a complete system collapse. I am doing less and less; expending the minimal amount of effort on various tasks. Cleaning every two or three days; getting up a little later; not doing any formal exercise and so on.

Took the bus and then train to Southland SC this morning.

Tomorrow is an appointment with a doctor, to which I will be driven; I am not looking forward to this.

No contacts for my desktop PC listings so far (3/1 entry), aside from two dubious enquirers from probable scammers on Facebook (Tommy Torres and Rabi Rai, both blocked).

Wednesday 8/1: Doctor visit

After that unpleasant heavy rain interlude on Monday (6/1 entry), the weather is warming up again, though not as extremely hot as last weekend.

As I remarked yesterday (7/1 entry), I feel that I am gradually shutting down, mentally and physically. I am expending the minimum amount of energy that I can now. I am not cleaning as frequently, I have minimized my diet (20/12/2024 entry). I have stopped formal exercising (aside from having to walk to the shops some days). I do not want help to “recover” (22/12/2024 entry). I just want out of all of this; I want to sleep, to relax, without having to clean up after other people or live with or interact with them. To be left alone, with no demands being made of me.

I saw the new GP today; at a clinic further away in Hampton, so a lady from Better Health Network, Sue, drove me there and back (she previously visited on 19/12/2024). The female doctor was very nice and easy to talk to; I had two vials of blood samples taken and an ECG done. My height is 158 cm; my weight is 39.8 kg. A follow-up visit is scheduled on 22/1.

Spent the afternoon doing some re-organizing of my workspace: put my desktop PC into semi-storage on the floor, its peripherals moved to Dad’s (very cluttered) shed and my MacBook Air is now my main computer (along with my iPad Generation 10 and iPhone 15). Much lighter and easier to use, but serious decluttering is still needed. I did tear or strain that troublesome muscle over my left ribcage again (previous mention: 16/9/2022).

Thursday 9/1: Weary

Walked to East Bentleigh and back this morning. Another heavy backpack load of just a few groceries. Am exhausted now. At least the weather is fine, in contrast to Monday (6/1 entry).

Spent most of this afternoon lying down, but can’t relax with parents around. Feel like I have completely crashed.

Friday 10/1: Weary again; MS Teams practice run; a longing for forests

Warm weather continues. I took the bus and train to Southland SC this morning. Came back with a heavy backpack of just a few grocery items. Did vacuuming while parents took a taxi to the Bentleigh RSL for lunch. Am exhausted once again.

Tried to set up a Microsoft Teams practice meeting with the Better Health Network representative, Sue (8/1 entry) via the browser website. Could not get my MacBook Air camera and microphone to work. Eventually discovered that I had denied all camera and microphone requests from websites in Safari → Settings → Websites, so I enabled these and was able to see and hear Sue over the connection on a second try.

A wish: I want to walk through the ancient forests of the Northern Hemisphere, by myself. I want to see the bluebell woods and ancient woodlands of England (the land of my ancestors), the birch, larch and conifer forests of Europe, the giant redwoods of California. Just imagining doing this is soothing. (Previously: 15/3/2024, 7/7/2024, 22/7/2024, 13/10/2024.)

Saturday 11/1: Taxi travel

Hot today. Took a taxi to Southland SC with my parents; $25 there and $18 back! Dad has a taxi discount/concession voucher application; hopefully it will be mailed to him soon. Parents are now too frail to use public transport, so a taxi is their only option if they wish to travel anywhere. Both also get very muddled and confused now, so they cannot travel by themselves safely.

Sunday 12/1: More stormy weather; troublesome ribs; marvellous Midnight

Another bout of tropical unsettled weather to afflict the eastern states from today (previously: 28/11/2024 entry). I hate this weather, especially rain.

The muscle over my left ribs is still very sore (8/1 entry). Don’t know what I did to it, but I re-injure it occasionally and it seems to be a weak spot there. It’s been troublesome for years.

r/MacBookAir post: “Do not get this colour,” referring to the tiresomely overhyped fingerprints issue of the Midnight blue color, which I deliberately chose for my MacBook. I still love it, and fingerprints are not much of a problem for me; I don’t handle it that much as it is mostly on my desk.

Monday 13/1: Stormy; sleepless; spicy pillow №3; computer cognitive decline; from MacBook to Windows laptop

Heavy rain and a thunderstorm passed over yesterday around 12 p.m.. We were fortunately spared the power outage, but are in for another bout of that tropical unsettled weather.

Another sleepless night; could not turn off the thoughts in my brain. Took the bus to Chadstone SC this morning. Bought another “spicy pillow” (31/12/2024 entry) in blue this time, so three of them now!

One of the online people whose website I visit daily is Greg Lehey (previously: 2/7/2024 entry). A paragraph from his 2024 New Year’s letter echoes Dad’s decreasing interest in, and aptitude using computers due to cognitive decline, though not as severe as Dad:

Apart from that, he has accepted the fact that he is getting older. After finishing a stint on the FreeBSD Core Team in June, he is doing less and less work on computers. It has taken him nearly the whole year to update his computer system, complicated by the fact that he wants to do it his way despite the industry going in a different direction.

Jason McFadden (2/1 entry) has moved back to Windows, and acquired a gaming laptop. Still a downgrade compared to using a MacBook, though.

Tuesday 14/1: Tired and sore

Walked to East Bentleigh and back for a few grocery items. Did a practise MS Teams session linkup again with Sue in preparation for the NDIS application meeting for tomorrow (10/1 entry), which I am not looking forward to. The linkup went well, at least.

Been exhausted all day. Left side over my ribcage is still very sore, making lying down and turning over painful.

Wednesday 15/1: NDIS application online meeting

The online Microsoft Teams meeting this morning with Lloyd, the Local Area Coordinator for my NDIS application went well (Sue, the community nurse helping me, also attended virtually). Lasted just over an hour; I was asked a whole lot of questions regarding my mental, physical and living conditions. The criteria for accessing the NDIS is strict, and I will have to wait 3-4 months for approval – or not.

Dad received his taxi discount card in the mail yesterday, so that makes taxi travel for him more affordable.

Thursday 16/1: Still can’t identify forgotten novel; old iMac mouse still works!

Tried ChatGPT with a query about an old obscure novel I have yet to identify (31/3/2021 entry), but no luck:

I am looking for a book: A young adult novel I read around 1988; I think the title had the word “Snow” in it. The cover had a painting of the young girl character looking out of her family’s car window through a snowstorm. A family (American?) – mother, father, and their young daughter and younger son – go on a driving tour around Europe in winter. This is during the Cold War, when Germany was separated. At one point they are near a border crossing into East Germany. The boy gets out of the car and runs towards the crossing; the East German guards there come close to shooting him – a very tense scene. Most of the novel is set during the family’s drive, told from the girl’s point of view; she is nearly a teenager and a bit angsty.

ChatGPT said: It sounds like the book you’re describing could be Snow in the Summer by Elizabeth Koda-Callan. This novel was published in 1988, and it fits many of the details you mentioned:

You said: I did a web search for that book by that author, but nothing of that title by her shows up. The description is otherwise correct.

ChatGPT said: Thank you for checking that! Based on your description, it seems I may have gotten the title wrong.

Your recollection of the plot and details about the family’s winter road trip across Europe, the tense scene at the border, and the girl’s perspective lead me to believe the book you’re thinking of might actually be The Snow Goose by Paul Gallico, though this doesn’t seem to perfectly match the setting and plot you mentioned.

However, given that the title you are recalling likely includes the word snow and features Cold War-era tension near East Germany, I suspect we may be looking at a lesser-known or obscure title, which can sometimes make it hard to find through a simple web search.

Does the snow in the title help jog your memory further, or do you recall any other specific details (character names, setting clues, etc.) that might help refine the search?

You said: Unfortunately not – my first query contains all I can recollect from the book. It was set on the 1988 or 1989 Australian curriculum for English as one of the novels to be studied.

ChatGPT said: Thank you for the added detail about the book being part of the Australian curriculum in the late 1980s — that’s a helpful clue! Based on that, the book you’re referring to is The Snowy Road by Diane Armstrong.

It’s a lesser-known but highly regarded young adult novel that was part of the curriculum during that period. Here’s how it matches your description:

Does The Snowy Road sound like the one? Let me know if this rings a bell or if there’s anything else I can help with!

Found a Hockey puck mouse in the clutter in Dad’s garage that had belonged to his now-discarded strawberry iMac (matching pink keyboard is still there, also – 1/11/2024 entry). Tried plugging the USB-A cord into the USB-A-to-USB-C adapter of my MacBook Air, and, amazingly, the mouse still functions! The lovely translucent plastic has deteriorated, though, sadly. I seem to be one of the few who likes the old mouse and the current Magic Mouse (29/10/2024 entry).

Friday 17/1: Minimal effort

Another stressful night and morning of altercations with parents. Incontinence cleanups. Utterly exhausted now. I am not coping with this.

My next GP appointment with Dr. Alison Zhang is for next Wednesday, for a follow-up from last week’s (8/1 entry). The results for my blood test and ECG will probably be dire, but that is not unexpected. I have extensive muscle wastage now as my physical weakness indicates (hence my linking the exercise article above) – I am now expending as little effort as possible on daily activities as I have not the strength anymore. I am essentially committing a passive and slow suicide; I just don’t care anymore. I am under extreme stress due to living with and trying to manage my elderly and ailing parents, and my condition is a form of passive protest against my intolerable and untenable situation.

“Why your body evolved to penalise you for not exercising – even if you hate it,” The Age, 14/1. Most animals – and traditional hunter-gatherers – don’t set out to deliberately exercise in the way that many people in developed societies do; the former would regard the latter with bemusement (why expend energy unnecessarily?). “In the wild we don’t often see animals doing arbitrary exercise; even our closest living relatives in the animal kingdom, chimpanzees, walk only a few kilometres a day.”

Saturday 18/1: Headache; lost iPhone saga; still visiting SwankiVY

Headache overnight and into this morning; a mild migraine, I think. I walked to Bentleigh and back, so am very tired.

When parents arrived home from Southland, Dad realized he had left his iPhone SE2 somewhere – maybe in the taxi they took there, or back. I rang the taxi company, who eventually were able to find that the phone had been handed in to the concierge there. (I put his iPhone into Lost Mode in the meantime). Ended up taking another taxi to Southland (I accompanied Dad), asked at the concierge on the east side of the shopping centre, was informed that the phone was at the concierge on the other (west) side of Southland SC, so I had to walk over there. Fortunately the iPhone was there and we took another taxi home (thankfully Dad has his taxi concession card). Now I have to figure out how to unlock it (I used Dad’s iPad 8 to lock the iPhone remotely). Exhausted! And yet another demonstration of how helpless my parents are with issues like this without me to help.

“SwankiVY” (Julie Sondra Decker) is one of the online people whom I have been following for a few years (previously: 30/12/2023, 18/10/2024 entries). As noted in my 6/2/2022 entry, I am fascinated by American lives; just ordinary people like me living their lives (I guess in fiction that would be the “slice-of-life” genre). More normal lives than I have, for sure (careers, friends, families for some), and I can live vicariously through these accounts. American culture has been ubiquitous in Australian media forever and thus is somewhat familiar to me, but being able to actually visit the country would still incite some culture shock! The USA and UK are the two countries I would most like to visit (my ancestry is in the UK, and I still have relatives there). Anyway, I enjoy reading Swankivy’s life story; she is 8 years younger than I, so not too much of an age gap, and many aspects of her life are culturally familiar from the era I grew up in. Her early years have a feeling of nostalgia, evoking my own childhood.

Sunday 19/1: Not missing Windows

Hot today; mid-30s. Walked to East Bentleigh and back to visit the IGA supermarket there. Only about 20 minutes or so each way.

r/Mac post: “Macbook air users, have you ever come to regret choosing mac over windows?” I have no interest in gaming, so that issue (which seems to be a major discouragement for many now, given the prevalence of gaming culture) is not a disadvantage for me. I am getting used to the “Apple way” of using the operating system; there has been some irritations but I am not missing Windows that much at all.

Monday 20/1: Healed

Took the bus to Chadstone SC and back this morning. Warm; low 30s.

The torn muscle, or whatever it was, over my left ribs seems to have mostly healed up from around three days ago (12/1 entry). It is a chronic weak spot that is vulnerable to injury.

Tuesday 21/1: Sleepless; shopping cart bought; desktop PC sold

Another sleepless night like the previous night, due to the warmth (low 20s). Oddly I seem to get “recharged” with a little energy in the very early morning (if I don’t have a headache), but fatigue sets in from late morning onwards. I spend this time on the Internet via my iPad! I do find all 3 Apple devices (iPhone, iPad, MacBook) have their uses for various occasions: iPad as described (casual reclining Web browsing, reading, taking notes); iPhone for its portability and a variety of uses (phone calls, using apps such as banking, web surfing, taking notes, reading) and MacBook for more detailed and intensive work that is easier performed sitting at a desk or table with a full-size keyboard and mouse or trackpad.

As an experiment, I took the route-701 bus to Bentleigh SC. Only a few minutes’ journey but saves me a hot and tiring walk on a hot day like today. I bought a Sachi sprint shopping trolley from a local store – $50 there, but the cheaper models in the discount variety stores (under $20) did not seem very good quality. It is a pull-along model that can be stood upright when not in use; I see a lot of people using such carriers. The only colors in the two stocked were plain black or a floral pattern; I chose the plain black. Put it to use for groceries I then bought; can pull along a lot more! I took the same bus back home. So I can now bring the shopping cart along with me and carry much more without straining myself.

My desktop PC is sold! The buyer came in person today and collected it. Admittedly the selling price was not much more than the CeX offer (7/12/2024 entry), but by this stage I just wanted to be divested of it, and “first come, first served.” Another prospective buyer expressed interest in the meantime, but they did not get back to me, so I just took the first buyer’s offer today (around 1⁄6 of what was originally paid for it, but that type of business/productivity PC is not popular, unlike gaming-orientated PCs and laptops). No more big bulky desktop towers for me. Another item “purged,” which brings a feeling of relief. (Now to consider how to dispose of the old desktop towers Dad has accumulated – 4/11/2024 entry.)

Wednesday 22/1: Second doctor visit; unwanted AI

Second appointment with Dr. Zhang this morning (previously: 8/1 entry). Sue the Community Health Nurse drove me there and back. The doctor said I was very low in Vitamin D (nothing registering in the blood test), had a low white blood cell count and enlarged red blood cells, but most other things were not too bad. Unfortunately I have to take vitamins (a multivitamin, and Vitamin D) and was prescribed a melatonin supplement (Agomelatine-WGR, not on the PBS) which all totalled nearly $100 at the chemist! Those costs will not be sustainable for me. I will see if the vitamins make any difference. I next see her on Wednesday 19/2 at 9:30 a.m. with Sue. I also have a Centrelink Jobseeker Payment phone interview for Tuesday 28/1 from 12 p.m.; I applied for the Jobseeker Allowance Payment (with medical exemption) online – a rather long process! Don’t know if it will be accepted. So I am quite exhausted again (and dealing with cantankerous parents does not help).

I have no current interest in using Apple Intelligence, but it has been downloaded to my MacBook Air nonetheless, much to my annoyance. As I griped in my Macrumors forum comment, “It’s taking up 4.84 GB space on my disk, and I have AI disabled! I am frugal with disk space and this is the main irritation for me – I have no use case for AI currently, and it being there is just wasted storage.”

Thursday 23/1: Sleepless yet again; new stick vacuum

Took the bus to Chadstone SC and back this morning, again.

Another sleepless night of waking around 1 a.m. and not sleeping since then.

Dad bought a Dyson V8 stick vacuum yesterday (it was reduced in price) for my use. It is great to use; much better than dragging out and around our heavy cumbersome old vacuum cleaner. Makes one hateful chore a little easier. The difference in quality to cheaper no-name brands is noticeable.

Friday 24/1: Decluttering; sister to come; tech bros hysteria

Some generally moderate weather the next few days, but with a sudden forecast spike to nearly 40°C on Monday, then cooler the next day again.

Took the bus to Bentleigh this morning; offloaded some donations at a charity shop and brought a heavy load of groceries home, all carried in my shopping cart (21/1 entry). I am in a decluttering/purging mood yet again.

My sister and her husband are driving down to Melbourne for the weekend to visit us (previously: 3/1), so an occasion to anticpate, at least. Like most of their visits, though, they will not stay for long, unfortunately.

“Business leaders have thrown money at presidents before, but not like this,” ABC News, 24/1. I am not worried about the “tech oligarchy” having such influence in the newly-elected US Government administration – they are preferable to the technologically-illiterate politicians who have stifled such companies with over-regulation. “If Trump’s regulatory touch is as light as Zuckerberg is hoping, it will put the US at odds with both Australia and the EU, whose governments are moving in the opposite direction contemplating, and in the EU’s case enacting, tougher tech regulations than ever before.” The collective hysteria over this influence from some sections of the Internet is very tiresome.

Saturday 25/1: Sister here

My sister and her husband visited this morning. We drove to Southland SC and had a coffee (something I have not done since they last came – 3/1 entry). Felt unsettled and agitated; another sleepless night since 1 a.m. or so (not helped with Mum getting up and wandering due to dementia-related “sundowning”). Their visit is focused on trying to arrange things for my parents (an ongoing ordeal), so little time for any enjoyment.

Sunday 26/1: An irrelevant holiday

Yet another mostly sleepless night. Had a mild headache.

Sister and her husband visiting again today. Unfortunately they have to return to their home in Wagga Wagga tomorrow – I always feel a bit abandoned, left alone with my ailing and barely-coherent and barely-functioning elderly parents.

Australia Day public holiday (and an annoying extra “substitute holiday” tomorrow as the actual event falls on a weekend). Irrelevant to me as always; I am not interested in patriotic displaysø and find it all rather cringeworthy.

Monday 27/1: Sister departed

A very hot day forecast; close to, or reaching, 40°C. Stormy and unsettled; heavy rain alternating with hot sunshine, like tropical weather, in the morning; but the afternoon became very hot.

My sister and her husband visited us this morning before departing on the 5-hour drive up to their current home in Wagga Wagga. Wish they could stay longer. They made it back home safely around 4:30 p.m.. My mood was marred by altercations with parents earlier.

Tuesday 28/1: Centrelink phone call

Cooler today. Another heatwave of a few days looms ominously in the long-range forecast for next week, though.

Got a scheduled phonecall from Centrelink regarding my Jobseeker Payment (with medical exemption) application (22/1 entry); they need some ID documents, so I will have to go in person to present these. The Cheltenham Service Centre is the nearest to me (alight at Cheltenham Station on the Frankston line and walk there), so it is not too difficult for me to access. That will be tomorrow morning’s task.

Wednesday 29/1: Bothersome bureaucracy

A tiring and exasperating day. I found my way via bus and train to the Cheltenham Service Centre where Centrelink is located (28/1 entry). But my identity documents that I presented to Centrelink was only partially successful: my driver’s licence was accepted but the copy of my birth certificate was not as it is a “second schedule,” and the original document is required, which I apparently do not have (I also have an “Extract of Birth Entry” – found after excavating through ancient documents belonging to my parents kept in a grey metal box – but am not sure if that would be accepted either). So I have to apply for that at the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages Victoria, but that is proving an ordeal in itself as they require identity documents! I do not have a current passport as I have not traveled overseas since 1987 (a brief school year trip to New Zealand) and certainly can’t afford to travel. I do have three of the alternatives (licence, Medicare card, Health Care Card) but copies of these have to be certified by an authorized certifier.

I walked up to the local chemist at the Patterson Road shops and Natalie was able to copy and sign the three ID documents. I scanned all on one page, which will hopefully be acceptable (though knowing how pedantic bureacracy can be, perhaps not!). I also had to pay $55.80 just to acquire the birth certificate, which I am not happy about!

Thursday 30/1: Hard rubbish collection booked; a foolish impulse

I booked a hard rubbish collection for next Tuesday (one of 3 free such collections provided by the local council each year).

Was reading this blog entry by Derek Sivers (one of those so-called self-help guru types), “Why I let go of my U.S. citizenship.” “For years I thought about this story and the idea of letting go of my U.S. citizenship as a way of burning my ships and preventing my retreat. Eventually I followed my life’s motto of ‘whatever scares you, go do it,’ then showed up to the U.S. embassy in Singapore, filled out the forms, and became an ex-citizen.” And despite his reasoning, I still feel he is incredibly foolish – American citizenship is very difficult to obtain, and many people in other countries would (and do) sacrifice a lot to gain it. Being a U.S. citizen is a great privilege that should not be given up lightly, and the reason he states seems utterly spurious: “I really was just forcing myself forward into the world. And it’s worked. New Zealand, Singapore, England, and India are my legal and emotional homes now. Hopefully more to come. […] Since I left in 2010, I’ve only visited America for a few days. I don’t have the right to enter. There’s always a chance I might never see my family again.” If I had the opportunity to become a U.S. citizen myself, I would jump at it! (Australia does allow dual citizenship: “The United States and Australia both allow dual citizenship, so you can hold citizenship in both countries at the same time.”)

Friday 31/1: Home Care Package sign-up

Another tiring day involving my parents. Dorothy (Home Care Packages Access and Intake Team Leader) from Bayside City Council visited to sign up Mum for her Aged Care Package (done), but there again was a lot of information to process and we were all physically and mentally exhausted by the end. My sister is, again, dealing with most of this, but it is a burden on her. I really am struggling with this and can only sit through so much before I shut down. My parents really belong in permanent residental care; the “aging in place” strategy is not going to be adequate for them.

February

Saturday 1/2: Tears of frustration

A February heatwave from today until Wednesday; temperatures into the mid-30s.

I still have some forms to fill out and documents to acquire for the Multi-Purpose Taxi Program (a non-lodgement advice from the Australian Tax Office) and a carer’s allowance payment application to complete at Centrelink; very tiring for me. So much wearisome bureacracy to endure just to try to get some help.

So I tried to go to the ATO website to find the non-lodgement advice document. I have to sign in to MyGov/Services Australia so I can link the ATO website to my account. But I was stymied even trying to do that. I first needed to create a digital ID – myID – to link the ATO website. I duly did so, but when trying to enter my Driver’s License details so as to increase identity strength from the basic level, the form would not accept these: “The details you entered do not match the record.” Online advice is to “phone our support line on 1300 287 539 (select option 2, then option 1 for myID enquiries), 8 am-6pm Mon-Fri.”

I can’t link the ATO website to MyGov via the alternative method provided, as I have not paid tax in decades due to long-term unemployment and perhaps because my superannuation and bank account details have changed in the meantime:

Details provided do not match ATO records – 2 attempts remaining.

So I have to ring up to prove ID: “Provide your linking code Field marked with an * is mandatory. A linking code can be obtained by calling us on 13 28 61 and answering some questions to prove who you are.”

After this runaround I was literally crying with frustration, and gave up for today (and government departments do not work on weekends, unlike the rest of the population). Proving that I am the person I am claming to be seems a near-impossible chore now.

I also tried to apply for the Carer Allowance, but gave up at the end of the online application as a lot of documents concerning Mum needed to be uploaded (text quoted below) and I do not have them. Another waste of a half-hour or so. I will just abandon the attempt altogether.

Sunday 2/2: Hot; lucky to be in the USA; Mac sparks joy

The forecast heatwave has started; to persist until Wednesday. Very difficult to sleep or function in the meantime.

Posted in r/TrueUnpopularOpinion: “Being an American Is AMAZING.” I agree! Despite all the current hysterical political nonsense and scaremongering, the USA still seems to be one of the best countries to live in (if all the people wanting to immigrate there are any indication!). (Previously: 30/1 entry.)

I’m sorry, this opinion is going to get a vast amount of hate, but I don’t give a shit. Being an American, to me, is absolutely amazing. While our Healthcare systems and economic infrastructure could use some work, I don’t have to worry about my neighborhood getting shelled by 100lb artillery shells or worrying if the breadline will get done giving out rations before I get there. Things can always be worse, but they’re not.

I love this country, and I think if people don’t like it, they should simply leave and not come back. Enjoy Latin America, where crime and corruption are plenty. Enjoy Europe, with self-sabotaging policies and lack of integrated internal security, not to mention the abhorrent lack of free speech. Enjoy Russia, with its gridlocked economy, sinking population and war-fueled policies.

Being an American is truly amazing. Love it, or simply leave it.

A short post from Numeric Citizen Blog: “I think that every single day that I’m working on a Mac I tell myself: ‘What a joy is this working with this’.”

Monday 3/2: A dark and stormy night

A violent thunderstorm cell approached Melbourne last night from around 11 p.m. and parked itself over the region until 2 a.m., with copious amounts of rain and lightning. A very tropical weather phenonenon (which seems to have been a frequent pattern over the last year – 7/1/2024 entry), with more to follow over the next couple of days. I got little sleep, and feel a bit headachey as a consequence.

Tuesday 4/2: Still hot; hard rubbish collected; banana supply threat

Mum is 87 today.

Still hot; mid-20s overnight. Humid, tropical weather. Cool change due late afternoon today (hopefully).

The hard rubbish we put out for collection (30/1 entry) was taken this morning – good riddance to it! Included were my old white mountain bicycle, three old and outdated desktop tower computers (two of which were scavenged during the night, so one remained – hard disk drives removed previously), two monitors, one printer, an old microwave and some wooden chairs. Two more free such collections remaining for this year. I want to get rid of the rest of Dad’s now-unused computers and peripherals: one old desktop tower, two all-in-one printers, two monitors, and innumerable cables, removed DVD drives and who-knows-what-else that is buried in the third bedroom and his shed.

Oh damn, looks like one of my favorite fruits 🍌 will be impacted by the current monsoonal floods in Queensland: “North Queensland farmers assess flood damage as ‘wall of water’ smashes banana crops.”

Wednesday 5/2: Cooler at last; more document ID frustrations; a difficult visit; Apple report card; Apple in China

Much cooler today; a windy change blew through late yesterday afternoon.

I managed to ring up the Australian Taxation Office and be given a linking ID so as to link my ATO account to my myGov account (1/2 entry). I have also uploaded the final document for the Carer Allowance, using one Sue the Community Nurse emailed me (not sure if it is correct, but to hell with all of this; just try and see). Two tasks done – but I am still stalled with increasing my identity strength for my myID digital ID account as I have different variations of my name on different documents (first name – initial of middle name – surname, or first name – full second name – surname), and the persnickety app will not accept this (name must match exactly on all documents). If I update my driver’s licence to change my name, I have to make a journey in person to present the document at the nearest VicRoads Customer Service Centre, none of which are near me, and the process is another ordeal in itself. So I am stymied and frustrated yet again.

Sue also came to visit my parents today to give Mum a cognitive test, but Dad got very antagonistic towards her; he is in denial about his mental and physical deterioration, and feels that control and personal autonomy are being taken away from him (he has always been the one in charge). Both parents, Dad in particular, are very difficult to interact with now, and I am mentally and physically drained from trying to manage them every day, 24/7. (Sue did mention to my parents that I was “burnt out,” which reinforces my own feelings.)

Some Apple links. “Apple in 2024: The complete commentary,” Six Colors. A lengthy article featuring “a collection of writers, editors, developers, podcasters, and other people for their opinions about how Apple fared in the year just gone by.” Quite interesting; sometimes dismaying. This comment under the “Last Words” heading I found poignant:

Kirk McElhearn: I think that 2024 was the year that I finally realized that the Apple of Steve Jobs is truly gone. The Tim Cook bot in interviews and presentations feels like an AI programmed by the marketing department; I get no impression that he really cares about products. At least the pre-recorded product announcements include many more Apple employees, but they all tend to have that same tone. I miss Steve Jobs and Phil Schiller talking about new products with perceivable love for the technology and what it could accomplish. I think Apple is so big right now that they can’t take chances. We grew up with a company that was constantly pushing the envelope, but now, at a time where there aren’t many new hardware features to add to these devices, we have discovered a company that pretends that things are “magical” too often. And you didn’t ask about Apple Intelligence. A half-baked bunch of mainly useless features in an attempt to catch up to a trend that Apple didn’t see coming. None of Apple’s AI features are original, and some, like Image Playground, are just childish. Apple is increasingly out of touch with what people really want to do, it seems, and I don’t see this changing until Tim Cook retires.

Via Daring Fireball, a new book about Apple’s Faustian bargain with China is due in May. Archived links to the articles mentioned: “How Apple tied its fortunes to China”; “What it would take for Apple to disentangle itself from China.”

Thursday 6/2: Birth certificate arrived

My birth certificate arrived in the mail today! I scanned and photographed it with my iPhone, then uploaded the images to the Centrelink website. Hopefully these will be acceptable. I also saw that the nearest VicRoads Customer Service Centre (5/2 entry) is in Heatherton, in the factory park area off Warrigal Road, only around 15 minutes’ drive away (south down Tucker Road, turn left into South Road, straight down there to Warrigal Road, turn right, go to Arcon Lane, then at 77 Corporate Drive). Of course, that assumes one has access to a car! Getting there otherwise will be more difficult and time-consuming.

Friday 7/2: MacBook paint wear

Took the bus and train to Southland SC this morning, and bus back home. Feel rather tired.

Lee Peterson (6/1 entry) notes with dismay that “The space black coating is already coming off my new M4 MacBook Pro.” That seems to be an unfortunate trait of the darker colors (including the Midnight MacBook Air) – the coloring is anodized aluminium. (MacRumors forum post: “How easily does the space black/space gray paint come off?”)

Saturday 8/2: Quiet day

A gloomy overcast day. Went to Southland again this morning, by taxi with parents; took the bus back home by myself. Been doing a little tidying up of Dad’s overwhelming clutter (29/10/2024 entry) in the third bedroom and his shed, mainly hunting-and-gathering e-waste items (printers, old hard disk drives, DVD internal drives, etc.) in hopes of booking another hard rubbish collection (4/2 entry). I want to get rid of the last PC tower (old and can’t be upgraded) and two old monitors also. I find decluttering very satisfying and wish I could do it properly (without parents around, and with a skip to put junk into).

Sunday 9/2: Annoying wind

An annoying gale-force south-easterly wind began blowing from last night into this afternoon. Such winds make me restless and irritable. Walked to the IGA supermarket in East Bentleigh and back this morning.

Monday 10/2: VicRoads visit

South-easterly gale-force wind still blowing overnight and into this morning. Had a mild headache overnight also.

Went into the city (Melbourne CBD) by train to visit the VicRoads Customer Service Centre to see if I could get a new version of my driver’s licence there (with my full second name). I was able to; had to hand in my current licence and was issued a temporary one until the updated version arrives. The licence also had an incorrect gap in my surname – Mc Hale – which caused my licence to be declared invalid when filling out online forms. So another task accomplished.

Did not hang around; took the train home once I left the VicRoads office. City is still as grubby and noisy as ever, with a lot of mentally ill homeless people around; it is not a place I enjoy visiting.

Tuesday 11/2: Heating up

Another quiet day. Weather warming up again; hot tomorrow and Thursday, then unwelcome rain.

Feel lethargic as usual. Still several “adulting” tasks to do. Very frustrating not having easy access to a car; the lack of one limits one’s activities greatly.

Wednesday 12/2: A lot of walking; MacBook preferred to desktop and iPad

Hot today. Another tiring day of chores and tasks. I am still in the process of applying for a Multi-Purpose Taxi Program (1/2 entry) so I had to print out and mail off a non-lodgement advice form to the Australian Tax Office as my account on their online site did not go past 2022, for some reason. As I currently don’t have a printer, I went to Southland with my parents via taxi, visited the post office there to buy some stamps, took the train to Bentleigh and walked to the local library to print out the one-page document, then retraced my steps westwards over the railway bridge to visit the post office there and mail off the document, then took the bus back home. Annoyingly, the post boxes that used to be placed on many streets seem to have been stealthily removed in the last year (around the country, it seems: “Locals fume after Australia Post boxes vanish from city ‘without warning’”), so “snail mail” now has to be posted at a post office shop.

”I’ll always love my desktop Mac, but I’ve decided to switch – here’s why ,” Jason Snell for Macworld, 13/12/2024. “[…] it’s also never been a better time to just give the desktop up and learn to love a Mac laptop.” I am also using a similar minimalist setup now (MacBook/iPad/iPhone) and find it quite adequate for my now-modest needs.

On a similar topic, “iPad Stretched To The Switching Point,” Jason McFadden, about the iPad still ultimately not being an adequate replacement for the fully-featured MacBook. (There is a long-running MacRumors thread, “iPad as a laptop replacement,” on users trying to achive this, but there are a lot of forced workarounds to do so.)

Thursday 13/2: Unsettled

Hot, windy, unsettled. Spent the whole day at home. Tired (no sleep) and feeling out-of-sorts.

Friday 14/2: No ♥ for me; switched ISPs to Aussie Broadband; Luddite teens update

Cooler today. Valentine’s Day, but not for me (as always). Relationships never happened in my life.

I decided to take the plunge and switch our home Internet Service Provider from TPG to Aussie Broadband! TPG has quite a negative reputation now. We have been with them for many years – and before that, Chariot (which TPG took over and absorbed). ABB are newere and generally seem to have a good reputation (though they are no cheaper, but all ISPs are pricey). I picked the most basic plan, but have to include a landline as well for my parents (I would not have a landline if I were living alone; I prefer mobile phone now). It is the first time I have switched – Dad would have taken care of that a few years ago, but as he is in cognitive decline now, he simply can’t cope with the process. So as part of my “adulting” I have done so. The lady who signed me up was quite helpful; support staff are based in Australia, which is much preferable. The new modem arrives next week, then it has to be plugged in, the landline number ported and once set up, our TPG account cancelled. The cancellation process is what I am dreading; if this forum post at Whirlpool is any indication, TPG make this a particularly difficult procedure.

”Now in College, Luddite Teens Still Don’t Want Your Likes,” NYT, 30/1. Follow-up to the original “Luddite teens” article (21/12/2022 entry). Most have had to make compromises towards using smartphones in order to function in modern society. For myself, I love my iPhone, iPad and MacBook; they are my connections to the outside world and boundless knowledge and entertainment on the Internet.

I have utterly lost interest in the Russia-Ukraine conflict since last year; it consumed my energy for the two years prior but I burned out on it all, and the bizarre toxicity of the various sites, blogs and commentators who supported it were extremely discouraging after a while. For the sake of my mental health, I quit visiting such sites, and have stopped following that conflict generally. I want nothing more to do with any of it (and I still loathe the blue-and-yellow flag place), and feel better mentally for that decision. I am disengaged from world events generally; my own real-world situation (carer for elderly parents) now consumes all my meager mental and physical energy. Apple computers provide one of my few little enjoyments.

Saturday 15/2: Cold; a busy week ahead

Weather has turned cold and rainy; hard to adjust to.

Next week will be rather busy and extra-stressful as there are various tasks to undertake:

Sunday 16/2: Still cold; another altercation; modem doubts

Still cold and windy; some heavy rain overnight.

Another altercation with Dad this morning (7/5/2024, 14/9/2024 entries) after I griped at him about his continuing pacing around and restlessness (I am the same myself): he lashed out and knocked my food plate out of my hand, but he is so feeble now that no physical harm is done. He loses control easily and is very impulsive (mentally and physically) – another indication of senility, I guess.

Was a bit dismayed to read this very negative Whirlpool forum thread on the Aussie Broadband-supplied modem that I ordered (15/2 entry), the Netcomm NF20MESH, but it is to be delivered tomorrow, so too late to cancel it. Will just have to see how it performs.

Monday 17/2: Vanishing milk bars; new modem delivered

“‘A dying breed’: The last of the corner milk bars,” The Age, 15/2. A nostalgic look at what used to be a staple of every neighbourhood’s local shopping strip. There used to be two such milk bars at the Patterson-Tucker Road corner shops near my parents’ home, but they were replaced by comparatively useless coffee shops in the 2010s. (See my Neighborhood page for some more details.)

The modem supplied by Aussie Broadband (14/2 entry) was delivered today. I set it up and plugged it in, but could not get the outside Internet connection working. I rang ABB for help and they told me I have to wait for them to set up the connection – including the landline telephone – before connecting; they will message me when it is.

Tuesday 18/2: Battery bin banished; stressful week; Apple avoiders

Walked to East Bentleigh to buy a few groceries at the IGA supermarket there, then back home. A bit tired. Was annoyed to find that the disposal bin for batteries had been removed, apparantly because they are a fire hazard. Batteries are not supposed to be disposed of in general rubbish collection bins anymore due to their being hazardous waste, but finding an appropriate recycle outlet is difficult when one does not have a car and thus easy transport.

Feeling stressed due to the various tasks to undertake this week (15/2 entry). Changing Internet Service Providers is the most worrisome, and also getting the e-waste collected that I arranged.

A few people online seem to be swearing off using Apple products due to the current extremely polarized political climate in the USA. An example: “When computing and tech are turned against us,” Beardy Guy Musings, 17/2. I am thinking, Oh, this is just getting silly. No, the USA is not descending into a “fascist dictatorship” (fascist is a word being bandied around a lot by the more hysterical – “‘Was Anyone Going to Say Anything?’,” Kottke.org, 25/1: “[…] it is so completely obvious what Trump and the Republicans are trying to do (they are not hiding it!) and it’s maddening to watch the media and Democratic politicians treat this like any other political situation: ‘that this is all about policy differences’. They are trying to destroy American democracy and amass power for themselves and the oligarchs that support them — that’s what autocracies are for and it’s why Trump and Republicans want one).” Democracy in the USA is resilient and will withstand the current chaos (which has been amplified and exaggerated by news outlets and social media online).

Wednesday 19/2: Third doctor visit; BSS leaving

A busy day. Was driven by Sue the community nurse to Southend Medical Clinic to see Dr. Alison Zhang for my third visit there (previous visit: 22/1 entry). It went OK; mainly updates and advice. My next appointment will be by phone so I don’t have to travel. On her advice, I have been taking a multivitamin supplement, a Vitamin D3 supplement and a melantonin-based tablet called Agomelatine for my insomnia (which I was apparently taking too early in the evening – with my dinner – rather that at bedtime, hence my waking around 1 a.m. in the morning). I am still skeptical about the effectiveness of vitamin supplements as commercially sold and marketed: are they effective at all, or expensive placebos?

Another “leaving Apple” post by Beardy Star Stuff (18/2 entry) at Mastodon: “After 33ish years of using Apple computers I’ve started the process of exiting. Step one, installing Mint Linux on my old, un-used 2012 Mac Mini. Is Cinnamon too much for 2012 Intel Mac, 16GB? Will still be using iPad and Affinity apps for half my freelance income for another 5 years. Moving from iCloud over next few months then gradually move everything else to Linux.” Dave Rogers at Nice Marmot is less impressed but still wants to take some sort of action. Disappointing to see long-term Apple users resorting to such drastic steps, though. I certainly am not the only one wondering what the late and lamented Steve Jobs might have done in regards to the controversy.

Thursday 20/2: Sister here; futile maintenance; e-waste collected; new microwave; Case Manager visit; iPhone 16E released

My sister arrived in Melbourne yesterday, after a 5-hour drive from Wagga Wagga, to spend a few days doing more organizing for my parents.

Steve the handyman from Bayside Council came to look at, and try to repair, the broken fluorescent kitchen ceiling light and the dripping hot water tap in the bathroom basin. Despite his best efforts, the recalcitrant appliances could not be repaired, at least not without calling a private plumber and electrician. The tap is back to constant dripping, almost running now. Steve tried several washers and two spindles, but nothing was effective, and he thinks the problem is further down, and new taps and fixtures needed. The fluorescent light fixture also needs replacing. Steve tried two new lights, but they did not turn on with the power switch, there were no starters in the ballast, and the light ballast itself may need replacing. So a rather frustrating morning, though Steve himself was quite nice and not short of conversation! I am fretting about the damn tap, which is gradually draining the hot water tank and adding to our water bills.

Linda – Mum’s Case Manager from Bayside Care & Support – visited my parents today to set up her home care package.

No updates on the Aussie Broadband porting of our landline number (still in progress), or the e-waste removal I booked. So, a rather frustrating day overall. Update: the e-waste collector came unexpectedly this afternoon – thankfully when Dad was in the shower – and took the items, so that is a small reduction of his clutter, at least!

Dad bought a new microwave (Panasonic model NNSF564WQPQ) to replace the aging one of the same model that we have used for over a decade.

The new version of the basic iPhone SE, renamed the iPhone 16E, has been released. My initial impression: underwhelmed. Mainly by the dismal choice of colors: black or white. That’s it. At the very least perhaps Apple could have released the new iPhone in a selection of the iconic rainbow colors of the classic Apple logo; something bright and happy (1/11/2024 entry). It is $1 under $1000 AUD here, so no longer a cheaper iPhone option.

Friday 21/2: Troublesome tap; ISP transfer completed

The troublesome hot water bathroom sink tap (20/2 entry) is running almost constantly rather than dripping now. Dad made a phone call to a plumber from a number the next door neighbors provided. He called back; will come between 10 a.m. and midday tomorrow.

The Internet Service Provider transfer has been completed! I received an email from our current provider, TPG, saying that “We received a notice from NBN that you have requested to transfer your NBN service to another provider.” Later, Aussie Broadband sent two text messages saying that both the NBN and landline transfers were completed. I connected the modem they provided; initially could not get an outside connection, so I turned off the modem and router for a half-hour or so. This enabled the Internet connection when I turned both back on, but the landline was still not getting through. I called the ABB helpline and they were able to configure the modem from their end, so our Internet and landline connections now function.

I then had to call TPG to confirm our account with them was canceled; took two calls (first help desk man said I needed Dad’s authorization as the account was under his name; he had gone out with Mum and my sister); I called back later and the lady at the help desk said my account was now canceled (did not need Dad to confirm). So I will keep an eye on the direct debit transactions to make sure. Another task for this week accomplished!

My sister took care of one bank-related task for my parents today; she has to do another task tomorrow. She leaves Sunday. Wish I could actually enjoy her company without being focused on the travails of our parents!

Saturday 22/2: Tap fixed 🚰🤞🏻

My sister drove here again (she is staying with friends in Seaford while here), taking my parents to Southland SC for some more tasks. I remained at home to await the plumber. Unfortunately she has to depart for her home in Wagga Wagga tomorrow.

Chris from Around the Clock Plumbing arrived after 12 p.m. and fixed the balky hot water tap – hopefully! He was quite nice. The tap is no longer dripping and running constantly, but I am still eyeing it suspiciously, nervous that something else will go wrong with it. We will see how it holds up; I am sure I will wake up one night and find it running again.

I have been thinking that I would not miss living in this house if and when it is eventually sold and demolished; it has become a place of discomfort and unhappiness. I do not know what it is like to live in a house or flat that is modern, comfortable and with nothing breaking or deteriorating. I daydream obsessively about living in such a dwelling; it is a comforting fantasy.

Sunday 23/2: Hot; bird encounter; sister departed

A warm night, near 30°C, and gale-force winds sprung up in the early morning. Became stormy, humid and unsettled in the afternoon with some rain.

Saw a Tawny Frogmoth – a native nocturnal insectivorous bird that somewhat resembles an owl – perched on the washing line this morning when I went out to hang some clothes. I have seen them occasionally in my neighborhood over the years. It sat there for a few more minutes, then flew away.

Sister departed for Wagga Wagga today, sadly; it is so good to talk to a normally-functioning person, as opposed to my increasingly-senile parents. She arrived at her home safely.

Monday 24/2: Walled garden or chaotic jungle

To Chadstone SC by bus. Dismayed to see Daiso has closed, temporarily for renovations. They have a huge selection of obscure but useful knick-knacks that similar stores don’t.

“Apple to Linux Journal – First Days,” Beardy Guy Musings, 22/2. He continues (19/2 entry) the glitchy process of trying to substitute the chaotic variety of open-source alternatives to the integrated Apple ecosystem. Very difficult and time-consuming, and non-technical users (who just want their devices to work) would likely not cope. Chris Wiegman is another who is switching from Apple to Linux (“How to Get Away From Big Tech - Again,” 10/1; “Moving Away from Apple … Again, 7/2; “Finding Non-Apple Services,” 21/2) because of Apple and the current U.S. political climate. Is exchanging Apple’s restricted-but-efficient walled garden for a chaotic jungle worth the payoff?

Tuesday 25/2: Steve at 70

“Steve Jobs Would Have Celebrated His 70th Birthday Today,” MacRumors, 24/2. As always, he is sorely missed, particularly with the current state and direction of Apple today. The company needs (another) reset. An extra article: “Jony Ive Still Asks ‘What Would Steve Do?’ Despite Jobs’ Warning.”

“At the same time, Cook had to pull off another seemingly impossible task: figuring out a way to defuse the constant pressure for Apple to invent another device that would transform the world yet again. The demand was both unrealistic and unrelenting, and the clamor was only growing, especially in the wake of the latest numbers. […] As he looked across Apple’s business for a solution, he identified what he thought would be the perfect answer. It was a radical idea that reinvented Apple’s entire business strategy. Instead of defining the company entirely through its dazzling products, Cook wanted to focus more attention on the promise and potential of the services offered through those products.”
After Steve – Chapter 20: Power Moves, Tripp Mickle

That quote summarizes where Apple lost its original purpose and way, in my view. Also, tangentially from that chapter: “Steve Jobs had been antipolitical. He had believed that if Apple made great products, it would have more political and cultural influence.”

Wednesday 26/2: Haircut; clean-up; digital hairshirting; not a coup

Had a haircut today; just a trim to tidy up the ends.

A frustrating and tiring morning that involved cleaning up after a parent’s incontinence episodes. Having to do thus several times a day (and being on constant alert for the next episode) is mentally and physically draining, and only adds to my ongoing stress and anger.

I get little if any enjoyment out of anything as this is my life now (except for). All the creative work I was producing a few years ago is foreign to me now; I have no interest in creating at all, just consuming passively.

“Apple to Linux Journal - a Week of progress,” Beardy Star Stuff, 25/2 (previously: 24/2 entry). BSS continues his quest to make his digital life more difficult for himself. A few of the tech people whose websites I visit are taking this stance against the supposedly-evil “Big Tech” companies (Apple, Meta, Google, Microsoft and so on). Such virtue-signalling is getting annoying (I think of it as “digital hairshirting” – choosing to do this particular thing the hard way so as to support an ideological stance).

As is the hysteria from some regarding the so-called “coup” that is the current U.S. Presidency; a misnomer if there ever was. Like him or hate him, the current President was elected, and I doubt all the dire scenarios being postulated by some will become reality. (An example such hyperbolic blog post: “A Programming Note, Jason Kottke: “I have pivoted to posting almost exclusively about the coup happening in the United States right now. My focus will be on this crisis for the foreseeable future.”)

Thursday 27/2: A long walk

Another night of little sleep.

I walked to East Bentleigh this morning for groceries, then to Bentleigh with some clothing to donate in my jeep. I am undertaking a much-needed clothing purge, which is extremely tiring and stressful as I can only carry small quantities each journey. According to my iPhone’s fitness app, I covered 7.27 km with a step count of 11,445! Much more activity than I usually do, so I am quite tired now.

Friday 28/2: Clothing declutter continues; telehealth call

Another day of clothing donations; my pull-along jeep is getting a real workout! Two heavy loads of 3 bags each, and more to go over the next week. Took the bus and train to Southland SC first to drop off one load in a donation bin there, then the bus back home, then after loading up, the bus to Bentleigh and back (too exhausted to walk home again).

Had a scheduled phone call (telehealth) with Steve, a mental health nurse at Southend Medical Centre. (Though apparently the appointment was in-person, not a phone call, according to the receptionist who phoned me? Some misunderstanding there.) He was nice to talk to, but I simply can’t do his suggestions of having time out for myself (seeing a movie, etc.) – I am too exhausted and burned-out mentally, and feel no interest in seeing movies or listening to music.

March

Saturday 1/3: New iPhone!

Traded in my iPhone 15 for the base Phone 16 – 256 GB, 6.1” iPhone 16 in Teal, a lovely vivid color which I coveted as soon as I saw it; the Pink and Ultramarine are also appealing, but I continue my tradition of green iPhones :-). I had a bit of money saved, and wanted to treat myself. I also think prices will rise, given the unwelcome tariffs being imposed, and there seems to be some rumors that there will be no more iPhones in that size (which I find an ideal size for myself).

I did the trade-in at the Southland Apple Store (where I have done all such trade-ins before). It, and the data transfer from old to new phones, generally went smoothly – except for the eSIM This refused to transfer; I went to the store of my mobile phone provider, but they said they could do nothing until the eSIM ported. So I endured much anxiety for at least 4 hours, until thankfully my mobile number and connection began working on the new iPhone. But I am considering moving back to a physical SIM card as having to wait with great uncertainty as to whether the process would work was quite stressful.

Sunday 2/3: Stay with eSIM or not? Suspicious leg lesion

On second thoughts, I might stay with an eSIM after all (1/3 entry), but perhaps if and when I eventually upgrade my iPhone, temporarily transfer to a physical SIM card before the trade-in. (Though, reading the advantages and disadvantages, maybe SIM card is preferable after all?)

Also found out the correct way to remove a MagSafe case – turn the iPhone face-down (over a soft surface!) and gently ease the case’s bottom corners out and up.

A new health-related issue of concern is this suspicious-looking lesion that’s persisted on the outside of my right calf for a few weeks (it was a reddish lump before that for many months); I obviously need to have a doctor examine it, but there is the problem of transport, and payment (if it turns out to be a cancer that needs excising). As if I don’t have enough stress and problems already!

Monday 3/3: Physical SIM card in use again; fungal infection? Purging continues

I went to the Vodafone store in Southland and the sales assistant lady there swapped my eSIM for a physical card (2/3 entry).

Visited the local chemist regarding my worrisome leg sore (2/3 entry); Natalie there seemed to think it might be a fungal infection and I bought some suggested anti-fungal & cortisone cream to try. If it is not effective, then I will try to see a GP.

The clothing purge continues; I have lost count of the bags taken to charity shops so far. I decided for outer clothing (jackets, trousers) I will stick to monochrome colors (black, grey, cream/white) and only have colors for tops.

Tuesday 4/3: Another brain blank for Dad; unwelcome price increase; MyID madness

A stressful and trying day. Dad had another brain glitch or blank-out episode this morning (previously: 1/10/2024 entry) – forgot how to make his breakfast, so I had to do this for him (microwave a bowl of oatmeal; make some toast). He has been disorientated all day.

Got an email from Vodafone informing me of a plan price increase, very unwelcome news. Had to ring up the MyID helpline as I was unable to re-establish my identity strength for the MyID app on my new iPhone; a maddening process of going in circles. The man on the helpline was able to get me through it eventually. Again I am exhausted and burnt-out, and desperately wanting my parents to go into respite care (which they are stubbornly resistant to).

Wednesday 5/3: Dazed and confused; a marathon phone call; more purging

A disrupted and unsettled night due to parents, especially Dad getting up and blundering around, still disorientated. He slept later than normal this morning, and I still had to help him get his breakfast. He is deteriorating mentally and physically, and I cannot cope with him and Mum. He is very quick to anger and has little self-control.

No progress on the Multi-Purpose Taxi Program yet. I ended up ringing the Australian Tax Office to enquire about the Taxation Non-Lodgement Advice that I mailed off on 12/2, and I spent two hours on my iPhone with a helpful ATO lady who sorted it out (the form had been received, but not yet processed). She said it would be mailed off late today, and I should get it before week’s end. Hopefully it will be the correct form for my MPTP program.

Donated four more bags of clothes and accessories today; I have donated the bulk of what I wanted to purge (at least 10 bags since last week!). Still some more smaller items to go.

Thursday 6/3: Sky Blue MacBook Air! Image Playground tryout

The new M4-chip MacBook Airs were revealed today, one of the colors, Space Grey, being replaced with a lovely Sky Blue! As gorgeous as the Midnight Blue. If I didn’t already have Midnight, Sky Blue would be the obvious choice for me.

Tried out the Image Playground app that uses Apple Intelligence to manipulate photos (with a deliberately cartoonish outcome). The results using a photo of me were a bit … uncanny-valleyish. I don’t smile openly like that in reality!

Friday 7/3: To Chadstone; still purging

To Chadstone SC by 627-route bus this morning.

Still sorting my stuff gradually and getting rid of little bits and pieces. Wearisome and tiring. A lot of my stuff is utility things – storage, stationery, gadgets and so on.

Saturday 8/3: Still decluttering; still not a coup; Khannea and AI; Solstice-5

Still offloading stuff. Various bits and pieces. Very tired.

The hyperbolic hysteria continues online, to a tiresome degree (26/2 entry). No, the recent Presidential election was not a “coup,” nor is American democracy being “disassembled” (despite what bloggers such as Jason Kottke assert). I just roll my eyes and watch the show with disengagement.

One of the online people whose websites I visit, Khannea Suntzu (previously: 7/8/2023 entry) has been obsessed with AI recently, and is writing a lot of blog posts with the assistance of ChatGPT. Two recent ones of interest are “– T H E – F A R – F R O N T I E R –” and “Various Super-Human AGI scenario examples.”

Two magnificent and disturbing short (~10 minutes) computer-animated sci-fi movies by Paul Chadeisson:

  1. SOLSTICE - 5: “In a race for domination, the Continental Alliance’s ambition leads to the uninhibited exploitation of planet Solstice-5. As they construct unstoppable autonomous factories, the Alliance’s insatiable quest for power leaves behind a forsaken workforce in a world spiraling out of control.”
  2. SOLSTICE - 5: Forgotten archives: a sequel.

Sunday 9/3: Another clean-up; aging-in-place not working; war on cars article

Dad got up during the night to use the toilet, stumbled on the way (with his now-usual clumsiness) and managed to soak his pyjamas. So an unwanted extra bit of washing this morning. Really fed up with this; my parents are both incontinent and I am sick of cleaning up after them. Dad still won’t contemplate respite care (he can look after things, so he deludedly thinks) and dismisses my distress.

I am sick of people telling me to ring various carer-related hotlines; the advice is well-meaning, but I am simply not comfortable trying to explain my situation to strangers, and what I want is practical help (ideally, for my parents to go to respite care so I can have a damn break. Ideally, permanently). A relevant r/AgingParents post: “Aging in place is screwing our generation over.”

War on cars (previously: 13/10/2023, 27/12/2024 entries): “A tortuous path: The push to get Melburnians to ditch their cars,” The Age, 8/3. An infuriating article as it demonstrates how divorced from reality these idealistic town planners and local councilors are. My parents are too frail to use public transport and rely on taxis to go anywhere now. They struggle to get in or out of cars, and could not move quickly enough for a train or bus that’s on a schedule. There are also the ridiculously low speed limits (30 km/h!), installing suspension-damaging speed humps on streets and the constant removal of parking spaces. The Reddit post that linked to the article is equally full of car-hating young people (seems to be the typical attitude for Redditors generally).

Monday 10/3: Annoying holiday; hot; Wacoms sold; hard shell case again; Bill Dietrich in Peru again

An annoying public holiday (Labour Day) that disrupts my plans, as usual. Wish most public holidays could be abolished. Had a mild headache overnight due to the warm weather – low 20s overnight.

A CeX store opened in Southland SC last week (previously: 7/12/2024 entry), so I took three Wacom drawing tablets there that I no longer use to sell (one a Wacom Intuos medium-sized tablet, received for Christmas – 25/12/2014 entry), and two small Wacom One tablets bought at Aldi supermarket in 2015 and 2017 that I never used. Only received a paltry amount – a total of $34 for all three! – but better than nothing. They are quite old now, so I wasn’t expecting much. I have lost interest in digital art, so I just wanted to get rid of them.

Decided to try again a hard shell case for my MacBook Air (24/10/2024 entry), after reading this r/MacBookAir post, “Another post about cases – but not a question if it is ok,” who points out the exaggerated assertion on the subReddit that such cases will damage a laptop. It is notable that hard cases are sold at Apple Stores (I bought mine at the Southland store, a clear Incase Edge Hardshell Case for 13” MacBook Air).

Moderately hot (high 20s/low 30s) weather for most of the week, somewhat humid and unsettled; perhaps from the remnants of Cylcone Alfred that has devastated Queensland and some of New South Wales over the last week. My sister’s four adult children live in Brisbane, but so far they have not been badly affected, thankfully.

One of the online people/bloggers I follow, Bill Dietrich (previously: 8/5/2024) is currently visiting Peru for the third time with his wife Dora (who has Spanish nationality but is of Peruvian birth, and thus relatives there). Their relationship seems a bit strained at the moment, from what he recounts (he writes brief entries most days). I do like to read such ”slice-of-life” blogs, about people’s everyday (normal!) lives (I guess I can live vicariously through them – 30/4/2024 entry).

Tuesday 11/3: Dad disorientated again; sticker sacrilege

Another disorientation episode for Dad on arising; the second since last week (4/3 entry). He took a long time struggling to arise from bed and get dressed; I had to help him get his breakfast again. Much screaming and anger between the three of us; I am exhausted from all of this. Dad will not listen to me and is in complete denial that he is not functioning (he gets exasperatingly flippant when pressed on the issue). I am at the point where I think, To hell with them; let them do as they will and bear the consequences.

Lee Peterson has begun putting stickers on his new MacBook Pro. I am not a fan of this practice! Stickers leave indelible marks on the anodised aluminium surface when eventually removed. A hard shell case is an advantage here as it is fair game for stickers.

Another strong reason for using a hardshell case (10/3 entry) is the apparent fragility of the anodised aluminium; going by the frequency of posts in the MacBook subReddits, the surface is easily scratched or chipped.

Wednesday 12/3: Dad to hospital again (briefly); two ambulance callouts in one day; MPTP approved; a typical American school day

An extremely stressful afternoon and evening yesterday due to Dad still being disorientated and Mum consequently upset and fretting. I can’t cope with either of them, let alone both together. Dad was extremely fatigued as usual after such episodes and went to bed early in the evening. They both need to go into managed care as they are too far deteriorated mentally and physically to “Age in place.”

And more drama this morning when Dad sat down in his ancient decrepit armchair after breakfast, slept for a while, then was unable to arise on waking, complaining of intense stabbing pain over his left back and shoulder. Mum ended up calling an ambulance; the paramedics ran some tests but could find nothing definitive. They took him to Monash Medical Centre in Clayton as a precaution (where he stayed during his last hospitalization – 5/12/2024 entry onwards). He was mentally “not right” and cranky and unco-operative with me (a usual situation now). Again I am exhausted and fed up.

Update, 2:26 p.m.: Dad is to be discharged later this afternoon – nothing of real concern regarding the back and shoulder pain he was having this morning.

And another update, 8:53 p.m.: Dad came home, but was still very fatigued and irrational, and after dinner he lay down on his bed and would not get up. He got very hostile towards me when I tried to get him up. Mum called an ambulance again, and two female paramedics attended; again his only symptoms were a borderline higher than normal temperature and elevated heartbeat. The paramedics did a virtual emergency department videoconference with the hospital; the doctor there thought he could stay at home for now – he has an important appointment tomorrow morning with a geriatrician.

I won’t be sleeping much tonight, if at all. I am on hyperalert at night in case of my parents having mishaps.

A little bit of good news: my Multi Purpose Taxi Program voucher application (5/3 entry) has finally been approved! (I received the Non-Lodgement Advice paper from the Australian Tax Office in the mail yesterday).) The voucher will arrive in the mail.

From r/AskAnAmerican, a topic that interests me, related to my ongoing fascination with everyday American lives (6/2/2022 entry): “What does a school day look like in USA?” The movies featuring this topic exaggerate a lot of it, according to the various comments.

Thursday 13/3: More Dad dramas – to hospital again!

And the Dad drama continues. He tried to get out of bed early this morning, ended up on the floor and could not get up. It’s now 4:33 a.m., Mum and I are awaiting an ambulance as he is too weak to lever himself up (and too heavy for both of us to pull him up, though he is not overweight – more the opposite). He has been there since around 2:45 a.m.. He is otherwise alert and mostly uninjured (aside from his sore upper left back and shoulder). I don’t know if he will even make his appointment later this morning (12/3 entry).

8:01 a.m.: He didn’t – the ambulance eventually came just after 6 a.m.; two male paramedics examined him and could find no obvious heart issues (one remarked that he was in good health for his age), but one did state outright that Dad should be in respite care. They used an inflatable seat to lever him upwards, and he was taken to Monash Medical Centre again. Three ambulance callouts in 24 hours is a definite sign something is wrong with him (still complaining of pain in his left shoulder and back). So more of Mum fretting and asking where he is. So exhausted from all this.

11:50 a.m.: Sue the community nurse (previously: 19/2 entry) rang and said Dad would not be discharged today (thankfully); not sure when he will be. He is really not safe to return home.

Friday 14/3: I do ♥ my iPhone; clueless urban planning

Mum was taken to respite care this morning by Nicole from Bayside City Council aged care service, to Opal Horizons in Caulfield for two weeks. She was very reluctant to go, but was persuaded to by my sister. I hope they can manage her and settle her in. Dad’s situation is still unknown. It will still be a shock for me, to be by myself after all the stress and anxiety. But in a sense the parents I grew up with and used to know as functioning people “died” a few years ago.

“What’s up with Apple marketing these days?,” Lee Peterson, 13/3. “This is a pretty bleak message, love your iPhone? It’s a thing, love people not things. It’s a tool, a bit of technology nothing more. You can get enjoyment out of using it but never love a thing.” Well, I disagree – I unapologetically love my iPhone (and iPad and MacBook Air); they spark joy in me just to look at them, and are beautiful and useful objects. They are my gateways to a world of information, creativity and entertainment.

War on Cars (9/3 entry): “Fewer car parks, more fees: The Melbourne suburbs facing a ‘car lite’ overhaul,” The Age, 13/3. “‘Can you imagine trying to push a pram with a toddler, in the rain, while carrying bags of groceries? Not everyone can ride a bike or rely on public transport, and forcing people into an unrealistic model of urban planning is reckless.”’ One of the few topics I agree with the (Liberal/Conservative) Opposition about.

Saturday 15/3: Alone; surprise sister visit

First night alone without my parents for many years. Eerily quiet. Feeling a bit shellshocked from Thursday’s traumatic events with Dad (13/3 entry). Spent most of the day wandering around the house and doing bits of cleaning and tidying here and there, and have consequently exhausted myself. So much stuff, and so much filth (dust, clothes moths, spiders, etc.). The eventual cleanout of this house will take months of exhausting labor.

My sister unexpectedly decided to drive down to Melbourne yesterday – a welcome surprise! I saw her today; she visited both my parents (Dad in hospital; Mum in respite care). Both parents are intermittently lucid, but they fade in and out of this like a fluctuating radio signal. She returns to Wagga Wagga tomorrow, but she and her husband will come down again for next weekend.

A relevant article: “Carers Australia calls for more support as celebrities shed light on the reality of caregiving,” ABC News, 15/3.

Sunday 16/3: Sister departed; no desktop PC benefits for me; no 🇺🇸 boycott for me

My sister visited me again briefly before departing to see our parents, then drive back home to Wagga Wagga. She and her husband drive back down next Friday for the weekend for more parent-related tasks. Hopefully one day we will get together properly, without having to rush around.

Australian Grand Prix being held in Melbourne this weekend. Very wet conditions – yet another tropical-style downpour after a hot day yesterday.

“Some of the Benefits of Owning an Inexpensive Full-Sized Desktop PC,” Cheapskate’s Guide, 14/3. He does have a point, but the reason I have abandoned full-sized desktop computer cases is their sheer bulk – they are quite heavy, take up a lot of space, can be noisy, and the tangle of cables for the required peripherals is annoying. And now I just simply want to use my devices with a minimum of fuss; to have them just work. I don’t have the time or mental energy to build and tinker with PCs.

I am not going to boycott American products. I don’t feel any hate for Elon Musk or Tesla cars. The hateful hyperbole around the current U.S. Presidency has gotten ridiculous. An example are two recent hit-pieces masquerading as articles in Wired: “The United States of Elon Musk Inc.,” 13/3; “Inside Elon Musk’s ‘Digital Coup’,” 13/3. The writers of such articles are desperately scrounging for any scrap of so-called incriminating evidence, and are just as biased as they claim their opponents to be.

Monday 17/3: Second hard rubbish collection booked; A.I. and the aged wish

I booked my second hard rubbish collection by the local Council for this year (previous one: 4/2 entry), for tomorrow. Am exhausted from lugging out the heavy items onto our naturestrip. Hopefully these won’t be scattered and scavenged overnight by annoying opportunists before they are collected. One more free collection booking left for this year.

Took the 627 bus and Frankston line train to Southland SC this morning.

Thinking of the ordeal with my aging parents over the last year, and in particular since last December (5/12/2024 entry), I again feverently wish for artificial intelligence to be used in the aged care sector – e.g. autonomous cars to enable some independence for those elderly living at home; robotic AI assistants for everyday tasks, companionship and so on (26/7/2024 entry). Here, AI would be truely useful if it is possible to develop it.

Tuesday 18/3: Hard rubbish collected; a time of uncertain anxiety

The hard rubbish collection that I put out yesterday (17/3 entry) was collected this morning, but a couple of items had been scavenged overnight, annoyingly, so I had to tidy up the pile a bit. So frustrating when others wreck things.

Sue the community nurse drove me to Services Victoria (formerly a Centrelink office building) in Oakleigh to sort out a payment issue. My financial situation is very precarious (long-term unemployed and have been dependent upon parents’ pensions); I could too easily become homeless. At the moment I just feel anxious, numb, depressed (my usual state of mind), lost. The next few weeks are very uncertain as I don’t know what will happen to my parents – but their returning home and all of us trying to function like before is just untenable. I can’t cope with two ailing, incontinent parents in cognitive decline, let alone one.

Wednesday 19/3: A.I. aged care assistants; Apple Intelligence … isn’t; extreme minimalist devices; odd hobbies

“Robotics and AI are set to revolutionise aged care,” 7:30 Report, 18/3. A video with transcript on how current robotic assistance can be of use in aged care homes (this one in Wagga Wagga, where my sister and her husband live, co-incidentally!), which are perennially short-staffed due to the work itself being extremely stressful (19/7/2024; 17/3 entries): “Consigning the drudgery to robots and the more satisfying work to humans could tackle a huge problem in aged care – retaining people. It’s already short staffed, and about 65,000 workers leave the industry each year as demand surges.’ The robots are still very rudimentary and there are the usual annoyingly patronizing reassurances that they won’t replace humans. I could see some residents preferring interacting with the robots to humans! When AI robots in homes are mentioned, I think of the 1999 movie Bicentennial Man (starring the late and very lamented Robin Williams as the titular robotic assistant, this one in stylized human form).

“Something Is Rotten in the State of Cupertino,” Daring Fireball, 12/3. Longtime Apple enthusiast and commentator, John Gruber, gave Apple – and, in particular, its botched promise of Apple Intelligence – an unusually acerbic and justified verbal reaming last week, generating much commentary amongst the community (Michael Tsai gives a useful summary and links on his blog). Apple is certainly not the dynamic company it was under Steve Jobs (another well-worn criticism, but there is truth in in) and it is in dire need of another shake-up (5/2 entries).

A r/ExtremeMinimalism post I found interesting: “Phone as only computer?” – “Just wondering if anyone has gotten rid of their laptops and or tablets and only have a phone for all their computer needs.” Using a portable Bluetooth keyboard, this could be do-able, depending upon one’s needs (I still need to upload to my website via FTP, so not sure if there are apps catering for this). An alternative is to tether one’s MacBook to an iPhone and use the mobile Internet connection – Personal Hotspot (though some carriers seem to disappprove of this, as mentioned in this Whirlpool forum post).

Some hobbies I find baffling:

Thursday 20/3: iCreep continues – Apple Watch

Very windy and unsettled; cool change and rain are forecast for later today.

My own “iCreep” continues – I decided to treat myself to an Apple Watch! Have been thinking of buying one for some time, the basic model (SE 40mm, GPS, Midnight – a very dark blue-black, like my Midnight MacBook Air M3). I bought it at the store I usually go to, Apple Southland. I chose the Sage Green sport band, and can always buy more bands in different colors and styles if desired. A useful task it can do (with my iPhone nearby to transmit a signal) is take phone calls, and use Apple Pay.

Friday 21/3: Unsure of Apple Watch; M1 snagged

Some heavy rain yesterday evening, then cool and gloomily overcast today.

Not quite sure whether I want to keep the Apple Watch or not (20/3 entry). I have 14 days to return it if I decide not to.

Did a possibly silly thing and bought a Refurbished 13.3-inch MacBook Air Apple M1 Chip with 8‑Core CPU and 7‑Core GPU - Gold that appeared on the Australian Apple Store. I have been obsessed with that model ever since I first saw it when it came out (but could not afford it). The rose-gold color and the form factor – the curvy clamshell design that had been used before the M2 redesign – still appeals. I also want a backup laptop in case my main M3 needs repairs. The M1 is very limited now (only 8 GB RAM and 256 GB storage) but it is enough for frugal use. The last one that was listed sold very quickly (and was $100 more), so when I saw this one I was quick to snag it (and as it is now listed as unavailable, looks like it was the only model there). Again, there is the 14-day returns window should I change my mind. I have come across some listed on various online stores and sites such as eBay and Gumtree, but buying from such places is a gamble. I wonder if there will still be any cosmetic damage with the Apple Store refurbished model.

Some collected links on the M1 Air from various blogs:

Saturday 22/3: Sister and husband here; Apple Watch and M1 refunded

My sister and her husband drove down to Melbourne from Wagga Wagga yesterday to continue sorting out various tasks regarding our parents. They are both staying at Caulfield Horizons Care Community for a while (don’t know how long for yet, though it is not free). Dad has apparently been acting very erratically, making phone calls at odd hours to my sister and trying to arrange a taxi to get him home. Which is the last thing I want! He is clearly in cognitive decline, even getting dementia. He is no longer safe to be at home, in any case. Both are comfortable, safe, and well looked-after at the respite home, unlike here at their own home (old, deteriorating, unclean, uncomfortable, unsafe for elderly).

Decided to return the Apple Watch and cancelled my order for the refurbished MacBook M1 Air (21/3 entry). I found the watch to be a bit irritating (yet another device to charge; has poor batterly life; dislike the feel of it on my wrist; an unnecessary purchase generally). I also had second thoughts about the M1 (it is 5 years old, inadequate RAM and storage by current standards, and another device to upkeep and recharge; I also did not want to divide my attention between two laptops). So both were refunded at the Southland Apple Store (though it will take a few days for the refunds to show in my bank account).

Sunday 23/3: Spoke to parents; an afternoon of sorting; M1 to M4 worth it?

My sister and her husband called in this morning, then drove to see my parents at their respite care. Did a FaceTime link with them via her iPhone. They seem quite content there, though Dad did say he hoped they would go home soon (I emphatically hope not!).

Had a disconcerting issue with my iPhone 16’s screen flashing pink before going into sleep mode. Came across this MacRumors forum post, iPhone 16 Pink screen flashing – it seems to be a software glitch related to the stock dynamic wallpaper, according to some. I do have it on that wallpaper, but changed it and will see if the pink reoccurs.

My sister is staying at a friend’s home until Thursday (her husband drove back to Wagga Wagga today). We spent a tiring afternoon making a start on sorting through Dad’s disorganized pile of bills, bank statements and so on, dating back years. Decluttering this house will take months of exhausting work.

“More thoughts on the M4 MacBook Air,” L. D. Stephens, 21/3. His thoughts on whether upgrading from an M1 to the newest M4 MacBook Air is worth it for light users, in reference to Ben Lovejoy’s article at 9to5 Mac: “Buying a five-year-old MacBook Air was the right decision for me.” Though he was using it as a backup machine for his MacBook Pro. Also, he likes the older form factor: “I have to say that using this one made me fall in love with the MacBook Air all over again – and part of that was the iconic wedge design which survived into the first generation of Apple Silicon models. I do absolutely adore that look.

Monday 24/3: Headache; sold iPad 2; Apple to Linux chronicles

Felt headachey and vaguely nauseous overnight and into this morning. Weather has been sunny and calm; quite lovely Autumn weather. Mornings are beginning to get a little chilly.

It is very pleasant to be able to go to bed at night and not be disturbed by my parents getting up and blundering around. I still waken early, though, but I just don’t worry about insomnia – I seem to be an “early to bed, early to rise” sort of person.

Took my old iPad 2 to CeX in Southland SC to sell; got the grand total of $13 for it. Oh, well, it’s old and slow, and is better than nothing at all.

“Apple to Linux Journal Series Home,” Beardy Guy Musings. Denny Henke’s page listing entries of his transition from Apple to Linux Operating Systems. Linux would be a last-resort option for me as it is still not entirely user-friendly, too fragmented (the saying “Too many cooks spoil the broth” seems appropriate, given the bewildering number of distros available) and precariously reliant upon unpaid volunteers to maintain essential elements.

Tuesday 25/3: Still busy with parents’ future; clothing color reduction?

A lovely sunny Autumn day; unfortunately I am too preoccupied to get any enjoyment out of it! More Centrelink forms to fill in with regards to my parents, which is tiring and stressful. My sister is still very busy trying to organize my parents’ affairs and future living arrangements before she has to drive back to Wagga Wagga on Thursday. Maybe – hopefully – one day we can simply socialize for enjoyment again.

Regarding my clothing colors (17/11/2024 entry), I am considering simplifying my palette further and just wearing a selection of base colors (black, grey, white) and donating my colored tops. I still have too much.

Wednesday 26/3: Purging colored clothing begins; new laser printer

I spent a tiring hour or so clearing out all my colored tops (so many!) and putting into bags to donate, leaving me with monochrome colors (black, grey, white – 25/3 entry). Less physical and mental clutter for me; makes deciding what to wear easier (black/grey one week; white/grey the next). Taking them to various charity shops is the exhausting part – I am limited to what I can pull along in my shopping jeep, so multiply walks over several days are required. I will still choose colors for peripherals such as glasses, my Apple devices (teal-green iPhone, blue iPad, midnight-blue MacBook Air).

Bought a basic mono laser printer yesterday (Brother Mono Laser Printer HL-L1230W) and managed to get it set up and working! The WiFi connection is a bit finicky – drops out after a few minutes of the printer being idle – but I connected it to my MacBook Air and this picked up the signal. So that is one small achievement. I have needed to print out various documents over the last few weeks, and trudging off to the local library to do so gets very tiring.

Thursday 27/3: Sister departed; joined Ambulance Victoria; free eMac … taken!

My sister departs for Wagga Wagga today; a lengthy 5-hour drive. She and I had a coffee at a local café, which was pleasant, though overshadowed by the current crisis with our elderly parents’ future. Sad to see her go, as always.

I thought it expedient to join Ambulance Victoria for ambulance ride coverage as for most people this is not government-funded (Michele signed up my parents today for this, which prompted me to sign up). It is not expensive – currently $53.37 for a single – and is extra peace of mind.

Decided to put Dad’s old white eMac (1/11/2024 entry) on our naturestrip in the hopes a passerby might take it (or the hard rubbish scavengers). I nearly badly injured myself in the struggle to lift and drag it off the workbench and outside (I already have a sore lower back from all the donation bags hauling I have done). The damn thing weighs approximately 23 kg (a little over half my body weight) and I could barely move it – certainly not carry it in my arms. Took me perhaps half-an-hour to get it to the naturestrip (with the help of a hand truck Dad fortuitously has), cursing Dad’s insane hoarding and accumulated clutter (which only made the task even more difficult). I have no affection for it and just wish to be rid of it as it is so horrendously heavy and bulky (what were its designers thinking?). If not taken, I will put it out with the last free local council hard rubbish collection for this year.

Update: unbelievably, less than two hours after I put it out (around 11 a.m.), the eMac had been taken! So I am much relieved (a literal weight off my mind). It had not been turned on for many years, so I have no idea if it still functions, but perhaps it can be used for spare parts. I have no interest in retrocomputing – for me, such items are more bulky clutter.

Friday 28/3: Bad outcomes; second telehealth session with Steve

Not a good day. My NDIS application (15/1 entry) was rejected as “… this evidence does not indicate that all available and appropriate treatment options that are likely to remedy your impairments eating disorder have been explored. These treatment options must be explored before this requirement can be met.” That apparently involves seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist as part of treatment, which I really don’t want to do (I have done so on several occasions in the past, but ultimately they were no help) but will have to in order to qualify.

The other bad news is that my parents will have to come home later next week as the respite facility they are currently in (Caulfield Horizons – 22/3 entry) is too expensive to stay in for a prolonged period, so that will mean back to the awfulness of before Dad’s being taken to hospital (13/3 entry), and having to deal with incontinent parents and their erratic behavior. It is just not safe or comfortable for them here at home anymore, and it is only a matter of time before one or the other has another bad accident. If I have to cope with them again I will have a mental and physical breakdown.

Had a telehealth session with Steve the mental health nurse (28/2 entry); a nice chat about managing my current situation. I will have to try to see a psychologist so as to qualify for another NDIS application, perhaps; I don’t know what will happen yet.

Saturday 29/3: Heavy hauling

A very tiring morning of hauling heavy loads! Took some more old hard disk drives found in a bag in Dad’s she to Officeworks for recycling (had to get the 822 bus to a nearby bus stop, then walk for over 5 minutes to the store), then some books to charity shops in Bentleigh (another lengthy walk with a fully-loaded shopping jeep). I am now utterly exhausted; according to the iPhone fitness app, I have covered nearly 6 km!

Sunday 30/3: Dad turns 92

Dad is 92 today. Can’t visit him and Mum at Caulfield Horizons due to lack of a car (and I still am waiting on my MPTP voucher in the mail …?). I did manage to call him (via calling the nurse at the home, who forwarded me to Dad on their landline phone).

A relaxed and peaceful morning (a rare event), but the awfulness of next week looms, with my parents to return and the stress and mess that entails.

Monday 31/3: In the pit of despair; hikikomori documentary rewatch

Took the bus to Chadstone SC this morning.

Extract from an email my sister sent me (slightly edited):

Mum and Dad’s situation is complicated financially.

Respite is costing a significant amount per week.

They are also continuing to pay for all the costs related to their home.

[…] At this stage I can’t see how to get them into permanent care without being able to sell the house to meet the lump sum entry fee.

Even if I was able to get our parents into concessional care (of which I have found none so far) they will not be able to continue to afford the costs associated with the house.

As a potentially protected person you have the right to stay in the house. However, it was reported to me by Services Australia (Aged Care Specialist Officer) that it is unlikely that you will be able to afford the costs associated with the house. For example: utilities, rates, maintenance.

It is likely that at least Dad will need to return home, perhaps even both of them in the next week or so.

You have made it clear that you will not cope with their return.

The focus needs to be put into working out a solution to this complexity. Ideally it would benefit you and our parents if you were able to find your own accommodation. This would enable us to sell the home so that our parents could afford to get into permanent care. Otherwise they will need to return home with as many services as I can organise. The dynamic between you and our parents is untenable. It brings out the worst in you all and has led to mum calling 000 in response to the yelling altercation between you and Dad.

I am still seeking assistance into understanding the best way forward and would appreciate your support. I also appreciate that these potential changes are huge for yourself and no easy task.

The altruistic choice for me would be – to put it bluntly – to kill myself. Then the house could be sold and the funds used to place my parents in permanent residential care. I am in the way; I am an impediment. But I am too much a coward to do so, and I really don’t want to die.

I again watched the NHK documentary about hikikomori, Dying Out of Sight: Hikikomori in an Aging Japan (17/12/2024 entry – note that it was “broadcast on January 17, 2021 / Available until January 1, 2026”). Some of those featured in it are (or were) in a very similar situation to mine, cultural differences aside. It is painful and poignant to watch.

I can think of one reason hikis don’t seek help: extreme inertia. A reluctance to venture out of one’s comfort zone. Speaking from my own situation, it is extremely difficult to motivate oneself.

April

Tuesday 1/4: Ticket inspectors

To Southland SC this morning by 627 bus and train, then straight to Chadstone SC by 822 bus, so a long morning out! Myki card ticket inspectors boarded the 822 bus en route (I always have my Myki card and concession card with me, and don’t fare-evade), but a woman behind me got into trouble with them when she apparently had not touched on, and became defensive and argumentative when confronted by the inspectors. A lengthy verbal confrontation ensued – the woman only compounding her situation by being so hostile – so she is presumably in much more legal trouble now than she might initially have been.

Wednesday 2/4: NDIS call; BHN call; parents staying in respite until 18/4; upcoming elections

A quiet and calm sunny morning. Just walked to Bentleigh and back. The return of my parents in a day or so overshadows any tranquility I might feel.

A woman from the NDIS rang (she tried to last week but I missed the call), but only to reiterate what the rejection letter they sent me said (28/3 entry).

Jodi from Better Health Network rang and told me a counsellor will ring me in the next couple of days to make an appointment and talk about my situation. So I can hopefully have help as to where I can go from my situation (literally and metaphorically). Transport is the usual sticking point due to my not being able to drive.

My sister messaged me and told me my parents are staying in respite until 18/4, so that is a bit of a reprieve for me, at least.

Mum and Dad will be staying until Easter at this stage – 18th April.

Mum’s case manager, Linda and her coordinator will be calling me tomorrow sometime to work through understanding how respite and permanent care work and options. I’ve handed in documents you completed along with Dad and Mum’s yesterday at Wagga’s Services Australia. This could taken 14 days to hear back. Not sure what else as there’s many things to consider and I need some guidance.

Dad called me and said Mum’s restless and repeatedly asking him when they’re going home. He’s not sure how to handle her behaviour. I’ve suggested he discuss with the nursing staff as they’re used to this and can give advice and support. Mum’s definitely declining with her cognition. Dad said she’s verbalising for him to not leave her – as though she’s fearful of being abandoned.

All of this is exhausting for Dad – he retreated into his room to call me. It indicates Dad is finding her behaviour difficult to deal with and this is with the support in care.

The Australian federal election date was called on 28/3, to be held on Saturday 3/5. It will be the main focus of the national media until then. I am just apathetic towards the event, as I am to other world events – I obviously have much more immediate and personal concerns.

Thursday 3/4: Dentist appointment made; plans for my immediate future

To Southland SC this morning. Made an appointment with Team Dental there for 1:30 p.m. on Saturday 5/4, which as usual I am not looking forward to. My last appointment was on 27/11/2023 so I am very overdue, but have been occupied with my ailing parents. A basic checkup and clean will cost $180 and they will want x-rays, which is an extra cost that I really don’t want to incur, not to mention even more for possible cavities. Of course I don’t have private health insurance, as that is prohibitively expensive.

Just had an online Microsoft Teams video chat with Sue the community nurse about my options; one suggested is to volunteer at the Better Health Network for a few hours each week. I might give it a go, with some trepidation, though interrupting my daily routine is a bit upsetting.

Friday 4/4: A melancholy gloom; no comfort at home; school in the USA

A quiet day that was dull and overcast and rather cold, and my mood matches this. Feeling melancholy, realizing that my life will never return to what it was. My immediate future is a complete unknown, and that hangs over my head like a dark storm cloud.

Someone just posted on r/Melbourne, “Severe seasonal depression kicking in.” So perhaps I am feeling a bit of SAD also.

I have literally lived in this same house all my life so far, which seems to be an anamoly these days, when most people will have moved at least once during their lives. But my life here is unsustainable now, in an old and deteriorating house and never-ending utility and other bills to pay. It is not a safe place for my ailing elderly parents. It has been a place of great stress, discomfort and unhappiness in the last few years especially, and if and when I move out I will not miss it, only the memories of my old life here and the relatives who are now gone or who live far away.

One of my comfort-read sites of the people on the Internet that I frequently visit is “SwankIVY’s” (18/1 entry). I have mentioned my fascination with ordinary American life; one such aspect is their school system (12/3 entry) – what would have it been like to attend one there, rather than Kilvington here in Australia (again, the only school I attended from prep to a failed Year 12)? She has a page describing the schools she attended (and goes into much more detail in her life story).

Saturday 5/4: The dreaded dentist visit – decay watch and wait; Sequoia wallpaper bug workaround

Dentist today – ugh. Had a checkup, clean, and two x-rays done this time by Dr. Serene Erin Hong. A dismaying observation of two suspicious “watch and wait” possible decay spots on my lower (between №21 and 22) and upper right rear second molar (№7, I think). My teeth overlap a bit – are closely-spaced – and are thus difficult to floss between. I do floss after each meal and brush twice a day, so will have to be extra diligent. There is also the ongoing issue of gum recession, which I am prone to, but I’ve had this for many years now. The visit cost $257.40; they kindly gave me a little discount with me being a Health Care Card holder.

The sun was out today, which is a bit more cheering.

A minor but annoying bug in the recent Sequoia 15.4 update is only a white screen showing when a custom color is selected as desktop wallpaper. A suggested workaround is to download the wanted color from a site such as Colorkit. I prefer plain colors or gradients as I find landscapes, patterns, etc. too visually busy and distracting.

Sunday 6/4: Rang Dawn and Dad

Colder today with an unpleasant southerly wind; rain due later. I walked to East Bentleigh to the IGA supermarket and back. Daylight Savings ended at 3 a.m., so an extra hour in bed (not that I slept! I still arise early and go to bed early).

I rang Dawn Harbour, Mum’s elderly cousin (one of my maternal grandmother’s sister’s daughters, the next up in age from her – Clarise Mary “Aunty Day” – see my Family subsite).

I also rang Dad in respite at Caulfield Horizons and had a brief talk; he was mostly lucid but still convinced he and Mum will return home eventually and that they can cope (they can’t). I dropped the topic as it would only lead to another disagreement.

Monday 7/4: MPTP card arrived; optometrist appointment made; second fridge turned off

Had a mild headache overnight and into this morning. Into the third week of my parents being in respite care. They are well-looked after there, but it is not cheap (they do not have concessional beds) and the expenses are eating into their already-depleted savings.

My MPTP card arrived in the mail at last! (12/3 entry.)

Made an appointment for a long-overdue eye exam with Family Eyecare in Bentleigh, for tomorrow at 9:30 a.m.. Last time I went was on 1/3/2022.

Dad bought a second refrigerator in March 2020 – he intended to buy a chest freezer but these were in short supply due to pandemic-related panic buying as a way of storing food in preparation for shortages – so this freezer/fridge ended up being used for storing my food items. The freezer component was inadequate in size, to my annoyance. It occurred to me yesterday that I don’t need the extra fridge room with my parents absent, so I moved my food to the old refrigerator (the top freezer compartment is a bit more roomy) and turned the newer one off. Fridges use a lot of elecricity, so that will save some, I hope. I still would like a small chest freezer some day, anyway.

Tuesday 8/4: Optometrist visit; longest time alone

Another overcast, gloomy cold day.

Optometrist appointment today in Bentleigh, with James Baumgarten, whom I have been seeing there for decades now! My eyes are generally in good health, with only my right eye a little more near-sighted. I decided to indulge and get a new pair of glasses as my current ones are 10 years old! Paid $440 altogther for frames and glasses – ouch! – but they are nice lightweight titanium frames in a teal-green. However it will take two weeks at least for them to be ready.

This is the longest time I have been by myself without seeing my parents for … perhaps the first time in my life? I have adjusted – I am much less stressed without having to interact constantly with other people (and, especially, clean up after them)– but am hampered by my limited carless transport options (I am certainly getting in a lot of walking). I guess this is a sort of limbo, suspended time before the unpleasant reality of my new situation begins.

Wednesday 9/4: Annoying joggers; iMac keyboard works with MacBook Air

A quiet day. Sunny and pleasant. Took the 627 bus (which was not late, for once!) then Frankston line train to Southland SC this morning. Interrupted by a fire drill, which was annoying (everyone had to go outside), but a relatively short 15 minutes or so.

Joggers/runners are one of my current irritants (19/3 entry); they seem to be everywhere and to me such an activity is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and an unneccessary expenditure of energy (17/1 entry).

I plugged in the old strawberry iMac keyboard that I found in Dad’s shed, along with the mouse (16/1 entry). Amazingly, it still works! I just used the USB-A to USB-C adapter dongle for the wired connection, and I am typing with it now. It was manufactured in 1999 – 26 years ago! So I can use both as well as the modern bluetooth Magic keyboard and mouse.

Thursday 10/4: Counsellor visited; USA is not a fascist dictatorship

Weather warming up! I took more books down to Bentleigh to donate to a charity shop. Just four books, but big, heavy volumes that must have weighed around 10 kg or total. An exhausting walk hauling them there. Books are such a pain to get rid of.

Saw a counsellor at 11 a.m. at Better Health Network in East Bentleigh, Hai Tran (I think that’s her last name – she is from Vietnam). Began a bit awkwardly with me struggling to explain my situation, but she was quite nice and I became more at ease with her as the session progressed. Another appointment for the same day and time next week. Will this help me? It is up to me, but it is such a struggle to overcome my inertia and reluctance to try anything new. Not too difficult to get there and back, at least; the 822 bus stops near Moorabbin Hospital.

Came across a subReddit, r/AmeriExit (American Exit). Full of panicked Americans wanting to “flee” because they are convinced their nation is falling apart. A typical sentiment: “There is so much hate and division. The purposeful disinformation is active warfare on The People. MAGA are relentlessly cruel. We are officially in a fascist dictatorship since the administration can ignore the rule of law and SCOTUS supports them in doing so. If you don’t see those things and understand them, then you are unprepared for what’s to come.” (Awkward_News8770) Yes, some are that deluded! As I have previously said 18/2 entry), the USA’s democratic structure is resilient, and the current hysteria is amplified by some sections of the media and online websites. (Also see 2/2 entry.)

Friday 11/4: Another load to a charity shop; sister here

Warm and sunny; a few days of late-season warm weather forecast.

Another heavy load of books trundled to a Bentleigh charity shop this morning. My poor shopping cart is getting a lot of use and wear! I just wish that professional declutterers could be hired to clear away the awful hoarded piles of junk in Dad’s shed and in the house.

My sister drove down to Melbourne from Wagga Wagga yesterday for more tasks involving my parents and their immediate future.

Saturday 12/4: Parents placed; others abandoning Apple

My sister drove me to Southland SC this morning and we had a coffee there, which was pleasant.

A place for my parents has been found at Camberwell Gables, at least for the time being. Aged care placements for a couple are scarce, so my sister had to take this when the opportunity came up. It is very far away from me here, though – but Riversdale Station is not too far from the facility, and via a convoluted train line route I could get a train there and back (actually, two train changes: Frankston line to Richmond Station → Lilydale line train to Camberwell Station → Alamein line train and alight at Riversdale Station).

I have previously mentioned my dismay at various online people whom I visit abandoning Apple (19/2 entry) for political reasons when I only just left Windows for MacOS last year (from late October – 14/10/2024 entry), one being Denny Henke (26/2, 24/3 entries). He updated his “Uses” page for March 2025 with the opening paragraph: “I made some significant and unplanned changes in February. While I still own and will continue to use the previously listed hardware I’m no longer using Apple’s iCloud services and will no longer purchase Apple hardware in the future. Nor will I recommend Apple services or hardware.”

Sunday 13/4: No sleep

Another sleepless night; could not turn my brain off. Actually got up around 12:30 a.m. and did a few tasks – namely, clearing out my parents’ perishable food from the refrigerator as they will not be coming home and it is past its use-by date. Best aspect of being by myself is that I can do what I want, when I want.

Monday 14/4: Headache; shredding; joined ChatGPT

Had a bad headache overnight, though not a migraine. Faded away during the morning.

Am shredding decades’ worth of bank statements, bills, etc. that Dad has kept. Another tedious chore resulting in a lot of shredded paper to be disposed of gradually.

I signed up with ChatGPT (free account). Asked it to create an image: “Create image: I would like an image of Steve Jobs, in his black turtleneck sweater, holding an apple that has the rainbow colors of the Apple company. He is facing the viewer. Behind him is a sunny blue sky.” The result was quite serviceable!

Tuesday 15/4: Parents moved; the looming threat of homelessness

To Chadstone SC by bus.

My parents have been transferred to Camberwell Gables.

Of increasingly pertinent relevance to me, a couple of recent articles on how perilously easy it is to become homeless, even for those who have been in previously-successful careers: “Free camping grounds a haven for ‘more people than ever’ sleeping rough,” ABC News, 14/4; “I’m a 64-year-old finance professional … and I’m homeless,” The Age, 14/4. “I am 64 years old. I am a qualified and experienced finance professional. And I am, by definition, homeless. At the time of writing, I am temporarily staying with friends. But that situation is about to run out. Next, I will fall into the most brutal category of homelessness. That means sleeping on the street. […] I’m on the priority waitlist for social housing. That label – ‘priority’ – might suggest urgency. But even with that status, I’ve been told the wait is at least 18 months. […] After exhausting every housing option, after submitting job application after job application, this may soon become my only choice: do I die with dignity, by my own hand, or do I allow circumstance to dictate a slow, degrading death in a public space?”

Wednesday 16/4: New glasses; farewell to Mazda 626

Collected my new glasses today! (8/4 entry.) Unexpectedly early, but not unwelcome. The frames are titanium, a teal-green color (similar to my iPhone 16!). They are very lightweight.

Dad’s now-old Mazda 626 sedan (sixth generation) (bought in 2000) was towed away by a wrecker this afternoon for scrap and parts. Only got $200 for it, as expected. Sad to see it go, as it has travelled thousands of kilometers and generally been a good car.

Thursday 17/4: Easter disruption; saw counsellor again; BHH volunteer application; another car-hater

Easter holiday weekend from tomorrow until Monday. An annoying disruption in my view, as a lot of essential services close.

Second appointment with Hai Tran (her title is Provisional Psychologist) today (10/4 entry). Some interesting insights from a psychology assessment test she sent me. A better conversation today, though I still struggle to remember some things from earlier in my life, and to express myself. Seeing her again next Thursday.

With much trepidation, applied for a volunteer position at Better Health Network – “administration/office/researching events type of volunteer work.” Not sure if I will cope with it or not.

One online blogger whom I visit sometimes, Ruben Schade of Rubenerd, is vehemently anti-car. Seems to be a typical mindset amongst some younger people – most of whom would, presumably, be fit-bodied and living near to plentiful public transport options. It is a privileged viewpoint as cars are essential and much more convenient for many people. Public transport is limited in reach, and one is constrained by its schedules. It is also difficult for elderly and disabled to access (try getting on or off a bus – this can be extremely difficult). And don’t get me started about the attitude that almost everyone should be riding bicycles! In inclement weather, both public transport and cycling are forms of torture: becoming extremely cold or hot, having to struggle against a headwind, and getting soaked through when raining.

Friday 18/4: Visited parents; Sequoia wallpaper bug fixed; still have iPod Nano Gen 5

Good Friday, so almost no shops open. A warm day forecast, but rain coming from late Saturday, unfortunately.

My sister and her husband (who drove down here from Wagga Wagga on Thursday) took me along when they went to visit my parents at Camberwell Gables. Dad was very glad to see me, as was Mum (when she woke up – she and Dad sleep a lot, as elderly people tend to). It has been nearly a month since I last saw them (15/3 entry), the longest I have ever been separated from them. They looked better; they are properly looked after now, in more comfortable surroundings. I don’t know how often I will be able to visit them, given the convoluted train journey to get there (12/4 entry).

The Sequoia custom color wallpaper bug (5/4 entry) seems to have been fixed in the latest update (15.4.1)!

Back on 31/12/2017, I briefly mentioned a blue iPod Nano (generation 5) that Dad had put away for a few years and gave to me; I still have it! And it still works. Apple has an iPod support page in its Documentation section.

Saturday 19/4: To Chadstone; Centrelink appointment

I took the bus to Chadstone SC this morning. Only good aspect of this Easter long weekend is that many people have gone away on holiday, so the roads are a lot quieter.

Have an appointment with Centrelink at their Cheltenham office on Tuesday. Surprisingly got a phone call from there today regarding a document I uploaded, and the man suggested I make that appointment. Will have a lot of dealings with them in the next few months, I think.

I am very apprehensive about my future, and mourning the loss of my previous life and routine, and that of my parents. Dad will no longer be driving (he will have his licence revoked). We will never go to Southland again on daily morning outings. Looking further back, we will never go on long daytrips by car around the countryside outside of Melbourne; I miss this from my childhood and teenage years.

Sunday 20/4: Quiet; Macworld nostalgia

A quiet morning. Some light rain intervals.

iJustine uploaded a recent video, “41 year old MacWorld Magazine! A piece of Apple history!” A nostalgic look at the 1984 premier edition, which she has a well-preserved copy of. The VintageApple.org website has a Macworld page with that edition uploaded in PDF, so it’s worth a look! I would have been 13 then, but my family were not into computers at all, and Dad was only a “Mac person” for a short time with his strawberry iMac G3 (1/11/2024 entry).

Monday 21/4: Sister departed; stale Apple needs a refresh; screenshots of my devices’ current home screens

My sister and her husband departed this morning for the long drive back to Wagga Wagga. They are driving down here again next weekend (Anzac Day long weekend).

“What’s Wrong With Apple?,” Tripp Mickle for the NYT, 11/4. An overview of the increasingly moribund atmosphere surrounding Apple, especially as it seems to have fallen behind other companies in successfully implementing AI. “The company’s issues underscored how its reputation for innovation, once considered a fundamental element of its brand, has become an albatross, fueling angst among employees and frustration among customers. And company insiders worry that Apple, despite its years of gravity-defying profits, is hamstrung by the political infighting, penny pinching and talent drain that often bedevil large companies, according to more than a dozen former and current employees and advisers.” A not-uncommon problem that can affect companies that grow big and cumbersome. Again reiterating the opinion that Apple has lost its way since the untimely death of Steve Jobs. A top-rated comment from that article: “The ingenuity of Apple died with Steve Jobs :-( Also gone is their mission to be a computer ‘for the people,’ as they continually create devices that are increasingly more expensive, with each upgrade requiring new cables, chargers, etc. They also now offer varying levels of the products they design, creating a caste system of the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots.’ I am a die-hard Apple fan and have been loyal to their products since 1987, but it’s discouraging to see that they’ve lost their creative edge and their original reason for being. Steve Jobs could always see the future and create something new and daring. Now, they only improve upon existing devices – no inspiration. But I will never change course, as their products have always been superior to any other company’s.”

For myself, I would like Apple to stop farfing around with all these distracting side projects and laser-focus back on its core products: its computing hardware (laptops, desktops, iPad, iPhone) and refine and debug its current operating software for each of these. And reduce the absurd and confusing variations of each device as Steve Jobs once did: “The NeXT acquisition was finalized on February 9, 1997, and the board brought Jobs back to Apple as an advisor. On July 9, 1997, Jobs staged a boardroom coup that resulted in Amelio’s resignation after overseeing a three-year record-low stock price and crippling financial losses. The board named Jobs as interim CEO and he immediately reviewed the product lineup. Jobs canceled 70% of models, ending 3,000 jobs and paring to the core of its computer offerings.” And from the linked article:

Fresh off a partnership deal with Microsoft that injected Apple with $150 million, one of Jobs’ first goals as CEO was to review the company’s sprawling product line. What he found out was that Apple had been producing multiple versions of the same product to satisfy requests from retailers. For instance, the company was selling a dozen varied versions of the Macintosh computer.

Unable to explain why so many products were necessary, Jobs asked his team of top managers, “Which ones do I tell my friends to buy?” When he didn’t get a simple answer, Jobs got to work reducing the number of Apple products by 70 percent. Among the casualties was the Newton digital personal assistant. Unfortunately, the cut-backs also resulted, in part, in a workforce reduction of about 3,000 employees.

“Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do,” Jobs says in the book. “It’s true for companies, and it’s true for products.”

Just took screenshots of the current home screens of my MacBook Air, iPad and iPhone. I have matched a plain background color to the color of each device, and chosen monotone icons for the iPad and iPhone, which I find restful on my eyes.

Tuesday 22/4: Centrelink appointment; scorched earth decluttering

Visited Centrelink service centre in Cheltenham. The lady whom I saw confirmed I was doing the correct action in applying for the Jobseeker Payment. I have a phonecall appointment with Centrelink next Monday regarding the application, so I hope that will be successful.

An exasperated fiancé posted “Fed up. Going to get rid of his crap.” in r/minimalism. She got castigated by some commenters, but I feel the same way with all my parents’ decades’ worth of stuff and clutter – I just want to purge nearly all of it. I do like the phrase “scorched earth approach” – that is very much my method! One has to be ruthless when purging – if an item has not been used in years or decades, out it goes.

Wednesday 23/4: Train ride to see parents

Had a mild headache early this morning. A fine sunny Autumn day, but several days of rain forecast from late tomorrow, unfortunately.

This week is a short working week, with the Easter break just passed, but Anzac Day holiday this Friday. A bit annoying when one has various tasks to do.

Took the bus to Chadstone SC and back. Then after lunch I took the train (or three trains, changing stations twice – 12/4 entry) to visit my parents, as a trial run; I made it there and back! About 45 minutes each way. My parents were quite glad to see me. They look very frail now, and are still under the illusion that they will return home eventually. I was quite tired when I arrived back home, but I now know the route.

Thursday 24/4: Counsellor session

Sunny and windy today, but rain is coming, sadly. My sister and her husband driving to Melbourne from Wagga Wagga tomorrow for this long weekend.

Saw the Better Health Network counsellor, Hai Tran, today (previously on 17/4). Did an interesting exercise that involved visualizing a scenario with a young girl standing in an ash-covered village, and myself answering to guiding prompts as to what happened next. Hai told me it had been generated by ChatGPT with Dungeons & Dragons as a starting point, then refined by her! (I don’t have any concerns about AI creative input and regard it as a helpful tool.) My imagination has atrophied (like the rest of me, mentally and physically) so I struggled in replying with some of the prompts.

Friday 25/4: Facebook catchup; John the swagman still on the road

A very quiet morning for the Anzac Day holiday. I visited my Facebook and Twitter/X profiles for the first time in a few months; not missing much in either place. I only retain my Facebook account as there are a few friends and relatives who have accounts there. I did a brief post about my current situation; got a surprise phone call from a friend there about this, which was nice.

While browsing my few Facebook groups I looked at The Highway Man: A: Grant Johns journey. The original page. and he is still wandering the country roads! (Previously: 4/7/2023 entry.) “He tends to stick around SE QLD & lower Queensland now. He used to travel up to To Sunshine Coast to visit his father.” A lot of people look out for him via social media posts. His is a difficult and uncomfortable life, but he is not tied down by bills and all the other encumberances of modern life. He is getting quite old now; he was 49 in 2009 so would be 65 now (he has been on the road since 1977!). Will he be able to keep wandering as he ages? Perhaps he will wish to end his days on the road, lying down quietly somewhere to pass on, rather than trapped in a nursing home (I am sure he would feel confined and imprisoned in such a place). Below, an article from a country newspaper published earlier this year:

Swaggie passes through St. Arnaud and touches our hearts

North Central News, 26/2/2025

WHO AM I?

My family lives in Ballarat, but I hail from nowhere in particular. The stars are my roof and my walls are extensive.

I don’t use social media but I am big on it.

My first name is Grant but everyone calls me John, my middle name.

I passed through St. Arnaud last weekend.

I have made the highways and tracks throughout Australia my home for over 40 years.

I am John the Jolly Swagman.

GRANT John Cadoret was sighted by a local in Avoca resting and then again in Stuart Mill having a break before he was caught up by many locals offering him food and drink as the day was quickly warming on Saturday.

Ian ‘Macca’ McNamara from the ABC interviewed John some years ago and he and John talked about his contentment.

“I get out on the good long stretch of road and get a bit of pace up.

“The wind around me, the sun on me fantastic.

“Real peace.

“I’ve been called a swagman.

“I’ve been called a lot of things, some not very polite.

“Me? I’m just a wanderer. I’m me.”

A writer Allan Nixon came across John in 2009 and told his story to the world; the young man who worked in a bank and decided it was not the life for him and began a life on the highways of this country as a swagman.

There was a period of three months where John abandoned his road travels to take care of his dying father. That was in 2008, and when his father’s time was up John packed his ‘bags’ (or backpacks) and took to the road again.

Image: Above: North Central News caught up with John just outside St. Arnaud on the Charlton road where he was resting, reading a book, to pass away the hours of heat on Saturday.

But before that time in 2008 John was reunited with his family who had taken out a missing person’s report when he first went on the road in 1977.

After his 21st birthday John joined the bank and stuck with that for five years.

John told Allan Nixon how he felt during those years.

“I looked around and said ‘I can’t be bothered doing this for another 20 years.’

“And I couldn’t see myself sticking to a bank anyway.”

John knew he didn’t want the lifestyle he had and although he didn’t know what he exactly wanted, he moved on.

Although the wandering was going only to be for 3 months, and that is what he told his mother, he said to Alan Nixon that ‘things just didn’t work out.’

What that really means, we don’t know but he just wandered around and finally dropped a line to his family saying ‘I am still alive.’

That was in 1996, after nearly twenty years of wandering.

It wasn’t till 2002 that John was found by Allan Nixon who tracked down his family and had a tearful reunion with his mother and sister in Shepparton.

Without any social security, no job, and no support from another except for the occasional pair of boots that he receives from various companies.

His regrets are limited to the pain he caused his mother, but he will keep wandering and as the story of the swaggie has a special place in our romanticized history of this country we will continue to be intrigued by the tales of John and others that roam our country.

Saturday 26/4: Quiet day

Rain from late yesterday afternoon into today – yuck.

My sister and her husband called in for a short time this morning. Still sorting and shredding old bills and similar. I just stayed at home for the rest of the day, like yesterday.

Sunday 27/4: Sister gone; Minimalism documentary

My sister and her husband departed for the 5-hour drive home to Wagga Wagga; they wanted to leave early so they did not call in to see me. I spent the morning doing a little more sorting and tidying. A quiet day of solitude otherwise. Gloomy and overcast, which depresses my mood even more than usual.

Watched MINIMALISM: Official Netflix Documentary. To me it seems a bit ironic that in a society of plenty, some are deliberately choosing to live with less , while in an impoverished society (or for one less well off in a society of plenty) such minimalism is by necessity, not a lifestyle choice. Still, it emphasizes how unsustainably dependent society is on people buying a lot os useless stuff to keep functioning.

Monday 28/4: Jobseeker claim rejected (again)

The cold mornings are starting to bite; some single-digit mornings forecast for later this week. Cloudy and dull again.

I am sleeping a little bit better (though I still wake around 1 a.m.!). I am arising a little later; around 4:30 a.m. rather than the ridiculously early time when my parents were at home.

The phone call appointment with Centrelink took place today. The lady who spoke to me (who was quite nice and helpful) asked a few questions. She then rang again a bit later saying that my current Jobseeker payment claim will be rejected as I am still on the Carer Payment (and it has been; received a message in my Centrelink account). The latter continues until 22 July. There is no point applying for JS until around a week before the CP ends (an early claim — “When you start an early claim for JobSeeker Payment, you can save and see your claim in your Centrelink online account through myGov. You can save your early claim but can’t submit it until 14 days before your circumstances change”). I will need to redo the JS claim online — but select the menu option for a change of circumstance claim — a transitional claim. Alternately, Google Search for Services Australia and book a phone appointment at the Centrelink office. So I have some “breathing room” until that task.

Tuesday 29/4: New iPad; visited parents; another Centrelink phonecall

A grey, gloomy day with some rain.

I traded in my iPad 10 for the updated 11/A16 iPad today! I have been considering doing this since the new basic iPad was released earlier this year, and decided to while the trade-in value is still reasonable, and to avoid possible tariff-related price increases. Took the 822 bus to Southland SC this morning and did the trade-in and purchase at the Apple store there. The current iPad refresh is incremental (A16 chip), but the 10 was released in 2022, so I figured I might as well upgrade (I traded for the iPad 10 on 5/11/2023). I got the same storage (256 GB) and color (blue).

Took the train (well, three trains) to visit my parents today! (Previous visit: 23/4.) They were quite happy to see me (and I, them). Dad said they were slowly getting used to being there. They are certainly more comfortable (and warm) there, and are looked after by trained staff with the facilities to accommodate elderly people. I left before 12:00 and got back home after 3:00. I will try to visit once a week.

I do like the environment of the Camerwell streets and suburbs where Camberwell Gables is located: 1920s and 1930s-era old houses, big deciduous street trees (all shedding leaves as Autumn progresses), little secret laneways between rows of houses. The suburb where my maternal grandmother lived (Gardenvale and Elsternwick) has a similar atmosphere.

Got another phone call from Centrelink while on the train, this one from a different department, but it was just to clarify that I was no longer a carer, but my Carer Payment will continue until early July, before which I need to apply for the Jobseeker payment (28/4 entry).

Wednesday 30/4: iPad 10 AppleCare refunded

Colder this morning, with the next few mornings into the single digits. The house is perpetually cold, even more so than outside, sometimes. At least the sun came out today. I took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC this moring, though it was something of a pointless journey.

Called Apple Support on 1300321456 to get a refund for my remaining two-year AppleCare on my traded-in iPad 10 (29/4 entry). It expires this November, so the amount was only $27.15 – but it is something! I did this previously for my traded-in iPhone 15 also.

May

Thursday 1/5: Cold morning; counsellor session

A chilly morning which only the loungeroom gas heater makes somewhat bearable. A fine sunny day at least.

Saw the counsellor Hai Tran at Better Health Network in East Bentleigh this morning (previous session: 24/4 entry).

Friday 2/5: Telehealth call with Dr. Zhang; rang Dad; sister married 33 years

Another chilly morning and a fine sunny day. I took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC again this moring.

Telehealth phone call from Dr. Alison Zhang this morning. She said there are no public psychiatrists available, so I would have to see one in the private sector if I wanted – but they are prohibitively expensive, so that is a no-go for me. I will keep seeing Hai Tran at Better Health Network instead.

Phoned Dad at Camberwell Gables; arranged a suitable time if either of us wants to phone the other during the week. I look forward to speaking with, or seeing them now!

My sister and her husband marked 33 years of marriage today! Unbelievable how quickly those years have gone.

Saturday 3/5: Federal Election Day; now iPad-less

Federal Election voting today! I voted early this morning; walked up to the nearby St John’s Church Hall serving as a polling place, only around 10 minutes away. I wanted to get there on opening at 8 a.m. in hopes it would not be too busy – as did most of the neighborhood, it seemed! Took around 40 minutes or so to be processed and then vote. I voted for progressive parties (Labor, Greens) and put the unpleasant Conservative-orientated parties last (Liberals). I don’t agree with all the progressive policies, but they are generally kinder to the less-well-off than the harsh stance of the Conservatives.

I returned the iPad I bought last Tuesday (29/4 entry) as, between my iPhone 16 and MacBook Air M3, the iPad felt redundant. So I will see how I go without it. This will be the first time I have been without an iPad in over a decade. One less device to recharge and pay AppleCare for, at least. I am now reduced to just two electronic computing devices – minimizing even further – in contrast to the several I used to have (desktop PC and old iPad 2). I am almost down to iPhone as only computer (19/3 entry); also a MacRumors post: iPhone as main device. However I still need my laptop for more complex tasks such as maintaining my website.

Sunday 4/5: A welcome victory; new iPhone case

Labor won the Federal Election, so much relief. The issues I am concerned with include cost of living, affordable and available public housing, aged care and welfare issues generally.

Bought another case for my iPhone 16, an Apple silicone case in Aquamarine. I tried the OtterBox Lumen Series Case with MagSafe for iPhone 16 – Green but found it to be very stiff and almost impossible to take on or off, so, fearful of damaging my iPhone in the process, returned it and exchanged it for the Apple one (which was easy to put on).

Monday 5/5: Bad migraine; iPad-less or not?

Had a severe migraine overnight and into this morning – with two episodes of dry heaving – so I am quite debilitated. I could barely force myself to do my chores, and got up later (5 a.m.) than I usually do, and didn’t manage to summon the strength to get breakfast until 8 a.m.. Was moaning and groaning with pain. These migraines are rare and random, with no obvious trigger.

I was intending to visit my parents today, but the migraine cancelled that plan, so I hope to do that another day this week. I was slowly recovering around 12:00 onwards, but did not go out anywhere today. I felt mostly back to normal in the afternoon, but that episode was brutal.

I am having second thoughts (surprise! :-S) about doing without an iPad (3/5 entry); I do miss being able to use it in bed as the iPhone is perhaps a bit too small for prolonged viewing this way. I will wait for the current refund for the one I returned to go through before rebuying the iPad 11/A16, though, if I decide on this. I have considered the iPad Air but this is $400 more – though it does have Apple Intelligence, which the base model doesn’t – but again can’t really justify it for that.

Tuesday 6/5: Recovered from migraine; flu vax; visited parents; Apple fan turned hater; ugly iPhone 17 design

Feeling much better this morning! Fine but windy day.

I had this year’s influenza vaccine Afluria 2025 under 65 general and Covid booster done at the local chemist, so I may feel side-effects from that for a day or so. (Previous vax: 10/5/2024.)

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables this afternoon, with two 45-minute train journeys either way. I am getting used to the route now, but it is a tiring afternoon outing. I transferred the AGL gas and electricity account from Dad’s name to mine by phone while I was there, but I am not very happy about this and am not sure what I have signed up for. They were happy to see me, though I did not stay long today.

“Are Apple Enthusiasts Miserable?,” Beardy Guy Musings (previously: 24/3 entry). Denny Henke is really disillusioned with Apple, sadly: “I write this post as a former Apple enthusiast, a 30+ year user of Apple computers and devices.” He is now fully into the Linux “cult” instead. And Linux fanatics are extremely irritating and get angrily defensive – Kev Quirk has some posts on that issue: “This Is What’s Wrong With The Linux Community,” 20/11/2021; “Linux Elitism … Again,” 14/4/2024.

He got some kickback on his related Mastodon post (and that social network is still very confusing to me – have to sign up again every time if you want to join a different server?). “@dennyhenke: I’m an Apple enthusiast, and I’m not miserable. Sure, the brand seems tarnished these days, but the dream of innovation and improving the human experience through tech remains. I’m writing this post in Ivory for mac OS on a 14″ MacBook Pro with a 50″ 3360×1440 display connected. OK, that display is a virtual window on the Apple Vision Pro, but you get the idea. I lived through Apple’s ‘death spiral’ in the 1990s. I can live through Apple’s too-big-for-their-own-good success period without being miserable.” (@felyashono)

The currently-speculative design of the iPhone 17 due to be released this September is, in a word, horrible. A very ugly horizontal pill-shaped camera bump extends the full width along the top in the design renders, it protrudes and completely spoils the aesthetics of the phone. As some have said, it would be better to make the iPhone depth thicker and be rid of that bump, as well as enable a thicker battery and thus better battery life. Steve Jobs would not approve of what the iPhone looks like now, I’m sure.

Wednesday 7/5: I have an iPad again; saw counsellor

Was feeling a bit off-color overnight due to yesterday’s vaccination (6/5 entry). A sore left arm also, at the injection sites.

I have an iPad again! (3/5 entry.) The A16 iPad Wi-Fi 256GB — Blue as before; the only relatively affordable option for me (the Air looked appealing but is $1,199.00 for similar specs). I am trying the option to restore from a backup on my MacBook Air (have to download a software update then restore); if that doesn’t work I will reset and do the iCloud restore option. But I really did miss having an iPad!

Saw Hai Tran, the Better Health Network counsellor today (previously: 1/5 entry). The results of some online tests she gave me showed me as having autistic traits; something I suspected of myself, but good to see it confirmed. Unfortunately, to have the diagnosis officially confirmed is considerably expensive – she quoted $2000 for a formal diagnosis by another organization; much more than I can afford, so that option is out.

Dad rang me this afternoon; spoke to him for a while, which was nice.

Thursday 8/5: A day of phone calls

Got back in contact with Julie, the wife of one of my cousins (Mum’s late brother’s children); she used to work at East Bentleigh IGL supermarket and Mum and I would talk to her after driving home from Chadstone SC, but she moved to another suburb and we lost regular contact. Nice to talk/message to her!

Three phone calls to AGL to sort out setting up my account there and loggin in – the phone assistant lady whom I called on Tuesday to transfer the account to my name (6/5 entry) had misspelled my email address. So that has been sorted out and I now have an online account there (Dad didn’t). Am dreading the oncoming bills though.

Dad phoned this afternoon; had a nice talk. I might try to visit them at Camberwell Gables again tomorrow if no other obligations arise.

“Adulting” is so mentally and physically tiring – I can see why many people have little or no time for leisure or creative pursuits. I certainly don’t.

Friday 9/5: Visited parents again; trouble with accents; Taglish

Visited my parents by train again this afternoon (leaving just after 11 a.m., but still did not get home until 3 p.m. – a 50-minute journey each way). They got roped into a BBQ lunch downstairs so I waited a ½-hour upstairs in Dad’s room then only had another ½-hour with them before I had to leave. Unfortunately they are still convinced their stay at Camberwell Gables is temporary and that they will return home at some stage. I just try to change the topic. Dad gets very restless and irritable with his situation.

I was thinking that if my parents’ house was in better shape, I could take in a boarder to help offset some costs – but as it is in very poor condition, having anyone else living here would be a cruel and unusual punishment for them!

Another issue with the phone calls to the AGL helpline yesterday (8/5 entry) is that the call center operators are overseas (“AGL’s main call centres are located in Adelaide and Melbourne, with additional support based in India and the Philippines.” Canstar) and the accents can be hard to understand. The ladies who answered were friendly and helpful, but I could not always understand them due to the strong accents. I don’t have any problems with the call center location and nationalities otherwise, as long as I can get the help I need!

Relatedly, I seem to have been visiting r/Philippines_Expats frequently, out of simple curiosity! The country is another destination for Western retirees and expats, though it is still a developing nation with the issues that can entail. An interesting linguistic point I have noticed is that in the subReddits with posts by Filipinos themselves (r/adultingph is an odd current favorite) that they speak/write in a mixture of Taglish, a mixture of English and Tagalog, so that words from both languages get used in sentences (code-switching/mixing).

Saturday 10/5: Apple Pencil redux; a dangerous addiction; iJustine and 20 years of YouTube

A chilly morning followed by a lovely sunny day. Took the 822 bus to Southland SC and back. Bought (actually re-bought; I sold my previous one to CeX last Sunday when I though I had finished owning an iPad) the Apple Pencil (1st generation) as it – unlike the more recent and only other iPad A16-compatible pencil, the AP (USB-C) – has pressure sensitivity for drawing (the USB-C annoyingly does not). The Apple Pencil Pro is not compatible with the basic iPad, and is much more expensive anyway. Ugh, so confusing. So I had to buy the original Pencil (again!) with the now-outdated Lightning connector.

“Time is Money, Friend,” Netizen, 4/9/2024. A reflection upon a destructive addiction – to World of Warcraft, which seems to be a particularly “dangerous” game in that respect. If I were interested in gaming I would likely end up similarly addicted; thankfully I am not.

“20 years of YouTube: In 2007, we all empathized with iJustine and her 300-page iPhone bill,” Tubefilter, 7/5. Am reading iJustine’s autobiography again and it is a wistful exercise in nostalgia, when social media had not been demonized like it is now, and the Internet generally seemed more fun. (Previous mentions: 2/1; 20/4 entries.)

Sunday 11/5: Another iPad swap

Well, with some embarrassment I have to admit I changed my mind again and exchanged my iPad A16 (bought 7/5) for an iPad Air 11″ 256 GB WiFi blue model! By all accounts it is a better buy than the base A16, though not as good as the even pricer Pro models (which start at $1,699 – just “no” for me, unfortunately; I have stretched my finances enough). The Air’s blue color is a more muted shade than the base iPad’s; more of a silver-blue.

Despite some minor differences of opinion, there’s a clear consensus in the iPad Air M3 reviews – all reviewers think it’s a fine mid-range tablet if a slightly boring, incremental upgrade.

The new Air may also potentially be caught in between two stools. The refreshed base iPad remains better value for those who simply want an Apple tablet (and don’t care about Apple Intelligence), while the cost of the iPad Air M3 configurations can mount to the point where the iPad Pro M4 might be the better bet (particularly if you need a 13-inch screen).

The main reasons for picking an iPad Air over the base iPad are its M3 chip and Apple Pencil Pro compatibility. The iPad Pro M3, meanwhile, offers a much better OLED display, an M4 chip, Face ID, a Lidar sensor, and better speakers.

But most reviews also concluded that, if the latter aren’t important to you, the new Air remains a fine tablet, with the 11-inch model being the sweet spot for size and price. “iPad Air M3 review roundup – should you buy Apple’s new mid-range tablet?” TechRadar, 12/3/2025

I also exchanged the Generation 1 Apple Pencil (bought 10/5) for the USB-C version, as the former does not work with the Air. The lack of pressure sensitivity on the USB-C Pencil is a minor issue; I do almost no drawing anyway. It is still useful for filling in forms, electronic signatures, general handwriting, etc..

Monday 12/5: Headache; visited parents; Apple paranoia silliness

A headache overnight and into this morning; an almost-migraine, but not as severe as the awful one I endured last Monday (5/5 entry). It had dispersed by late morning.

Took the train to visit my parents again! The journey went smoothly and the Autumn weather was perfect – mildly warm and sunny. Only had a little over an hour there before I had to take the 50-minute train journey home. I will visit in person once a week for the most part, but can always phone them (or Dad phone me if he can operate his iPhone correctly).

“The Real Apple,” Lou Plummer. “Today, after many years of being a devout user of Apple’s online services, going all the way back to the days of .Mac, I took steps to reduce the company’s access to my data in as many ways as possible.” Another former Apple fan on the path to disillusionment. Seems to be turning into a trend (10/5 entry), and it is getting absurdly paranoid. I still feel trust in Apple (though I am certainly not uncritical of some directions the company has taken), and so am not concerned about the personal data they might gather.

Tuesday 13/5: Bills barrage

A sunny day after a cold morning.

Utility bills have come in: $203.86 for AGL electricity (bimonthly); Glen Eira council rates, Installment 4: $432.80 (twice per year). AGL gas was $136.07 (also bimonthly). For me, NBN is $69 per month (Aussie Broadband, on the lowest tier) and Vodafone is $57.99 per month (the discount has ended for that). I visited Vodafone instore at Southland SC today to query the price rise, but was told the discount for my account had ended. I am also on the lowest tier. I still find mobile phone plans confusing; there is always a “catch” no matter what you choose. The cheaper options with some of the minor carriers are usually lacking in some respect. I use my mobile phone a lot now; it is an essential service, as is Internet access. Some people churn from one company to another every few months to take advantage of various (but temporary) deals, but for me that is added mental stress and exhaustion. Such is the dreary reality of “adulting.” I simply have no energy left for any creative pursuits now.

As I said in my 14/3 entry, Apple products (and the “cult” surrounding the company) are one of my very few sources of enjoyment now; devices both beautiful and useful.

Wednesday 14/5: Appointments

Another pleasant Autumn day; fine and sunny.

Missed my appointment with counsellor Hai Tran today due to an odd mix-up by a receptionist! Took the bus there as usual, but receptionist did not have a record of the appointment and told me Hai was not there today, so I walked home (not that far; about ½-hour). Then Hai rang me a bit later at home, telling me she had waited for me but I had not appeared! So made an appointment for next week.

Am also seeing a financial counsellor/Financial Capability worker, Romy Prins, meeting at Bentleigh library on Monday.

Dad phoned me on the walk back home and had a nice conversation.

Thursday 15/5: Vodafone 12-month contract; Apple Pencil Pro; more disillusioned Apple fans

For better or worse, I signed up with Vodafone for a Small Plus12-month SIMO Plan at $51.99 per month. I have been with the carrier since November 2021 (7/11/2021 entry) and have generally not had any issues or gripes (aside from the increasing prices every year!). My current monthly payment had increased to $57.99 per month, so the lower price is locked in for the next 12 months at least – assuming I have an income of some sort. If I break the contract during that period, I pay out the amount for whatever time remains.

A lot of people “shop around” for deals on carrier and Internet plans (and similarly for utility providers and banks), churning from one provider to another every few months once a special deal expires. I simply do not have the mental energy to engage in that, and for me it just adds more stress to a complex process.

Exchanged my Apple Pencil again for the Pro version with pressure sensitivity.

“Are developers falling out of love with Apple?,” Bruce Lawson, 14/5. Another post about the apparent disillusionment with Apple amongst former supporters. “After very nearly four years fighting Apple’s iOS monopoly, I’ve noticed a definite shift in the way that many developers regard Apple. When I first used to read comments on tech news reports of EU and UK attempts to regulate Apple, most were vehemently supportive of Apple’s closed ecosystem, App Store and lack of browser diversity. Now, most are disparaging. But the real sea-change has occurred in publications that have historically been very pro-Apple.”

Friday 16/5: iPad upgraded to cellular version

I, uh, exchanged my iPad Air for the cellular version :-*); just thought the cellular might be needed if I discontinued or was without the NBN connection, as a Vodafone add-on to my mobile plan. Will not sign up yet, though; it is a future option. The iPad is otherwise identical to the previous one (iPad Air M3, 256 GB, blue).

Chilly mornings ahead. The house is so cold; more so than outside at times. I feverently wish to be able to move to a dwelling that is properly insulated, warm and energy-efficient; one that is not deteriorating.

Saturday 17/5: Access USB drive on iPhone; no ambition; bouncing

Rain! Yuck. Not welcome. Makes going out very unpleasant, especially walking anywhere, so I probably won’t. I have to keep an eye on weather forecasts for a few days ahead and try to plan my outings accordingly.

TIL: I can plug a USB-C to USB-A adapter into my iPhone, plug a USB drive into the latter and access files on the USB drive! You open the Files app and the drive will be listed under “Locations.” Can also do this with an iPad. So my USB drives and SSDs are still accessible via this means. The adapter gets quite a lot of use.

“i have no ambition,” earendelmir, 10/1/2024. A post I had saved some time ago, but it describes my own outlook fairly accurately.

I want to live a simple life, quiet.

I want money to sustain myself without having to worry, but I don’t care about being rich. I want my own apartment, with white furniture from IKEA and many green plants, but I don’t care about living in a proper house, with a garden, a garage and all that. I want a job that is secure and that I can enjoy working at for rest of my life, but I don’t care about becoming ceo or leader or whatever.

I was never a competitive child either. I never cared for medals or being (one of) the best.

Problem is, I was the best, at school. And when you are good at school (without studying hard) they all expect great things from you. I expect great things from me – or … I don’t know, I guess I used to; now I just hope to get by.

I want quiet days, I want to pass through this life with as little fuss as possible.

It may be a waste. But how can ambition, and consequent struggle, be better than being content?

Most people won’t agree with me. Most people will be far more successful than me, some (of my peers) already are.

[…] Maybe my mind is just trying to protect my feelings from the inevitable defeat I will suffer in the game of life. After all, who doesn’t want a bigger house? a bigger paycheck? I am convincing myself that I don’t, so that I won’t feel bad when I won’t get it.

Or maybe, I am simply too scared of commitment; if I don’t work hard for something great, then I won’t be disappointed when it doesn’t come my way.

Now, all I have is guilt, which is better than disappointment because, when feeling guilty about myself and my actions, I can at least hope to make a change; when feeling disappointed, there’s no hope – it’s over.

A post from another blog that resonates with me: “My fluctuating interests,” Jan-Lukas Else, 7/6/2024. I have bounced from one obsession to another throughout my life; another reason I could never decide what I wanted to specialize in for a career. (Previous mentions of my “bouncing”: 19/6/2024; 3/8/2024 entries.)

It seems like my interests fluctuate a lot. I have a topic that interests me, do a lot of research, learn many new things, get excited. And then suddenly another topic pops up, which at the same time reduces my interest in the previous topics.

Am I just curious and my curiosity is simply sated after a while?

At the same time, I always feel the need to delve deep into research when something interests me. I am then almost obsessed with this topic. Occasionally, it doesn’t even leave me alone.

For example: In last month’s review, I wrote that I was researching a new bike. I wanted to finish my research and not buy a new bike, as I already have two.

But apparently that wasn’t the reality after all: I kept researching, and one morning I couldn’t even go back to sleep because I was thinking about it so much. And now I’ve actually ordered a new bike. But that’s not all, suddenly I’m also watching a lot of bike content on YouTube.

This is how it goes with many of my interests: For a while I’m obsessed with the topic, then again I’m not that interested in it anymore. The time span can range from a few hours to several months.

Other topics that come to mind: Cellular networks and cell phone plans, IndieWeb, open source, privacy, Linux, finance, stocks. Some interests, such as programming or blogging, remain the same over time, but with different intensity or focus: I used to be truly interested in app development, but now I’m more interested in backend topics.

Sunday 18/5: Constantly cold; sister here

A few days of extremely cold mornings (5°C or lower). This dilapidated old weatherboard house gets unbearably cold (as I keep complaining), and I can’t keep it all heated due to cost. I have poor circulation (Reynaud syndrome) which makes things worse; I need external heat as merely wearing warm clothing is not enough.

My sister and her husband drove down to Melbourne for the weekend; I saw them yesterday. Just a brief visit this time, mainly focused on the daunting task of sorting out my parents’ belongings and, in particular, Dad’s huge amount of hoarded clutter. A months-long ordeal.

Monday 19/5: Freezing cold; finance consultation; returned a oil heater

It is seriously cold, to the point where I can barely function. 3°C or so this morning. I wonder if I am mildly hypothermic; my body – particularly my hands – just can’t get warm in this dilapidated old house.

Saw Romy, a Financial Capability Worker, at Bentleigh Library today for a look at my finances. She made some useful suggestions.

Bought an 5-fin oil heater at Kmart yesterday, but, perhaps due to its size, it gave out little heat, so I decided to return it. I barely managed to carry it home; fit it into my shopping cart and it was very awkward and heavy to transport. John next door kindly gave me a car ride back to Southland to return it.

Tuesday 20/5: Visited parents; Apple AI woes

I visited my parents at Camberwell Gables today. The visit went well (happy to see each other!), as did the journey (Frankston line to Richmond Station → Lilydale line train to Camberwell Station → Alamein line train and alight at Riversdale Station).

“Why Apple Still Hasn’t Cracked AI,” Mark Gurman for Bloomberg, 18/5. On what a disaster Apple’s implementing its “Apple Intelligence” has been so far; it is well behind its competitors and there is internal discord on AI development policy. I vacilliate between switching AI on or off on my devices; I really don’t use it at all. Annoyingly, the disk space reserved for it does not seem to be cleared.

Wednesday 21/5: Cold again; counsellor session; dismayed at Denny

Another chilly morning – though not as bad as that on Monday (19/5 entry) – and a lovely sunny Autunm day.

Saw Hai Tran, the counsellor at Better Health Network in East Bentleigh (previously: 14/5 entry). A session about facing difficult tasks and my instinct to avoid these.

Reading through Denny Henke’s (6/5 entry) blog entries from last year and earlier, it is dismaying how he has done a complete 180° from Apple user to hater. He was a proponent of using the iPad as a main device (rather than a Mac or MacBook).

He lives as a semi-hermit in a wooden cabin – “operates out of a ‘tiny houseÆ in Madison County Missouri, just 5 miles north of Fredericktown” – which looks like an idylic lifestyle, but involves a lot of hard labor, not to mention enduring cold winters! Not a lifestyle I could cope with now.

Thursday 22/5: A plant murder

A cold morning (though not as cold as the last few days), with rain from tomorrow, unfortunately.

At Dad’s suggestion, I killed the wisteria outside the back door that has long become an invasive weed, branches and roots extending everywhere. He planted it in the 1970s; not one of his better ideas, as things turned out. As pretty as its drooping purple flowers (racemes) are, it is one of the banes of my living here as it makes an awful mess for most of the year (dropping petals in spring and leaves in Autunm). It has destroyed the pergola it is entwinded around, and lifted up the brick paving underneath, as well as spread onto the house roof and is blocking the gutter. On Sunday I hand-sawed through the entwined branches making up its trunk (quite tiring work!) and it is now showing signs of dieback, with drooping leaves. Unfortunately I can’t get it removed as this would be very expensive.

Friday 23/5: Roof rat (or something); possum plague; external drive corruption issue with iPhones and iPads?

Rain today, and for most of the next week, unfortunately. At least the temperature is not quite so cold.

Managed to use a rickety old wooden ladder to lift open the attic access panel in the laundry and place two packages of rat poison pellets. Rats or mice (not sure which?) of some sort get in up there occasionally – I can hear it scurrying around in the roof space above my bedroom – and Dad used to do this to (hopefully) be rid of them, but of course he is no longer at home.

My parents’ house does not have a proper attic – i.e. one like you see in American houses, that has pull-down stairs so it can be climbed up into, and is sealed and furnished like a spare room. It is a very dark and dirty roof space that I would not want to go up into!

Another nuisance in the suburbs here are possums (ring-tail and brushtail). Unfortunately, being native, they are a protected species (annoyingly) and they are consequently in plague proportions. One of the worst results is the possum droppings all over the footpaths; this makes a nasty mess if it gets on your shoes, and I have to watch the pavement ahead of me so as to try to not walk on it. They also invade gardens and roof spaces, and cause a lot of damage, being heavy. A lot of people find them “cute,” but I would have no qualms about culling them (as I would with any nuisance animal).

Regarding accessing an external drive on an iPhone or iPad (17/5 entry), I came across this blog post, “iPad: Corrupt Media Files Solution Workaround.” There is no option to safely eject a drive from these devices, so the only solution is to use an SD card (and an adapter to plug it in to the USB-C port).

Saturday 24/5: Considering cancelling NBN

Light rain overnight; fineing up a bit today.

A quiet day spent at home; did not go out anywhere. Did some file purging on my hard drives.

I may have to cancel my Aussie Broadband NBN subscription (14/2 entry) as it is now unaffordable ($69/month, with a probable price rise in July) in addition to my Vodafone mobile payments ($51.99/month); the mobile account has priority now. That would also cancel the landline, and the decades-long phone number for this house would be lost also. I would have to rely on hotspotting for home Internet access via my iPhone, which would be a bit hard on the battery, and I am not sure how viable the method would be long-term. There is a somewhat-relevant thread on Macforums, “Cancelled my broadband and been using 14 Pro as a hotspot for months,” though this is in the USA. Bentleigh Library also has free Internet access, though I would have to walk there and back (only 20 minutes or so, but still an extra step, and inclement weather would preclude going there). That would come full circle to the early days of my accessing the Internet, when we only had dial-up at home and I would often book a PC at the library to get more Internet time! (12/10/2001 entry).

Sunday 25/5: A hated chore; Apple’s Achilles heel

A fine and windy day, but rain due from tomorrow.

Did some tidying up in the backyard (raking up leaves). The wisteria I killed last Sunday (22/5 entry) is visibly dying, but a part of it crept up onto the roof and is blocking some of the gutter up there. I can’t climb safely up to clear it; the gutter is very high up and there is no clear space to get to it (pergola netting partly blocks it.)

I loathe gardening and cooking equally; both are just tedious chores for me. And I will be happy to see this house razed to the ground if and when it is ever sold.

The book Apple in China (5/2 entry) has been released. A Vanity Fair interview with author Patrick McGee: “The Dark History of How China Captured Apple.” It shows how disturbingly dependent Apple is now on a now-powerful, potentially hostile and currently volatile country for its products. As I previously noted, Apple’s moving manufacturing overseas and to China particularly has proved a Faustian bargain.

Monday 26/5: Visted parents; Apple lock-in; u/Realistic_Read_5956

Fine and windy for most of today, ahead of a cold change. Had a mild headache overnight and into this morning.

Visited parents at Camberwell Gables; the train journey there and back, and the visit, went well. Happy to see each other (the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is very truthful), though I can only stay a hour-and-½ or so as the journey there and back is nearly an hour each way. Our relationship has improved now that we are not together 24/7, and that they are being properly looked after.

“Putting Your Eggs in One Basket,” Kev Quirk, 24/5 (reactions from others: ldstephens, MereCivilian). I am also in the Apple ecosystem now, but for my current useage it suits me and, to quote ldstephens, “I’ve been on both sides of the fence. Still, for all its flaws, Apple’s products are superior. The integration, the hardware, and the privacy are unmatched. Sometimes the devil you know really is better than the one you don’t.” I do have a Gmail and Google account which I also use, but mainly for email. Linux – and in particular its rabid fans – is just obnoxious generally (6/5 entry); too fragmented and still unusable in some aspects.

An interesting Reddit user, u/Realistic_Read_5956, a 66-year-old who appears to be living a minimalist/vagabond-style life (a “47 year veteran of the Road”). Has lengthy posts in the relevant subReddits about his methods of living.

Tuesday 27/5: iPad Air returned; grubby laptop; luxury-loving Ive

And, guess what … I returned the iPad Air (and Pencil) again! Having the same thoughts as my previous return (3/5 entry): that I only really use it when lying in bed, and my iPhone and MacBook Air make an iPad a bit redundant. But I only got much of the refund in Apple gift cards, so I am back where I started – so perhaps I will use them for the base iPad 11/A16 (again!). I am bouncing all over the place with this indecision and am exhausted.

I noticed when seeing Romy the financial counsellor (19/5 entry) that her laptop – an older Microsoft Surface – was literally covered with crumbs and debris! I don’t know how people can tolerate letting their devices get into such a state – perhaps hers was a work-provided device so there was not much incentive to care for it.

Former Apple designer Jony Ive has been in the tech headlines again, with a collaboration with Open AI and a video tease about a new device. Not something of interest to me, but this gives me an excuse to make an observation about Jony Ives: that he was a bit too enamoured of luxury and his portrayal in Tripp Mickle’s After Steve gave examples of this. He turned Apple products into an elitist designer devices, at the cost of being accessible and relatively affordable for the general public. And, fortuitously, a recent relevant comment on Hacker News: “The most disappointing thing about Jony as a designer is how nouveau-riche he is. Since he left Apple, he’s been designing for Ferrari, King Charles, $2500 jackets, etc. It feels quite at odds with Jobs’ original visions of products that were beautifully designed, but still remained generally affordable for students, teachers, small business owners, and Mr/Mrs Everybody in general. Of all his tendencies that Jobs supposedly kept in check, I think that’s the most underdiscussed one. I guess the writing was on the wall with the $10k gold Apple Watch.” (gyomu)

Wednesday 28/5: iPad indecision

Cold and rainy today; gloomy depressing weather. Saw Hai Tran the counsellor yesterday.

Spent a restless night “flip-flopping” or bouncing over whether I should get an iPad again or not (27/5 entry). Main issue is that most of the refund is in Apple gift cards – a not-insubstantial amount – so I am locked-in to the store if I want to use them (at least they have no expiry date). My own fault for getting myself into a sunk cost fallacy. I can either put them toward yet another iPad re-buy or save them for future iPhone or MacBook upgrades (if I can restrain my impulses). I feel that I am going mad with this indecision churning round and round in my head. (Perhaps there is some bipolarism involved? Or Compulsive buying disorder.) Problem with the iPads is that the non-Pro models (Mini, base and Air) are all “gimped” in one way or another, and trying to decide which one would be best brings on analysis paralysis. There are too many models now, and the line should be reduced to a base and Pro at best. Anyway I will try to wait a while, give myself a cooling-off period, before taking any more action.

A somewhat relevant r/minimalism post: “If You Had to Fit Your Life into One Bag, What Would You Pack?” For tech devices, phones and laptops are often cited for such an occasion.

Thursday 29/5: New iPhone 16 Plus

I sidestepped the iPad indecision issue (28/5 entry) by … buying an iPhone 16+! I decided last night that I could get by with an iPhone and MacBook Air; I really don’t use an iPad much aside from content consumption, which I can do on the other devices. I rarely used the Pencil so that was mostly wasted. So today I took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and bought the iPhone at the Apple Store there, using my gift cards and paying the rest on debit. In the afternoon I took the 822 bus to Southland SC and sold the iPhone 16 to CeX, getting back the cash portion of the iPhone 16 Plus purchase (minus a case and screen protector). So I am now committed to it and this setup. It has the same tech specs as the smaller model, aside from screen size (6.1‑inch vs. 6.7-inch for the Plus) and a longer battery life for the Plus (22 hours video playback vs. 27 hours for the Plus). I also rang Support and cancelled AppleCare on the iPhone 16; it will be refunded and I will put it towards AppleCare for the 16 Plus. So all this went smoothly, thankfully!

Unwelcome but predictable news that the Aussie Broadband monthly charge for the basic tier is going up from $69 to $73; no thanks to NBN price rises, so all carriers are affected. Will keep my account a bit longer, but will seriously consider cancelling it (24/5 entry).

Friday 30/5: Library WiFi test run; NBN account cancelled

I am currently at Bentleigh Library, having taken my MacBook Air with me to try out their free WiFi there! It is quite good (and warm!). A 20-minute walk to get there. Assuming I cancel my NBN access (29/5 entry), coming here would be the only way of accessing WiFi, so I thought I would do a test run. It has certainly changed since my early Internet usage days of dial-up and having to book a library computer for more Internet time (24/5 entry)!

Have been watching some of iJustine’s old YouTube videos (10/5 entry). A nostalgic reminder of when the Internet and social media were fun.

Back home again. So that was an okay experience; the main impediment is having to walk there and back, so if the weather is inclement I would not go (or perhaps I could take the 701 bus there and back).

Later update: I have reluctantly gone ahead and cancelled my Aussie Broadband account, and thus NBN access. Our landline number that we have had for decades will also be lost (I do not use it anyway). Calling ABB was quick at least. The NBN box (Network Termination Device) will be disconnected tomorrow at 1 a.m.. (A note that it remains on the property it is installed on; residents moving out can’t take it with them as it is the property of NBN Co..)

Saturday 31/5: NBN no more; hotspot functioning; work from home? Rewrote my old resumé

Sad to see the NBN box dead, and the landline emitting a dead tone, so both are powered off. So is the modem, though it can still be used for local connections if needed. I did get the iPhone hotspot working – my MacBook automatically asked to join it (another reason I now ♥!). It is not an ideal long-term solution, though. The Vodafone website says regarding the issue, “Tethering permitted to personal devices only, but must not be used in a modem or as a substitute for a home internet service.”

I am at Bentleigh Library again. If I wanted to do any big downloads – such as operating system updates – I would try to do those here.

Wonder if remote work/working from home would suit me? Of course I would need an NBN connection again. I am not sure what I could do, though – something website-related, perhaps building basic websites? I really only know HTML and CSS and how to hand-code a site; the complex system of frameworks (and CSS frameworks) that seem to be standard for website creation now just baffle me. I miss the days when hand-coded sites, even for businesses, were the standard.

… Back home again. I feel rather cozy at the library; it is warm and safe, with that primal reassurance of other people nearby, and I get out of the cold dreary house for a while. I can feel very lonely and isolated here. I thought to dig out my old work resumé and have a go at rewriting it, so I did so in Apple Pages. The main problem is the massive unemployment gap between my last job as a Safeway cashier that I left on 26/10/2001 (I essentially had a nervous breakdown after too many years spent in repetitive and stressful work, hence my melodramatics when writing about it then) and now; I have been a recluse during that period. This makes my chances of any employment look dismal.

June

Sunday 6/1: Minimalistic travelling

Am at Bentleigh Library again. I did not realize, though, that it opens from 12 p.m. on Sundays (10 a.m. other days), so I wasted an hour waiting! At least the sun is out today, so this wasn’t unpleasant.

Another subReddit that I have been visiting recently (related to yesterday’s comment on remote work – 31/5 entry) is r/DigitalNomad, for those who travel and do remote/online work for a living. A recent post: “What tech do you carry travelling?” I would now carry my MacBook Air and iPhone 16 Plus; all that I need (plus associated dongles). I also visit r/HerOneBag (for women travelling with the minimum amount necessary – one bag here), and the more general r/minimalism.

Monday 2/6: Visited parents; old wireless keyboard still useful; disturbing dream; remove or leave as is? Back to vs. away from Apple

Visited my parents today at Camberwell Gables. Dad thought he had lost his wallet a few days ago, but it turned up today in one of his trousers’ pockets, thankfully! I don’t think I will be able to visit them next Monday due to a stupidly irrelevant public holiday (King’s Birthday) and trains will thus run to a much-reduced timetable, annoyingly.

I found I can link my old Apple Wireless Keyboard (2012, external battery-powered) to my iPhone via Bluetooth, so, as with my G3 iMac mouse and keyboard (9/4 entry) such an old peripheral still is usable! However, there are quirks with such old keyboards: forward deletion does not work on iPad and iPhone OS (according to this Apple Community post).

Rather disturbing dreams last night that involved a lot of open hostility between dream-Dad and myself; located at my grandmother’s (long-demolished) home and also in his backyard garage. This dream-garage is much bigger – deeper – than the real-life one and has appeared in previous dreams. Perhaps this is an expression of all the stress and tension of the last few years?

Thinking of revamping my website a little – perhaps remove the RuSpace subsite as I am no longer interested in it; similarly with my abandoned worldbuilding projects (does anyone ever read these? Admittedly they probably only appealed to myself). There is also the option of leaving these here as a part of my past web history. I do have the impulse to destroy what I have abandoned; I have certainly done that with past obsessions – mainly donating all the products (mostly books) I bought for a particular obsession, the artwork and relevant digital files. For one of my past worldbuilding projects I destroyed all the physical art I had done for it; this was bulky and heavy and I needed the space in my bedroom. So for my website I would not delete the relevant files but remove them from the public sites and archive them locally. My real focus has been this Journal. I am still undecided.

I do note that I like to read about other website users’ lives, but generally have little interest in any creative work they might upload and display.

“Apple Platform Refresh,” Jason Journals, 1/6; in contrast, “Experiment: Ecosystem without Apple,” Mere Civilian, 1/6. Two people I follow online moving in different directions regarding the Apple ecosystem. I have said before how dismayed I am, as a new Apple user, to see so many leaving it (26/5 entry). I prefer the “walled garden” to the jungle out there (Linux and similar, and in particular their obnoxiously evangelistic FOSS users).

Tuesday 3/6: Depressing rain; pro- not anti-tech

Rain and cold today; feeling very depressed. Decided to walk to BHN in East Bentleigh rather than take the 822 bus (a ½-hour walk); not the best impulse in today’s weather. Saw the counsellor, Hai Tran. Just felt out-of-sorts and hopeless.

Walked to Bentleigh Library after lunch for WiFi access, but to my annoyance all the laptop seats were taken! Had to sit on a wooden bench without plug-in USB ports.

I am irritated with the anti-tech sentiment that has been trending lately. No, I don’t want to undertake a “digital detox” or break up with my iPhone or anything similar. Internet access via my magical devices is a lifeline of sanity and connection for me, felt more acutely since my having to cancel home NBN broadband Internet (31/5 entry).

Wednesday 4/6: Apple OS design history; choosing no Internet access; iJustine mobile workstation in 2007

I am at Bentleigh Library again; got a seat this time! Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back this morning.

“Physicality: the new age of UI,” Sebastiann de With, 3/6. An interesting overview of the design evolution of Apple’s User Interface; the next operating system release (now macOS 26) will involve a major visual refresh (a glassy look, according to various rumors). I find the original skewmorphism too clunky-looking and cluttered now; I prefer the minimalistic flat design.

“Killing Home Internet Is the Most Productive Thing I’ve Ever Done, by Joshua Fields Millburn of the Minimalists. In his case cutting off broadband Internet at his home was a conscious lifestyle choice for productivity, rather than one reluctantly necessitated by financial constraints as in my case (31/5 entry). As I said yesterday (3/6 entry), Internet access is a lifeline for me; a window into the wider world; a place to explore and wander; to see how other people in other countries live; to communicate with them from a safe real-world space (well, safe for now). Without it I feel cut-off and isolated. I strongly disagree with the current anti-big-tech sentiment; I don’t want to return to the pre-Internet analog world in which I grew up (though I do feel nostalgia for some things, of the culture then and for relatives now deceased).

I took a screenshot of iJustine’s 2007 workstation setup in a café from her autobiography. Quite interesting to see what were the latest devices from that period! Caption below:

iJustine’s mobile workstation office at Crazy Mocha, 2007:

  1. MacBook Pro 1.16 Intel Core Duo (my personal laptop, the one I did actual editing work on)
  2. Apple Mighty Mouse
  3. Treo 700p
  4. iPhone 8G
  5. Incase Fitted Sleeve for iPhone
  6. Logitech QuickCam Fusion (mounted to the bill of my hat)
  7. Western Digital 1TB My Book external hard drive
  8. Crazy Mocha beverage
  9. Sony VAIO VGN-TVN15P (the laptop I’d received from Justin.tv, which I used mostly for streaming purposes)
Not pictured:
  1. Canon SD800 (for still photography)
  2. Panasonic PV-GS300 3.1MP 3CCD MiniDV (for video)
  3. Integrated Sprint EVDO card

It sort of looked as though I were operating a portable NORAD command station from that tiny Formica tabletop, doesn’t it? Some days, I’d eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner there – not to mention drink a whole lot of coffee – before eventually packing up and heading home.

On days when I needed to be a bit more mobile, I’d just wear the camera on my hat and carry the VAIO around in my purse (the laptop was configured not to go into sleep mode when the lid was closed).

Thursday 5/6: Cold and uninspired; tried leggings

Am at Bentleigh Library again. Could not get my window seat, though. Weather is chilly but fine today. Difficult to get up in the morning as house is so cold.

Feeling uninspired today. Head is full of things to do but can’t motivate myself to get started. Still undecided whether to remove my now-unupdated pages (RuSpace, some creative projects – 2/6 entry).

Tried on some leggings at Muji in Chadstone SC yesterday, to wear as an extra layer under my full-length medium-weight pants. My legs are surprisingly skinny and wasted! The leggings are quite comfortable and do help with keeping my legs warm (am wearing them today).

Friday 6/6: Sue signing off

Am at Bentleigh Library; no window seat though, so am on a hard wooden bench (and have a consequently sore bony behind after a while!). An unpleasant strong and cold north wind outside under a leaden sky; affects my mood as the current weather has a feeling of oncoming doom and menace. Very cold at home inside. Hard for me to function.

Sue the community nurse (previously: 3/4 entry) called to close her case with me. I do feel a bit abandoned, and increasingly isolated in a precarious living situation.

Spent some of the remaining afternoon huddled in my bed with a hot water bottle. I just want to hibernate through this awful season.

Saturday 7/6: Nasty weather returns; Steve Jobs bio re-read and missing him

Am at Bentleigh Library. Got there before 10 a.m. so I have a window seat today, at least. The miserable cold weather has set in for the next few days – cold, rain, wind – which makes walking anywhere a very unpleasant and difficult ordeal. I won’t go anywhere else today. And I have a cold and drafty old house to return to. Better than being homeless, but still horribly uncomfortable.

Had a mild headache from early this morning; it still lingers a bit.

Am re-reading Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. The biography has its critics, but Steve Jobs did give his permission so it does have relevance and authority: “Although Jobs cooperated with the book, he asked for no control over its content other than the book’s cover, and waived the right to read it before it was published. Describing his writing, Isaacson commented that he had striven to take a balanced view of his subject that did not sugarcoat Jobs’s flaws.”

Like so many others I miss Steve Jobs (6/10/2024, 5/2, 25/2, 21/4 entries); he is sorely needed to reinvigorate and refocus Apple.

Sunday 8/6: Cold; travel with mobile phone only digital device

Some heavy rain overnight, and cold and unpleasant today. The base of the clouds are dark and heavy with snow for the higher-altitude areas around Melbourne. As usual I am cold and miserable in an old cold house (when the expensive heating is not on). Managed a foray (fast walk and back) to the IGA supermarket in East Bentleigh this morning during a break from the rain.

A post on r/OneBag regarding use of a mobile phone as one’s only digital device (3/5 entry): “Does anyone here travel full time – whether fast or slow – without a laptop/tablet – phone only?” Just barely doable with a portable keyboard.

Made it to Bentleigh Library – opens annoyingly late at 12 p.m. on a Sunday (and will not be open tomorrow due to annoying public holiday). Got a window seat, at least.

Monday 9/6: Confined to home; WWDC25 tomorrow; still like my iPhone 16 Plus

Rainy, cold and unpleasant weather. Won’t visit my parents today due to the inclement weather and the irrelevant public holiday (King’s Birthday — as if I care!) and public transport being reduced to a Sunday timetable (no direct train to Riversdale Station, near Camberwell Gables). Which is stupid as trains should run on the same timetable all year round.

Bentleigh Library is also closed for public holidays, so looks like I will be stuck at home today :-(.

Am using my old Apple Wireless keyboard (2/6 entry) to type some of this entry. Disadvantage of using a mobile phone as one’s only device (8/6 entry) is that, unlike with macOS on my MacBook Air, I can’t use a dedicated code editor or FTP files to my online site. I can use online editors, but my setup does not enable that.

The WorldWide Developers’ Conference is tomorrow (from 3 a.m. Australian EST) but the general mood amongst Apple developers, users and enthusiasts is very unenthusiastic after last year’s AI debacle (introducing AI features that weren’t actually enabled yet … and still aren’t), and Apple seemingly moribund as a company. Perhaps there will be a pleasant surprise (”And one more thing ….”) but that seems unlikely (though one can hope).

Am into the second week of the 14-day return window for my current iPhone 16 Plus (29/5 entry). I like the larger screen size and have no desire to return it, so it’s a keeper. I am concerned about the battery life, though; having to hotspot uses more battery power — but nothing else I can do, for the time being, if I want Internet access at home with my broadband cancelled (30/5 entry). I have to charge it up once or twice a day due to my heavy usage, so I hope that won’t be detrimental long-term. (Current statistics from Settings: manufacture date: April 2025; first use: May 2025; maximum capacity: 100%; charge count: 7.)

Tuesday 10/6: WWDC25 ennui

Saw the counsellor Hai Tran this morning. Am at Bentleigh Library for free WiFi; got a window seat! At least the sun is shining today.

Apple’s annual WWDC25 was streamed online this morning and it was as underwhelming as I feared – no last-minute “And one more thing ….” nice surprise. The “Liquid Glass” UI is initially pretty, but becomes visually confusing with all the shiny elements and blobby pulsing animations. As with website design, I prefer the quieter “Flat Design” that just sits on the screen. Renaming all device Operating Systems to i/watch/tv/mac/vision/iPadOS 26 (“26” being 2026, the year of their main use) I am ambivalent about.

A commenter at Hacker News linked to Wirth’s Law: “an adage on computer performance which states that software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware is becoming faster.” Programmers take advantage of improved computer performance to bloat up their software with a lot more superficial “features.” It is similar to Feature creep: “the excessive ongoing expansion or addition of new features in a product […] These extra features go beyond the basic function of the product and can result in software bloat and over-complication, rather than simple design.” Instead of being efficient, hardware and software becomes bloated and slow, not to mention the huge increase in disk space required. Programming for leanness and efficiency should be made a priority.

A short YouTube video on How to Save Your iPhone Battery Health. I can’t use WiFi at home now due to having to cancel my NBN subscription (31/5 entry), so tethering/hotspotting my MacBook Air to my iPhone for home Internet access over the mobile network is definitely using more battery power/life than would be the case otherwise.

Wednesday 11/6: Liquid Glass reactions

Chilly mornings for the next few days. Visited parents today at Camberwell Gables.

”‘Beautiful’ and ‘Hard to Read’: Designers React to Apple’s Liquid Glass Update ,” Wired, 9/6. The “Liquid Glass” redesign has accessibility issues and “Beyond readability concerns, the first impression from some designers is that this new look could be unnecessarily distracting for users.” But beta testers have noted that there are likely to be changes and tweaks in the period up to the official release, so perhaps Apple developers will take note of the criticism and refine the design. I am concerned about the potential size of the OS download; this creeps up by gigabytes due to more and more features being added (“Feature creep”).

Thursday 12/6: Rubbish skip next week

Am at Bentleigh Library for free WiFi, but no window seat this time. A chilly morning but the day is fine and sunny. Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC this morning.

My sister has organized for a rubbish skip to be delivered Friday 20/6 so some large household items (Dad’s grubby old and heavy lounge chair) can be got rid of. I will have to use up the third of three free local council yearly hard rubbish collections to have two mattresses taken away (parents’ bed and what used to be my sister’s bed). Two male friends of my sister will, thankfully, help with the heavy lifting as neither of us are strong enough! These are decades old and very unclean (as is mine, but that will have to wait for another time, seeing as I am still using it!). The slow laborious chore of cleaning out my parents’ clutter will take months.

Friday 13/6: Flat design vs. skeuomorphism

A chilly morning and a fine sunny day. Took the bus to Southland SC and had my hair trimmed. Went to Bentleigh Library. Did not get a window seat.

”In case of emergency, break glass,” Riccardo Mori, 12/6. A lengthy critique of Apple’s OS 26 Liquid Glass.

With my general inclination towards minimalism, I have come to prefer flat design to its cluttered, clunky and dated opposite, skeuomorphism. The first is still, restful and stays out of the user’s way (and, ideally, should be sparing with use of a computer’s resources and disk space). The-then controversial iOS 7 radical redesign looks a lot more appealing now, in contrast to its predecessor which (over)used skeuomorphism, iOS 6. A lot of Apple users want a return to skeuomorphism, but I am assuredly not one of them.

Wikipedia has a sub-section titled “Apple evangelists”! Despite the company’s present malaise, it still has a lot of fans – and they are nowhere near as obnoxious as Linux evangelists (6/5 entry).

Saturday 14/6: Chronically cold; Apple in China author interview; gaming nostalgia (not me)

Cold, so cold. Could not get warm on this 4° morning due to my poor circulation (Reynaud syndrome), and my corpse-cold hands make it particularly unbearable (as well as getting older with less tolerance for discomfort). Spent most of it huddled in front of the lounge room gas heater, which is the only heat source making this icy cold house bearable. I am dreading the utility bills. But I cannot function when I am this cold. I am getting a painful chilblain on my left second/index toe; I have had one there before.

I am so intensely sorry for homeless people having to sleep outside in this winter weather; it must be utter torture. It’s a disgrace that in a supposedly developed country some are enduring such circumstances for various reasons.

Pertinent: “Why Australian homes are so cold — and what you can do about it,” SBS News, 14/6. I am not in a financial position to undertake the many upgrades suggested – and the house is so old and dilapidated that these would be money wasted. (Ideally, if I could afford it, the house would be demolished and a new modern one – or duplex townhouses – would be built.) I would really like to leave, but have no reliable steady income from work, and where would I go? And another article linked from that page, about the substandard living conditions many renters endure: “Illness, mould, and a battle to stay warm: Australian tenants' winter struggle,” 16/8/2022.

”‘China has Apple by the balls’: How the rising superpower captured the tech giant,” The Age, 14/6. A brief interview with Apple in China author Patrick McGee on Apple’s Faustian bargain (25/5 entry) with China (I bought a physical copy of the book last week — current books about Apple are almost non-existent at the moment, sadly).

”Addicted to nostalgia,” ABC News, 14/6. On the huge popularity of collecting and playing retro games (and the associated hardware). I still feel like an outlier in never having played, and having no interest in, gaming (3/9/2024 entry).

Sunday 15/6: Phone call from Dawn; anti-smartphone hysterical scaremongering; testing to destruction

Not quite so cold this morning. Am at Bentleigh Library for their free WiFi – not open until 12 p.m. today, but I got a window seat! Annoyingly they are closed tomorrow for a staff training session, so I will try to visit my parents at Camberwell Gables. There is rain due, though, which will make travelling more difficult and unpleasant.

Mum’s cousin, Dawn Harbour, who lives in Ballarat, rang me this afternoon, as she occasionally does (6/4 entry). She is elderly also. She only has a landline phone – no mobile phone or Internet connection – so I had to write her a letter with family phone numbers she could contact now that my parents’ landline phone is disconnected along with the NBN and the number removed (31/5 entry).

”For All That Is Good About Humankind, Ban Smartphones,” David Moscrop for Jacobin, 13/6. Yet another scaremongering opinion piece on the supposed dangers of smartphones. I emphatically disagree — my iPhone is my lifeline and portal to the still-marvellous online world.

“In short, smartphones are bad for our mental and physical health, making us miserable, stupid, and antisocial. […] Smartphones are anti-political, anti-intellectual, and antisocial menaces.” As one who has always been antisocial with autistic traits, Internet access is, conversely, a safe space for me; I can interact with others under my own terms without the distraction and sometimes discomfort of facing a person in reality. (I would, in fact, love an Artificially Intelligent virtual friend.)

“Inside the secretive labs where Apple’s torturers put iPhones to the test,” The Age, 13/6. On the extensive damaging and destructive testing that Apple puts its devices through.

A comment from Hacker News relevant to my liking a flat design UI (13/6 entry): “I know most people couldn’t care less about this, but those gimmicky animations probably consume more computing power than the entire Apollo project, which strikes me as unnecessary and wasteful. Given the choice, I’d much rather have a clean, efficient interface. I tend to like Material Design in comparison. It’s clean, efficient, and usable. I just hope Google won’t try to ‘improve’ it with annoying gimmicks and end up making things worse, like Apple did here.”

Monday 16/6: Visited parents; still missing Steve

Had a mild headache from last night into this morning. Windy and cold, with rain due later today. The northerly wind has been strong and brutally cold.

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables, with the usual long (nearly 1 hour) multiple-train journey either way. They at least are warm inside the residence! Here at home it is freezing.

“The Little Things Apple Misses from Steve Jobs,” Tech Reflect, 1/10/2020. A “missing Steve Jobs” blog post I came across (7/6 entry).

Tuesday 17/6: Upcoming WISE appointment; Robin Greenfield; downsize to iPhone only? Redo website?

Unwelcome rain today, but it mostly cleared up by morning. A very unpleasant strong cold wind, though.

Saw the Better Health Network counsellor, Hai Tran – she suggested I submit an eligibility application form to WISE employment, an organization that helps disadvantaged people find work. Much to my surprise a lady from there rang me on my walk back home, and I have an appointment for 2 p.m. next Monday.

Robin Greenfield is an interesting person who has practised a form of extreme minimalism for many years. “He has no bank account, credit card, life savings, car, cellphone or insurance and, since 2022, has had no form of government ID. He has been living this experiment for over a decade. […] Robin has committed to a set of lifetime vows – to earn below the federal poverty threshold, to resist federal taxes and to keep his net worth and possessions to a minimum.”

Granted, he is reliant on the goodwill and donations from others who follow his journey, and his lifestyle could be more critically regarded as a form of performative homelessness (those forced to become homeless might not be so happy!). The phrase “luxury beliefs” comes to mind — he lives like this because he is privileged enough to actively choose to (unlike the aforementioned homeless).

Been thinking this morning that I could downsize and minimalize my devices to just a smartphone — perhaps after the latest iPhones are released, trade in both this phone and MacBook for the highest-level iPhone (Pro Max or whatever), assuming I had funds to afford it, and use that as my multipurpose computing device. The sticking point is being able to edit my website offline (need a code editor) and upload it online via FTP; this seems very difficult, though there are some third-party apps such as Textastic — but $99 for the full version of the app …! There is also an ongoing subscription version, but I do not want that constant financial drain (my only current subscriptions are iCloud and my mobile phone account).

Have been in some agitation over whether I should redo this website and minimize it; delete sections and have a fresh start. Or perhaps I should leave older pages and sections up as they are a part of my web history? I am undecided.

Wednesday 18/6: Quiet day

Cold still today, but no rain or strong wind at least. Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back. Walked to Bentleigh Library for free WiFi, got a window seat, spent 1½ hours coding my website then reversed what I had done on coming home! Oh, well.

Thursday 19/6: Anti-tech hysteria out of control; some HTML optional

Cold again, though no rain forecast until next week, thankfully.

“Six months out from teen social media ban, age-checking tech mistakes kids for 37-year-olds,” ABC News, 19/6. “In recent trials, key age-checking technology behind the teen social media ban could only guess people’s ages within an 18-month range in 85 per cent of cases. The social media ban for under-16s is due to take effect in December, but experts say the government should reconsider the policy.” How about dropping it altogether? I am fed up with this “Nanny State” nonsense – teens will hopefully find a way around all these clueless bans by technology-challenged politicians catering to equally clueless parents.

The anti-technology backlash generally – and the targeted hate towards the so-called “tech bros” (18/11/2024 entry) – also annoys me. I do not want to revert to a world without such access to digital devices and the Internet – namely, the era in which I grew up. As I keep saying (15/6 entry), my iPhone and MacBook are magical devices that connect me to the rest of the online world, and a realm of infinite knowledge, and I feel extremely isolated without these. Read “The Techno-Optimist Manifesto” – I agree with much of it.

One aspect of HTML code I have found out is that some tags can be omitted – the W3C has a page section listing these, as does Jens Oliver Meiert (“Optional HTML: Everything You Need to Know”). If typing HTML by hand as I do, it means a little less tags to type, so perhaps I will implement this.

Friday 20/6: Upcoming decluttering

Cold morning as usual, though at least the sun is out today. Also, dismayingly, I think I am getting a cold as my throat feels a bit dry and scratchy.

Decided against optimizing my HTML code (19/6 entry); I am just used to writing out all tags!

My sister is driving down today to stay for most of next week (at a friend’s house) to begin some decluttering of my parents’ possessions. Be a bit of a stressful time over the next few days, with various people coming and going to help with transporting heavy items (parents’ queen-sized bed – mattress and base, both the banes of my life! – and my sister’s old single bed). A rubbish skip was delivered this afternoon (12/6 entry). Dad’s old, heavy and grubby recliner chair is to go out in that (12/6 entry).

Saturday 21/6: Am cold, cold houses and have a cold; decluttering begins; the Apple Store that wasn’t

I have a cold, but so far not too severe. Had some vivid dreams last night.

My sister is here with a friend, Rob, to have a look through Dad’s cluttered garage, and to put his old recliner chair in the rubbish skip.

“The Apple Store That Never Was,” MacRumors, 3/4. A retrospective on the proposed Apple Store for Melbourne’s admittedly-ugly Federation Square in 2019, that met a lot of public opposition and was cancelled (only Victorian Apple Stores now are in Chadstone and Southland SCs – fortunately both are not far from my location via public transport – and three other SCs). There is still no CBD Apple Store, unfortunately.

“Australian winters shouldn’t feel this unbelievably cold,” ABC News, 21/6 (previously: 14/6 entry). Another article on how poorly insulated Australian houses are.

Sunday 22/6: My cold continues; more technophobic nonsense

My cold continues; I have a sore throat and a cough. According to this r/Melbourne subReddit thread, there are a variety of illnesses circulating amongst the population. Hope I don’t have one of the severe infections.

More technophobic nonsense: “The Smartphones Haven’t Defeated Us. Yet.” NYT, 18/6. “One major reason is that in the brief period when flip phones and other basic phones were replaced by smartphones, roughly from 2010 to 2015, there was a pervasive sense of techno-optimism. Most people were amazed by the new technology and its beneficial applications — from the mundane like hailing a car service to the profound like bringing down a dictatorship. A common belief at the time was that being a so-called digital native would give children an advantage in the new world taking shape around us. It was only in the late 2010s that a deep unease began to arise as it became increasingly clear that children who grew up with smartphones and social media were not better adapted. In fact, they were becoming more anxious, depressed, isolated, sedentary and unable to focus.” One of the authors, Jonathon Haight, has (according to an AI search summary) “faced criticism for his book The Anxious Generation, particularly regarding his claims that social media and smartphones are primarily responsible for a mental health crisis among teens. Critics argue that his conclusions are not well-supported by scientific evidence and that he may be oversimplifying a complex issue by attributing the rise in mental health problems solely to technology use.” As I have stated before (14/3 entry), I love my iPhone; it is a beautiful device that is my lifeline to the rest of the world, my main form of information and entertainment.

The article links to the Time Person of the Year for 2010, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg; a positive portrayal that would be (unfortunately) unthinkable in this era of hate for Big Tech.

Monday 23/7: Migraine; house clearout continues; WISE appointment

Had a migraine overnight and into this morning, with one episode of dry retching. That, along with my cold, has debilitated me. Had a lingering headache until early afternoon.

Sunny today but very windy, with a strong cold front and rain due later.

My sister and Rob are here to continue the clear out of my parents’ possessions and accumulated house clutter. The first rubbish skip delivered on Friday (21/6 entry) was collected today, and a second one delivered.

Went to my WISE employment appointment (17/6 entry); fortunately the office is not far away, in Moorabbin, so I could walk there. The lady I saw was quite nice and helpful. I had to fill out an eligibility form and they will contact me again.

Tuesday 24/6: Uncomfortable head cold; “Think of the children!” hysterics

I had a very uncomfortable and stuffy nose all night, which disrupted my sleep. Had to give in and use a decongestant. Also cancelled this week’s appointment with counsellor Hai Tran as my nose is constantly runny and I don’t want to spread my cold around.

Yesterday was rather warm but the brief respite from the cold ended today, with a strong unpleasant southerly wind and heavy rain due through tomorrow.

The clearing-out continues … both mattresses and bed bases were collected by the local council hard rubbish pickup today, and good riddance to the filthy things! My bed is in the same condition, but I still am using it … if I ever leave home here, my bed will be disposed of too. Rob has been sorting through Dad’s decades of accumulated clutter in the shed and it is already much-improved from last week. Dad has a lot of duplicates of tools. The second rubbish skip is nearly full. Indoors, my sister is doing a lot of sorting and removing, but there is still a lot of stuff to dispose of over the next few months – two large cabinets full of Mum’s collected crystal and porcelain ornaments and glassware as one example. There is nothing I want of that, or anything other than what I use. I want much of the stuff eventually gone.

A Hacker News comment on a Guardian article blaming in part smartphones for children’s lack of access to play, echoing my comments (14/3 entry) on my devices enabling Internet access to a world of knowledge and connecting with others around the world:

I find it odd that this is has became such a pandemonium sic – means “pandemic”? now.

As an elder millennial I can remember everyone being absolutely glued to MSN Messenger in secondary school. This was back in the dialup days so it was stopping your parents making phone calls!

Regardless, I feel that it the debate needs to be about what children are doing. Probably like many here I spent a lot of my childhood devouring technical content on the internet, which I would say has given me the chance to work on incredibly interesting projects (and make friends with people across the world). If I had been time restricted on my computer (and a lot of my friends were) it would have significantly altered my career trajectory.

If you are scrolling endless garbage tiktok or YouTube videos for hours a day, yes the utility is pretty low (though again, watching hours of trashy cable TV back in the day doesn’t feel that different to me).

That doesn’t mean that many won’t learn and find out about their passions in a way that was unthinkable a few decades ago.

Wednesday 25/6: First gas bill; proper Sudafed works! Tiresome tech-bro hate; Ulillillia update

The rain has come today, unfortunately, and the unpleasant cold weather. And a third rubbish skip was hired as the cleanout continues. Rob’s wife Lea came today also to help with removing stuff.

First gas bill email: $172.42.

Got much better sleep last night. The Sudafed decongestant tablets have helped! These are the ones with pseudoephedrine that have to be bought in a chemist from behind the counter, not the ones with the ineffective phenylephrine that can be bought normally (off the shelf in supermarkets). The former ingredient had strict purchasing controls applied no thanks to it being used by drug dealers to synthesize methamphetamine. Abuse by some ruined its ready availability for legitimate users.

“Wedding of Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez moved after Venice protests,” ABC News, 25/6. The “tech-bro” hate (19/6 entry) has gotten ridiculous.

Many years ago (8/9/2007, 8/8/2015 entries) I mentioned the personal website of “Ulillillia” (Ryan Evan Kadrian – in 2023 he changed his real name from his original one of Nick Smith). His website is no longer active, unfortunately, but he has a Facebook page and a Patreon. He has autistic traits, but he seems to be doing much better with his life.

Thursday 26/6: Continued decluttering; visited parents

Still rainy. My cold is much better, thankfully.

Another decluttering and purging day with my sister and Rob. I visited my parents at Camberwell Gables; the nearly-1 hour train journey each way went well.

Friday 27/6: Decluttering continues; house and land evaluation; contemplating purging my art; Mark Irons’ site

A cold and damp day, but weather is fining up for a while with some sunshine.

And another decluttering and purging day with my sister and Rob. Her friend Jan is coming to help with some cleaning.

A real estate agent visited briefly on Wednesday to give my sister a rough appraisal for the house’s value – well, more accurately the land it is on as the old deteriorating weatherboard house is only fit for demolition. Land in this area is worth an average of $1.2 million. There is, though, the little problem, though, of my residence and not having anywhere else to go.

I will purge most of my old art that is on physical media (drawings, paintings) – I don’t feel much attachment to it once it is out of my brain, and is yet another form of clutter. And I have hundreds of analog film photos taken by myself when younger – digitising all of these would be a months-long chore and I don’t have a scanner. I can take photos with my phone camera, but this is still tedious. Family photos are meaningless to strangers and would get discarded anyway.

I was revisiting (the sadly deceased) Mark Irons’ Home Page – his “Patterns for Personal Websites” has useful tips even now (and is a lot better-designed than today’s horribly bloated websites).

Saturday 28/6: Last day of declutter week; abandoning Apple; against anarchism

Last day of this decluttering week, and last day here for my sister; she has to drive home tomorrow to Wagga Wagga (she gave up her work leave to spend a week here decluttering – she graduated from The University of Queensland in 2018 as an adult entrant with a Bachelor of Occuptational Therapy with Honours Class IIIA, and a Bachelor of Pharmacy with Honours Class I). Dad’s garage is a lot less messy; Rob has done amazing work in a week! There is still much clearing and tidying to do, but already one can walk into the shed without tripping over piles of junk.

“We have a choice to make: How we compute matters,” Denny Henke (previously: 21/5 entry), 26/6. In which he apologizes for having used Apple for so long, using the tone of a religious convert who has “seen the light.” And again I will say how disappointed I am that he is now anti-Apple, when he was such a staunch advocate for up to a year ago.

Denny Henke has long subscribed to the political philosophy of anarchism – a nice-in-theory ideology that has never been successfully implemented for long in reality, given human nature. I posted a question to ChatGPT: “What are the arguments against anarchism? What discredits anarchism as a method of organising society?” It gave me a lengthy detailed reply, summing it up: “The main critiques of anarchism revolve around its feasibility and practicality in the real world. While its ideals of autonomy, equality, and freedom from oppression are compelling, opponents argue that a stateless society is prone to instability, inefficiency, and the rise of new forms of coercion and inequality. Many argue that centralized authority is necessary for maintaining order, security, and social welfare, especially in large and complex societies.” Anarchism might work amongst small groups of humans, but proves infeasible with large populations.

Sunday 29/6: A week of decluttering makes a difference; shopping around is stressful

Took some photos (dining room, sister’s old bedroom, Dad’s shed – 1, 2) to contrast with some ones from last year (see 29/10/2024 entry for previous photos). Still a lot to do, but now one can walk in there without fearing for one’s life from tripping over clutter! A lot of items, though, have been boxed up and stored in the empty bedrooms for sorting and disposing of in the next few months.

And yet, the clearing-out is still upsetting; seeing the familiar environment in which I grew up and my parents’ possessions and the decades of their lives just vanish. That part of my life – which continued for far longer than is the case for most people (most normal people) – is ending, and I do not know what lies ahead for me.

I am sick of being told to just “shop around” for the best deals for utilities such as energy and internet providers, and banks – as suggested in this article, “The magic words that could help lower your energy bill,” The Age, 29/5.

However, Byrne echoed the calls from authorities for consumers to shop around, noting loyalty taxes are pervasive in the energy market and that often lower-income and time-poor workers were the ones who rarely shopped around despite standing to gain the most.

Byrne conducted a research experiment in which about 20 actors gathered in a makeshift call centre at Melbourne University and called up energy companies adopting a range of different personas, to see how price offers varied between those claiming to urgently need to connect their new homes and customers who tried to haggle with the companies citing lower quotes they’d received from rivals.

“Context and urgency make a big difference in the price you’ll get offered. Our research found if you tell the call centre you just moved into an apartment and need to get the lights on, you’re going to get a 2 per cent higher quote.” However, discounts are possible if callers follow some key rules.

“If … you call them up and say you’ve done your homework, you know what the best prices are, and have patience to spend all day finding a deal, our research found that if they know you know the lowest price, you could get a 3 to 4 per cent reduction.

“Picture yourself in a market in Bali haggling with sellers; the electricity market is no different. The companies aren’t doing anything wrong, they’re just exercising market power, in the way most oligopolies behave.”

I find “haggling” extremely stressful, and likewise the process of churning from one provider to another every few months when special price deals are offered. Many seem to do this frequently and revel in it, but for me it is yet another source of anxiety that I can do without. I simply do not have the confidence or physical and mental energy to engage in such a practice.

Monday 30/6: Another migraine; saw parents; fingerprint conspiracy? Increasingly unusable UI

Had a migraine overnight and into this morning, with one episode of dry retching (previously: 23/6 entry). Are “Monday migraines” becoming a trend with me now? Still can’t pinpoint any obvious triggers. Was feeling better by the afternoon.

Took the train to see my parents at Camberwell Gables again (previous visit: 26/6). Happy to see each other.

An interesting tidbit from Apple in China (which I am reading): “Jony Ives was enamored with the stainless steel back of the original iPod. Earlier reviewers of the device critiqued the choice of material because of the way fingerprints marred the chrome look. But this wasn’t some oversight. It forced the user to polish the unit, and for Ive that created an unconscious, nurturing connection.” The midnight-colored MacBook Air has been much-criticised for being a “fingerprint magnet” – wonder if Jony’s thinking contributed to this?

“More stray observations – on Liquid Glass, on Apple’s lack of direction, then zooming out, on technological progress,” Riccardo Mori, 28/6. “But it’s true – something important died with Steve Jobs. He was really Apple’s kernel, for better and for … less better. This Apple has been dismantling Mac OS, as if it’s a foreign tool to them. They’ve bashed its UI around. And they seem to have done that not for the purpose of improving it, but simply for the purpose of changing it; adapting it to their (mostly misguided) idea of unifying the interface of different devices to bring it down to the simplest common denominator.” A lament for Apple’s apparent stagnation in its design and user interface.

July

Tuesday 1/7: MyID madness (again); iJustine creeps

Saw the counsellor Hai Tran today (previously: 17/6 entry).

Have been trying to set up MyID again as the last attempt was on my previous iPhone 16 (4/3 entry). And again I am unable to: “Your identity cannot be verified. You will need to reset your app.” Which I have done, only to end up at the same frustrating dead end. Will probably have to ring up the helpline yet again. Something I can’t face at the moment. I need the stupid app to access my Australian Tax Office account details online. MyID has to be the most poorly-designed app out of all the government ones; there is no end of complaints about it in Apple’s App Store (mostly one- and two-star reviews, out of five stars).

As per above review but NO stars from me

13 Nov. WhatADebacle

What a frustrating and ridiculous ‘improvement’ this is. As soon as I enter my passport details I get an error message saying this document has already been verified and I am back to square one, meaning I have to remove the app from my device and start again. I have had the same personal email address for over 20 years so this makes zero sense. I have also been doing my taxes through myGov for years without issue. The last version was super easy to use! Typical government, wasting money and effort ‘fixing’ something that isn’t broken.

I rang the 1300 number for help. Totally useless.

I am required to use this stupid app to revalidate my security clearance so it is essentially affecting my ability to work. Someone should be sacked over this debacle.

Funnily enough the nicknames ‘unimpressed’ and ‘not amused’ are already taken hahaha what a joke.

Where is the option to give this no stars?

14 Apr Bungledoo

Oh, please take the opportunity to use this useless app, which trashes your identity, cannot be updated, denies that you exist and is bulletproof proof against complaints. And of course, you can’t complain, because the phone in system either keeps you on line without answering or gives you lies and deceptions about what is happening, advice about how to do nothing effective to fix it, or complains that you shouldn’t be so unhappy. I have had the same email and password for years, no problems until some bureaucrat (who no doubt gets a regular salary) decided that a system that works should be changed to one that doesn’t. If it was funny you could laugh, but if you’re desperate, that’s just too bad. And don’t try to delete the app and start again, because it recognises you and blocks you out. Machiavellian.

Was scrolling through iJustine’s Facebook feed, and there is this man, Miguel A. Alarcon, who comments on every post she makes. To me he gives off “creepy stalker” vibes – or close to this. Example comment below from a recent post:

Justine I am so happy that you gave your Labubu and I get to say Justine is that your most beautiful moments in your life is waiting for you, yet things like Trolls as my sister had a Troll is just collectors items but yet time to recover of everything, don’t loose hope Justine you will find a right path.

My heart is ready to love and since I ready about you their is nothing more in this world than love that I am ready to give and you can’t regret it, your next phase learn Spanish because it is very handy for Colombia and yes in a town called woman behind the hills also called Fusagasuga your Holiday spot and find Alvaro Alonso he thought me how to dance tango and he also teaches salsa.

You could find him in front of a church called Nuestra Señora De Belén Our Lady of Bethlehem in Spanish at Downtown Fusagasuga he shows performance of people dancing, and children singing he ha a mustache and say that Miguel sent you and he could teach me tango because I already found my right partner.

This is a sign of how much I love you Justine I am serious.

I love you and this time is serious!

Miguel ❤️❤️❤️

There is also an Indian man by the name of अभिषेक कुमार विश्वकर्मा (nickname of “abhi”) who posts the same damned annoying Memojis repeatedly.

Justine would undoubtedly get a lot of such people – a major downside of being an online public figure.

Wednesday 2/7: myID success

Grey and rainy today; very dreary. Took the 672 bus to Chadstone SC and back. Not going anywhere else; too wet to walk to the library for WiFi internet.

Surprisingly, I managed to increase myID identity strength today – I submitted my birth certificate and Medicare card details, which seemed to work. Yesterday (1/7 entry) I tried to submit my driver’s licence details, which the app disagreed with; perhaps due to my applying for a reissued licence with name details changed earlier this year (10/2 entry).

Thursday 3/7: Dark grey favored; macOS themes thoughts; Jenn McAllister; unsurvivable income

The rain passed and the sun is out, though it is otherwise unpleasantly wet and cold.

On wearing neutral colored clothing only (25/3 entry), I like dark grey the most.

I was reading through the Windows themes Wikipedia page, and had the thought that I would like the equivalent of the Windows Classic theme in macOS style (flat design), with the option to choose one’s preferred color combination; as with the WC theme, the macOS one would be “less CPU-intensive and offer better performance.” And free up some drive space! Also allow the option to delete themes (and redownload them if desired), including the graphically-intense and bloated “Liquid Glass“ (11/6 entry) or whatever equivalent was current by then.

Actually, I just remembered that I came across the Mac Themes Garden website that features a lot of classic Mac themes – the flat-style ones are what I had in mind. Some examples (there is an option to pick by color): Bleen, Emerald (and other nice jewel themes from that creator), BoldLine G, Flat. I also like the “I-Color” themes (iStrawberry, etc.) by Hiroyuki Fujisaki.

Unfortunately, Apple now would not allow such customisation; that freedom belonged to an earlier Apple era.

I also came across another Internet personality called Jenn McAllister; I found her autobiography interesting enough to order a physical copy of (part of my fascination for American lives and lifestyle – 18/1, 12/3 entries).

This ABC News story, “Patricia is going without food to feed her cats, as she struggles to pay her mortgage – and she is not alone,” alarmed me as it mentions her paltry Centrelink payment: “But when the 68-year-old had to quit her supermarket check-out job due to several health issues, she started to fall behind on her home loan repayments.‘When that all happened to me I went on Centrelink payments, just more or less the JobSeeker, which was about $384 a fortnight. I could not pay my house payments then,’ she says.” That is around $140 per week to somehow survive upon – impossible. I am fearful that if I qualify for Jobseeker after my Carer’s Payment ends in two weeks, my payments will be low also.

Friday 4/7: Phone calls, forms, appointments

Sunny (but chilly) today! Won’t last, but sunshine improves my mood a bit.

Telehealth call with Dr. Alison Zhang this morning (previously: 2/5 entry). She issued me a new medical certificate for my Jobseeker health exemption, and she will visit me at home sometime in the next week or so to take my blood pressure as trying to get to the Southend Medical Centre by public transport requires a nearly hour-long journey by train! (Frankston line to South Yarra station, change to Sandringham line then along there to Hampton Station).

Filled in a Jobseeker payment application form online and sent it in as my current Carer’s Payment allowance will end in two weeks. No option for a transitional form that I could see? Phone interview with Centrelink scheduled for next Wednesday regarding the form, so I am nervous as to whether it will be successful this time (28/4 entry). Also got a phone call from Centrelink today regarding my current circumstances; the lady who spoke to me was quite nice and sympathetic.

Saturday 5/7: Sister to move; city/country divide

My sister messaged me today and told me she and her husband (an Army Chaplain) have been posted to Townsville in Queensland! “He has received his posting and it’s to Townsville the next three years from 2026. It’s his last posting before he’s supposed to retire from full time army. He’s happy enough and is going to 3 CSSB – it’s a combat support unit. He hopes to then have full time work in army reserves.” Though I knew they would inevitably and eventually be posted elsewhere, I am still upset as this means I will only see them in person very infrequently as they would have to fly down and back.

“Would you shoot a wombat? In Taralga, the answer isn’t as simple as you’d think,” ABC News, 5/7. On native wildlife being viewed as sacred vs. destructive pests – the controversy is an example of the ideological divide between city folks and country folks (idealism vs. pragmatism). For myself, I have no qualms about culling animals – native or introduced – that are a pest for humans (see my 23/5 entry regarding possums).

But his face becomes serious when he talks about how wombats have divided this community.

He describes the conflict as being between “wombat cuddlers,” people like Dianna who are new to the area and have progressive views, and “wombat shooters”, farmers who see wombats as a destructive pest.

“You try and find neutral ground but underneath, we both know one’s a bloody wombat cuddler and the other one’s a wombat shooter.” […]

Chris thinks it should be up to the farmer, not bureaucrats at government agencies.

“They really need to allow the farmers to do what they have to do,” he says.

“I can already hear the greenies going ‘oh, what do you mean, they belong there.’

“They’re a native animal, yeah … but keeping the population under control is something that needs doing.

“To think that they’re just a cute, cuddly animal is a fantasy.”

And predictably enough, the relevant r/Australia post is full of clueless comments from urban-dwelling Redditors supporting the city folk: “Every farmer I’ve met in Australia has been a tremendous arsehole. I’m sure there’s exceptions but I haven’t met them. I think most of them have never worked a ‘normal’ job and have never had to answer to anybody.” “I hope Dianna keeps on doing what she’s doing and looking out for the little wombos. Frankly the rest of the town sound like a bunch of backwards uneducated cunts.”

Sunday 6/7: Open source jungle; I stand with

Denny Henke of Beardy Star Stuff (28/6 entry) has gone into full-on radicalised cult mode, with his recent “conversion” to open-source/free software and his 180-degree turnaround against Apple computers and the company. I feel annoyed at him because I was enjoying reading about his usage of, and advocacy for, Apple products up to last year, as well as his reclusive simple life in a cabin in the woods. I will still continue to visit his site.

Beardy Star Stuff
@dennyhenke@social.coop
Jul 04, 2025 at 08:36 AM
Just had a tech support call with client, a long-time Apple fan/user. He asked why I’d jumped ship. I was happy to explain. But it left me wondering, how folk that think of themselves as progressive or remotely leftish justify to themselves staying with #Microsoft, #Google, #Apple, etc. Have you TRIED any #FreeSoftware or made an effort to explore a phased transition out of the trap you’re in? Do you even recognize it as a trap? When was the last time you took a real look at #GNU #Linux

I stand with Apple despite its current malaise and missteps; I enjoy reading about its history, about Steve Jobs and so on. Its products are a fusion of beauty and practicality; they “spark joy” in a way that other computer manufacturers do not. And, as I said in my 24/2 and 2/6 entries, I prefer Apple’s “walled garden” to the open-source jungle – the latter is precariously dependent upon random individuals to volunteer their time and expertise to creating and maintaining a hodgepodge of free software, a sometimes-thankless and unappreciated task. An example article from a quick search: “Open source maintainers are really feeling the squeeze,” The Register, 16/2. “The theme cropped up repeatedly during 2025’s State Of Open Conference, with speakers from tech giants and volunteer maintainers laying out the challenges. Much of the open source ecosystem relies on volunteers putting in too many hours for too little support and the cracks are growing. […] The experience of feeling under pressure, isolated and faced with a growing pile of work while receiving the occasional unpleasant message from an entitled user demanding their issue be dealt with now or that a contribution merged be immediately is far too common. […] ‘Many participants in open source feel that open source projects are chronically undersupported, especially given the growing appetite for using open source software. This feeling is also reflected in the numbers: many projects, even those deemed “critical infrastructure” are supported by very few people (often with one person doing most of the work), many maintainers have considered quitting, and many projects may not be maintained at all.’”

Monday 7/7: Sunny; saw parents

Sunny and relatively mild today – calm and pleasant weather (aside from the chilly morning!). Took the train to see my parents at Camberwell Gables; not much to talk about this visit, but nice to see each other.

Tuesday 8/7: Carer Payment cancelled; finished Apple in China; webdev Jason Knight passed away

Extremely windy today – gale-force winds – with rain due.

Got a letter from Centrelink saying my Carer Payment had been cancelled, as expected (28/4 entry): “This is because the extension of your Carer Payment after the person you were caring for permanently entered the nursing home/institution, has now finished.” My Jobseeker payment application sent in last Friday (4/7 entry) is still being processed, so the Centrelink phone appointment tomorrow will tell me the outcome, I guess. Very nervous.

“Is Technology Really Ruining Teens’ Lives?” New Yorker, 30/6. “In recent years, an irresistibly intuitive hypothesis has both salved and fuelled parental anxieties: it’s the phones.” An article that questions the current hysterical overreaction of blaming teenagers’ reported mental health issues on the use of smartphones.

I finished Apple in China (previously: 14/6 entry). A deeply disturbing read; revealing how dangerously dependent Apple is on China for manufacturing its products and supplying the necessary skilled workers for this. China is not a friendly ally and its relationship with the USA is fractious and precarious. Two articles by the author: “How Apple tied its fortunes to China,” 17/1/2023 and “What it would take for Apple to disentangle itself from China,” 18/1/2023. A couple of quotes:

“Sure, Apple was creating a lot of jobs, but it was also making a lot of money, so these things balanced out – China didn’t “owe” Apple anything. The job creation didn’t give Apple leverage; it just deepened its vulnerabilities and reinforced that it was the small potato. “I didn’t think Apple understood China very well,” he says. “I don’t think the American government does, either. They don’t get the culture of how the Chinese operate or how the Chinese government works. We approach everything from this Western mindset of fairness. The Chinese approach it from positional power — who’s got more strength?” (p. 226)

“Cook, often asked how he feels about all this, has suggested Apple is some kind of change agent. “Your choice is, do you participate? Or do you stand on the sideline and yell at how things should be?” Cook said in 2017. “My own view – very strongly – is you show up and you participate. You get in the arena. Because nothing ever changes from the sideline.” But White says Cook isn’t participating so much as being used – like when he accepted, in October 2019, a role as chairman of the advisory board at the Beijing-based Tsinghua University School of Economics and Management. “The role that they want Tim Cook to play is Useful Puppet, one that they can use for propaganda purposes,” she says.” (p. 310

Ideally manufacturing would be moved back to the USA for security reasons, but this is currently impossible (“Former Apple engineer on why iPhones cannot be made in the US,” 9to5Mac, 14/4/2025).

Was saddened to learn that a web developer, Jason Knight of CutCodeDown, had died last year on 23/5/2024; he had an acerbic style of writing but some good advice. He also had a Medium account with more articles, but those are unfortunately locked behind the site’s obnoxious paywall.

Wednesday 9/7: Centrelink phonecall outcome; Mac nostalgia; teen Luddites again

Sunny again, but with an unpleasant cold northerly wind – not as bad as yesterday’s gale though.

Phone interview with Centrelink this afternoon. My Jobseeker application has been approved, thankfully – but it looks to be half as much as the Carer Payment: $517.17 from 1 August for the Jobseeker Payment. I think this is per fortnight, so it will be only approximately $250 per week; barely anything!

Came across Anthony Agius’ Decryption blog via a Hacker News post, with some Apple Mac-related posts: “Trying To Find Meaning In Owning An Old Mac,” “Some Photos From The MAC Museum,” “Reflections On 20 Years As A Mac User On The 40th Anniversary Of The Mac.”

The story of the Mac’s birth makes me incredibly jealous. I wish so much I could be part of a project or a task that’s so intense, everyone is so passionate about and leaves such a legacy. Everyone involved cared so deeply about the computer they were building - even the things like documentation, usually an afterthought in most projects I’ve been involved in, were treated just as importantly as the hardware and the software.

Having spent the last few years oscillating between Linux, Windows and the Mac as my primary computer as I get more disillusioned with Apple as a company, Revolution in the Valley reminded me why I love the Mac. Apple and computing in general has changed so much since the 80s, but due to these amazing stories of the Mac’s development, using a Mac makes me feel something that Linux and Windows, or even iOS to be honest, simply do not. What that feeling is, I can’t quite explain but I should probably explore that in a separate blog post. (Review: Revolution in the Valley by Andy Hertzfeld)

“The teen ‘Luddites’ rethinking how they use tech ahead of Australia’s under-16s social media ban,” ABC News, 9/7. Profile of the New York City-based teen “Luddites” (21/12/2022 entry). Is this a reactionary trend amongst teenagers at the moment?

Thursday 10/7: Deceptively minimalist sites

Rain today; yuck. Walked to Bentleigh Library to use their WiFi; did not go anywhere else. Sometimes I am content just being by myself, sitting at my laptop and “noodling” with my website coding.

Came across a descriptive phrase: “Chickenshit Minimalism: the illusion of simplicity backed by megabytes of cruft.” Websites that appear lean and minimalist on their surface, but the underlying code is a bloated mess. An example is Gwern Branwen’s site: it has a “aesthetically-pleasing minimalism” design, but there is a huge amount of code when viewing the page source – 152 kb and 1663 lines of code, including inlined CSS. It is noticeably slow to load.

Friday 11/7: Centrelink Jobseeker payment amount; to use HTML5 or not?

To Chadstone SC by bus. Stayed at home for the rest of the day; cold as usual.

I received an outcome letter from Centrelink regarding my Jobseeker payment: the amount from 15/8 is to be $796.70 (nearly $400 per week); better than the $250 per week I wrote yesterday (10/7 entry) – that payment appears to be transitional. Still not close to the minimum living wage (“$948.00 per week [based on a 38-hour week]” according to ChatGPT), but better than nothing.

Am undecided whether to use some HTML5 page structure tags (<main>, <nav>, <figure>, <figcaption>, <footer>). The new tags have been in use for over ten years, but older browsers (which are still used by a few) do not support these tags. They also add more cruft to markup, and are arguably presentational – really no different to the now-deprecated tags such as <center> and <font>.

Saturday 12/7: Home fantasy; odd analog nostalgia; Steve Jobs on beautiful machines

I am gradually detaching myself mentally from my parents’ home, though I have yet to find somewhere else to live. I don’t do maintenance (I have not the skills for this anyway, and Dad used to do all such handyman jobs), and it continues to deteriorate. The house has been a place of great unhappiness and discomfort in the last few years especially. Living in it is still preferable to being homeless of course, but does not mitigate its unpleasantness.

The place I fantasise about: a smallish modern apartment in minimalist style, an interior color scheme of black/grey/white (like the colors I now wear – 25/3 entry), all-electric (no gas) for power and heating; modern appliances that are energy-efficient; proper insulation so that the interior is warm in winter; everything in good condition and functioning.

“From Taylor Swift to Tom Hanks: Tapping into the charm of the typewriter,” The Age, 12/7.

“Most of the people I deal with are kids, some as young as seven, up to people in their early 30s. So this isn’t nostalgia for their own past because they didn’t grow up with typewriters.” […]

Messenger has noticed that the majority of people entering this world aren’t collecting typewriters to sit on a shelf: they’re actively using them. As for the appeal of a machine that needs a ribbon, doesn’t allow the easy correction of a mistake and requires a new sheet of paper after each completed page, as well as greater digital dexterity – and force – of its user than a computer keyboard, he feels that it’s part of a wider trend.

“People are now making a conscious move away from digital back towards analogue,” he says. “I see parallels with the vinyl record revival. With typewriters, I think people see the same attraction. They want to write, and they don’t want to be disturbed and distracted by going on Google.”

Ugh, no – this trendy nostalgia for analog devices baffles me, having grown up in the era when they were the dominant technology! So clunky and heavy and inefficient compared to digital technology. The only factor in analog devices’ favor is that they can be sturdy, durable and long-lasting, and also repairable. The old manual typewriters that are the topic of the article can last decades.

A tidbit about Steve Jobs that I liked from Becoming Steve Jobs by Brent Schlender: “The physical design of computers engaged him more than anything else, and he took great pride in the beauty and functionality of the machines he oversaw.” (p. 186)”

Sunday 13/7: A cringe memory

Windy again! Rain due late today.

I read this post on Netigen, “A Patchwork of Truths,” about his being filmed unawares when awkwardly dancing, then being mercilessly teased about it later when the video was shown. “By the time I fully understood what was happening, inescapable horror had already taken root. My mother had kept the camera on me far too long. This was no longer about the show; she had recorded her son in a moment he believed was fleeting and far more private than possible. In that window of fevered dance, where I had once felt so alive and carefree, I then realized that it was horrifyingly absurd. I couldn’t dance at all. I was clumsy, unsightly, and hilariously out of step with the music. And every moment of it was preserved for display in technicolor before an audience of laughing peers. I literally crawled beneath the seats, so desperate to shrink myself and simply disappear.”

This triggered an empathetic cringe memory for me: during my 1990 Moorabbin TAFE Secretarial Studies course, my class undertook an exercise that involved filming a simulated interview for each student, then watching these later as a group. When my own session was shown on the screen, I looked very pallid and vague, and there was a dead silence from those watching (I had an eating disorder at the time, which affected me mentally and physically). I don’t know what the others thought – videos of others triggered much mutual merriment – but the now-vague memory still humiliates me.

Monday 14/7: No Silicon Valley for EU; stealth bloat

Took the train to see my parents at Camberwell Gables.

Via Hacker News: “Europe must ban American Big Tech and create a European Silicon Valley.” No, won’t work – the European Union is a stiflingly overbearing bureaucracy and so is a hostile environment for any Silicon Valley imitators. One HN comment: “Literally no to all of this. All these bad ideas are exactly why Europe can’t compete. You bring no positive ideas except requiring exactly what you want, and if you can’t, then tax or ban it. Stop looking for the nanny to take care of you, because this anti-consumer, anti-business viewpoint will help no-one.” (ecb_penguin) Text from a relevant meme image I found some time ago: “America innovates, China replicates, Europe regulates.”

“Liquid Glass? That’s what your M4 CPU is for,” Ibrahim Diallo, 16/6. On the resource-intensive cost of a pretty User Interface. “Let’s be real: eye candy always comes at a price. […] But while everyone’s drooling over the aesthetics, I’m sitting here having a serious Vista flashback. How many CPU cycles is this beauty actually costing us? Let’s be real: eye candy always comes at a price. […] It’s stealth bloat.” As I said in my 3/7 entry, I would like a choice of MacOS themes that included a basic one that was stingy with system resources, as Windows used to have.

Tuesday 15/7: Beardy boycott

Denny Henke of Beardy Guy Musings (previously: 6/7 entry) has a new page up on his site: Boycott, on what “Big Tech” companies he is now shunning. And Apple is one of these – as I noted before, he has done a 180° pivot in his regard of Apple, which is dismaying to see, and I think he is mistaken in his new-found zealotry.

Apple
If you’ve read my blog at all you know I was a long-time Apple user and fan. I drank the kool-aid years ago. Not any more. Never again. As with the others, their misdeeds often go hand-in-hand with the extreme capitalism that has become the norm of our time. At some point it becomes obvious that, yes, of course Apple is also engaged in these sorts of unethical practices.

But there was another reason for me to step away: Apple has all of the power in the relationship with its users. Why should any person willingly put themselves in such a relationship with a company? No. No thanks. This is perfectly illustrated by this story by Luke Kurtis published in Quartz in 2022: Apple locked me out of its walled garden. It was a nightmare.

But wait, there’s more. Just as you can be locked out of "your" Apple accounts, because Apple’s OS is proprietary, in some ways, you never really control your own computer as long as it is running Apple’s OS . Just one, easy to find example is explained in Jeffrey Paul’s excellent post: Your computer Isn’t Yours. Really. It’s worth a read. And while it provides an excellent example of what it means that macOS is a closed, proprietary OS, it is just one such example.

For good measure, here’s just the tiniest sampling, in list form, of why I’ll never buy new Apple hardware again and why I’ve stopped paying for Apple’s iCloud. I’ve minimized my use of Apple’s devices and no longer trust them as I once did. I never should have but it was the convenient thing to do.

Wednesday 16/7: Roommate from Hell; 2000s teen websites nostalgia

Had a mild headache this morning; an almost-migraine.

Came across SwankiVY’s/Julie Sondra Decker’s (previously: 18/1 entry) “roommate from hell” rant (linked to from her “College Years” page, during the 1990s), who had absolutely gross hygiene (or lack of hygiene) habits. A hazard of boarding with strangers, unfortunately. I would guess that “JW” was used to his mother cleaning up after him so never learned to do that himself. (Another observation from a photo on that page: American toilets have a much higher bowl water level than Australian ones! I’ve seen this commented on before, but it is still an alarming sight for one not used to it!)

“Remembering the early 00s teen website scene,” Sophie Koonin, 30/12/2023. I used to love visiting those sites, too! Hand-made websites that were lovingly crafted by their owners, all colorful and individualistic, unlike the boring Wordpress clones that are the norm now.

Most importantly, though: a lot of these websites were run by teenage girls and young women. It was a space on the internet for marginalised people where we could be ourselves, whether under a real name or an alias. Our families wouldn’t find it, and IRL friends wouldn’t either unless you gave them the URL of your site, so the like-minded audience that you had was very small and controlled as well. It felt like a really safe space to be yourself. None of the carefully curated content feeds that you get on social media these days (or even blogs these days, a lot of the time).

At the time, I was pretty unpopular at school, in part because I was such a computer geek (it was very much Not A Cool Hobby) and I used to spend breaks at school working on my website in the IT room. The group of friends I fell into – who I’m still very close with today – were all like-minded geeky types with our own websites. Seeing and interacting with these older teenagers online with these fancy domains and cool layouts made me feel like I was part of something and that my interests were actually socially acceptable.

Thursday 17/7: Toe-walking and autism

Via Hacker News, “Signs of Autism Could Be Encoded in The Way You Walk,” Science Alert, 16/7.

The most noticeable gait differences among autistic people are:

I have had a habit of toe-walking as long as I can remember; I did learn years ago that this was an apparent sign of autism.

Friday 18/7: Tax return lodged; digital detox dumbness; pestilent popups

I have lodged my tax return for 2024-2025! (2/7 entry). As it happens, my Government income was below the tax threshold, so I don’t have to pay any.

“Digital detox camp for screen obsessed teenagers,” 7:30 Report, 17/7 (video with transcript). A dumb trend in the current anti-tech hysteria is for hapless teenagers to be sent to so-called “Digital Detox” camps, where the participants are forbidden access to their smartphones. “From the time they arrive they start to build new relationships. And for many of them, that’s kind of been really difficult. A lot of them are escaping into the technology because they don’t do well socially.” Well, that would describe me – I have never enjoyed real-world socialising – and a smartphone would have been a blessing during my teenage years in the 1980s. Teens should not be forced to socialise if they are uncomfortable doing so. As I have stated before (14/3 entry) I love my iPhone as it connects me to the world and to others, and is a lifeline for me. I also love it as an object of utility and beauty; a technological marvel.

“Overlay Overload: Competing Popups Are an Increasing Menace,” Kate Moran for the Nielsen Norman Group, 1/8/2021. If there is one thing I dread about visiting ecommerce sites, it is the barrage of modals and overlays nagging a visitor to sign in/sign up/subscribe to emails/please donate and so on. I cringe in anticipation and snarl with frustration when the inevitable popup pestering begins.

Saturday 19/7: Sister here; signs of aging; more Miguel

Fine and sunny today, but an annoying strong cold northerly wind mars it.

My sister drove down to Melbourne yesterday for another week of decluttering and tidying my parents’ house.

Looking in a mirror, I realise that I am now showing my age; I can no longer be mistaken for a 30-year-old or similar. My wrinkles are evident; my skin no longer has a youthful sheen. My hands have the beginning of that “crepey” skin texture. It is not a cheering revelation.

For some levity, a recent comment from creepy Miguel (1/7 entry) on iJustine’s post:

Justine your not just beautiful, you are amazing, and the amazing view and that red dress my heart is pounding you deserve everything in life.

Your breathtaking, aww what could I say I am starting to re-read your book; but also I see someone I would love to also meet and to greet, that every man sees you but most likely the heart is more important, if your hometown would crown a home coming queen you come their in your native Pittsburgh and mops the floor with the rest.

Not even Steve Moyer will say DAAAAMN this little girl is now a woman that becomes a firecracker! And is true I will never regret it.

This is what you are in all the titles if you where to compete in a pageant.

Miss USA: Miss Pittsburgh Winner Justine Ezarik

Miss Home Coming Queen of Pittsburgh Winner: Justine Ezarik

Miss Universe Winner: Justine Ezarik Miss USA

Miss America Winner: Justine Ezarik

In other words you would sweep or mop the floor with all the pageant contestants, that’s how beautiful you are Justine.

Not just in the outside but on the inside too, and also my Looney Tune character I like to be.

I love Bugs Bunny but I have to go with Number 2!

Looney Tune Character I want to be: Porky

You also won my heart!

Justine you are the most beautiful woman on earth and you deserve better enjoy your beautiful life!

I ❤️You! 😍🥰

Sunday 20/7: Technophobic movie; anti-Apple perspectives

“Eddington Director Ari Aster Couldn’t Stand ‘Living in the Internet.’ So He Made a Movie About It,” Wired, 18/7. “Aster traces our current dystopian moment back to the rise of the smartphone. ‘Society has been atomized and fractured over the last however many years,’ he says. ‘I guess this all began once we started living in the internet – when we could carry the internet on our person. […] This is a movie about people living in different realities who are unreachable to each other,’ Aster says, musing that the modern internet has changed humanity in ways we likely still don’t fully understand. ‘I do think the technological revolution is a mostly dehumanizing one,’ he adds.” More technophobic nonsense (18/7 entry), here in the form of a movie; such sentiments are a dismaying trend.

Dave Rogers of Nice Marmot mentions Denny Henke (15/7 entry) and his more extremist stance (a dramatic 180-degree turn from advocate to adversary – a 6/7 entry) regarding Apple and ethics in a blog post, “A Good Life”:

I like Denny, I enjoy his blog and I understand his passion. But still:

You can agree to your own subjugation, that’s your choice. It may seem more convenient. It may seem comfortable. It may even seem pleasurable and safe. But in the end, you’re handing over your own fate.

To quote the noted philosopher Jodi Ernst, “Well, we are all going to die.”

Monday 21/7: Hi-tech utopias; tour of a data center

Took the train to see my parents at Camberwell Gables. Weather was fine (though that annoying north wind returned) and journey went well, thankfully.

“Dystopia or utopia? The futuristic visions driven by billionaires,” ABC News, 20/7. An overview of various plans for hi-tech futuristic cities by various privately-funded organisations and some governments. The article takes the by-now predictably technophobic and skeptical view of such proposals: “technology and capitalism have replaced religion in modern utopian dreams.“

“AI is driving data centre growth – and it’s bringing environmental challenges,” ABC News, 20/5. The title is a bit misleading as the main focus of the article is a tour of one of the Equinix data centers being built around Melbourne; quite an interesting read (I would not mind working there! Though I don’t know what I would actually do, given my lack of qualifications).

Tuesday 22/7: Last counselling session; ongoing housing crisis; more digital detox dumbness

Very strong gale-force wind and rain today.

My final session with counsellor (Provisional Psychologist) Hai Tran as she is unfortunately leaving for another assignment. Talking with her has been difficult at times but insightful into why I behave the way I do.

“Homelessness under Albanese government ‘worst in living memory,’ peak bodies warn,” ABC News, 21/7. On the dire shortage of public housing: “Homelessness rates, particularly for women and girls, have worsened under the Albanese government’s first term due to service underfunding and a lack of affordable housing, according to the industry peak body. The issue has reached its ‘worst levels in living memory,’ Homelessness Australia said.” An urgent issue that governments seem reluctant to make a priority. I need a place to live, but the prospects for this look dismal.

“Life Without Screens: This Camp Is a Teen’s Worst Nightmare,” Wired, 21/7. “With almost half of teenagers in the US saying they’re online almost constantly, the adults in their lives are growing more desperate to drag them off. Families are establishing screen-free zones in their homes, states are banning phones in schools, and a new kind of summer camp has emerged: digital detox camps, which can cost around $2,000 a week, and promise to wean attendees off screens by going cold turkey for the summer.” Another article on a “digital detox” camp for hapless teens (18/7 entry); a stupid technophobic trend.

Wednesday 23/7: Toothache; Gregory Smith

Slightly headachey this morning and a bit cranky due to a persistent ache in one of the two “watch spots” on my teeth (5/4 entry) – between the first and second upper right molars. I phoned the dental clinic and took the earliest at-short-notice dental appointment for 4:00 2:30 p.m. tomorrow (depending upon any cancellations). I’ve had that ache intermittently for a couple of years. Another filling (or two) imminent? (My last one was on 1/6/2013.) Annoying, considering that I brush 2 × day and floss and rinse after each meal, and avoid refined sugar as much as possible.

“I survived 10 years alone in an Australian rainforest. I didn’t want to be found,” SBS News, 23/7. I remember watching the ABC documentary about him, Out of the woods. He is an inspiring example of one who has overcome the depths of despair to make a success of his life. (A 2023 article: “Gregory Smith survived homelessness, addiction and abuse. Now he has an OAM.”)

Thursday 24/7: Dentist visit; Indigenous irritations

Dentist visit (23/7 entry). Saw Dr. Karen Chung, who was nice and helpful. She could not detect any visible decay in the upper right molars – but took a photo and x-ray of the area, and showed me that the last molar had quite a lot of wear from apparent grinding! I have not worn my mouthguard since last year, so I must be grinding in my sleep sometimes. Will have to start wearing it again (I thought I did not need it anymore), but I think I need a new one ($600+ !) – I mention getting one in my 21/2/2009 entry, so it is quite old! They are custom-fitted and expensive, but better than needing to repair tooth damage.

A rant that may offend many with progressive views, but I have to vent. One annoying trend in recent years by certain news agencies (ABC News and SBS, both government-subsidised) is the push of Aboriginal topics – mainly naming conventions – into articles that have no relevance to these. An example I found today that triggered this rant: “Shaun Naylor and his husband Benny Cole live on the Gold Coast, on the traditional lands of the Yugambeh people” – this from an article about on what types of dogs need to wear jackets in winter! The pandering towards Indigenous sensibilities has now reached ridiculous levels (from one extreme to another over a few decades). Given how divorced many people with Indigenous heritage are now from their ancestral lifestyles and culture, I have doubts about the veracity of such names and so-called “sacred sites” as it is now a couple of hundred years or so since colonisation. And don’t get me started about the misnamed “First Nations” moniker – a grouping of tribal peoples does not constitute the modern definition of a nation. Seriously, it is time to move on.

In my view, all citizens of a nation should be treated as equals under the law – no special treatment for ethnic groups (but disabled and elderly do deserve such treatment as these conditions affect humanity as a whole). Also, select a person for a position on merit – no filling quotas for gender or ethnicity. Hire the best person for the job.

Friday 25/7: Passive inertia

My sister’s husband drove here from Wagga Wagga yesterday and is staying with her. They will leave on Sunday.

Dull and overcast, with rain threatening. Feel equally dull and down. My counsellor, who finished her tenure at Better Health Network (22/7 entry), emailed me a list of contacts and such for further help, but I find the prospect of trying to contact them daunting, and I am sinking back into passive inertia. I urgently need to find housing so I can leave my parents’ home, but I am putting off looking and feel daunted by the process. Leaving here will mean transitioning to a lifestyle of instability and uncertainty, which so many others face with trying to find a place to live. It is particularly daunting for me as I have lived here all my life so far. I am staving off despair, and still feel that I might end up being found dead like the hikikomori in the Japanese documentary Dying out of Sight (31/3 entry) – if I don’t become homeless instead. And then I would give up and die. I would have no heat source and be cold all the time.

Saturday 26/7: Obligatory reporting; housing despair; when tech was awesome; elitist Mac

Still in despair (25/7 entry). Also as part of Centrelink’s Jobseeker “mutual obligation” I have to report every two weeks, just to emphasise that such payment is grudgingly granted (or that is the impression I get). If I don’t, my meager payment gets cancelled.

Sister told me that my parents’ home has to be sold within two years from last April, else it gets counted as an asset and their pensions will be reduced. So there is an obvious urgency for me to find elsewhere to live, but where do I go? I will have to transition to a transient lifestyle, at the mercy of landlords or flatmates, and my future there looks bleak.

I don’t agree with all of Rubenerd’s (Ruben Schade) posts, but this one resonated: “Being optimistic for technology.” “[…] there was also so much colour and personality in tech from the time. Apple weren’t the first to employ shockingly bright, translucent enclosures for their hardware, but the iMac set off a wave of such devices from alarm clocks to game consoles in the closing years of the old millennium. My most vivid memory from 1999 was walking into a recording studio, and passing the rows of all these iMacs and Power Mac G3s on everyone’s desks. It was cheerful, optimistic, and functional. I sorely miss that feeling.” The Internet was a new realm of boundless promise and information, and a way to connect with others and the world. (And, I assert that it still is, despite the dominating narrative of technological malaise in the media.)

I have accounts with “Big Tech” companies, and social media accounts. I still trust them to an extent, and don’t feel the trendy hostility that is another dominant theme now. The self-righteous evangelicalism of the Open Source community is a major deterrent for me; such a path involves a lot of inconvenience and compromises regarding software.

Louie Mantia is one of many critics of the upcoming “Liquid Glass” OS26. The extract below from “A Responsibility to the Industry” notes that Apple is no longer aimed at everyday users but has become an elitist product:

It is in Jony’s failure to recognize software as an equal to hardware, as a legitimate field with its own experts, that led to Tim making ultimately a very bad call to let people like Scott Forstall go. It is by giving Jony more power that fed his ego and allowed him to sell products like a $17,000 gold Apple Watch that absolutely no one needed.

The Macintosh was famously pitched as being the computer “for the rest of us.” The whole point was its inclusivity. That’s the vision I believe in. That’s the vision I trust.

Sunday 27/7: Sister departed; self-hating citizens

My sister and her husband departed for Wagga Wagga today.

Denny Henke of Beardy Star Stuff (20/7 entry) has had a small altercation with John Gruber, in this Mastodon thread:

John Gruber: Let’s say the coach of a team is trying to make the team lose. He’s still the coach of the team. The United States is the world’s oldest and largest democracy, the beacon of freedom, and the military that holds the free world safe. Trump is president. Though he is, I agree with you, working against the free world, he’s still the leader of it too. That’s what makes this whole thing so perilous.

Beardy Star Stuff (in reply to @SnowyCA – “The cradle to grave US indoctrination is so deeply imbedded in your brain you are unable to grasp reality”): Well said and thank you. Statements like Gruber’s only deepen the perception of Americans as arrogant and lacking self awareness. American Exceptionalism is no beacon, it’s an embarrassment. In his hubris Gruber is an interesting mirror of Trump.

The hubris of this guy Gruber: “The United States is the world’s oldest and largest democracy, the beacon of freedom, and the military that holds the free world safe.” American exceptionalism so deeply disgusts me. It’s offensive, insane and an attempt to ignore a violent history and social order built on genocide, slavery and greed. It’s the worst that humanity has to offer, not the best. Fuck all the way off with this shit.

Denny seems to have been fully radicalised, with the self-flagellation that many Americans of that particular viewpoint indulge in, spouting such nonsense as “The US is the world leader in genocide and abuse” (taken from that reply thread).

Monday 28/7: Wrong train; toilet troubles again? Housing stress; romanticising predators

Got on the wrong train at Camberwell Station enroute to seeing my parents, and gave that up for the day – alighted at Box Hill Station, took a city-bound train back to Richmond Station, then Frankston line back home. I felt too upset and disheartened to visit them today, and I would have had less time to stay.

Toilet is partly backing up a little again after flushing, which incites immense anxiety – could it be a tree root blockage like last year (28/5/2024 entry). I will have to deal with it myself if that is the case – Dad is no longer here for such tasks – and it will involve an expensive plumber callout.

I am stressing about having to move out within two years and finding somewhere to live (26/7 entry). The thought of having to share a place with strangers (whom I might not get along with) and being in a precarious living situation where I can be evicted is upsetting. And I will have no home to return to anymore. My rent limit is no more than $200 a week (Jobseeker payment is around $400 per week) including rent and Internet, and I must have my own room – I need my personal space and privacy. Nice extras would include a small bathroom and kitchenette (all I need is a microwave and a fridge/freezer). A self-contained flat would be ideal, but that seems too much to hope for. There are frequent news stories, such as one today on a woman being forced to live in her car,.

A Hacker News post about the reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone National Park, and the supposed benefits to biodiversity because of this. Wolves (and other predatory species such as sharks, which are a real menace to humans) are oddly romanticised in contemporary popular culture, as humans living with the comfort of modern technology and in cities removed from much of nature have lost perspective on the menace wolves used to represent to humans in past centuries.“[…] it was important to persuade people that wolves weren’t ‘bad/evil’ just predators that had lived there before.” (ChuckMcM)

Wolves prey on livestock (and humans – a hungry wolf would surely attack a vulnerable-looking human), and people relying on their livestock for food thus exterminated wolves when the latter were a threat. Ranchers in the region have certainly not been enthusiastic about the repopulating of wolves there: “I talked to a local who was friends with ranchers who now lose stock to wolves. They hate it. It’s an interesting use case of local control, is the greater good more important than the people who live there?” (rr808) And a lot of predictably hostile replies to that point.

Tuesday 29/7: Dawn phone call; more Indigenous irrelevance

Calm and sunny today. Mum’s cousin Dawn Harbour (15/6 entry) rang me today for a quick chat to see how I was going. She lives in Ballarat. Nice to hear from her.

Another ABC News article with an utterly irrelevant mention of supposed Indigenous prior land occupation (24/7 entry): “[…] says the 42-year-old from Albury-Wodonga, on the traditional lands of the Wiradjuri people.” The article is about “The toll on relationships when you’re in the sandwich generation” – nothing to do with Indigenous issues!

Wednesday 30/7: Older women housing crisis; democratic censorship

An article (well, video with transcript) I linked to back in my 3/10/2023 entry: “High rental costs forcing older women into shared housing,” ABC News, 2/10/2023. “Sharing is not something older woman would want to do. They’d rather have their own space, especially women who have lived on their own for many years.” And an earlier article from 2021: “Most of them, especially the women in their 50s, were not eligible for the aged pension and they’re on JobSeeker. They are the ones really slipping through the cracks.”

“YouTube to be included in social media ban for under 16s after exemption reversed,” ABC News, 29/7. Censorship is being imposed by technologically-illiterate Australian government bureaucrats, no thanks to moralising hysterics. Similar legislation is being enacted in other supposedly free democracies, such as the UK (“Age Verification Laws Send VPN Use Soaring – and Threaten the Open Internet,” Wired, 29/7) in the guise of the Online Safety Act 2023. This is a dismaying trend that makes such countries little better than authoritarian nations such as China or Russia in that regard.

Thursday 31/7: New counsellor

Had a telehealth session with a new counsellor, Linda Stinton – this one provided by Carer Gateway (17/12/2024 entry). I have a limited number of bulk-billed sessions (6). She was quite nice to talk to (she is in her 70s), though the initial “getting to know you” conversation felt awkward on my part. One of her topics was that getting a formal diagnosis of autism would help with support, though the process of doing so is expensive. I still feel that I am flailing around aimlessly with where to go from here regarding my situation generally – housing and finance are the most urgent issues. It is just so difficult to motivate myself into any sort of action, given my extreme passive inertia.

August

Friday 1/8: Sister’s birthday; macOS 26 resource bloat; anti-smartphone silliness; text rules

Sister is 53 today! A lovely sunny day after a chilly morning.

Comment from an r/MacOS post expressing concern (and echoing my concern) about macOS26 system resource usage (15/6 entry): “Anyone else dreadful the new OS26 will literally devour computer resources? The computing power to continuously render all that glassy gimmicks must come from somewhere and, hear me out, I need computing power to … well … apps and all that? […] Yeah. I feel there’s still a few of us longing for an utterly static OS with no fuckery and fireworks. Plain simple shit with no fancy distractions out of the box. I’m pretty sure this would mean a cut on computer resources that could be steered towards more effective behaviour, bc even if we disable all that, it remains there.” (Environmental_Lie199)

“I See Your Smartphone-Addicted Life,” The Atlantic, 22/5. The author is proud of never having owned a smartphone – a dumb attitude in my view. And a linked article from there: “The Dumbest Phone Is Parenting Genius,” 17/5, on some parents following a retro-tech fad of banning their children from using smartphones and installing landline phones instead. No way would I want to return to using a landline – I always hated answering phones and dreaded the sound of ours ringing. It’s notable that Jonathan Haidt is mentioned frequently – his hyperbolic assertions about smartphones being the root of a social malaise affecting children have been disputed.

“always bet on text,” frog hop, 13/10/2014 (via Lobsters). Text is the oldest and most reliable way to transmit information, including on computers. From one of the comments: “text is also the most efficient technology when it comes to bridging that last gap between the computer and the human mind. Send me a link to a news story that turns out to be a video, or an audio file, and I’ll close it unconsumed: I haven’t got that kind of time. Send me a transcript: I’ll finish reading in half the time it would take me to passively sit there while it played, and I’ll more clearly remember it.” I dislike watching videos but can spend hours reading text on the Internet.

Saturday 2/8: Books read; teens on smartphone usage

Another chilly morning but a sunny still day.

Some books recently read (which I managed to finish, despite my short attention span):

“Smartphones affect young people’s mental health so are dumbphones the answer?,” ABC News, 1/8. A few teenagers are asked about their using smartphones when young; opinions are mixed. I vehemently oppose any bans; access to the digital world and tech has been a lifeline for me.

Sunday 3/8: Vlog attempt; more media ban madness; Linux lacks accessibility

Another lovely sunny still day, but rain from late tomorrow to spoil things.

Had a go yesterday at recording one of my amateurish vlogs on my iPhone. Even a short 3-minute video at 720p takes up 176 MB of disk space, so I will have to move any such videos onto an external drive. If I ever upgrade my phone I will have to get 512 MB storage minimum. My voice when heard outside my own head sounds awful, and my Australian accent is just cringeworthy! Maybe speech therapy could improve these?

I noticed in Jenn McAllister’s autobiography (2/8 entry) that she uses Apple products, but these got only a bare mention in passing. Unlike iJustine (30/5, 4/6, 1/7 entries), her channel is not tech-focused.

“Gen Z grew up on YouTube. They say a ban is a blow to culture and community,” ABC News, 3/8. More on the unintended consequences of this stupid social media ban for children. SM is a way of connecting to each other and the clueless moralising adults who want censorship do not recognise this. “Thirteen-year-old Abby said growing up in the social media age could be stressful, but it also had its benefits. ‘I feel like at times I enjoy it. I like how it’s an easy way to speak to friends, and you can sometimes learn new things.’” eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant should be fired and the position abolished.

Via Lobsters, “You Don’t Own the Word ‘Freedom’: A Full-Burn Response to the GNU/Linux Comment That Tried to Gatekeep Me Off My Own Machine,” 26/6. “Fireborn,” a blind blogger, has several posts eviscerating the lack of accessibility options for disabled Linux users. This post is an angry retort to “the most smug, exclusionary comment I’ve gotten since starting this blog – and why the so-called ‘freedom’ they preach looks a lot more like a wall.” (I have previously remarked on the elitist hostility of the Linux community toward everyday users – 6/5 entry). As this post notes: “Apple and Microsoft may be flawed, but at least they write software that doesn’t tell blind users to fuck off by default. Your system breaks and then sneers at the person holding the pieces.”

Monday 4/8: Roommates not a desirable option; floor sleeping trend

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables. today – caught the right train this time, unlike last week! (28/7 entry.) Happy to see each other, as always.

Via Hacker News, “The case for having roommates (even when you can afford to live alone),” Gillan Morris, 31/7. If I were in that enviable position, I would definitely choose to live alone! The author seems to love to cook for others, which I assuredly don’t (not even for myself). Having to room with random strangers would send me into lockdown mode (barely functioning). Perhaps if I were a young adult again I might cope better, but as the linked article in my 30/7 entry noted, many older women prefer living alone in their own space.

“Will a ‘shikibuton’ make you ditch your normal mattress for the floor?,” The Age, 4/8. Japanese futon floor beds and similar are a trend amongst some, particularly those into the minimalist mindset. These are not as bulky and cumbersome as a mattress and bedframe. A futon does require some physical adjusting to, though. “While the specifics of a shikibuton set-up can vary between households, the cultural value of pragmatism and efficiency has never wavered; the storage convenience means a bedroom can be used for other purposes during the day, making it ideal for those who don’t have the luxury of sprawling living space but still need an office, living room and dining room.” And genuine ones are not cheap; several hundred dollars in Australia! A cheap alternative could comprise a roll-up foam yoga mat and a doona/quilt cover or sleeping bag.

Tuesday 5/8: Women prone to migraines; NeXT computer

A quiet day, which I don’t mind.

“Migraines are far more common in Australian women than previously thought, survey reveals,” ABC News, 5/8. I am certainly one of them, though mine are random and infrequent (last one was on 30/6).

For some reason I have found the history of Steve Jobs’ doomed NeXT computer and company interesting – there is a book about it, Steve Jobs and the NeXT Big Thing by Randall Stross (available from the Vintage Apple books page) that details the history. It is very critical of Steve, but he was admittedly blinded by his own hubris. Yet it was also an admirable attempt to create a unique computer that met his exacting standards for functionality and beauty. There is a small forum dedicated to the NeXT computer.

Wednesday 6/8: Apple no longer a fandom company; minimalist GUI concepts; more anti-tech scaremongering

“Apple ‘Fandom’ in 2025,” Nick Heer, 8/6. Another opinion piece on Apple no longer having the qualities that originally made fans of its users. The company has grown big and, perhaps inevitably, more impersonal. “Apple has all the money it could ever want. It sells some very good products. But its size has smothered the fire it seemed to have, and dulled its edge. There are still risky bets it could make, but all of them are necessarily softened by its critical position in the world’s economy and in retirement plans.”

A member of the NeXT Computers forum, Rhetorica (5/8 entry), has their own website. Two subsites of interest are their NeXT repository and their own concept for an operating system, The Lethe concept workstation – “Daydreaming about a new computer ecosystem.” I very much like the “visual design language” appearance in the linked mockup image – it is flat, clean with no extraneous eye candy and CPU-intensive graphics (“resource/stealth bloat” – 3/7, 14/7, 1/8 entries).

Mainstream media smartphone- and Big Tech hate continues, with tedious predictability. “What Kids Told Us About How to Get Them Off Their Phones,” The Atlantic, 4/8. “This digital technology has given kids access to virtual worlds, where they’re allowed to roam far more freely than in the real one. […] But most of the children in our survey said that they aren’t allowed to be out in public at all without an adult. Fewer than half of the 8- and 9-year-olds have gone down a grocery-store aisle alone; more than a quarter aren’t allowed to play unsupervised even in their own front yard. […] Yet these are exactly the kinds of freedoms that kids told us they long for.” Tellingly, Jonathan Haidt (1/8 entry) is one of the authors – he is a one-man industry peddling anti-tech scaremongering hate to anxious parents. He has a Substack account devoted to the topic. I now detest him. A comment from this r/YouthRights post: “Haidt is a notorious rightwing ‘anti-woke’ ‘anti-cancel-culture’ reactionary grifter and race science pusher, he definitely has no claim to being anti-oppression at all.”

As I have said before (14/3 entry), I love my smartphone! It is my connection to the world, a source of infinite knowledge, my portal to other realities on the Internet. I read books, watch videos, write notes, message others and a whole lot of other tasks that in the pre-digital world would require many different tools to be carried. My smartphone is a miracle of engineering, a device both beautiful and practical. I am tired of the scaremongering and hate for the devices.

Thursday 7/8: Blossom appearing; Census completed; counsellor session; older women sharehousing

Pink blossom is appearing on the flowering plum street trees; a hopeful sign of Spring, as always!

Counsellor session with Linda Stinton (previously: 31/7 entry); did this over Facetime today (on mobile data for me, of which I am using a lot). She is quite nice, and good to talk to. She is in her 70s. Not sure if the sessions will achieve anything, but I feel at a loss as to what to do, and abandoned by those whom I was seeing earlier this year.

Of relevance to my possible future, “Melissa moved into a share house in her 50s. More people are doing the same, The Age, 7/8. The woman interviewed, though, seems better-adjusted and more sociable, so share housing is not such a shock for her.

Friday 8/8: Pragmatic bribery? Sharehousing camera perverts; more Indigenous irrelevance

“Trump wanted a US-made iPhone. Apple gave him a gold statue,” ArsTechnica, 8/8 (and Macworld). “On Wednesday, Trump announced that Apple would be exempt from a threatened 100 percent tariff on semiconductors that could have driven up the cost of iPhones globally […]. In an apparent effort to secure this exemption, Apple promised to increase its total investment commitment in the US by $100 billion, while also gifting Trump a one-of-a-kind statue that Apple CEO Tim Cook had engraved with Trump’s name.” This gesture has certainly got Trump- and Apple-haters in a frenzy! As with the President’s inauguralation, perhaps not the best “optics” on Tim Cook’s part, but he may have given the gift out of pragmatism (one comment: “he’s playing some pretty deft hands in a game to keep his company out of the bullseye, and perhaps hoping for a future system not under the stranglehold of Republicans. I would not want to be him.”) Unsurprisingly, the move has generated a lot of hysterical hate on Mastodon. Myself, I am just neutral/indifferent, like I am to politics and world events generally. And of course I will continue to use Apple products.

Relevant to sharehousing (30/7, 4/8, 7/8 entries), “Chilean man spared jail time after filming female housemates with secret pen camera,” ABC News, 6/8. Cameras hidden by perverts for secret filming are a concern for women especially, and potential culprits would include the person or people whom they are paying board to.

How parents and guardians can help kids reduce YouTube use before the ban, ABC News, 7/8. More on this stupid censorship assault. Also another irrelevant Indigenous land name interjection (29/7 entry): “Despite this, she says YouTube has caused issues in the home she shares with her husband and young son and daughter in Geelong, on Wadawurrung country.” The ABC clearly has an agenda to push this wherever possible (as does SBS).

Saturday 9/8: Sister and niece visit; Tim Cook ≠ Nazi; Russia repressing Internet

My sister and her eldest daughter have driven and flown down to Melbourne for the weekend, mainly to visit our parents.

A recent Mastodon post from Apple-advocate-turned-hater Denny Henke (20/7, 27//7 entries): “Imagine Hitler with his Nazi arm band. Imagine all of the people under him, with their Nazi armbands. Imagine any businessman that might called in, standing in front of him, also with their Nazi arm bands. Now imagine Trump with his armband and Tim Cook. Imagine Tim Cook with his arm band. Imagine Apple headquarters, flags out front. And then there’s you. What will you do. Ethics are not easy. You DO have a choice.” (Beardy Star Stuff) Equating Tim Cook to a Nazi? Denny has really lost his perspective there. (If I keep mentioning him, it is because I am so dismayed at his stance, and how radicalised he has become this year.)

And I will reiterate that the USA is not a “fascist dictatorship” (10/4 entry); this is stupidly hyperbolic exaggeration by Trump-haters. (For my own part, I am just neutral about him.)

“Contrarian” is my attitude and opinions sometimes; I get a certain delight out of going against popular opinion on some issues – e.g. the current hate for Big Tech and smartphones (I feel the opposite way – 6/8 entry).

“Putin Widens Effort to Control Russia’s Internet,” NYT, 3/8. “Since the first decade of Mr. Putin’s rule, Moscow had been articulating a vision for what it called a ‘sovereign’ internet that would sever Russia as much as possible from the rest of the online world and strip power from foreign tech firms, which didn’t always give in to the Kremlin’s demands.” I would not want to live in Russia; the country is increasingly isolating itself from the West, and is ramping up its efforts to cut off the Internet too, following China’s lead. Speaking of living there, a recent ABC article: “They moved to Russia seeking a better life, but things backfired badly,” 1/8, about a family that moved to Russia to supposedly escape “corrupting” Western culture – “Derek and DeAnna Huffman decided to move from Texas to Moscow’s outskirts with their three daughters, who they claim were being subjected to ‘LGBT indoctrination’ in the US public school system” – but have become disillusioned with the reality of life there.

Sunday 10/8: Sister and niece depart; John Gruber on Tim and Trump; open-source fanatics react

A lovely, sunny, calm day – rare perfect weather.

My sister and her eldest daughter (my niece! I still find it hard to believe I’m an aunt – makes me feel old!) respectively drive and fly back to their homes today.

“Gold, Frankincense, and Silicon,” Daring Fireball, 8/8. John Gruber’s opinion on Tim Cook’s latest appearance with President Trump. A more nuanced view: namely that Tim Cook performed this gesture (gifting a specially-commissioned glass-and-gold plaque) out of pragmatism. He no doubt has moral qualms about this gesture, but in the present volatile political climate he has to consider what is best for Apple, such as the company being spared the crippling tariffs the President has imposed on other countries and companies.

But try reasoning that with the reactionary hysterics hating on Apple; the latter are incapable of such logic and are simply convinced Big Tech is irrevocably evil (“@chrisstoecker #timcook of #apple makes a gesture he never was forced to. He enables #fascism and should be prosecuted at the #icc The Hague. And we the people must stop buying Apple products. #BoycotApple” [René], to quote one such hyperbolic post from Mastodon). The open-source and Linux evangelist-advocates are akin to quasi-religious fanatics on a crusade to convert “heretics” who are using other Operating Systems.

I really appreciate your posts. My path and experience prevents me from fully comprehending the lock-in that people feel from windows and apple. They are clearly inferior. There was a powerful FUD campaign against gnu, Linux, and open source. I did love osx for a while until it was bent beyond recognition into its forcefully proprietary self. It’s just hard for me to comprehend. I see the attachment and fear that people have. But I have a hard time understanding, and there is nothing in my mind that I could say to point out a better point of view for them to look from. (Zenie)

Honestly, it’s not the operating system. Simply put, it’s Apple as a seller of sexy hardware. That is it right there. Nearly 100% consumerism, 100% marketing. Don’t get me wrong, most Apple users are happy with macOS and iPhoneOS and the convenience that comes with the ecosystem. But the hardware is what hooks them. Social status, etc. And, many/most just don’t care about computing ethics. Apple tells them that they protect privacy and most just accept it. (Denny Henke)

Yes, that would be me (just to be contrarian – 9/8 entry). Apple hardware is beautiful and well-made, and there is nothing that rivals it. Yes, its ecosystem is convenient; I have not the time or mental energy to faff around with endless configuration and tinkering just to get things working. And I do not give a damn about “ethics.”

Monday 11/8: Atomic bomb memories; BlackBerry film and book; Apple flip phone idea

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables. Dad watched a documentary on Saturday, The Burning Sky, on the largest Bikini Atoll atomic bomb test, and this triggered his memories of his being a part of the British RAF tests on Christmas Island – he and other “Guinea pig” servicemen witnessed five tests (2 H-bombs and 4 A-bombs according to Dad’s history). These had deleterious long-term effects for many. They stood out in the open, 30 km away from ground zero, and had to turn their backs and cover their eyes before detonation. They could see the bones of their hands in the intense heat and light flash.

Friday night I happened to switch my TV to a channel and catch the last half-hour or so of a movie, BlackBerry, about the rise and fall of the company that invented and manufactured the once-popular mobile devices, which were rendered obsolete after the debut of the iPhone. It interested me enough to read the book on which it is based, Losing the Signal: The Untold Story Behind the Extraordinary Rise and Spectacular Fall of BlackBerry. The book is a riveting read (the feeling of impending doom keeps one plowing through), showing how a successful start-up company (Canadian in this case) with an innovative device can ultimately fall victim to the hubris of its two founders.

RIM had arrived at the bridge every high-tech start-up must cross in the pursuit of long-term success. It’s the point at which a product triumph forces a fledgling company to shift from unfettered free-form innovation to the steely commercial discipline required to foster sustainable growth. In Silicon Valley, founders often fall by the wayside after innovations take off. Creative entrepreneurs are often poorly suited to managing business success. Venture capitalists have the upper hand because they typically demand major or controlling stakes when betting on risky start-ups.

The Blackberry’s addictive nature echoes that of smartphones today:

BlackBerry’s popularity introduced a new compulsiveness to modern communications. The corporate world had been the first to succumb: Intel chairman Andy Grove told USA Today in May 2001 that BlackBerry “should be reported to the DEA” it was so addictive, while Salesforce.com CEO Marc Benioff called it “the heroin of mobile computing.” Users were becoming so attached to BlackBerrys they couldn’t put them down.

Twitchy BlackBerry fans predictably drew critics and withdrawal strategies. A 2006 study by researchers from MIT’s Sloan School of Management warned that chronic BlackBerry users were developing “an inability to disengage from work.” Etiquette experts called for BlackBerry-free zones.8 One Toronto advertising agency penalized employees who overused their devices.9 In Chicago, the Sheraton Hotel offered to store handhelds for guests to allow them to “reconnect with the hotel experience.”

There are not-invalid concerns that Apple could be heading down the same path: it has gotten big and complacent, has too many products and has lost its focus, the advent of AI caught it off-guard and it has still not caught up.

I thought of my post from last year (15/6/2024, 17/6/2024) about Japanese flip phones, and an idea I had was for Apple to make a similar basic “affordable” phone, with a screen taking up half its length and physical keys the other, constructed from anodised aluminium and brightly-colored in all the Apple rainbow colors like the iPod Nano line (5th generation). As retro tech is a current fad, I reckon such a phone would be popular.

Tuesday 12/8: American hype is good; against enforced HTTPS

Feeling a bit cranky and irritable. I am just noodling, doing nothing to find somewhere else to live. The idea of sharehousing terrifies me (8/8 entry), and I would have a meltdown.

“American hype,” David Hansson, 17/7. A rare positive view for a change: “There’s no country on earth that does hype better than America. It’s one of the most appealing aspects about being here. People are genuinely excited about the future and never stop searching for better ways to work, live, entertain, and profit. There’s a unique critical mass in the US accelerating and celebrating tomorrow. The contrast to Europe couldn’t be greater. Most Europeans are allergic to anything that even smells like a commercial promise of a better tomorrow. ‘Hype’ is universally used as a term to ridicule anyone who dares to be excited about something new, something different. Only a fool would believe that real progress is possible!”

“Weaponising the Non-Commercial Web,” Bob Leggitt, 24/3. A diatribe against the HTTPS protocol, which I agree with. “HTTPS encryption, and its deliberate backward-incompatibility, is singularly preventing 1990s webtech from accessing current websites. Without it, any old browser could access any current HTML-structured page. […] Because HTTPS Everywhere was really about control, and money. For Google.” HTTPS encryption is simply unnecessary for basic static websites that do not require any visitor information (filling in forms, financial transactions, etc.). My own website can be accessed via HTTP also as I have deliberately not used the .htaccess command to redirect pages to HTTPS so as to enable access for old pre-HTTPS browsers.

Wednesday 13/8: Cyber nostalgia; dial-up vanishing

Via Hacker News, “Remembering Cyberia, the World’s First Ever Cyber Café,” Vice.com, 21/11/2024. A nostalgic look back at the cyber café culture in the 1990s, when dial-up Internet was the main method of access. “It had arrived at a perfect time; there was ecstasy in the air in 1994 and Eva wanted to make everything open-source. ‘It was all very utopian. We thought the internet would solve everyone’s problems. All we’d need to do was connect everybody and we’d have democracy forever. It didn’t quite pan out like that,’ Eva says.” I wish these cafés were still around as not everyone has Internet broadband access at home even today (myself being a case in point – 31/5 entry – still iPhone hotspotting at home, but this is hard on its battery life).

Also related: America OnLIne announced that it would discontinue its dial-up service from 30/9 (“AOL announces September shutdown for dial-up Internet access,” Ars Technica, 12/8). Some people still use it, mainly those in remote rural areas as an affordable method of Internet access. Kind of sad as it is another 90s technology vanishing. A poignant comment from the AS comment thread: “It was an exciting time there at the beginning. I taught myself the original html and put up a web site on GeoCities, where many others were doing the same, before outfits like Go Daddy were widely available. There was IRC where you could connect and chat with random people around the world, which was mind blowing at the time. It was a real blast, and the future looked so bright. The good is still there, but the evil becomes bigger every day.”

Dad used to subscribe to Chariot ISP, then one of the many small providers (the Archive.org link is the earliest one crawled, from 2002). The company eventually got cannibalised by TPG and now no longer exists (I had to get the old account transferred to TPG in 2023 – 24/10/2023 entry).

Thursday 14/8: Counsellor yesterday; Jobseeker mutual obligation

Telehealth session with counsellor Linda Stinton yesterday (7/8 entry). Bit of a struggle on my end to maintain a conversation, though she is nice to talk to. Reported online for my fortnightly Centrelink Jobseeker Payment that is grudgingly provided (well, that’s the impression given). There is a long-running Jobseeker thread on the Whirlpool forum that is not happy reading.

Today is a glorious bright, sunny, calm day. I should feel happy, but am continually anxious about my uncertain future now, and that saps any enjoyment out of everything.

Friday 15/8: Fascist hyperbole

In contrast to yesterday, an unpleasant cold northerly gale-force wind today with rain due from the afternoon.

Some “America is living in under a fascist regime” hyperbolic nonsense (to quote Denny Henke’s latest blog entry) via Mastodon: “The Trump administration is not setting the course for a four-year term. The Trump administration is setting the course for an everlasting dictatorship. If Americans don’t want that, the window to stop them is closing quickly.” (Andrea Junker) And more hyperbole: “And on top of that, there are the current political developments in the fascist states of America. Uneducated idiot, fascist, anti-democrat and narcissist with a severe minority complex – and best friend of child molester Epstein – Trump is turning the country into a fascist dictatorship, and the big American tech companies are bowing to the convicted criminal, most recently Tim Apple – ready to hand over all the data he demands and install surveillance tools, and not even stopping at Europe and Europeans.” (unixviking) And yet again (9/8 entry) I will reiterate that the USA is at heart a robust democracy and the current Presidency is an eccentric abberation.

Saturday 16/8: Dad drama; ChatGPT ocean image

Dad drama – text from my sister last night: “Dad was found in Mum’s room at 4:30am. He stated he was protecting her from intruders. After 5 mins staff managed to persuade him to go back to bed. A short while later Mum’s bed alarm went off again. Staff found Dad on the floor in her room. He denied having a fall or hitting his head. The Dr ordered a UTI test. Dad has been eating and drinking normally since then. Glad he’s there to get proper medical care!”

I wonder if he was hallucinating; perhaps had one of his blank-out episodes (4/3 entry). 19 years ago he had similar episodes – I found a doctor’s letter from 18/4/2006 when going through his papers a few months ago, for which I asked ChatGPT to summarise below:

Mr McHale has had 18 months of intermittent brief episodes involving disorientation, déjà vu, nausea/epigastric discomfort, and recovery without loss of consciousness – until a recent incident in April when he briefly lost consciousness in church. Episodes typically occur when he is lying down or very relaxed, never during activity. He sometimes has warning signs and can avert mild attacks.

A previous Holter monitor showed a 2.3 second cardiac pause and a minimum heart rate of 36, but his symptoms are not typical of arrhythmia. His neurological and cardiac exams are normal. There is no family history of epilepsy; he has a past history of migraine aura and osteoporosis, for which he uses testosterone cream (long-term) and had previously trialled Actonel.

The clinician suspects a primary cerebral disorder (possible focal seizures) and has recommended:

He is advised not to drive until the cause is identified and treated. If tests are inconclusive, empirical anticonvulsant therapy (e.g., Tegretol) may be considered. The clinician will review results and update the referring doctor.

When Dad was reminiscing about his atomic test viewings (11/8 entry) he said he thought that his “brain blank” issues might have been caused by the radiation fallout from these tests. A tenuous link at best, but who knows what long-term damage radiation could cause in the brain.

To another topic, I asked ChatGPT to “Create an image of a deserted beach that is flat. The teal-blue ocean is calm with only small waves breaking evenly. The sky is a deep ultramarine blue and is clear and cloudless. The atmosphere of the image is liminal and dreamlike. The sky takes up one-half of the image.” The image generated came out close to what I envisioned!

Sunday 17/8: GE hubris

So cold! Fine day but a cold northerly wind, and the house is cold inside, and I am chronically cold.

Am reading a book called Lights Out: Pride, Delusion, and the Fall of General Electric by Thomas Mann, another compelling tale of corporate hubris and mismanagement (11/8 entry). These businesses-gone-wrong books are addictive! I do have a preference for the topic of the tech industry, though. Could Apple be headed down the same path? It has grown huge and (arguably) bloated, diluted its focus on too many products and services, and badly “missed the boat” with implementing Artificial Intelligence. The old rationale that Apple comes in later and improves on a product is looking a bit stretched thin.

Monday 18/8: Landlords vs. pets; living off-grid expensive; anti-AI hysterics

“Tribunal sides with tenant in test of new laws on pets in NSW rental properties,” ABC News, 17/8. A new law was recently enacted in some states (including Victoria) that “a landlord cannot reject a tenant’s application to keep a pet without a valid reason.” A law I strongly disagree with – from personal experience (family pets), animals are unclean and will invariably urinate/defecate/vomit/shed fur indoors, not to mention bring in fleas! A massive health hazard and that is why I have no desire for pets – the cleaning-up afterwards is non-stop, and a residence can never be hygienic while a pet is there. Unfortunately pets are increasingly regarded as substitute children and are treated accordingly (and inappropriately). The clueless idiots at r/Australia are all for the law (forum post linking to the article) – Redditors generally are irrationally stupid and sentimental when it comes to animals. Some advocate for a renter to sneak in a pet and declare it later – which gives renters a bad name and will make it even harder to find a place to live.

I have similar opinions to Nayuki on pets generally:

When I lived in a downtown apartment, my opinion of dogs drastically worsened. I have firsthand experience of these negative experiences: Multiple neighbors who allow their dog bark at the door whenever there is any hallway movement/noise (including random people but also the owner entering home), barking from dogs ~200 m away that I can still hear through my window, neighboring dog owners hosting friends’ dogs when they visit, street lamp posts and corners and garbage cans being covered in pee every day, poop on the sidewalk, an unleashed dog running from behind me and dangerously cutting in front of my bike, dogs greeting people or especially dogs on the street by barking loudly, dogs shaking their spines even when their fur isn’t wet, dog owners habitually using their nearest schoolyard as a daily pooping ground.

Secondhand problems I am aware of include: Dog owner friends who report their personal belongings (headphones, etc.) getting chewed up, apartment property management sending out reminder emails against owners who let their dogs pee/poop in the balcony/hallway/stairs/elevator, the sheer sense of entitlement that dog owners exude about having a dog and not acknowledging that it can distress other people, news reports of dog bites and maulings – especially with children, and the fact that I know some dog owners with the cognitive dissonance that they unconditionally love their dog (no matter how annoying I find that dog to be) but say nasty things about some other people’s dogs.

“https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-08-17/off-grid-living-financial-and-psychological-benefits/105634758,” ABC News, 17/8. Off-grid living involves a lot of hard physical work and expense, though: “Their first major task will be switching the home to solar, for which they have budgeted about $25,000 to include up to 24 panels and a few batteries. […] They have already spent $45,000 on their driveway and access. They expect to spend $18,000 on improving the septic system, $3,000 on adding two additional water tanks, and $25,000 on upgrades to the house.” One is also still depended upon technology to enable that lifestyle – the manufacture of solar panels involves sourcing the components and materials from various overseas locations.

The anti-AI scaremongering in the mainstream media is relentless. (I am not opposed to AI, though I have as yet made little use of it.) A creative whinges, “Tech lords are promising us utopia. Their brave new world might be a dump,” The Age, 17/8. I struggle to sympathise – a lot of human-created published work (children’s fiction books, in the case of the author) is utter crap: trite, forgettable stories. This anti-tech, over-regulatory sentiment is what makes Australia a laughing-stock in the technological world, and holds us back from advancing in that realm. I agree with President Trump’s move to deregulate AI as described in another scaremongering article linked from there, “Donald Trump’s Gift to AI Companies.” The AI GOV website describes the plan. And a link to the actual document: Executive Order 14179 – Removing Barriers to American Leadership in Artificial Intelligence. A ChatGPT summary of the Order:

1. Purpose (Section 1)

America wants to keep its edge in AI – by cutting away rules or directives that might slow innovation, especially those seen as embedding ideological biases or social agendas.

2. Policy (Section 2)

The government’s aim is clear: to sustain and enhance U.S. global dominance in AI, serving human flourishing, economic competition, and national security.

3. Definition (Section 3)

“AI” is defined exactly as in federal law – 15 U.S.C. 9401(3). That keeps it grounded in established terminology.

4. AI Action Plan (Section 4)

Within 180 days, a team – led by the Assistant to the President for Science and Technology, with support from the Special Advisor for AI and Crypto, the Assistant to the President for National Security Affairs, and other senior executive officials – must coordinate across agencies to craft and deliver a plan that realizes the policy stated in Section 2.

5. Implementation of Revoked Policies (Section 5)

The same leadership team must immediately review all policies and actions tied to the now-revoked EO 14110 (Safe, Secure, and Trustworthy Development and Use of AI). They’re to pinpoint which parts conflict with this new policy and move to suspend, revise, or rescind those parts – or at least issue exemptions until formal changes can happen. Plus, the OMB Director has 60 days to revise two OMB memoranda (M-24-10 and M-24-18) to align with this directive.

6. General Provisions (Section 6)

This order doesn’t override existing agency authority or how the OMB operates. It must be carried out within lawful boundaries and budget constraints. And it doesn’t grant anyone any enforceable legal rights.

Signature & Filing

Signed by President Donald J. Trump, January 23, 2025. Filed with the Federal Register on January 30, 2025; published on January 31.

Tuesday 19/8: Cold and calm; Wordpress a bloated mess

A fine and lovely calm day, but a chilly morning; not much over 1°C. The only thing making it bearable in this cold house is the lounge room gas heater.

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables yesterday. A rather subdued and sad visit. Dad could remember nothing of his sundowning episode on 16/8, unsurprisingly. He is on the mental and physical decline like Mum, but is in denial of this. I simply do not press the issue.

I was looking at the source code of one of the bloggers I visit, Chris Wiegman. He has transitioned his site management back to Wordpress again. But Wordpress is a hugely bloated CMS and the seemingly simple visual appearance that a browser shows has 3186 lines of code “under the hood” – the actual <body> text does not begin until line 2520! Before that, inside the unseen <head></head> tags are bewildering dumps of CSS and Javascript links and inline code. Tags have multiple classes appended to them, such as this random div: <div class="wp-block-group alignfull has-base-color has-main-background-color has-text-color has-background has-link-color wp-elements-7a7c52838ef98158a32d129b0aad2ec4 has-global-padding is-layout-constrained wp-container-core-group-is-layout-a4eb389b wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained" style="margin-top:0px;padding-top:var(--wp--preset--spacing--small);padding-right:var(--wp--preset--spacing--medium);padding-bottom:var(--wp--preset--spacing--small);padding-left:var(--wp--preset--spacing--medium)"/>. Ugh! That is why I stick to plain old handcoded HTML, despite the inefficency of my site maintenance (doing everything by hand) – it is relatively lean and portable, and should hopefully be readable for decades. And viewing such bloated websites uses up bandwidth and demands a lot of a computer’s memory also.

Wednesday 20/8: Flip phone fancy

Another glorious sunny calm day, after a cold morning! Still cold inside this house, though.

An old article, “Why Japan’s Cellphones Haven’t Gone Global,” NYT, 19/7/2009. I have said before (15/6/2024, 17/6/2024, 11/8 entries) that I like the aesthetics of keitai, and I rather wish I could own one! This article explains why they never became popular outside of Japan as they were extremely specialised for that market.

Thursday 21/8: Waste-to-energy facility irrationally rejected

Another fine, sunny, calm day!

“Controversial Lara incinerator fails to ignite,” The Age, 20/8. “A proposed waste incinerator in Victoria’s west, fiercely opposed by locals and both state and federal MPs, has failed to secure government approval. The large waste-to-energy facility earmarked for Lara would have been the first in a so-called ‘ring of fire’ of projects circling Melbourne, and would have burnt about 400,000 tonnes of waste every year, generating 35MW of electricity.” What a stupid, selfish decision on the part of those who opposed this plan. Burning rubbish to produce energy is an ideal way of hygienically disposing of waste that would otherwise go to landfill, and acting as another energy supply source for the surrounding suburbs. “Recycling Victoria said the cap was designed to prevent over-reliance on waste-to-energy incineration as a solution to the state’s waste disposal.” Well, there is only so much that can be done to reduce waste – it is unrealistic to expect people to sacrifice convenience for some fatuous environmental benefits – so burning waste is a viable alternative. And as energy is in ever-increasing demand, the more methods of producing it, the better!

Friday 22/8: Photo sorting; in favor of cars

Overcast with rain due late today, so the nice weather is over.

Made an attempt to sort through some of my hundreds of photos – those taken by myself, and ones from analog developed film, rather than digital. A mentally exhausting task. Dad also has hundreds of his photos (he was the main photographer of our family) which would ideally be digitized but I do not have the energy to undertake this. Mum also has some old photos, but she was never interested in photography as such. The main problem with printed photos is that they get so heavy, whether stored in boxes or in albums. But they hold valuable images of long-deceased relatives so I do not want to purge them. Also what happens to them when I die in turn? The photos will be meaningless to outsiders.

Via Hacker News, “In Defense of a Car-Centered Society,” 21/8. The comments on HN are mostly anti-car, predictably and annoyingly enough – but one or two generations of constant environmental doomerism has had that effect. No, I do not want to ride a bicycle in inclement weather; an exercise in torture. Public transport is often not adequately frequent or conveniently-located (and, realistically, never will be).

Saturday 23/8: MAX malware mandated; social media scaremongering

“Meet MAX, the ‘chilling’ new development in Vladimir Putin’s ‘digital iron curtain’,” ABC News, 22/8. More on the mandated app spyware the Russian Government is imposing on its citizens, as part of its walling-off Internet access to the West (9/8 entry), following China’s lead. Dismaying developments; am glad I do not live there.

“The Tweens Down Under: Life Without Social Media in Australia,” Wired, 18/8. Australia’s own regrettable move towards censoring the Internet for supposedly at-risk “tweens” (those in between middle childhood and adolescence, 8-13 years old). “Australia, by contrast, fast-tracked its prohibition: Annabel West, a lawyer and mother in Adelaide, read Jonathan Haidt’s book The Anxious Generation, and told her husband – South Australia premier Peter Malinauskas – that he had to do something. He proposed legislation in his small state, and it rapidly gained support across the country. A few months later, the social media ban was signed into law, making Australia the first country in the world to make such a move.” So on the misinformed whim of a politician’s wife, who read Haidt’s dubious anti-tech rants (6/8 entry) and was conned into believing them, this censorship has been imposed? Patronising and pathetic.

“‘Parents want their kids off their phones and on the footy field,’ Prime Minister Anthony Albanese told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation last fall after the national ban was proposed. ‘So do I.’” Uh, no thanks? There are children who hate sport (like I did) and for whom the Internet is a lifeline. No way should they be forced into activities that upset them.

Sunday 24/8: Book read: Breaking Twitter; Councils climate cutbacks; Nature’s straight lines

Planned power line works nearby today: “We’re conducting critical works on the electricity supply to maintain the network in your area. We do not anticipate that your power will be interrupted however there is a possibility that your address may be impacted between 08:00AM and 04:00PM.”

I read Breaking Twitter: Elon Musk and the Most Controversial Corporate Takeover in History by Ben Mezrich, a “dramatic narrative account” of Elon’s chaotic acquisition. A compelling read, though some of the descriptions were a tad … odd? Excessively colorful? (“Text after frantic text ricocheting across cell towers all over Silicon Valley, tiny packets of excited electrified molecules streaming through the air of his sleepy neighbourhood and plunging into the sophisticated hunk of Apple engineering nestled in a fold of pocket by his chest.”) Perhaps a method of padding out the word count. Elon is not flatteringly portrayed; he is presented as almost bipolar or having some mental health issues partly due to alleged drug use, with his increasingly erratic behavior. (He is now a divisive figure of hate due to such behavior and his politics in recent years, a contrast to his idol status before.) As with President Trump, I am neutral on my feelings about Elon. (He was born in 1971, so only a little over 6 months younger than me – and contrast my dismal little life with his.)

“Little life” – part of a book title and have been thinking how much the phrase applies to my own life (insignificant; will be forgotten after I die; one of those anonymous millions who are born, live then die in obscurity, lost to history).

“Fiscal restraint or culture wars? Councils winding back climate action,” The Age, 25/8. “Councils across Victoria are scaling back climate change commitments, removing the words ‘climate emergency’ from key documents and, in some cases, scrapping programs.” And so they should – councils should focus on local issues rather than this annoying (and expensive) virtue signalling. Unsurprisingly some are blaming this stance on outside influences: “He noted the timing of the local council elections in Victoria playing out at the same time as the most recent US election, and said some of the ‘back to basics’ rhetoric was obviously imported from overseas. […] Chou said in some cases ‘back to basics’ focuses on ‘roads, rates and rubbish’ were being used as a ‘Trojan horse’ for more extreme views.”

Via Hacker News, “The Importance of Counter-Clockwise Dance Rituals,” Ted Gioia, 21/8. This turns out to be something of an anti-tech rant (with digs at the iPhone and Tesla Cybertruck), unfavorably contrasting the geometric rigidity of technological society and cites with the organic curves of the natural world. “The pervasiveness of straight lines and box-centric lifestyles in today’s culture is a warning sign that we are fostering a psychically claustrophobic society – one that obsesses over STEM rationality, prefers numbers over emotions, fears lived reality, and cuts itself off from holistic thinking. There are no straight lines in nature, McGilchrist points out, except for the horizon – and even that is an illusion. The horizon is actually curved, like Earth itself.”

I sidetracked and went to ChatGPT to fact-check that often-repeated truism, and part of its answer gave examples of natural straight lines:

Geometric/Mathematical Straight Lines: a perfectly straight line, as defined in Euclidean geometry, is an abstract concept – infinitely thin and long, with no curvature. These do not occur perfectly in the physical world, because:

Examples of Approximate Straight Lines in Nature – despite the above:

Monday 25/8: A home in return for live-in care?

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables. I feel sad and nostalgic afterwards, though; thinking of relatives now deceased, of our lives decades ago.

A suggestion from a financial journalist Alan Kohler opinion piece on productivity, this being a suggestion by him to help alleviate the housing supply crisis:

A data scientist named Erin Rolandsen has started a business called Angel Assist to find people to act as live-in helpers for mainly elderly people who want to keep living at home but need a bit of help.

The deal is that the "helpful housemate" agrees to do 14 hours of active helping per week — shopping, cleaning, gardening — in return for free board and food. It’s also expected that they would sleep there at night in case something happens. The person can work full time as well as do the 14 hours of helping.

The idea has a number of benefits: it relieves the government from paying for a home care package, which can run to thousands of dollars; it keeps people out of nursing homes; it uses a spare bedroom in a house that is too big; and it takes someone out of the rental market. The live-in helpers are often women aged over 50 who are “housing insecure,” sometimes homeless.

Erin asked the government to pay the one-off $2,999 fee to help find the “helpful housemate” as part of the home care package system, but was turned down flat, even though it would be much cheaper.

Good idea in theory … but I have endured such a role with my parents when they were still here at home, and I do not want to repeat it again! It would be a last-resort option.

Related ABC News article: “Readers on the challenges and guilt around caring for an aging parent,” 20/8.

Tuesday 26/8: Gas bill; no desire for a landline

An unpleasant gale-force northerly wind as a cold change approaches. Sky is overcast and leaden.

Another unpleasantry: gas bill today, for $263.30. Electricity bill also will arrive later this week, for over double that according to the current projection.

Completed the annual renewal application form for my Health Care Card also.

“Come on, parents, let’s bring back the landline,” News.com.au, 23/8. Another retro-tech nostalgia article, a stupid trend in my opinion. “Before the days we all had a mobile phone glued to our hands, one household item was our only contact with the outside world. With the under-16 social media ban coming into effect, I couldn’t help but wonder, would teens benefit from bringing back the landline?” An emphatic no from me – I have no desire to install a landline again! I used to hate and dread the sound of it ringing; telephone phobia is a very real condition! Curiously, I don’t feel so much anxiety when answering my mobile phone. I still prefer texting and emailing to talking though.

Wednesday 27/8: Those left behind; social media salvation; killer whale documentary

Mildly headachey overnight and into the morning. A cold front blew through yesterday evening, with some heavy rain overnight. Rain most days, into next week.

I read a book a few weeks ago, The Forgotten Girls by Monica Potts – “A memoir of friendship and lost promises in rural America.” The author grew up in the impoverished town of Clinton, Arkansas, and she narrates her life story and how she escaped and made a success of her career, but her compatriots who remained behind fell into drug addiction and continued poverty – she focused on one of her former friends, Darcy. This review by Bilikinsgirl86 was particularly insightful (I will reproduce it below as Amazon is such an ass now when it comes to linking to such):

Interesting and heartfelt stories BUT …
I came from an extremely similar background as the author (poor, small town girl who went to elite colleges and spent most of her 20s and 30s on the East Coast), so it’s always interesting to read stories like this (as it’s pretty rare to be able to “make it out” of a small rural town). Her stories are indeed interesting and quite heartfelt, and you definitely root for the author as she gets a taste of big city life and improves her circumstances.

The problem: the author frequently jumps to conclusions and paints religion and southern, conservative culture with the brush of an emotionally immature, angry teenager. Religion is “stupid,” those who oppose abortion are “often” white nationalists, people who attend local universities end up with unimportant lives, etc. She states that she does not expect everyone “to attend Harvard or Bryn Mawr,” but spends the rest of the book describing just how sad it is that not everyone followed her specific path. (I felt the exact same way 20 years ago, but as someone who is nearly middle-aged today, I’ve changed my perspective and understand that other people, too, have worthy lives regardless of how much money they have or what they do for work.) I expected her to mention what those of us from this situation know: that many small town girls do fall into drugs and crime, but others (a good number, in fact) make the best of their circumstances and go on to live quite happily. She never seems to be able to reach this conclusion or benefit of the doubt, though, instead painting her entire town as full of unhappy, underachieving people with broken dreams and poor decisions. She rails against early pregnancy (not just teen pregnancy, but even in people’s 20s …) – even though getting pregnant in your 20s is not exactly life-ruining. (In fact, biologically it is preferable for a number of reasons …. I and most of my friends are now resorting to expensive fertility treatments because we waited far too long!)

Perhaps most unfairly, she scoffs at the well-wishes and religious/fatalistic rationalizations of townspeople in response to a tragic event. Anyone who has ever lost a family member knows that people – regardless of education or wealth – offer the exact same un-insightful comments: “it was meant to be,” “there was nothing you could have done,” etc. This is not a stupid southern thing; human beings are simply uncomfortable with death.

There are poignant moments in the book, the author does a fantastic job of describing her personal journey as well as her friend’s struggles, and she’s not entirely unlikeable. It’s the lack of perspective (even now), and lack of respect for other people’s lifestyles, that leaves an unpleasant aftertaste.

It’s an elitist mindset in the manner of Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s infamous “basket of deplorables” remark; unfeeling and utterly out of touch. Nonetheless, despite the author’s somewhat annoying asides where she speculates and lectures on the issues the reviewer noted, the book is a recommended read.

“How online friendships saved me in my teens,” ABC News, 26/8. A rare positive portrayal of social media – an isolated teenager describes how she found a supportive online community. “Social media gave me safety, even though I know my experience could have been very different. I was lucky. I escaped the negative aspects of the online world and immersed myself in the positive ones. I was also lucky because the federal government hadn’t yet banned social media for people under 16. I found disability pride and community in 2019, but only recently did I finally find sisterhood. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d been banned from those sites as an adolescent. I’d be angry, for sure. And scared. I’d probably have tried to keep using the platforms with which I was familiar.”

(And at the end, another irrelevant Indigenous reference – 8/8 entry: “Laura Pettenuzzo (she/her) is a disabled writer living on Wurundjeri country.”)

I watched an ABC documentary last night, Killer Whale: Australia’s Megapod, about the decades-long monitoring of a particularly large group of the marine predators: “Orca are the apex predators of the ocean. A recently discovered population in Bremer Bay, WA has managed to achieve the impossible – hunt and kill a blue whale – the largest animal to ever live. So, how did they do it?” They are seriously scary and formidable creatures, very intelligent and sociable. I have to wonder if they would attack a human should the latter fall into the water? The wild orcas looked healthy and happy, in contrast to the sad creatures imprisoned in captivity – worth reading is a 2010 Outside Online article, “The Killer in the Pool,” about one such psychologically damaged captive, Tilikum, who deliberately killed his trainer.

Thursday 28/8: Nomadland

I am reading Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century by Jessica Bruder, a portrayal of middle-aged and older Americans who live in vans or cars and travel around the country in search of seasonal work, most out of necessity rather than from a lifestyle choice. They are an example of the working poor, who may work hard all their lives but never escape beyond the poverty line and barely make ends meet. They can’t afford to retire.

An interesting Redditor whom I mentioned in my 26/5 entry, Realistic_Read_5956, gets a mention in the book:

One of the most active members of “Live in Your Van” was a gregarious wanderer called Ghost Dancer. On January 1, 2002, Ghost Dancer was parked outside a McDonald’s on Highway 41 in Vincennes, Indiana, in his home, a brown 1989 Ford F150 pickup. He’d heard that the changeover deadline for message boards was the end of the day. He worried: Were his new friends, already scattered across the country, about to lose their clubhouse on the internet? Not knowing what would happen was eating him up, like the buildup to Y2K writ small. Yet he had done nothing to prepare.

When the solution came, it seemed obvious: Why not create a new gathering place before the old one went dark? To do this, Ghost Dancer couldn’t just stroll into McDonald’s with a laptop. For starters, he didn’t own a laptop, and WiFi hotspots wouldn’t be ubiquitous for another a few years.

So he jury-rigged an internet connection between the pay phone and the limited equipment he carried in the truck. “Freejack style,” he called it. The setup relied on a Konexx acoustic coupler: a device that attached to a pay phone handset to receive and transmit analog data by holding a microphone to the earpiece and a loudspeaker to the mouthpiece. The other end of this coupler was plugged into a WebTV box, which had a built-in modem and offered basic browsing services; such boxes had started appearing in the mid-1990s, when computers were more expensive and less intuitive. To save space, Ghost Dancer had hung the WebTV from his CB radio. From there, it was connected to a thirteen-inch Philips television sitting on the passenger-side floor. After hours of fiddling with the setup, he fed thirty-five cents into the pay phone to get online, then logged into Yahoo and started a message board called “Vandwellers: Live in Your Van 2.” He was proud of that success, a bit of cyber-McGyvering that became a well-worn tale and led one popular blogger to call him “vandwelling’s founding father.”

Only later did Ghost Dancer realize he’d screwed up. Working across time zones, he’d blown the purported deadline by a few hours. It didn’t matter, though. Members followed him over to the new message board.

He alludes to his involvement in some posts (1, 2).

Friday 29/8: Ludicrous 30 km/h limit; liking a Ford Ranger

“School zones, city streets set for 30km/h under new speed limit rules,” The Age, 29/8. The ridiculous threatened 30 km/h speed limit (23/11/2023 entry) is being imposed: “Traffic will be slowed to 30km/h around some schools and busy pedestrian areas, after the government quietly cemented it as a standard speed-zone option.” Utterly impractical and sure to add even more frustration to driving, though it will make the anti-car fanatics happy. Councils seem to be populated with environmentalist activists who are out of touch with what most people want in regards to local issues (roads, rates, rubbish).

I mentioned back in my 16/9/2023 entry that I liked Ran Prieur’s truck of then, a light blue 1997 Ford Ranger; I still do for the same reasons and have an irrational wish for one! I don’t think that model was released in Australia, though.

Saturday 30/8: Gales; minimalist color scheme?

Extremely strong gale-force winds blasted through Melbourne overnight. These winds seem to occur this time of year, before the onset of spring in September.

Am trying out a new color theme for my website: minimalist monochrome! Here I use a very limited palette of the HTML basic named colors: black, gray, silver, white. These reflect my current clothing palette (also monochrome – 26/3 entry) and one of my favorite colors, teal – I favor blues and greens, so this combines both. The scheme applies to my whole site as this is easier to maintain, rather than the previous one color for each sub-site/folder. I will try it and see how I like it.

Sunday 31/8: A brief visit; fleeing to the High Country

Weather dull and overcast, but that awful gale and cold front have passed.

My sister, her husband and youngest son (my nephew, third of her fourth children) visited briefly this weekend, to dismantle and take away the cumbersome and heavy display cabinets that Mum kept her glassware, crystal and so on in. Good riddance to them! Another item I would never want cluttering up a home. My nephew joined the Army earlier this year (sworn in on 19/5) and has completed basic cadet training at Duntroon in Canberra; a very challenging ordeal! The cold is the worst part of it, according to him – the training grounds are near Canberra and temperatures regularly get below freezing. A few in his group dropped out for various reasons (injury, missing family, simply not coping with training) but he seems to be thriving. He is in officer training and will be a lieutenant when he graduates.

Decided to revert back to multi-colors for my website (30/8 entry); I just prefer them!

Couple of articles relevant to the current manhunt for the fugitive who shot dead two police officers: “The daring, the desperate and the deranged who seek the High Country,” The Age, 30/8 – “This week, some romantics have begun speaking of the mountain fugitive Dezi Freeman as a sort of modern Ned Kelly, for no better reason than the Kelly Gang in the late 19th century vanished regularly ahead of their pursuers into the mountains of north-east Victoria”; “Dezi Freeman isn’t the first fugitive to flee into the Australian bush,” SBS News, 29/8: “Ned Kelly and other bushrangers operated in rural areas in the late 18th and 19th centuries, hiding and escaping into the bush after committing crimes. In more modern times, accused murderers have deployed the same tactic to evade the law.” Ned Kelly is something of a folk hero (though a controversial one). The High Country includes the Australian Alps, around Mt. Buffalo – its placenames and environment familiar to me through the classic Silver Brumby stories that I loved as a child, and still do (16/2/2020, 19/1/2024 entries). I did spend around a week up there as part of a school year group holiday.

The Covid lockdowns created a lot of mental distress for many people, and the increasing visibility of individuals with these fringe beliefs are one consequence of them.

September

Monday 1/9: Indigenous seasons; lawn lengthening; Treaty travesty; CSS puzzle solved?

First day of Spring, and typical weather for this time of year – a lot of strong winds. Mornings are still cold, but the winter chill is no longer evident. The Indigenous seasonal calendar for Gariwerd (Victorian region) is, unsurprisingly, more accurate, with 6 weather periods – pre-spring (nesting birds season) has passed into proper spring (wildflower season).

I did not go out at all today – just did not feel like it – so I did not visit my parents. My sister, her husband and my nephew did visit them on Saturday, though.

The lawn around the house has started growing vigorously, so I called the Jim’s Mowing gardeners who came last year; they said they would call back Wednesday to arrange a time for Thursday. So I hope that works out. Dad did buy a lawnmower a few years ago, but it is a 2-stroke petrol-fueled model and I do not feel at all confident trying to operate it as I have no familiarity with engines; I wish he had bought an electric- or battery-powered one. I really hate gardening and the huge amount of maintenance gardens entail.

“Tip of the Spear: How things will change under treaty,” The Age, 1/9. I strongly disagree with the imposition of this so-called treaty; it favors one group rather than treat all citizens as equal under the law (despite the supposed reassurances in the text). It is yet more appeasement at great (taxpayers’) expense, and the parties involved will never be satisfied; just demand more and more recompense.

Treaty legislation drafted by the Allan government and seen by this masthead reveals that elected members of the First Peoples’ Assembly will have extraordinary access to government, with power to make representations to the cabinet, individual ministers, departmental secretaries and both houses of parliament and conduct briefings with the Victoria Police chief commissioner and state-funded service providers.

Cabinet meetings attended by representatives of the Assembly will be conducted at least twice a year and bound by confidentiality. The Assembly will address a joint sitting of both houses of parliament once a year and at any time can report to either house and relevant ministers about matters that affect First Peoples.

This access is balanced with an explicit proviso that nothing in Australia’s first treaty with Indigenous people limits the power of the Victorian parliament to make laws and otherwise conduct its business. The architecture of Gellung Warl, although novel in design, will sit within the state’s existing democratic structures.

This is surely going to get abused and exploited.

I think I finally found a solution to an obscure CSS issue that has long been irritating me, thanks to asking Google Gemini – the issue was images that were externally linked displayed a pseudo-element (e.g. an arrow or an underline) as well as text links, and I could find no method to exclude the images. Gemini suggested:

My question: When using the CSS pseudo-element :after for hyperlinks, I want to exclude hyperlinks that wrap around external images. What is the syntax for this?

Gemini’s answer: To exclude hyperlinks that wrap around external images when using the CSS pseudo-element :after, you can use the CSS :not() pseudo-class in combination with an attribute selector for the img tag. The syntax for this is as follows:

a[href]:after {
  /* CSS rules for all hyperlinks with an href attribute */
}
a[href]:not(:has(img)):after {
  /* CSS rules for hyperlinks with an href attribute that do not contain an image */
}

The key part of this syntax is a[href]:not(:has(img)). Let’s break down this selector:

Example: Let’s say you want to add a small external link icon 🔗 after all text-based hyperlinks, but not after image links.

HTML:

<a href="https://example.com">Visit Example Website</a>
<a href="https://another-site.com">
  <img src="logo.png" alt="Company Logo">
</a>

CSS:

a[href]:not(:has(img)):after {
  content: " 🔗";
  font-size: 0.8em;
  vertical-align: super;
}

In this example, the CSS rule will add the 🔗 icon only after “Visit Example Website” and not after the link wrapping the logo.png image. This helps to avoid unnecessary or visually awkward icons being added to image-based links, which are often a part of a site’s visual design.

Browser Support: The :has() pseudo-class is supported in all modern browsers, including Chrome, Firefox, Safari, and Edge. However, for older browsers, this approach may not work. In such cases, a different strategy, such as adding a class to image links to explicitly exclude them, would be necessary.

Tuesday 2/9: Another CSS conundrum solved

Took the 627 bus to Moorabbin Station this morning (it was very late – over 20 minutes or so, presumably due to heavy traffic), then two train stops to Southland Station.

Found the reason another CSS issue (1/9 entry) had stopped working: the ::selection pseudo-element rule was not showing the colors I set. After much frustration, turns out that Safari does not like the ::-moz-selection rule that was before it! One of those odd little “gotchas” that CSS is full of!

Wednesday 3/9: Waste-to-energy should be wanted

“Residents cry foul over supersized bid to burn rubbish for energy,” The Age, 3/9. More selfish stupidity over that waste-to-energy facility mentioned in my 21/8 entry. “The Allan government wants waste-to-energy facilities to burn a fifth of Victoria’s rubbish by 2053 to avoid having to create new landfills and to produce reliable electricity. But fear of pollution from incinerators has sparked fierce local opposition to individual projects, such as one in Lara that failed to secure government approval last month.” Pollution from massive rubbish dumps is arguably worse for the environment, and the demand for energy is relentless. “Cleanaway says its proposal would be safe for the environment and human health. The site is more than a kilometre from the nearest homes and would use ‘leading-edge technology that is proven,’ the company says. Cleanaway has also argued the facility would reduce net greenhouse gas emissions compared with the alternative of dumping the rubbish in methane-leaching landfill and generating electricity from fossil fuels.” And no, rubbish cannot realistically be reduced much more, contrary to the views of some: “Ahmad said the community group opposing the Wollert plant did not believe technology could totally mitigate pollution risks. Asked if incinerators were a suitable alternative to landfills, she said: ‘We need to be cutting down our waste from its source, not at the end.’”

Thursday 4/9: Anti-tech teen fad; fascist fallacy

Feeling a bit irritable and generally down today.

“Teens are taking cues from their parents’ generation to boost their social lives,” The Age, 4/9. “Another friend, the mum of 15-year-old Ariel, has just installed a landline at her daughter’s request. Her daughter quit all her WhatsApp groups – 10 of them — and now, if her friends want her, they have to call her on “the dumbest phone imaginable”. Whenever she can, Ariel prints out her classwork so she can read it without scrolling. She still uses an iPhone for the “essentials” – maps, music and Snapchat. (The latter is on a timer, using an app blocker, set to 30 minutes daily.)” Yet another article on what seems to be a current teenager fad for rejecting much technology (26/8 entry) – a stupid fad, in my view. I do not want to return to the limited analog world! And so much for the “paperless office” prediction.

Denny Henke’s/Beardy Star Stuff’s from-advocate-to-hater of Apple posting continues (recent previously: 9/8, 10/8, 15/8 entries): “It blows my mind that some #Apple users who are, ostensibly, opposed to the fascist takeover of the US by Trump/Maga continue to openly discuss and use Apple products after Cook’s disgusting display on August 6th. What level of support of #fascism would Apple have to engage in before these users stop supporting or otherwise normalize support of fascism? They seem to shrug and go on discussing the upcoming products or new OS features. Guessing they’ll just keep on buying too. Truly disgusting.” (Sep 03 at 05:53 AM) Enough with the “fascism” already (15/8 entry); the word is being bandied about on the more Leftist-inclined social media sites that it is becoming meaningless. The current U.S. Presidency is by no means “fascist.”

Friday 5/9: Various tasks and expenses; humans > animals

Had mowing done yesterday by a Jim’s Mowing franchisee – $95 for around 1½ hour! :-O Next-door neighbour kindly offered to mow when needed again, which I gratefully accepted.

Telehealth session with Linda yesterday. Felt a bit unfocused.

Electricity bill arrived today: $287.54 for 7 May 2025 to 28 Aug 2025 (114 days).

Had my hair trimmed; feels much better.

“Two women killed on Melbourne’s Hume Freeway had stopped to help an injured animal, police say,” ABC News, 5/9. “Victoria Police said the women had stopped on the freeway to help an injured kangaroo.” A pointless, sad and foolish waste of two human lives. It is not worth risking one’s life to rescue an animal (rescuing another human, though, is a different and more important priority).

Saturday 6/9: Upcoming Apple event; VanLife women in Australia; another website hand-coder

Relatively mild and sunny outside, but my bedroom and the house are still cold! As am I.

Launch of the iPhone 17 next week at Apple (Wednesday 10/9 in Australia). Looks like there will be no surprises, so am just indifferent to the event, particularly as the new model looks to be extremely ugly. I have to admit I have been feeling a bit disillusioned with Apple and MacOS generally; these both have their usage annoyances – but so do Windows and Linux. So choices are limited. I do love the MacBook in usage, though; a lovely piece of hardware (though I wish it were upgradable).

“Back Roads meets the women taking on the open road for the adventure of solo van life,” ABC News, 4/9. The Australian version of Nomadland (28/8 entry), though the women featured here are not financially desperate and van life is a lifestyle choice for most. There is still a lot of work and maintenance involved, though, with such a lifestyle.

Manual Moreale’s latest People and Blogs interview is with Louie Mantia. Of interest is that Louie hand-codes his own website! (As I do with mine, though in a less-sophisticated manner). So good to see others who produce their websites the “old-fashioned” way, without using convoluted static site builders and so forth. (Ran Prieur – 29/8 entry – is another such hand-coder; he is one of the “regulars” whose site I visit daily.)

Manuel: A question for the techie readers: can you run us through your tech stack?

Louie: I suspect this will either be the most- or least-satisfying answer, depending on the reader. I don’t use a CMS of any kind. I create new pages manually, update indexes manually, upload files via FTP … all manually. I edit the XML for my RSS feed manually. At times, it can be rather unforgiving. The downside is that I’m the only person to blame when something goes wrong. The upside is that my website is ultra portable.

These were all deliberate choices, to avoid dependence on any service. I don’t have to rely on much else besides the FTP connection to a server. The site is made with only HTML and CSS that I write myself, so when I need to change something like the header or footer, I find-and-replace across hundreds of files. To me, this is much easier than wrangling with services and dependencies I do not control, which could be deprecated at any time, or could change direction, politics, or price.

When a new post reaches some undefined level of merit, I duplicate a template HTML file for the category it belongs in, move the text into that file, and finish writing and formatting the post in HTML, manually wrapping paragraphs and links.

Sunday 7/9: Migraine averted; another shark victim; no Apple Event magic anymore

Windy and unsettled from overnight into today, with streaky lavender-and-cream clouds covering the sky. Rain due later today. I had a headache perhaps due to the barometric pressure change, sleeplessness and the warmer-than-usual night (around 15°C or so). It threatened to develop into a migraine, but I took a prescribed tablet of Imigran which seemed to avert it? I am feeling better so perhaps it was effective.

“Experienced surfer and dad dies in shark attack on Sydney’s Northern Beaches,” ABC News, 6/9. Humans are killed by sharks every year (and it is not an infrequent occurrence, contrary to what some are quoted as saying in the article), yet there are some who come out to defend the sharks, such as this r/Australia thread linking to the news article, with the usual inane arguments of “You’re in the shark’s territory,” “Humans kill 100 million sharks every year. Sharks kill 5-10 humans every year,” “I’d much rather someone say ‘nope’ and not put a toe in the water than hunt down sharks that harm people” and so on. Predators and other animals that harm humans should be culled – a sadly heretical view in this era of environmental fanaticism. (Previously on irrationally defending predators: 28/7 entry).

“While We Wait for the Next Apple Infomercial,” JF Martin, 6/9. On the loss of the magic that Apple Events once provided; it echoes my feelings on the occasion (6/9 entry). A ChatGPT summary:

The article reflects on Apple’s shift from live, energetic product unveilings to highly polished, prerecorded keynotes, which began as a response to the COVID-19 pandemic but has now become the new norm. The author laments how this change has diluted the emotional impact of Apple’s events, turning them from spontaneous, culturally significant moments into sterile, overproduced infomercials.

Previously, Apple keynotes were marked by live reactions, surprises, and a palpable connection between Apple’s leadership and its audience. These events had a theatrical energy – whether it was the first iPhone reveal or surprise announcements – that helped define Apple as a cultural force, not just a tech company. However, in moving to prerecorded events, Apple has opted for complete control: no glitches, no surprises, just flawless production. While technically impressive, these events now feel more like a sales pitch than a genuine moment of connection.

The author highlights how this shift reflects a deeper tension within Apple between perfection (control) and human connection. By emphasizing technical precision over emotion, Apple risks losing the “soul” of its brand. Additionally, leaks before events have stripped away much of the excitement, leaving little room for surprise. As Apple faces a saturated smartphone market with incremental updates, the spectacle of their keynotes loses impact.

Ultimately, the author expresses a sense of disappointment in how these events have evolved, fearing that Apple may no longer be able to recapture the magic of its past product launches. Despite this, there is still hope for something different in the future – though with a sense of realism.

Monday 8/9: Visited parents then city – Nomadland bought

Visited my parents today at Camberwell Gables. Dad was feeling a bit unwell – said he just felt vaguely off-color – so I did not stay long; just enough to chat and be with them for a little while.

Ended up taking the train into the city (Melbourne CBD, just to buy a copy of Nomadland (28/8 entry) at Readings (the only copy in any bookstore, apparently!), visit City Basement Books then head back home. My last visit was on 10/2 to alter my driver’s licence – I simply have little reason to visit otherwise.

There is an article by Jessica Bruder, “The End of Retirement,” Harper’s Magazine, August 2014, on which the book was based.

Tuesday 9/9: Gypsy book identified; changed habits

Thanks to ChatGPT, I remembered a book that I read as a child in the 1970s, one of the old hardbacks Dad owned then: A Time from the World (1962) by Rowena Farre (a pseudonym of Daphne Lois Macreadyy), about her marrying into a gypsy community in England. (She also wrote Seal Morning, of which Dad also had a copy.) Found it online, so I will re-read it! The book obviously made a lasting impression upon me! The author herself seems to have been something of an enigmatic and elusive character. Her writing marvellously evokes the England of times long gone; of a culture and lifestyle that existed for centuries (and which Dad grew up in). So much better than a lot of the dreck published today; a pity her books are out of print.

Reading these books evokes intense nostalgia for me: I miss my elders, those whom I looked up to when I was young: my grandparents and all their relatives, all whom are passed on now. Those who still remembered the world they grew up in, so different to what is now.

My habits have changed a little these last few months by myself: I seem inclined to take a morning shower rather than in the evening, and during winter I have just slept in my day-clothes due to it being so cold, rather than change into a nightie. Despite the discomfort of this old house, I do relish being by myself for the first time in my life; of having a bathroom to myself, of not having to clean up after others, of being able to get through a day at my own pace.

Wednesday 10/9: New iThings announced; Apple CEO sellout; Treaty travesty continues

Apple Event for the latest iThings. No pleasant surprises (“One last thing …”). I did not watch it, mainly so as not to use up my mobile data (which I am still using as my sole Internet access at home after having to give up NBN access – 31/5 entry). The base iPhone 17 returns to the desaturated pastel colors of the 15 (silver, black, Mist Blue, Sage Green, Lavender) and is predictably gimped in some respects (limited to USB-2 transfer speed and 8 GB RAM, same as the 16 range – Air and Pro models have 12 GB RAM). It does have a 120 Hz refresh rate at least (current iPhone 16 has 80 Hz), but that’s about it. The hideous camera “plateau” on the Max version is for real, unfortunately.

None of the 17 range cost under $1000 AUD – the “cheapest” (in Apple terms) is the base iPhone 17 from A$1,399; the priciest is the Pro Max with 2 TB storage at A$3,799!

Of course, anyone with a recent iPhone in good condition does not need to upgrade. I love my 16 Plus with the larger 6.7-inch screen and lovely teal color (comparison page with base iPhone 17, which has a 6.3-inch screen).

“How Tim Cook sold out Steve Jobs,” Anil Dash, 9/9. A strongly-worded critique of Apple CEO Tim Cook’s actions under the current U.S. Presidency. A ChatGPT summary (yes, I’m addicted to these :-)):

In this article, Anil Dash critiques Tim Cook’s leadership at Apple, especially his recent display of subservience towards Donald Trump. Dash argues that Tim Cook has betrayed the rebellious, anti-institutional spirit that defined Steve Jobs and Apple’s early success. Jobs, who grew up in a countercultural environment and came from humble immigrant roots, was known for challenging authority, as seen in his iconic 1984 “Big Brother” ad and defiance against corporate power. Dash contrasts this with Cook’s recent actions, including an embarrassing moment when Cook lavished Trump with praise while Apple handed over a gold gift in the Oval Office.

Dash believes that Apple, under Cook, has abandoned its values and instead resorts to appeasement, weakening the company’s standing. He argues that Apple should have used its considerable influence to challenge the Trump administration, rallying its global user base for a campaign advocating for free markets and open innovation rather than giving in to political pressure. Dash criticizes the company for relying on bribery and backroom deals instead of standing strong and continuing to innovate, suggesting that this path will lead to Apple’s decline. Ultimately, he calls for Apple to reclaim the bold, defiant ethos of Jobs, urging the company to “go on the attack” instead of bending to power.

To this wrong-headed “treaty” (1/9 entry): “Victoria becomes first Australian state to formally table treaty legislation in parliament,” ABC News, 9/9. “Victoria has become the first state or territory in Australia to introduce a treaty to its parliament. The treaty promises to ‘reckon with the past’ and empower Victoria’s First Peoples. If the legislation is passed, it will make the First Peoples’ Assembly, under a new authority called Gellung Warl, permanent.” The legislation is bound to be passed, given the endless self-flagellation that is the current trend on the issue. Schoolchildren will be guilt-tripped as the topic will be highlighted in Australian history studies. (Victoria’s Treaty is the official State Government website on the topic.)

Thursday 9/11: 24 years ago; late buses

24 years since that awful day of the September 11 attacks in New York City. I still cannot watch any documentaries about it due to the trauma of viewing it on TV – even though I was here in Australia, on the other side of the world.

Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC today (as I did on Tuesday). Bus was very late on both occasions – very frustrating! At least I did not have an urgent appointment to keep, but this emphasises how unreliable (and infrequent) public transport can be.

Friday 12/9: Surname etymology

A quiet day. Just walked to the library and back to use WiFi Internet there.

Went down a bit of a “rabbit hole” yesterday when looking up the meaning of my surname, McHale: turns out it is derived from a Welsh name (Hywel)!

MCHALE/HOSTY/MERRICK/MEYLER: These surnames are examples of Welsh or English names which ‘Gaelicised’ in Ireland following the Norman Conquest of Britain. McHale (Mac Haol), Hosty (Mac Oiste), Merrick (a bearer named Oidsi Mac Mhebric is listed in the Annals of Ulster in AD 1272) and Meyler (Mac Maoilir) all contain a Welsh personal name, but have received the Irish prefix mac ‘son of’.

McHale − son of Hywel: McHale is one of the Irish surnames that are actually Welsh. Another one of the Irish surnames that are actually Welsh is McHale. The McHale surname is common in County Mayo and originates from a Welsh family who settled there! Both Irish and Welsh surnames are similar in that they have a tradition of translating to “son of” a particular forefather’s name. The Welsh first name, “Hywel,” is believed to be the personal name the family of settlers belonged to, resulting in their Irish community members naming them “Mac Haol,” as was tradition. Therefore, this Irish surname ‘McHale’ is an anglicisation of the Gaelic for “son of Hywel.”

Saturday 13/9: Gimped non-Pro iPads and iPhones

Regarding the iPhone 17 lineup, they are somewhat analogous to the current iPads, with the less-expensive models gimped in some manner, and the Pro versions fully-featured but extremely expensive. So there are compromises whatever non-Pro model is chosen. Very frustrating and confusing, and can end in Analysis paralysis! As happened to me when trying to decide on a new iPad and I ultimately ended up with none (29/5 entry). I listed a few differences below, as best as I can understand them:

This is probably a deliberate marketing strategy to push people into paying a “little bit” more for a Pro model.

Sunday 14/9: Musings on vagabonds and car dwellers

A lovely sunny day! And the deadly winter chill has definitely eased in the early mornings, despite some single-digit temperatures still.

A subReddit that I have been visiting recently is r/Vagabond, “A digital community created by vagabonds, for vagabonds: Hitchhikers, Trainhoppers, Backpackers, Rubbertramps, Squatters, Tramps, and other houseless travelers!” Some live like that due to choice, others out of desperation, mental illness and homelessness. But I am thinking that if that happens to a person, how does one make the best of it and not succumb to despair?

Some related subReddits are r/UrbanCarLiving, for people having to live (or at least sleep) in their cars due to homelessness and so forth, and r/VanDwellers, aimed more at people who live in converted or specialist vehicles as a lifestyle choice. “What’s the difference between r/urbancarliving and r/vandwellers? There is a lot of overlap between the two subreddits. It seems to focus on converting a vehicle to live in for the purpose of travelling around on country road trips. r/urbancarliving is intended to be more focused on staying in one spot. Typically, it is a highly populated area where libraries, gyms, laundry facilities, storage units, mail services, internet, grocery stores, and rest areas are readily available.” Van living is a possible alternative to unaffordable rental homes and apartments, though of course one needs a suitable vehicle (an ongoing expense in itself), and to be able to drive in the first place! Also places to set up camp in; not easy as a lot of places have laws against car dwellers.

I have become interested in this topic due to my own precarious situation of my parents’ home having to be sold in the near future, and the big issue of myself having nowhere to go. Being unemployed, can’t afford rent. And I can’t drive and could not afford a car anyway! (How do unemployed and car dwellers afford their own vehicles?)

Two van dwelling resources: RVwiki for vanfolk and others who live in vehicles; Nomad Life Wiki.

Previously: John the Swagman (25/4 entry); Reddit user Realistic_Read_5956 (28/8 entry) – he seems to have a positive attitude, which puts me in mind of this quote from Nomadland:

That pep talk was surreal, but not entirely surprising. Positive thinking, after all, is an all-American coping mechanism, practically a national pastime. Author James Rorty noted this during the Great Depression, when he traveled America talking with people forced to seek work on the road. In his 1936 book, Where Life Is Better, he was dismayed that so many of his interview subjects seemed so unshakably cheerful. “I encountered nothing in 15,000 miles of travel that disgusted and appalled me so much as this American addiction to make-believe,” he wrote.

I’m not that cynical. While it’s human nature to put on a good face in turbulent times – and to present that face to strangers – something else was also happening among the nomads. The truth as I see it is that people can both struggle and remain upbeat simultaneously, through even the most soul-testing of challenges. This doesn’t mean they’re in denial. Rather, it testifies to the remarkable ability of humankind to adapt, to seek meaning and kinship when confronted with adversity. As Rebecca Solnit points out in her book A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster, people not only buck up in times of crisis, but do so with a “startling, sharp joy.” It’s possible to undergo hardships that shake our will to endure, while also finding happiness in shared moments, such as sitting around a bonfire with fellow workampers under a vast starry sky.

In other words, the nomads I’d been interviewing for months were neither powerless victims nor carefree adventurers. The truth was much more nuanced, but how could I access it?

Maintaining a vehicle is a lot of work, though. John the Swagman does not have one, and walks everywhere. He is looked out for by his follower group on Facebook, who give him meals and supplies if they encounter him.

Monday 15/9: Migraine averted; windy; visited parents

Felt a migraine-like headache developing overnight, so I took a Imigran tablet to avert it. Weather is warmish and windy with another change due – so barometric pressure perhaps a contributing factor?

Visited parents at Camberwell Gables; did not stay long – just enough to “touch base” with them. Dad is still restless and complains that he feels like he is in jail, but he is not safe to go out by himself, so cannot do much there, unfortunately.

Wind became gale force as the day progressed.

Tuesday 16/9: Major Apple OS 26 release today

The big day of the official iOS 26 and macOS 26 releases (relevant to my devices). I will not be updating to these for some weeks yet, or longer, due to the inevitable bugs that will emerge and need subsequent updates for. Adam Engst at TidBITS has advice on “When Should You Upgrade to Apple’sOS 26 Releases?” I am definitely in the “Cautious users” and “Reluctant upgraders” categories – I am still getting used to last year’s Sequoia OS 25! I am not enamored of the blobby, over-animated Liquid Glass design language that I have seen and read about so far.

Some opinionated blog posts of interest I came across today:

“The awe keeps dropping,” Riccardo Mori, 15/9. He is no fan of macOS 26 or of Apple’s design direction generally, and this is a good read on what he finds wrong. A ChatGPT summary:

The author of this piece expresses growing frustration with Apple, particularly after its September 9 event, where the company unveiled new products like the iPhone, AirPods Pro, and Apple Watch. The writer feels that Apple has lost its connection with long-time users and become more like other big tech companies, which has led to diminishing interest. They criticize Apple’s design choices, particularly the UI of iOS and macOS, which they argue has become overly simplified and “dumbed down,” and the company’s focus on aesthetics over functionality.

The author also takes issue with the use of a Steve Jobs quote at the event, feeling it was tone-deaf given the current state of Apple’s software and hardware. They express little interest in the AirPods or Apple Watch, which they see as unnecessarily complicated and gimmicky, with Apple using emotional stories to market the Watch.

Regarding the iPhone lineup, the writer finds the iPhone Air particularly unappealing, citing concerns over its thin design, potential performance issues, and the need for additional accessories to address battery life. The iPhone 17 Pro is seen as an over-priced option for videographers, while the regular iPhone 17 is considered the best value. Ultimately, the author feels that Apple’s recent innovations lack genuine breakthroughs, and their software, in particular, has not kept up with their hardware. They argue that without better software, Apple’s hardware is not as impressive as it should be, and the company risks alienating its user base by relying on past loyalty rather than continued innovation.

Linked to from the above, “How Tim Cook sold out Steve Jobs,” Anil Dash, 9/9. ChatGPT summary:

The author criticizes Apple CEO Tim Cook for publicly flattering Donald Trump and presenting him with a symbolic gift, calling it a betrayal of the rebellious, anti-establishment spirit that Steve Jobs embodied. The piece highlights Jobs’ background as the son of a Syrian immigrant and a product of 60s counterculture, noting that he built Apple on values of innovation, defiance, and independence. In contrast, Cook’s actions are portrayed as cowardly appeasement, showing weakness in the face of authoritarianism.

The author argues that Apple, a powerful and culturally influential company, had the opportunity – and the responsibility – to stand up for democratic values and resist political pressure, instead of pandering. The piece suggests Apple could have used its platform to rally its user base in defense of open markets and civil liberties, and criticizes the company’s current leadership as spineless and out of touch with its roots. Ultimately, the text is a passionate call for Apple to reclaim its boldness and integrity before it slides into mediocrity.

I also wonder (again – 14/7 entry) how much of a “resource hog” the new OS versions are; all operating systems seem to grow exponentially as the computer physical capacities of RAM, CPU and so on advance. But just because the processing power is there, does not mean programmers have to utilize every byte of it. “Parsimonious (frugal) programming” should be a prominent philosophy.

Wednesday 17/9: System updates; Safari Compact tabs view bug; comparing iPhone 16 Plus and 17

Cooler today with a little light rain overnight. An unpleasant cold southerly wind, but the gale-force wind of Monday has abated at least.

Regarding the macOS 26 and iOS downloads (16/9 entry), I realised that I can not do this at home due to my not having Wi-Fi access! I can’t seem to find their exact sizes in GB anywhere; the best I can come up with is around 6 GB for iOS and 12 GB or more for macOS? Trying to find this out is frustratingly difficult! ChatGPT estimates 8-10 GB for iOS and 12-20 GB for macOS. A huge download and no way can I do that over mobile phone data!

I went to the library and completed the current Sequoia updates there over Wi-Fi for my iPhone 16 Plus (just under 1 GB download) and MacBook Air M3 (4.38 GB for the latter!). Took nearly an hour. Had a look at the Tahoe download for my MacBook and it is 7.38 GB; not so bad. But will hold off on updating for a few weeks anyway.

Found an annoying bug in Safari already, as have others in the MacRumors forum, described in the post “Safari 26 for MacOS 15 update breaking Compact tabs?” Clicking on a tab in “Compact” View has no effect; can’t close it or view the site URL. Switching to the “Separate” view returns the normal function.

Looked at a comparison of the iPhone 16 Plus and iPhone 17 on the Apple website. Main differences are the screen size (16+ is 6.7 inches, 17 is 6.3 inches), 17 has ProMotion technology with adaptive refresh rates up to 120Hz and Always-On display (16+ is 80Hz), an A19 chip (A18 for 16+) and better camera, 3,000 nits peak brightness (outdoor) as opposed to 2,000 nits for 16+. So the main reason for upgrading would be the superior screen display.

Thursday 18/9: Quick visit to parents again; no physical SIM in iPhone 17 Air; Safari tabs bug fixed

Made another quick visit to my parents this morning (15/9 entry) so they could sign a change-of-address document my sister mailed me for them to do. Task accomplished.

Official release of the iPhone 17 tomorrow. One more feature (or disadvantage for some) of the iPhone Air variant is that it is eSIM only – its thinness left no room for a physical slot. Given the trouble I had with transferring an eSIM earlier this year (1/3, 3/3 entries), that would exclude the Air for me.

There was another small Safari browser update available today; after installing it, the annoying Compact View tabs bug (17/9 entry) seems to have been fixed!

Friday 19/9: iPhone 17 release day; Hackers movie anniversary

Very windy, mild and unsettled again as a cold front approaches.

The iPhone 17 was officially released today! I went to Southland SC to update Dad’s iPhone SE 2 over the Apple Store Wi-Fi there (I borrowed his phone for this purpose as Camberwell Gables only allows Wi-Fi access for residents as a paid extra, annoyingly), and the store was quite busy, as was to be expected. Dad’s iPhone battery health is down to 85%; not sure if it is worth getting the battery replaced by Apple as this would cost around $150.

“Hackers at 30: The full story behind the cult cyber fairytale,” Dazed, 18/9. I have not seen this movie, but I do like the aesthetics and cyberculture surrounding the computer scene of the 1990s, though I was regrettably not using the nescent Internet of then.

Saturday 20/9: iPhone 17 scratchgate; The Leatherman

A bit headachey overnight and into the early morning; took an Imigran to stave off a migraine. Seemed to be effective!

“Scratchgate 2? Quickly marred iPhone 17 Pro handsets irk users in China,” Cult of Mac, 19/9; “Two iPhone 17 Pro and iPhone Air Colors Appear to Scratch More Easily,” MacRumors. Seems like the aluminium iPhone 17 Pros are prone to scratches due to the anodized coating; unacceptable in a $2000+ device! There are complaints in the MacRumors forum too (examples: “iPhone Air Black Scratches - BAD!,” “iPhone 17 Pro chipping”).

Via Hacker News, The Leatherman, “a vagabond famous for his handmade leather suit of clothes who traveled through the northeastern United States on a regular circuit between the Connecticut River and the Hudson River from roughly 1857 to 1889.” One comment in the post linked to a more detailed article, “What I Found on the 365-Mile Trail of a Lost Folk Hero,” Sam Anderson for NYT, 9/3/2025. I immediately thought of John the Swagman (25/4 entry), the modern-day Australian equivalent. John is similarly looked after by various strangers out of simple goodwill; they buy him supplies and give these to him when they encounter him.

Soon, all across Old Leatherman territory, a communal instinct kicked in. Residents didn’t just tolerate him; they protected him. They took pride in his visits. They made special food to prepare for his arrival. Mothers scolded children for staring at him in the street. One boy, out for a hike, found an Old Leatherman cave unoccupied and used the wood inside to make a fire. When he got home, his mother made him go back, in the dark, to replenish the wood. She didn’t want the Old Leatherman to get cold.

The townspeople regarded the Old Leatherman with a mix of closeness and distance, familiarity and alienation. He was the insider’s outsider. He didn’t belong, but he was accepted. Wherever he went, he created a circle of civility. His loop tied together otherwise disparate communities like beads on a string. The tramp laws, curiously, didn’t seem to apply to him. By tramping so openly, he seemed to transcend the category. He was his own special category. He was the Old Leatherman.

Sunday 21/9: Housing crisis a disgrace; Campbell the Swaggie

“Perth family endure cold, wet winter in bus amid worsening housing crisis,” ABC News, 20/9. “Steve Pountney and his family have been living in a bus parked in Perth bushland for three years due to a shortage of affordable housing. There were 1,400 people sleeping rough in and around Perth as of May, with just a fraction able to secure housing.” A disgrace in a supposedly-developed country – yet the government can find billions to spend on defence: “Albanese government pours $12 billion into expanding AUKUS defence facility near Perth,” . And another: “Pensioner sells home to move in with family in cost of living crisis,” ABC News, 19/9. “Capricorn Coast pensioner Annette Bleney has struggled to make ends meet and is selling her home to move in with her daughter.” She is still fortunate in that she can move in with a relative, but it is still a big upheaval at her age. “She said car expenses accounted for the bulk of her costs as she often travelled between the city and coast.” I certainly could not afford a car on my much lower Centrelink Jobseeker payment.

Another older article on a swagman (20/9 entry): “The last swagman,” SMH, 20/4/2018. “Campbell is a Maori who became strangely fascinated by Australian folklore and cultural heritage. ‘I fell for the cultural history of this country, and the characters the Bushwackers sang about: the shearers, drovers and the swagman. I wanted to immerse myself in that heritage, so I just followed in the spirit of Waltzing Matilda. One of my favourite Australian poems and songs is “Banjo” Paterson’s classic, Waltzing Matilda. It should be the national anthem you know, the other song has no relevance. It drew me to the swaggie’s life, got me tramping the back roads and stock routes of Australia waltzing my Matilda, living life on the hoof and I’ve been doing it for 40 years.’” A 2017 ABC News profile: “Campbell the Swaggie: One of Australia’s last travelling bush poets.” Happily, it looks like he is still wandering – a quick search brought up a Facebook page for his followers.

Monday 22/9: Visited parents; iPhone 17 Scratchgate for real

Quick visit to see parents at Camberwell Gables; returned Dad’s updated iPhone SE 2. Cold, rainy and windy today; not pleasant weather.

“Scratchgate is real: I’ve seen it myself,” Leander Kahney for Cult of Mac, 21/9. More on the scratch-prone iPhone 17 Airs and Pros (20/9 entry).

Tuesday 23/9: Old Apple > new Apple; Cloudflare’s disturbing dominance; RV refugees; A Time from the World arrived

I wish I had been an Apple computer user during the Steve Jobs era, when the hardware and software were user-focused and -friendly. “Getting Ready for the Winter. Part 1, Switching Technology,” by Simone Silvestroni, is her account of returning to an old MacOS version – Mac OS X 10.9.5 Mavericks – and finding how comparatively enjoyable it is to use in comparison to the current iterations: “As I was increasingly noticing the ease of use, how the UI agreed with me, how fun and smooth using Mavericks was, I progressively started to flirt with the idea of switching completely to it. So I did it.” She bought an old 2013 MacBook Air to install it on.

A Hacker News post linking to a Cloudflare blog entry on the mega-company’s sponsoring a Linux variant and a new browser under development has a disturbing number of commenters defending Cloudflare’s actions and its existence generally. “Cloudflare is used by around 19.3% of all websites on the Internet for its web security services, as of January 2025.” It effectively gatekeeps access to websites, and this means that it is quietly gaining more and more power over access to these.

“Why Cloudflare Sucks: An In-Depth Look At The Perils Of An Internet Giant,” Paul Christiano, 27/7/2024. “Essentially, Cloudflare has the power to decide what websites and content are allowed online. If Cloudflare chooses to block or terminate service to a site, it can completely remove it from the Internet […] Cloudflare‘s size and aggressive tactics make competing very difficult, especially for newer or more privacy-focused services. But the Internet was founded on principles of openness, decentralization, and healthy competition, all of which Cloudflare‘s outsized control threatens.”

Also via Hacker News, “Priced out of traditional housing, more Americans are living in RVs,” NBC News, 22/9. “Moving into an RV may seem like a way to save money, but it can come with unexpected costs and trap families in a cycle of debt.” Not a desirable life choice if forced into it out of desperation. (Previously: 14/9 entry.)

A Time from the World, the Rowena Farre Gypsy book I ordered (9/9 entry) arrived today! So nice to have a physical copy again. It is the first edition with the hand-painted cover image; a bit old and yellowed, but in decent condition otherwise.

Wednesday 24/9: Awaiting new Health Care Card; reading Out of the Forest

I am in limbo regarding my Health Care Card renewal: my current one has expired, a replacement is in progress (issued from 25/9), so I dare not use a concession fare on public transport until the new one is issued – ticket inspectors do appear now and then! (1/4 entry.) I did ring Centrelink on Monday regarding it; the man said the digital version would appear once my claim is processed.

I am reading Gregory P. Smith’s autobiography, Out of the Forest (23/7 entry). It is brutal – he endured horrible abuse during his childhood and adult years, and it is a miracle he survived this.

Thursday 25/9: Still waiting for HCC

Still haven’t received my renewed Health Care Card (24/9 entry). Rang up Centrelink again this morning, but the man could not expedite its progress unless I was in immediate financial distress (which I am not), so if it has not been renewed by 2/10 I will ring up again. A pointless public holiday tomorrow does not help the process!

Friday 26/9: Cloudflare concerns

An unwanted public holiday, so a day wasted. No renewed Health Care Card issued yet, and the holiday will add to the delay.

More Cloudflare concerns (23/9 entry). A Lobsre.rs forum post links to a blog post, “Thoughts on Cloudflare,” that states many reasons why the service’s increasing ubiquity is a bad thing for the Internet. But another post at Hacker News again sees most commenters defending CF, but with some exceptions:

It’s always shocking to me how many people blindly sacrifice the principles that make the things their lives depend on actually worthwhile. The internet isn’t just a thing that happened, it was developed and rolled out under specific principles and vision, and violating those principles destroys the system.

The internet doesn’t work if Matthew Prince gets to act as global gatekeeper, or if CloudFlare gets conscripted as the new PRISM or NSA censorship and surveillance apparatus whether they want it or not. Given the profit incentives and intense pursuit of control, it’s apparent (to me, at least) they’re positioning themselves to profit off of the next big horsemen of the infocalypse opportunity.

Centralized control and gatekeeping of the internet, private or otherwise, should be shunned. Sacrificing that for walled garden features is despicable.

Don’t shit in the village well, even if the guy selling bottled water says he’ll get you a great deal. There are better ways of doing things.

Saturday 27/9: HCC renewed; a walk to Centenary Park; no sign of Dezi

My Health Care Card has been renewed, at last! Much relief.

On impulse I went on a long walk this morning, around an hour’s long trip eastwards up to Centenary Park and back. Fairly pleasant; sunny with a cool southerly breeze. Have not been up that way since last year (4/8/2024 entry). Not too much changed; some old houses demolished and new ones built.

“Police search for alleged Porepunkah gunman Dezi Freeman hits one-month mark,” ABC News, 26/9. Despite an intensive search, there has been no sign of the police killer and fugitive. Conclusion is that he is either hidden himself well, or lying dead somewhere.

Sunday 28/9: Sore knee; Grand Final; Gran’s eyes

The inside of my left knee has developed a soreness, so will have to be careful with my walking – perhaps my gait is off-kilter?

AFL Grand Final yesterday (Australian equivalent of the USA’s Super Bowl). I do not follow either of the teams involved, though I put my TV on anyway for it. The team my maternal grandparents followed (and, subsequently, my mother and sister and myself) are the Richmond Tigers (30/9/2017 entry).

I miss my maternal Gran and think of her every day. She was the grandparent I saw most often and whom I was closest to. I notice when I look at myself in a mirror that I have the same deep-set eyes she had (mine are hazel, hers were blue). This is becoming more visible as I age.

Monday 29/9: A visit and phone calls; Apple at school

Sunny, warm and windy; rain due overnight.

Visited my parents at Camberwell Gables. Made two phone calls: to Dad’s sister (my Aunt in Tasmania) so he could speak to her, and to Mum’s cousin Dawn in Ballarat, so they could both speak! Brought some enjoyment to all of them.

I have been looking through my old Kilvonian school yearbook/magazines (in contrast to the slick but souless modern version, in the 1980s and before the magazine was rather charmingly amateurish, and handmade in the manner of traditional zines – photos assembled and stuck to paper, then photocopied) and found a Computers page from 1984 that stated:

In Term 2 this year Kilvington acquired several new Apple computers, and it has been a pleasure to see the response of girls to their introduction. New creative possibilities have opened up with such activities as Word Processing and LOGO programming, and a variety of others are becoming possible as we acquire more software. Girls from Year 5 to Year 12 have had ‘hands-on’ experience in classes such as English, maths, chemistry, geography and business studies. In addition, we introduced a new Computer Studies course in Year 9. The lunchtime Computer Club flourished with girls carrying out a wide range of activities such as creative writing, programming, developing problem-solving skills, making crosswords and banners and using the Mouse for Computer graphics. Next year we expect to extend our activities and provide a resource for more subjects across the curriculum. In addition, Computer Studies will be introduced in Years 7 and 8 which will give us the opportunity to introduce an exciting range of topics.

So we did have Apple computers back then! Presumably Apple IIs.

Tuesday 30/9: Apple dark patterns

A rain band passed through this morning; weather is mild and unsettled, a little humid.

Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back. Updated my iPhone 16+ to Sequoia 15.7.1 over the Apple Store’s Wi-Fi, and did the same to my MacBook at the library later on. The updates panel has a sneaky little dark pattern that preselects the Tahoe OS 26 install first, rather than the wanted Sequoia update – as was pointed out in various places. Very underhanded of Apple; I am disappointed in them as I thought they still had some principles. Tahoe is by all accounts a bug-riddled mess, and I do not want to update for a long time yet.

October

Wednesday 1/10: Dad in hospital; Silicon Valley servitude

Dad was taken to Box Hill hospital this morning, unresponsive with low oxygen levels. He had been complaining of feeling vaguely unwell when I visited on Monday and also last week. Sister is keeping me updated.

“I Thought I Knew Silicon Valley. I Was Wrong,” Steven Levy for Wired, 22/9. A lament for the loss of the old idealistic counterculture ideals that once defined Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, who would, back then, have scorned the idea of appeasing a President such as Trump. A ChatGPT summary:

Silicon Valley has shifted from its rebellious, idealistic roots to openly or quietly aligning with Trump. Many tech leaders resent Biden’s antitrust, AI, and crypto regulations, and now flatter Trump for deregulation and favors – even if it means tariffs, corruption, and personal tribute. Once-vocal employees have been silenced, and the Valley’s culture of activism has collapsed.

What began as a countercultural movement to empower ordinary people has become an elite protection racket, widening inequality and risking innovation itself. Tech leaders justify submission as pragmatism, but Levy argues it’s a “suicide pact” – short-term survival at the cost of democracy and their own long-term future.

In Apple’s case, the obvious question is: What would Steve Jobs have done?

And speaking of Cook, how is it that the most effective political tactic for the head of a $3.4 trillion company is to march into the Oval Office and solemnly present to Trump a glass-and-gold tchotchke? This is Apple! Who knows what Cook – a man who has more in common with Martians than MAGA – was thinking as he stood before Trump and unboxed the most dubious, most obsequious product in the company’s near-half-century. Would Steve Jobs have done that? My guess: He’d have told his team to send over a gold-plated iPod. Collect on Delivery.

Thursday 2/10: Keeping vigil over Dad

An extremely distressing two days. Dad had a massive brain bleed on the right side of his brain as MRI scans revealed, and he will never wake up. It is likely he will pass very soon – doctors can’t say exactly when, but we are preparing for his passing.

My sister and her husband made a marathon drive down to Melbourne from Wagga Wagga yesterday afternoon, leaving around 4 p.m. and reaching the hospital around 9:15 p.m.. In the meantime, at 1:00 I managed to call a taxi and the driver took me to Box Hill Hospital, a long drive of around 20 km or so (thank goodness for the Multi Purpose Taxi Program card discount – 12/3 entry). Dad was in an isolation room in the Emergency Department (Room 9), so I went and sat with him. It was very upsetting to see him unconscious, breathing very noisily and steadily – I have spent hours now listening to what I realized is the death rattle. I rang Aunty Hilda – Dad’s younger and only sister – in Tasmania to update her of the sad events (and thank goodness Dad spoke to her on Monday – 29/9 entry). Two of Michele’s friends of many years, Jan and her husband, Richard, arrived around 5:30 p.m. to stay with me until my sister & her husband arrived. Dad was transferred to Ward 7.1, Room 17 – the stroke ward. The hospital is huge and labyrinthine, and it is easy to get lost. I was taken home around 10:00 by Michele’s husband Chris; I managed to sleep a bit. He collected me today and also called in to Camberwell Gables to collect Mum, who came to the hospital to sit with Dad. She was obviously upset, but understood what was happening and his condition. Dad seemed to have stabilised a bit, so we all departed around 2:30 p.m. – but will return early tomorrow to be with Dad, assuming his condition does not rapidly deteriorate (he has a Do Not Resusitate end-of-life order). I felt reluctant to leave him and still wonder if I should have stayed overnight. I hope he can hang on until we return tomorrow.

Friday 3/10: Still watching and waiting over Dad; Centrelink payments ending threat; can’t upload to main site

Another day of vigil over Dad. His condition is unchanged. Chris and Michele collected me enroute to Box Hill Hospital, and also picked up Mum from Camberwell Gables. We sat with Dad for most of the day. A doctor from the Pallative Care team visited and strongly recommended that Dad remain at the hospital for the best monitoring of his condition; moving him might destabilize him. So he will stay there, though I wish he could have been transferred back to Camberwell, where Mum would easily be able to visit him.

A lady from the Spiritual Care Team visited us in Dad’s room and performed a comforting ritual; she was nice and understanding, but the ceremony was a bit generic (probably because they have to cater to various faiths). Chris, being an Army chaplain, read out Psalm 23 after the lady departed, said a short prayer and that seemed much more appropriate and to the point (I am agnostic but appreciate this nonetheless), Dad being a Baptist (of the “old school” type; he was unimpressed by the modern version of Christianity).

Assuming no drastic developments, we return again tomorrow.

I also got a notification from Centrelink stating that “Your mutual obligations exemption medical certificate is ending from 8 October 2025. You need to attend appointments with your Employment Services Provider or us and meet the requirements in your Job Plan to continue getting your payment.” I made a telehealth appointment with Dr. Zhang on Tuesday 7/10 to renew the certificate, but if this is not accepted I will have no income! Another source of stress. Feel overwhelmed.

For some reason I have been unable to connect to my website’s remote directory via FileZilla in the last day or so; can’t figure out why as I have not made any changes that I know of – aside from the Sequoia 15.7.1 on Tuesday 30/9. Could this have changed something? I am uploading to my alternate Neocities site in the meantime.

Saturday 4/10: Dad passed away

My Dad is gone. He breathed his last at around 8:03 p.m.. I was with him, in his hospital room, and sat with him. He passed peacefully. He had been breathing … stopping … breathing then stopping for longer. He is now in the Next World.

Earlier in the day, Chris picked me up at home this morning then collected Mum from Camberwell Gables enroute to Box Hill hospital. Michele spent the night there with Dad. I thought I would try doing so tonight, though I did not prepare for it.

A family friend, Elizabeth Thomas, visited after Michele, Chris and Mum departed – Pastors Kang and Robyn Song from the Korean Bentleigh Baptist Church accompanied her (BBC was our family church for many years). They prayed over and for him, and read out verses from Isaiah (which Dad apparently liked). Dad mentored Pastor Kang – helped him learn English.

My sister and her husband drove back to Box Hill Hospital as quickly as they could when I phoned them about Dad’s dying. (I rang Aunty Hilda, Dad’s sister, to tell her; I have been phoning her daily to update her about Dad.) We sat with him for a while, then they drove back to Seaford, dropping me off at home on the way. It is late at night now.

My sister and I no longer have a living father. We will have to tell Mum. She will be looked after by the kind staff at Camberwell Gables, but she was married to Dad in 1968 and I don’t know how she will cope without him as they have always been there for each other.

Sunday 5/10: Dad, come back

I managed to get some sleep last night, though Daylight Savings subtracted an hour.

A lot to arrange for Dad: he did not have a funeral plan, so sorting that out is first priority. My sister and her husband will be involved with much of that.

We three visited Mum at Camberwell Gables to tell her. She understood that Dad had passed and was upset of course. She got to say farewell to Dad yesterday while sitting at his bedside. She is being looked after by the staff there.

I keep thinking of Dad’s last hour, his last breaths. It is the first time I have seen a person die, and it is confronting for me, though Dad thankfully went peacefully. I kept saying, “Dad, come back! I want you back!”

Still getting the FTP error “Unable to retrieve directory listing” when trying to access my website (3/10 entry) – I can login via FTP but the directory is not displayed. Very frustrating. (This concern might seem inappropriate at this time, but my site is my second home and a place where I can write about my feelings and such.)

Monday 6/10: Can access website again; Centrelink payment stresses; Steve Jobs’ death anniversary; a wish granted

I can retrieve my directory files via FTP again (3/10 entry)! Not sure what was wrong on the remote server end, but am able to upload again.

I rang Centrelink this morning regarding my mutual obligations exemption ending and thus my Jobseeker Payment being cancelled also – one can request a temporary exemption for the death of an immediate family member – but that requires a medical certificate! As I have a telehealth appointment tomorrow with Dr. Alison Zhang, I will request that and hope I can upload it in time. Extra stress I don’t need at this time.

“Remembering Steve Jobs,” MacRumors, 5/10. “Today marks the 14th anniversary of Steve Jobs passing away, at the age of 56.” This is particularly painful now.

When keeping vigil over Dad in the days prior to his death, I was wishing and hoping that I would be present when he passed. I realize that I was granted my wish! And I am eternally grateful. Though it was confronting also and I keep obsessing over the details in my head (perhaps I need counselling? But I do not know where to go).

Another small but sad task is updating Dad’s details on my family tree.

Tuesday 7/10: Can’t access website directories again; Dad’s memorial service date

Can’t access the directories of my website again! I can log in but the directories are not being retrieved. Frustrated and exasperated. None of the four encryption options seem to work.

Dad’s memorial service is to be held this Saturday 11th October at Frankston Presbyterian Church. Service will be around 30-40 minutes. It will include a couple of hymns, bible reading, short sermon and eulogy. Light refreshments afterwards.

Wednesday 8/10: One week; Dad’s funeral arrangements; Centrelink reprieve; can’t upload to website again

One week since Dad’s cerebral hemorrhagic stroke. I visited Mum at Camberwell Gables this morning. She was happy to see me, but grieving over Dad. I rang her cousin Dawn so they could have a quick chat.

Michele & Chris are organising Dad’s funeral. The memorial is to be held on Saturday 11th October at 11 a.m. at the Frankston Presbyterian Church. Service will be around 30-40 minutes and will include a couple of hymns, Bible reading, short sermon and eulogy. Light refreshments afterwards.

We met with the funeral director – David Allison from OakdaleFunerals – yesterday evening to discuss arrangements . Dad will be cremated in his dark blue-grey suit, separate from the memorial service. I made a request to save a lock of his hair, which David was fine with, thankfully (he said it is a not-uncommon request!).

I had another realisation that I was also the first family member to sit with him on the day of his stroke (in emergency care), as well as being there when he breathed his last.

Dr. Zhang renewed my medical certificate exemption for Centrelink yesterday, and I then rang Centrelink where a helpful lady processed it for me (after being 50 minutes on hold!).

I was unable to upload my website again via FTP for the same reason (“Failed to retrieve directory listing” – 5/10 entry) – but I tried disabling my macOS firewall, using FTP passive mode and Plain FTP – and it could see/retrieve the directories again! So there must be some setting that has changed in the last macOS Sequoia update (last Tuesday 30/9) perhaps with the firewall. I’ve had no problems with the FW being enabled before, though.

However, I later re-enabled the firewall to test the connection – again with the “Failed to retrieve directory listing” – then disabled the firewall but still can’t retrieve the directories. Tired and exasperated with this.

Thursday 9/10: A nice visitor

Took the bus to Chadstone then Southland SCs this morning. Sister and her husband are busy with Dad’s memorial preparations.

Had an unexpected visit from a long-time friend, Charmaine Papas, yesterday evening – she did not stay, just called in with some flowers and a sympathy card. She attended Bentleigh Baptist Church as a teenager when my family went there in the 1980s, and still goes on alternate weeks. Nice to see her – she lost both her parents in the last few years, sadly.

Everyone has been wonderfully kind to me, but I feel so inadequate: that I can’t reciprocate and express appropriate sympathy when others are enduring loss.

Still can’t retrieve my website directory on my laptop; something about the last update broke something, but it is beyond my technical ability to figure out and searching online has not turned up anything specific to my situation. Frustrating!

Friday 10/10: Dad’s funeral notice and cremation; disrupted family; older women work disadvantaged; pestilent possum advocates

Dad’s funeral notice is online. He was cremated at 4:00 p.m. today. His body no longer exists, reduced to ashes.

The loss of one of my parents is particularly devastating as l never moved out of home and thus lived with them for far longer than many people would with their parents. Our interdependent living arrangement (and group dynamic) was disrupted from December last year when Dad first went into hospital (5/12/2024 entry) – in what would be the first of several such incidents – then permanently in April this year when my parents had to move into residential care due to their declining health (15/4 entry). The stability provided by my parents since I was born is no more. (Is it too self-indulgent to say I might have some PTSD after all of this?)

“Older Australians struggling to find work before hitting the pension age,” ABC News, 9/10. An article on how difficult it is for older women in particular (in my 50s age group and up) to find any work. It is a similar crisis situation with housing (30/7, 7/8 entries).

I tried logging in to my website over FTP using the library’s Wi-Fi and the directory was retrieved with no issue! At home I am using my iPhone mobile account as a hotspot as I had to cancel my NBN subscription (31/5 entry). So some configuration with the hotspot has begun interfering with the FTP link. I am just baffled as to what it might be, as I have been using the hotspot without issue for months.

Regarding my hatred of possums (23/5 entry), a report of an idiotic press release by some clueless university wildlife advocates:

‘Native, charismatic, diverse’: University media guide says be nice to possums

Have we gone completely mad?

Attitudes of the Australian polity at large towards possums might not be top of mind for regular readers. Many might dismiss the protected Australian natives – the common brushtail and common ringtail – as something of a public nuisance.

It is true that possums get a bad rap: they can sabotage powerlines and cause blackouts, possibly transmit the Buruli ulcer and other diseases, get into scraps with pets, get into ceilings, get down chimneys and into lounge rooms and poo on TV sets.

We admit we are showing our biases. But for the greater good, Wildlife Health Australia and the University of Melbourne have come together in an attempt to eradicate these deep-seated cultural biases with a new publication – Possums: A Public Health Communication Guide.

“Possums are not pests, nor are they feral species. They are protected native, Australian marsupials,” the guide notes. “Balanced communication ensures relevant public health information is paired with information highlighting the inherent value of native possums and discourages stigmatising language,” it continues.

The guide decries the use of “us versus them” language when writing about the native animals, and advises journalists to avoid using fear-inducing or emotional language when talking about possums. The checklist of words the guide suggests should be avoided include: pests, vermin, disease-spreading, nuisance animals, dangerous and destructive.

Instead, the guide suggests we should “promote co-existence with possums” using the following words: native, ecologically significant, protected, unique urban adaptors, charismatic, diverse.

Saturday 11/10: Dad’s memorial service

Dad’s memorial service at Frankston Presbyterian Church this morning, at 11:00 a.m., led by Pastor Jared Keath. My sister picked me up from home, and Mum from Camberwell Gables. Three of my sister’s children – Josiah, Margaret and Timothy — were able to fly down from Brisbane and (in Timothy’s case) Canberra to attend (Trinity could not, and remained in Brisbane). Some of Michele’s friends (Jan Leigh, Lea & Rob Beer) and our family (cousin Warren Sayce & his wife Julie May). Michele and I read out our eulogy; the rest was religious prayers and hymns (a bit too long for me; not being religious). My sister, her husband and their children will be departing for their respective homes tomorrow; then I will be alone again.

One week since Dad passed away, at 8:03 p.m. (4/10) entry. All I want is him back; I don’t care about the religious stuff. I want to see him again; if not in this life, then in the next.

Sunday 12/10: DateTime shortcut; no resolution to directories issue – or maybe there is?

MacOS does not have a native method of inserting the current date & time into a text document (one of the things I miss about Windows – there, one could open the NotePad program and press F5 to insert this). Found a webpage describing “How to insert the current date and time with a shortcut on Mac” which worked as a solution.

Regarding the baffling ongoing issue of not being able to retrieve file directories after logging in to my website via FTP (3/10, 5/10, 8/10, 10/10 entries), I wonder if something on my mobile provider Vodafone’s network is causing the issue? Perhaps a network upgrade during that period? I came across two vaguely similar forum posts: “No Wikipedia on Vodafone?” from Whirlpool, 3/10/2025 and “iPhone hotspot not assigning IPv4 DHCP address,” from 4/9/2021.

It might be that Vodafone made upgrades that forced a change to an IPv6 server (rather than the previous IPv4), and for some esoteric reason this has interfered with the FTP directory fetch? All this is way beyond my amateur detective skills! If it is my carrier’s doing, I do not know who to ask there regarding the issue (and if there were anyone who could understand it!). However, the issue did start for me since the last macOS update to Sequoia 15.7.1 on 30/9.

… And, oddly, I could connect again via the hotspot later today – will it last, though?

Monday 13/10: Two weeks ago I spoke to Dad; a sad visit

Two weeks ago (29/9) I visited Mum and Dad for what would be my last interaction with Dad; the last time I talked to him. Now he is gone forever, one who was always there in my life. I still cannot adjust to the idea of never seeing him again. I feel agitated and even more joyless.

I visited Mum at Camberwell Gables today; a sad visit as we both, of course, miss Dad. I sat with her for a while. I found out some details of the events of Wednesday 1/10: Dad was found unresponsive in his bed at 7:44 a.m., with a slow pulse and low oxygen level of 88; he was given oxygen and an ambulance called. His brain bleed must have happened sometime earlier.

Still able to retrieve my website’s directories via FileZilla when I logged in today. Hopefully the issue of not being able to for the last two weeks has been resolved? (12/10 entry).

Tuesday 14/10: Mum now a widow; reorganizing some pages; uploading files back to normal?

Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC this morning.

Another sad realization: Mum is a widow now.

I am thinking of reorganizing some pages on my site: mainly the ones about myself, as they are a bit haphazard in structure due to my site growing organically over the years. I may move some pages about myself from my /family directory to the main one, and reserve /family for family geneology and general information. It will help keep me preoccupied a bit, anyway.

Uploads to my site via my Vodafone hotspot are still working normally (12/10 entry) – hopefully whatever the issue was, has been resolved?

Wednesday 15/10: A long walk; Dad eulogy poem

Walked to Southland SC today as I wanted to visit Officeworks enroute. Have not walked that far (around 45 minutes) for many months.

A lovely calm sunny day. Tomorrow is to reach around 30°C! Spring weather is very variable.

And yet another sad thought: Dad will never see the Sun or stars again.

Wrote a quick poem during a sleepless period last night:

Dad, come back!
Is my despairing cry
As I sit beside my father
And watch him die.

Four days ago
He had a stroke
Falling into a deep sleep
From which he never awoke.

He breathes his last
In one great sigh
His body releases him
To somewhere beyond the sky.

Dad, don’t go!
Is my final plea
But he is now in the Next World
There he will await me.

Thursday 16/10: Visited Mum; rabbit reading; technology and aging; housing register gone astray

Warm and sunny today, though that annoying strong northerly wind has returned, precursor to a cool change.

I visited Mum briefly again today at Camberwell Gables, staying ½-hour or so. The staff look after her, but the other residents are in various stages of decline (dementia and such) and are thus not always amiable company. Mum was in the lounge room area with some others, but there is still a depressing aura of the residence being a waiting room for the residents’ final departures. I wish I could visit daily, but Camberwell is difficult to reach from Bentleigh, even by car.

One of the odd impulses I felt while keeping watch over Dad during his first day in hospital (1/10 entry) was to read out a scene from one of my favorite classic novels, Watership Down by Richard Adams – Chapter 31, where the storyteller, Dandelion, recounts the mythical El-ahrairah’s journey into the underworld to petiton the Black Rabbit of Inlé to save his people from destruction. I only got through some of it before my voice gave out. I also thought of another quote from the novel (Chapter 17 – “The Shining Wire”): “‘My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped running today,’ he said to Blackberry, quoting a rabbit proverb.”

A recent post from the subReddit r/AgingParents: “Anyone else’s parents just not great with their phones?” Cognitive decline in older people affecting their use of technology is very much a sad reality – Dad was not exempt from this, and Mum never was technologically-adept in the first place (she was very nervous of computers). From building computers a decade ago, he could barely use his iPhone SE2 in the last year or so (examples of some mentions in my 25/10/2023, 22/5/2024, 25/9/2024 entries). I noted this also in one of the online people I follow, Greg Lehey (14/5/2023, 13/1 entries).

I rang up the Victorian Housing Register in regards to a public housing application I made back on 8/7/2025, but the lady said there is no record of it, despite the website stating I had submitted it successfully! No wonder I have not heard from them within 28 days of the application. She gave me an email to make an enquiry, so will see how that eventuates.

Friday 17/10: Housing application never received; grieving over Dad

Received a reply to the email I sent to the Victorian Housing Register (16/10 entry). My application had never been received, frustratingly!

We have checked our system with the provided reference number or details. Unfortunately, no application has been received. Generally, when this occurs, it is due to a document having been uploaded with the application that is not a supported file type, corrupted or is over the size limit.

The application will appear like it has been submitted correctly your end and you receive an Online ID, however the application gets blocked by the system and never gets sent through to our end.

As our team have not received any new application through the Online system there is nothing for us to be able to process. Moving forward please try re-submitting the application online, ensuring that all documents meet the below requirements.

After yet more confusion, submitted a new filled out form to that email address as they suggested. Hope it went through as the required attachments were large, and that I have done it correctly.

Tears of frustration again! Spent the whole afternoon struggling with this process, and my mental energy is exhausted. Also had a massive crying jag of grieving over Dad; the still-unthinkable realization that I will never speak to him or see him again; never hear his voice again.

Saturday 18/10: Two weeks since Dad passed; an unexpected outing

Two weeks since Dad’s passing – hard to believe it is that long already. I still think of things to tell him, then realise he is no longer here – something that still can’t be comprehended.

I did have a nice unexpected outing today! Julie (my cousin Warren’s wife) rang me this morning to see how I was doing and, on impulse, I decided to take the Frankston line train to Mordialloc to visit her & Warren (they said earlier that I was welcome to visit). So Julie met me at the station, then we walked along the nature reserve trail to her & Warren’s home. It’s in a nice quiet courtyard, with the nature reserve at the back, and they are very near the beach also! Their home is very pleasant (in contrast to my dark, gloomy and cold abode). They have a (rather excitable) border collie (Ollie, I think his name is?). I stayed for the morning, then they drove me back to Mordialloc station. We stopped briefly along the way for a quick walk to the beach – first time I’ve been next to the ocean for years! I then took the train back home. So a pleasant alternative to spending a dull morning at home.

Sunday 19/10: Trippy video; replaying Dad’s passing; sister’s moving house date

Windy and unsettled today, overcast before a rainy change due later.

Was browsing YouTube during last night and came across this awesomely trippy music video, “Psybie Project – Ra Ma Da Sa | 4K AI Trippy Visuals” using AI-generated psychedelic trance and Hindu-derived imagery (Shiva, I think the blue-faced man is). This is a marvellous example of the otherworldly art that AI can produce. The video (and others on that channel, several of which I watched while at the library) flow and morph smoothly, compelling the viewer to keep watching just to see what wierd visuals will appear next. The seed pod-like wheely things zipping around in the background are a little disconcerting, though! All the AI-hallucinated humans look quite happy, and the videos are surprisingly soothing to watch (what I desperately need right now). I wonder what trying psychedelic drugs might do to me?

The mantra referred to in the video is the Siri Gaitri mantra:

Am still grieving and processing Dad’s death on 4/10, as I will be forever. When he passed I rested my cheek against his, paced around, rested my head against his chest to hear any heartbeat (nothing; his heart had stilled); held his right hand as the skin began to cool and lose its living color; kept imploring him not to go and to come back.

My sister and her husband are to move to Townsville from 3/12 (Chris is being deployed there). I am a bit upset about her being so far away again. My parents’ home, in which I still live, will have to be sold by next year to fund Mum’s residential care – and I still have nowhere else to go.

Monday 20/10: Visited Mum; an unfillable hole

Rain this morning, though at least it was not windy as well.

Visited Mum this morning at Camberwell Gables; a short visit. I rang my sister while there so she and Mum could converse.

A quote I found somewhere years ago, by novelist E. Annie Proulx: “I remembered from my mother’s death, a few years earlier, the vast hole in the world that opened and could not be pulled closed.” That came into my head when thinking of Dad – his death has left a void in my life that can never be filled.

Tuesday 21/10: Favorite re-reads; car-dwelling sites; watched Nomadland; yummy sourdough

Been re-reading Forgotten Girls (27/8 entry) and Nomadland (28/8, 6/9 entries). Both have a writing style that is compelling, and are about how disadvantaged people in American society cope (or not). Regarding Nomadland, I am feeling an interest in car-dwelling so visit a few subReddits and blogs (14/9 entry) – one of the latter I came across today is Car Camping Dude, with lots of tips on how to live such a lifestyle. Of course, one needs a car and to be able to drive, neither of which I have or can!

I watched Nomadland the movie this afternoon. Understated and melancholy in places; recommended. It certainly does not glamorize the lifestyle, but shows the sense of community amongst those who follow it.

When I visited Julie & Warren’s home on Saturday (18/10 entry), I ate some slices of Julie’s homebaked sourdough bread, which was delicious! The only ingredients are flour, salt and water. She also had a jar with a sourdough culture growing – these can apparently be maintained for years! (One of the website people I visit, Ran Prieur, has a Sourdough guide on his website. An Australian traditional food, Damper, is similarly made from flour, salt and water.)

Wednesday 22/10: Enjoyment in doing; Reddit car-hate

Heavy rain this morning – yuck. A dire prediction of extreme damaging weather for south-eastern Australia today (“cyclone-strength winds,” etc.) – and the wind has strengthened from around midday onwards.

The extract below echoes how I regard my own website – the creating of it is in some regards more fulfilling than the end result:

I’ve also been made aware of static site generators that can create website pages from templates after you do some coding to set them up. I don’t know if I’ll ever switch to a static site generator for a couple of reasons, though. The first is that several of them seem to require knowledge of programming languages that I don’t know. I don’t have any computer science or coding background aside from HTML and CSS. I also don’t have a particular interest in learning new languages (including JavaScript??) But more importantly: I don’t think the website itself is my goal. I think making the website by hand, page by page, is my goal. That’s why I have been so uninspired by my Wordpress sites for years and why I became so excited when I realized that I could just make my own: I’m a hobbyist website builder. I always have been. It’s just that I forgot for 20 years that this is something I enjoy doing.

That puts me in mind of this essay by Craig Mod: “The Healing Power of Code.” “The real joy of this project wasn’t just in getting the search working but the refinement, the polish, the edge bits. Getting lost for hours in a world of my own construction. Even though I couldn’t control the looming pandemic, I could control this tiny cluster of bits.”

Redditors in general seem to hate cars – a random post in r/Melbourne today: “Does Melbourne need to become less car-centric?” No way would I want to ride a bicycle in today’s pouring rain; walking to catch a bus or train is unpleasant enough. The majority of Redditors are young and able-bodied; they do not seem to consider how difficult getting around via public transport can be for elderly and disabled people.

Thursday 23/10: Visited Mum; manifestation

The gale-force wind abated overnight, after leaving much damage across the state. Overcast today and cooler, but no rain or wind, at least.

Visited Mum again this morning at Camberwell Gables. Rang her cousin Dawn Harbour so they could have a chat. Mum said she’d had a dream where someone knocked on her door and the person knocking said they were Dad. Perhaps part of him remained behind to watch over Mum – it’s a nice thought.

“Manifest” – a word and concept I have been reading about for a few months. The idea is that you can manifest your wishes (in some form) by changing the way you think; of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. The concept tends to be derided as pseudoscience by rationlalist types, but perhaps there is something to the philosophy? Admittedly, such a mindset is hard to attain when depressed and despairing – not to mention grieving – but positivity is better for one’s mental health than negativity.

Friday 24/10: Haircut; a sad upcoming birthday; CheapRVLiving YouTube channel

Calm and sunny again today. Got my hair cut at Southland SC.

This coming Sunday will mark two weeks till my 55th birthday – a particularly sad birthday with the forever absence of Dad. My sister said she would drive down that weekend to visit, and hopefully she, Mum and myself can go out to a café for lunch.

I have been visiting Bob Wells’ CheapRVLiving YouTube channel, with dozens of videos on all aspects of car- and van-dwelling. It is U.S.-based so mostly relevant to there, but still interesting nonetheless (21/10 entry).

Saturday 25/10: Three weeks

Three weeks since Dad’s passing (4/10 entry). Still in disbelief that he is no longer here; there is a void in the world that his body once occupied.

Sunday 26/10: A breaking branch

Grey, rainy and dull today. Walked to the library for WiFi (and some warmth!), but a rather difficult walk back under heavy rain.

Yesterday I was thinking of a remark Dad made last December (7/12/2024 entry), when in hospital after that apparent seizure he had on 5/12/2024: “He did make a curious observation that when he had the seizure he had the sensation of being inside himself and the feeling of a branch breaking from a tree.” I wonder if that was a precursor to the intracerebral hemorrhage on 1/10 that took his life.

Monday 27/10: Tornado; lost wanderers; no more white

A violent thunderstorm passed over Melbourne yesterday afternoon, along with what is believed to have been a tornado. Did a lot of damage to some areas, but fortunately not where I live.

A cold and annoying south-easterly wind blowing constantly today. Seem to have spent most of the day cold and uncomfortable. Was going to visit Mum but due to train cancellations (caused by damage from yesterday’s inclement weather) I gave up and went home, after visiting bookstores and buying Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Both are in the narrative style I favor, of what I call the “lost wanderers” genre, along with Nomadland and Forgotten Girls (21/10 entry).

Decided not to wear white clothing anymore, so I donated my white outerwear to a local charity shop. Am just wearing black, and shades of grey now.

Tuesday 28/10: Doctor appointment; visited Mum

Cold morning, but a lovely sunny day, in contrast to the unpleasantness of yesterday.

Had an in-clinic appointment with Dr. Alison Zhang at Southend Medical Centre this morning; thought I would try taking the train in and seeing how that went. Took Frankston-line train to South Yarra Station, then Sandringham-line train to Hampton Station. Despite leaving home at 8:10 a.m. to walk to Patterson Station, I only made the 9:45 a.m. appointment time with a few minutes to spare! Had to waste 15 mintues waiting for the Sandringham-line train, frustratingly.

Di Pompilio drove to the clinic to pick me up and we went to Camberwell Gables to visit Mum. We stayed a while, then she drove me home.

Wednesday 29/10: Hotspot hassles; a cruel October

Another lovely sunny day. Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC this morning.

For some reason my MacBook Air and iPhone were refusing to hotspot via Bluetooth this afternoon, despite having done this without issue before. They do hotspot when I connect them with a USB cable, so I am baffled as to what might have changed. I really wish I could afford to subscribe to NBN Internet again (31/5 entry) as well as my mobile phone.

Four weeks now (1/10 entry) since Dad’s initial admission to Box Hill hospital for a catastrophic and fatal brain bleed. For me, October, not “April is the cruelest month,” now.

Thursday 30/10: Visited Mum; Australian car dweller

Sunny and calm again. I took the train (two trains, this time) to Camberwell Gables to visit Mum. Rang her cousin Dawn and my sister so they could speak with Mum. Managed to walk around 7 km today going to and from places (Patterson Station in the morning, then to East Bentleigh after lunch for some groceries).

My iPhone-MacBook Air hotspot seems to be working normally again (hopefully! 29/10 entry).

Odd dreams last night, only vaguely remembered now. Think in one I was walking through a corridor, looking for Dad. In a later dream, was climbing over the wall of a dam, escaping from something – seemed to be in the Elwood Canal area.

Came across this ABC News (Australia) video while browsing: “This is what #vanlife is really like for this homeless woman.” Difficult and stressful – and she says she is lucky to have a car to sleep in (as opposed to sleeping on the streets).

Friday 31/10: A harrowing Halloween; iPhone dream; vanlife in desperation

Weather has become restless and unsettled – a lavender-grey sky with mild humidity and intermittent rain. Halloween tonight – not an event I have any interest in, and given the awful life-changing event of this month – Dad’s passing on 4/10 – it is particularly painful to see death-related decorations arrayed in the front yards of houses.

Had a dream in which I bought a new iPhone! The iPhone 17, base model in sage green, to be precise.

Another (2021) article on van- and car-dwelling via The Guardian: “‘I was sleeping in laybys’: the people who have spent the pandemic living in vans,” 25/5/2021. People in the UK who have had to resort to this out of desperation, or face sleeping on the streets. This was linked from an article about Nomadland: “Off-road, off-grid: the modern nomads wandering America’s back country,” 4/2/2021. (Previously: 24/10, 27/10, 30/10.)

November

Saturday 1/11: Four weeks passed; afterlife wishes; a long walk

Four weeks today, at 8:03 p.m. Dad passed away with me by his side (4/10 entry). It still seems unreal and I am still in disbelief that I will never see him again in this lifetime.

If there is any existence after physical death, I simply want to see my deceased relatives again: to relive my happiest memories with them, to revisit places of my youth. To walk through the landscape of my memories. I ultimately care nothing for abstract entities and gods – the concept of worshipping a god forever in some city sounds awfully boring to me.

On an impulse, and with the weather being fine, I walked to Southland SC and back; 45 minutes or so each way – about 8.5 km total. Wiped myself out for the rest of the day. I’m a bit out of shape as I have not walked that far for some time.

Sunday 2/11: Loud party

Neighbors in the house on the south side of me had a party for most of last night – teenagers, by the sound of them and their loud techno music – so I only had fragmented sleep. A bit headachey also due to the warmer weather; to reach nearly 30°C today.

Went to the library for a while; now that the weather is warming up, there is now air conditioning rather than heating. Felt rather debilitated on the walk there and back, so I may have to stay at home in hot weather, as well as when raining.

Monday 3/11: Lots of rain; street tree stupidity

Heavy rain from overnight and most of today – and also predicted for every day of this week. Yuck.

Managed to take the train(s) to visit Mum today at Camberwell Gables despite the rain, but still a difficult and uncomfortable journey there and back. No major delays for trains, thankfully.

“Brisbane storm electrocution of Manendra Kopparthi raises concerns about trees and powerlines,” ABC News, 3/11. Breaking branches and falling trees are a major culprit of power outages during storms (as well as people getting killed), but many councils (and environmentalists) are fanatically pro-tree and will not adequately prune branches, let alone fell large trees. This attitude is a continuing source of frustration, and the article highlights a tragic outcome of this intransigence on the part of authorities. The street tree outside my parents’ home is a decades-old Queensland Brush Box, which is very large and dreadfully messy: it drops nasty little pointed seeds, leaves and broken branches everywhere. The roots have pushed up the concrete gutter, which results in a huge puddle after rain.

Tuesday 4/11: Melbourne Cup day; Dad’s death certificate issued

Melbourne Cup public holiday today. Weather is still rainy and cold; very unpleasant.

And another sad life event marked: Dad’s death certificate was issued yesterday. The cause of death is stated to be a haemorrhagic stroke.

Wednesday 5/11: Car dwellers video watching

A quiet day. Did walk to the library to watch some YouTube videos without worrying about data usage. Am currently a bit obsessed with car dwelling videos, such as those in Bob Wells’ How to Live in a Car: Interviews and Tours with Car Dwellers playlist. I am not interested in the “#vanlife” lifestyle demographic – those who can afford luxury caravans and such, and are living that way by choice – but rather in those who have to live in their cars out of desperation and make the best of it. One step I disagree with is removing the car seats (all but the driver’s seat) – this is mechanically complicated and one needs a place to store the seats if they are to be reinstalled.

I like watching the American videos, but do wish there were some Australian-relevant ones too!

Of course, all this is moot seeing as I don’t have a car and can’t drive! Driving lessons are expensive, though.

Thursday 6/11: A convoluted journey

A lovely sunny day. Took the bus (627 to Moorabbin Station) and two trains (Frankston line; Alamein line) to visit Mum – a much pleasanter journey than struggling through the miserable wet weather on Monday 3/11. Three trains to return – went to Southland SC on the way home, then the 822 bus homewards. Over three hours out, most of which was on public transport to each destination.

Friday 7/11: OS updates; another Linda Stinton appointment; Dad’s deterioration last December

Weather becoming warm and unsettled with intermittent rain – the humid time of year. A dismal weekend predicted for rain. My sister is visiting tomorrow, so that is something to look forward to.

Went to the library to do iOS and macOS updates via their Wi-Fi. A tedious chore, even with only three devices (including Dad’s iPhone SE2).

Got a phone call from Alfred Health Carer Services yesterday, enquiring about my welfare – they had arranged for counselling sessions with Linda Stinton (14/8 entry). I called her today and have three more with her (first one on Monday).

Was just reading through the events of last December, from Dad’s initial seizure onwards (5/12/2024 entry). It is more clear in retrospective that things were going wrong in his brain then, but whether these were a direct cause of his ultimately fatal brain bleed on 1/10 last month is uncertain.

Saturday 8/11: A nice outing

My sister drove down to Melbourne from Wagga Wagga yesterday afternoon for a quick visit. This morning she drove me and Mum to a nearby café in Camberwell for a coffee and light brunch – I had a slice of toasted sourdough (no spread) with two poached eggs, which was simple and nice (and not too many calories, unlike most of the more elaborate meals). The weather was very wet with constant rain, as forecast, so not pleasant! The café was crowded and noisy, which made any conversation difficult. Still had an enjoyable time with us three together (though Dad’s absence is sadly felt).

Five weeks since Dad passed. My sister collected his ashes from the funeral home; she will take the box with her when she and her husband move to Townsville in Queensland in December. I have the promised lock of Dad’s hair; all that remains of him in the physical world now. Enroute to pickup Mum, we called in to Box Hill Hospital briefly so my sister could give the staff on Level 7 a plate of homemade ginger biscuits as a thank-you gift for taking care of Dad.

Sunday 9/11: 55 today

55 today, and a sad birthday, being my first without Dad (4/10 entry).

Rain overnight; cleared this morning. Did little activity; took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back, then walked to the library for a while. My sister departed for the long drive back to Wagga Wagga.

Monday 10/11: Visited Mum

Cloudy, with rain later. Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables.

Still have to vacate this house sometime next year, but have no other places to go. Given up with the sharehouse option as the offers look dodgy and I am terrified of having to share a bathroom and kitchen with random strangers. No chance of being able to afford renting. Feel mentally paralyzed and hopeless. Sunk into inertia and apathy.

Tuesday 11/11: Counsellor session; Kaycee Nicole revisited; Hobo Shoestring

Cold, wet, miserable weather. Am at home, huddled next to the living room heater.

Had a telehealth session with counsellor Linda Stinton (7/11 entry) yesterday afternoon; a good talk, mainly about Dad and grieving.

Via MetaFilter, “The Curious Case of Kaycee Nicole.” I think this old scandal is how I found MetaFilter; it is so long ago now that my memory is hazy. The KCN case was a fascinating example of how one person could deceive so many. There is an online archive of the blog she kept (hand-coded HTML pages – how I miss that old-fashioned method of writing online journals in this age of bloated, generic Wordpress blogs or overly-complex static site builders).

Another interesting (if rather sad) story from that site: “The Legend of Hobo Shoestring,” on the life and mysterious death of a revered train hopper. A couple of Reddit posts RIP Hobo Shoestring,” “Legendary hobo Mark ‘Hobo Shoestring’ Nichols has been found dead,” 6/4/2024.

Wednesday 12/11: Long walk; Dad’s death date discrepancy

Walked to Southland SC and back. Covered 10.1 km today, according to my iPhone’s Health app! Weather fine but overcast, with a cool breeze. No rain at least! Yesterday was particularly cold for this time of year.

My sister noticed a discrepancy on Dad’s death certificate: the date of his death was recorded as 5th December, not the 4th! Panic from both of us until she enquired at the funeral home and they said not to worry as it’s likely Dad wasn’t seen by the doctor until after midnight. But the actual date and time of his death – as witnessed by myself – is 8:03 p.m. on 4/12.

Thursday 13/11: Nice day; visited Mum

Sunny and warm today, in contrast to the frigid wet awfullness of two days ago (11/11 entry). Visited Mum briefly at Camberwell Gables.

Friday 14/11: Older people forced into sharehousing in UK; housing application received but not yet processed; Treaty travesty

“The rapid rise of renters in their 60s: ‘I hate the idea of house-sharing – but I have no choice’,” The Guardian, 13/11. Describes the plight of some older people in the UK having to resort to the house-share option out of desperation, but there is a similar situation in Australia (8/8 entry). “Horrified that a few weeks ago she came home to find two strangers asleep on her sofa; horrified that she has to put up with an overflowing litter tray belonging to a cat that isn’t hers; above all, horrified that at the age of 65, she is about to leave a two-bedroom flatshare to move into a four-bedroom one where she will ‘probably be living with people whose combined age is less than my own.‘ […] ‘I hate the idea of sharing,’ says Savva. ‘I hate the idea of a place where there are so many people using the toilet and the kitchen. But I’ve got no choice.’”

Speaking of housing, I rang the Housing Register Application Team today to enquire about the progress of my reapplication (17/10 entry) and the nice lady said it had been received, but had yet to be processed due to the high volume of such applications – namely, a lot of people applying for public housing (unsurprisingly). But at least I know it is in the system.

“Australia’s first treaty with Aboriginal people signed into law in Victoria,” SBS News, 13/11. “Under the bill, the state’s Indigenous representative body has been granted expanded powers and acts as a voice to parliament which the government must consult on laws and policies affecting Aboriginal Victorians. The body, elected by Aboriginal people in Victoria, is independent from government and will operate out of a dedicated room at Parliament House. This discriminatory stupidity is now law, no thanks to gullible politicians pandering to identity politics (1/9 entry), and will incite more resentment at one group getting special treatment. And already, “A historic native title claim encompassing Melbourne has been lodged with the Federal Court.” They did not waste any time there!

Saturday 15/11: Six weeks since Dad passed; teens on the upcoming social media ban

Six weeks since Dad’s passing (4/10 entry). Still seems unreal; I think of things I would like to tell him, then the awful realization that he is no longer here and I will never see him again, or hear his voice.

“‘Idk what to do’: Teens share their thoughts after test-driving the social-media ban,” The Age, 15/11. This stupid reactionary form of Government censorship comes into effect from 10/12. I hope that teens can find ways to circumvent it.

“It’s stupid,” says one. “What’s it actually helping?”

“It’s so that you guys are interacting interpersonally,” Inman Grant replies.

“We already do that,” her daughter says. “Everyone already does that. But it helps us connect to people overseas, because how are we supposed to do that now? How are we supposed to meet people? Where am I supposed to watch my celebrity crush at? How can you get inspiration?”

They can’t imagine how these needs will be met without social media. The questions keep coming, too. “How are you going to stop real-life bullying, then? Taking away school?”

Inman Grant politely ends her daughter’s interrogation, but many Australian teens would raise the same grievances if given the chance to debate the eSafety Commissioner one-on-one. “Our young people’s side of the story isn’t being seen, or it’s just being ignored,” says 14-year-old Ananya Sharma, one of several teenagers Good Weekend spoke to about the ban. “Social media doesn’t have as much of a negative impact as it’s perceived to have.” Some parents make that case as well. Monique Taylor and her 12-year-old daughter, Bronte, live in a small town half an hour from the NSW border town of Albury. Bronte uses TikTok to make fan videos of Taylor Swift and deepen her passion for Greek mythology. Nobody else at her school shares those interests. “She’s a country kid. There are other kids that do it because they’re skateboarders and no one else in the town they live in skateboards, so they film videos and send it to other people,” Taylor says. “That’s where they feel free and brave to be who they want to be.” […]

Under a Facebook post sharing a list of five ways families can prepare their kids for the ban, one parent comments: “I’d prefer a list of five ways to bypass it.” A parent who speaks to Good Weekend anonymously says that’s what they intend to do so that their child stays connected to family and friends overseas. “There must be hundreds of families like ours that will set up new accounts for them so they can keep using some platforms,” they say. “The blanket ban does not consider any individual’s situation or needs. Those kids who are using it responsibly will be isolated from perfectly normal daily dialogue.”

Also, if such a ban had been in place one or two decades ago, YouTube personalities such as iJustine and Jenn McAllister (3/8 entry) may not have got their online careers underway.

Sunday 16/11: Landline Luddites; rubbish refusing residents

Unsettled weather, with rain due later today. Already had intermittent heavy showers with hail.

“The old-school landline is having a cultural moment,” ABC News, 16/11. More neo-Luddite stupidity! Another article on the baffling fad of forcing teenagers to use old-fashioned landline phones (4/9 entry). I had a phone phobia – I hated answering phones, not knowing who would be on the other end – and thus dreaded the jangling sound of the landline phone ringing. I have no desire to re-enact that! “Sally is a member of the Heads Up Alliance, an advocacy group with the motto “childhood is precious” that supports parents who want to delay their children’s access to social media and smartphones. The group played a big part in lobbying the NSW government for a public school phone ban.” Sally sounds like an overbearing control freak, to be blunt; I would hate to have her as a mother! The current anti-smartphone backlash is merely the latest manifestation of a media panic. And “Of course, other parents and children say smartphones and social media have improved their lives, enhanced their ability to connect with others and express themselves creatively. And many parents give their children phones to help keep them safe or to use in emergencies.”

“Sunbury residents fear waste-to-energy proposal risks health and environment,” ABC News, 16/11. More irrational fearmongering and objecting to an alternative and much better method of disposing of rubbish (3/9 entry): burning it to produce power rather than dumping it in landfill. The waste-to-energy option is much better for the environment, yet these idiots object on spurious emotive grounds. “Experts say waste to energy is a vital part of waste management into the future, providing a solution to the critically low capacity of Victoria’s landfills.” And, despite a lecturer’s statement, waste can only be reduced so far: “Although Dr Thornton supported WtE facilities as part of the solution, he said reducing the volume of waste produced should remain the top priority. ‘We all, as individuals, should be taking some responsibility for looking at what waste we generate and what we can do to reduce it and avoid it in the first instance,’ he said.”

Monday 17/11: Twiddlemuff

Cloudy, with some showers from the afternoon. Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables.

My aunt (Dad’s sister) knitted her a Twiddlemuff! It “is a cozy, knitted or crocheted hand muff designed to provide sensory stimulation for individuals, particularly those with dementia or Alzheimer’s. It features various textures and objects inside, helping to keep restless hands occupied.” (AI search results summary.) Mum was quite enamoured with it. My aunt is an accomplished knitter; her work (including crocheted blankets) is professional-quality!

Tuesday 18/11: Possible housing option?

A lady from the Church Dad used to attend – Bentleigh Baptist Church – took me to see a possible future public housing placement, with houses run by St. Andrew’s Anglican Church in Brighton. Talked to the Reverend there; once my housing application is processed (14/11 entry), I will go on their list (I need to provide the Housing Register ID provided). At this stage, this opportunity is only tentative, with nothing assured. Though in the event that I am placed, moving for the first time in my life will be a huge undertaking for me. I have literally lived in the same house all my life so far, and am embedded in my local area. I would be grateful for assured housing of course, but still the prospect of leaving my familiar surroundings permanently is distressing.

Wednesday 19/11: Moving in America; Cloudflare outage

Regarding moving houses, a question posted recently at r/AskAnAmerican: “Why do Americans move so often?” – something that I have been curious about, also! Looking at some anwers in that post, Americans seem to move more frequently than those in European countries, and younger people move more often than older.

In some respects, maybe it is better to move every few years; then one does not grow too attached to a place. As I noted yesterday (18/11 entry), I have lived all my life in the same house so far; an aberration in the society I live in. Thus the prospect of moving is particularly upsetting to me; a massive disruption to my routine and a step into the unknown.

“What we know about the Cloudflare outage that impacted X and ChatGPT,” ABC News; “Widespread Cloudflare outage blamed on mysterious traffic spike,” Ars Technica, 19/11. A Cloudflare outage that affected access to many websites. I have previously expressed concern about the company’s outsize dominance as a website access gatekeeper (23/9, 26/9 entries), and many people’s defending of it and mocking of such concerns. (A Hacker News post linking to a blog post, “Do Not Put Your Site Behind Cloudflare if You Don’t Need To” garners a lot of derisive comments in the HN thread.) The company positions itself as one of the “good guys” – but another megacorporation, Google, once had the motto, “Don’t be evil.” I have no trust in Cloudflare’s supposed benevolence and am suspicious of its ulterior motives.

Thursday 20/11: Gastro outbreak; car congestion tax

Took the train to visit Mum at Camberwell Gables, but found out there is a gastroenteritis outbreak, and Mum was in bed from the symptoms, so I could not go near her and so went back home. I hope she recovers soon; such a disease is particularly severe for elderly people.

A new unwelcome war on cars move (previously: 14/3, 22/10 entries): “Motorists to pay for pedestrian crossings, bike paths with congestion charge,” The Age, 19/11. “Motorists who drive to inner Melbourne will help pay for new pedestrian crossings and bike lanes through an increased parking tax negotiated between the Allan government and the Greens. […] The 73 per cent increase to the levy – intended to reduce congestion by discouraging motorists from driving to the inner city – is expected to raise an extra $100 million a year.” So, blatant revenue raising. And not everyone can or wants to ride a bicycle – and cycling is a no-go in the miserable wet weather Melbourne experiences. Of course, the car-haters in r/Melbourne estatic.

Friday 21/11: A last visit

My sister and her husband will be driving down to Melbourne this weekend for a final visit before they move up to Townsville in December (her previous visit: 8/11 entry).

Saturday 22/11: 7 weeks

Seven weeks since Dad’s passing (4/10 entry). The initial shock has lessened, but the pain is still there, and always will be.

Sunday 23/11: Sister visit; file upload problems again?; homelessness articles; buyer’s regret

Weather is turning humid, rainy and unsettled for a few days; typical for this time of year. My sister and her husband visited briefly in the afternoon. They depart for Wagga Wagga tomorrow afternoon. Several mentions of my parents’ home that I currently live in to be sold next year (hint, hint). Don’t know where I will go as the possible accommodation (18/11 entry) may or may not eventuate.

They visited Mum at Camberwell Gables earlier this morning; the gastro outbreak is still prevalent, though more on the ground floor, not the first floor where Mum resides. She seems to be mostly recovered, but I will not visit until later this week.

Am having file upload trouble again (8/10 entry) for my domain name account (Hostgator; sub-let); the size of this file (500+ KB) seems to be a problem all of a sudden? Though I have not had such trouble before. Very frustrating as I do not have direct access to the CPanel. Edit: I seem to have solved this (maybe?) in FileZilla by changing Settings → Connection → Timeout in seconds to 0 (infinity). The file seems to take a very long time to upload; longer than normal.

Couple of articles about the homelessness crisis in America. “On the Death of Tech Idealism (and Rise of the Homeless) in Northern California,” Literary Hub, 21/11. Extract from a book by Brian Barth about the homeless crisis in Silicon Valley.

“The New American Homeless,” New Republic, 21/8/2019. Case study of a lady on a low income and her struggle to find an affordable rental.

Reading this r/RVliving post by an unhinged-sounding woman (quoted below in case it is deleted).

I bought a used motorhome couple months ago and it took me so long to get ready to go, it’s now getting cold and I realized that I don’t have the physical ability to camp by myself.

I need to sell it, but the local RV dealer doesn’t buy RVs in the winter time. I haven’t winterized it because I don’t know how. I don’t even know the first thing about anything when it comes to motorhomes. I do know, however, that I can’t just let it sit over the winter time because it’s not winterized and it has Nearly full gray and black water tanks, and a half full freshwater tank. I have the tank heaters on, but that’s it. I’ve never even used a dump station before.

I have no idea what I can do. I feel so stupid. I bought it for $63,000. It’s got minor issues that need fixed but nothing major. It’s a 2022 cross trail. Right now, I’m driving it as my only vehicle and I live in the city. I need a real car, but I can’t get one unless I sell this freaking RV. I’m so lost and just don’t know what to do. Any advice would be a greatly appreciated.

In her post history I learned that nitrous oxide addiction is a thing! With unpleasant long term side effects. Relevant post reproduced below:

I have been doing nitrous since 2018. For a long while, I was doing 600 canisters at a time twice a week. I want to inform everyone here about how this has affected me.

I’m totally disabled now. I’m incontinent of urine and stool. I had a stroke while on a binge and lost some use of my left arm and leg. I have anemia due to vitamin B12 deficiency caused directly by the nitrous. When I started using, my husband was flabbergasted because I couldn’t stop and even preferred it over sex. We were both amateur porn stars?!, so that was a big deal. He eventually divorced me.

He and I would do 1100ug of acid twice a week, or mescaline, shrooms, ecstasy or we’d combine them. That heavy drug use was dangerous but it was nothing compared to what nitrous has done to me.

Obviously I had a lot of money to afford all those drugs. In 2018, I owned a nice house and got a salary of $110,000.

Today (5 years later) I have nothing. My life fell apart due to a series of bad decisions because nitrous messed with my judgement. I have been diagnosed with dementia and severe depression. I’ve lost my job, my house, and most of my stuff. I married a conman who took my money, furniture, and cats. Part of that was my fault because the nitrous clouded my judgement.

I’m now living rent-free in a high crime area. My only friend is letting me stay here to give me an escape route from the conman, and give me a chance to save some money from my disability checks. But guess what … I can’t save shit because I can’t stop using.

All it took was 5 years of use and my entire life has been ruined. I expect to end up in a nursing home or dead by the end of the year.

Hopefully you guys already know this, but it is extremely important to take high doses of vitamin B12 if you use nitrous on a regular basis. More importantly, please get help if you find that you can’t stop using. Don’t let yourself end up like me.

Monday 24/11: Last sight of sister; a painful walk

Warming up for a few days: humid, unsettled weather is forecast. I did not go to see Mum today due to the gastro outbreak from last week (23/11 entry); will wait until later this week.

My sister stopped by briefly as she & her husband are driving up back to their home in Wagga Wagga this afternoon. That will be the last time I see her in person this year; her husband is deployed to the Army base in Townsville so they are moving up there in December for 3 years. A visit down here will involve flying; no weekend drives down anymore. I feel like I am being abandoned.

Went on a walk on the backstreets around King George VI Memorial Reserve. Rather psychologically painful as I kept thinking, The last time I walked this route, Dad was still alive.

Tuesday 25/11: Download files onto iPhone; shonky sharehouse provider

Weather fine, with a cool breeze. Walked to Southland SC this morning; took the 822 bus back home.

Discovered that I can download large files via Wi-Fi onto my iPhone by selecting the Settings → Apps → Safari → Downloads → option, then selecting Store downloaded files on: On My iPhone. I can then AirDrop the files to my MacBook (and transfer these to external drives). Saves me taking my MacBook along when I want to download over Wi-Fi (as I don’t have this at home since 31/5).

“Growing complaints against Sydney shared housing provider ShareSorted,” ABC News, 24/11. An article reaffirming how dodgy sharehousing can be (14/11 entry), and thus would be a last resort for myself.

Wednesday 26/11: Bloggers, please update! Boring topics

Walked to Southland SC again this morning to return an item that I bought yesterday (change-of-mind – did not really need it). Fine on the walk there, but a rain front passed over while inside – I could see dark clouds approaching during my walk – and rain started pouring down when I was inside, so I took the 822 bus home again.

Am somewhat irritably wishing that people who keep blogs would update them more often! So annoying to visit a site daily and see that their blog has not been updated for months. I have a few “regulars” whom I visit and many rarely update.

Read a post by Manual Moreale about blog technology topics that he finds boring: “Five least favourite tech topics.” My boring general topics include: photos (landscapes, etc.), exercise (running, bicycling), obscure/arcane programming, gaming (as I don’t game – 3/9/2024 entry – I don’t care about your gaming prowess or what you’ve played!), AI hype and hysteria (extremists on both sides).

“After Five Years of Pro iPhones, I’m Going iPhone 16 Plus This Year,” Federico Viticci at MacStories, 3/10/2024. “The iPhone 16 Plus isn’t the most powerful model Apple makes. But for me, its combination of color, texture, reduced weight, and modern features makes it the most pleasant, fun experience I’ve had with an iPhone in a long time.” Positive review of the iPhone 16 Plus (which seems to be a bit of an orphan iPhone now).

Thursday 27/11: Visited Mum; food is boring; The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables; she has recovered from last Thursday’s gastro outbreak. I rang her cousin Dawn Harbour, then my sister and she had a chat with both. Dawn will be 100 next year (I think?) – I fear losing her too! The last time I saw her in person was at my maternal Gran’s 100th birthday party in 1998 (hosted at my cousin Heather Drummond’s house – she does not live there anymore). Dawn lives in Ballarat, and thus as I am without a car and can’t drive, she may as well be overseas from my perspective – frustrating for me!

I will add another boring blogging topic to those I noted yesterday (26/11 entry): food! Photos of what the blogger ate, recipes, etc.. I really don’t care and am not interested!

Read an autobiography, The Girl’s Guide to Homelessness (2011) by Brianna Karp. An annoyingly deceptive title, as it is more about her tumultuous relationships with family and a loser boyfriend, rather than an actual practical guide. And her account of the abuse she purportedly suffered is extremely over-the-top in places (how did she not suffer permanent physical damage from the abuse inflicted upon her by her mother?). This reviewer provided a decent critique. “The book’s title hit most people for a loop when they read the book. For a book that touts itself as a guide to homelessness, Brianna offers at most thirty full pages of information about how one can function when homeless, and much of it is stale information. […] Also problematic is that Brianna is a foolish young woman. Very foolish. And an entire book of her foolishness is only worth reading because of the trainwreck factor.” One of the most ludicrous incidents was the author’s having a miscarriage and disposing of the foetus in a river. WTF?! “Trainwreck reading” is an apt description, so still worth reading for that factor. There is an old interview with her at The Guardian: “I’m one of America’s new homeless,” 30/10/2009.

Friday 28/11: Culling photos; tech ennui

Went through my iPhone photos and deleted a whole lot of them, mainly landscapes, flora and such. People, particularly family, I keep; more generic photos such as the aforementioned landscapes are not important.

Riccardo Mori has one of his unfortunately infrequent but worthwhile posts: “This time it’s not fatigue, but disconnection,” on technology disillusionment. The magic that he experienced when younger has vanished. ”It’s no mystery for those who have been reading this blog or have been following me on social media for a long time, that my enthusiasm for technology has been dwindling for a while — I’d say for at least two years, maybe more — with occasional sparks that have brought me back from a general state of tech ennui.” Technology no longer serves to empower its users, but to exploit them. A ChatGPT summary:

The writer describes feeling increasingly disconnected and disillusioned with modern technology. This isn’t due to boredom or personal apathy, but rather a defensive response to how the tech industry has evolved — toward profit-chasing, user manipulation, and shallow hype.

They reflect on their long, once-joyful relationship with tech: early fascination with computers, a creative career built around Macs and desktop publishing, the excitement of the early web, and the golden era of Apple’s resurgence in the 2000s. Technology once felt empowering, innovative, and genuinely useful.

But the introduction of the iPhone and the App Store marked a turning point. Software became devalued, subscription models took over, and companies shifted toward strategies the author sums up as “monetise and weaponise” — using products as bait to capture users, harvest data, and fuel endless growth. Tech now feels designed not to help people, but to benefit corporations.

This shift has eroded trust. The author sees similar patterns spreading across other industries — gaming, cars, advertising, entertainment — where monetisation, nostalgia mining, and habit-hooking tactics overshadow creativity and real progress.

They argue that users often stick with platforms out of convenience or a sense of lock-in, not genuine satisfaction. Meanwhile, tech companies push hype instead of true innovation, with marketing driving the industry more than engineering or user needs.

Despite this, the author is looking for bright spots — companies that still build focused, purpose-driven products, like Valve’s recent hardware. They’re also trying to help others see past tech hype and reclaim a sense of agency. They don’t reject technology itself; they reject the way power has shifted so that people increasingly serve technology rather than the other way around.

I have similar feelings; my initial enthusiasm for Apple has cooled a bit since transitioning to the operating system from Windows last year; macOS has its own irritating quirks and frustrations. I have no desire to try Linux, which is still not really user-friendly and may or may not work on various computer configurations (and its user base is annoyingly evangelistic – 6/5, 3/8 entries).

Saturday 29/11: Wi-Fi frustrations; more photo culling; user/PeaceKind1857

Eight weeks since Dad passed (4/10 entry).

Feeling a bit irritable today. Did not want to go anywhere particularly, though I ended up walking to Bentleigh Library. Also frustrating as I could not get my iPhone to stay connected to the library’s Wi-Fi for some reason, though my MacBook connected normally. Gave up with frustration and returned home.

Culled a lot more of my iPhone photos; down to around 800 or so, nearly half of what I did have. I really only look at the ones of people I know (family and friends), so those are kept.

Reddit user Realistic_Read_5956 (26/5, 28/8, 14/9 entries) hid his posts under that name, but also posts under the username PeaceKind1987.

Sunday 30/11: No Wi-Fi login problems today; VanDwellers.org and 100 × 100

On my iPhone, I logged into the free Telstra Wi-Fi at a landline phone booth in East Bentleigh this morning during a walk up there and back – and had no problems doing this – so yesterday’s inability to login to the library’s Wi-Fi (29/11 entry) was definitely some setting on the library’s part. I can also login to the Apple Store Wi-Fi at Southland or Chadstone SCs when in range.

Went to the library and accessed the Wi-Fi on my iPhone with no issues, so I don’t know what was wrong yesterday?

Came across a website, VanDwellers.org (not updated since 2015) by Romana Starfield, who lives in Australia. She has a free downloadable (though password-protected) guide to vandwelling. On page 38 she mentions Michael Wolf’s 100 × 100 photography project, featuring photos of the occupants of one-room apartments in Hong Kong.

Taking a lesson from those who live in small spaces

One web page I love is Michael Wolf’s 100 × 100 (previously: 18/6/2017, 21/12/2024 entries). It features a series of photos of public housing in Hong Kong where people live in small rooms, 10 feet by 10 feet, or 100 square feet. Some people have very elaborate set ups, with built in cupboards, bunk beds and fold out desks. Others have much simpler arrangements. One of my favourites though is image 93. This shows a man with a simple bed, an open framed set of plastic shelves, an electric slow cooker and electric pot. That is pretty much it, nothing else. No decorations on the wall. That is a perfect example of minimisation. Having the bare minimum you need to get something done.

The opposite of that is room number 79. In this room the owner sits among piles of stuff. There is a bunk bed hidden in the back, but stacked high with bags of all sorts of stuff. On the left is a cupboard, and a large television which is itself covered in even more stuff. Shirts hang on walls. In the foreground is a table and the back of a large ornate wooden chair. The table is stacked with stuff too. It is obvious that this guy owns a lot of things, but in such a tiny space, does he have room to use any of them? Not really. Keep in mind that 100 square feet is larger than the floor space of almost all vans apart from the largest ones.

There are many rooms that achieve a happy medium between the two extremes. That are orderly, not cluttered, but look comfortable and well off. Room 22 is the first example of many. Some even manage to make to rooms quite uncluttered despite what they have in them, such as room 12. I liked room 14 for the neat, uncluttered look, but there was obviously a lot in it. Amazingly room 2525 seemed to have been divided into two even smaller rooms. Most rooms were bright and clean inside, with number 27 being an exception to the norm, dark and dirty.

One of the rooms I like the most is room 3737. This is because it reminds me a lot of a ‘normal’ flat, yet has made amazing use of the space available. Cupboard space has been created above the bed, beneath which are draws. A desk with more in built draws holds a television while a microwave sits on top of a fridge. Shelves hold even more storage space. This is a wonderful example of small but clever living.

Lessons can be learned from how the people who lived in these small 100 square foot rooms have organised things. Some manage to make do with few things, yet manage to still clutter up their space with those few things. Some have many things, yet their rooms look uncluttered, organised and tranquil. Many strike a balance, between the two. Others manage to do it in an untidy, dirty, messy way, while others keep things very neat, clean and tidy. The lesson for the Vandweller is that you don’t have to live like a refugee in your van.

December

Monday 1/12: Cold; visited Mum

Summer begins today, not that it feels like it! Cold, windy with patches of heavy rain, like yesterday. Just want to stay huddled in front of the loungeroom gas heater. Yet Thursday is to be hot, nearly 30°C.

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables. Rang and spoke to my sister while I was in Mum’s bedroom with her. My sister and her husband undertake the process of packing up and moving to Townsville this week.

Tuesday 2/12: UNDER COVER documentary; autism and driving; Van Life forum timeshare trap; Craig Mod gatekeeping

A very pertinent documentary was screened on ABC TV last night (substituted for the advertised program): UNDER COVER: The Hidden Faces of Homelessness. “Narrated by Margot Robbie and sharing the often secret lives of an eclectic group of women across Australia, UNDER COVER shines a light on the devastating reality that women over 50 are the fastest growing cohort experiencing homelessness in the country. Their moving but optimistic portraits reveal the struggles these women face, and lay bare the flaws in our society, as well as our economic fragility in the modern world. […] UNDER COVER follows ten of these women. For these women, life hasn’t panned out the way they expected. They’ve lived in nice houses, worked good jobs, some educated their children and then suddenly … life unravelled and through no fault of their own, they found themselves unable to pay their rent or mortgage.” Compelling and poignant viewing; very much recommended.

I have previously linked to related articles about older women experiencing homelessness (3/10/2023, 30/7 entries). I am perilously close to being in such a situation myself, and, unlike most of the women featured, I have no recent employment history or skills to fall back on. Also no car, or being able to drive – some of the women in the documentary were living in their cars or vans.

“Think you’re ready to own a home? Here are the costs that experts want you to consider,” ABC News, 29/11. Even if you can afford to initially buy a home, there are a lot of hidden and ongoing expenses. I am not sure if I would want to own a home, if I were in a position to.

Also pertinent to myself is Ran Prieur’s blog post for 1/12/2025:

December 1. Today, psychology. From the Autistic Adults subreddit, Driving isn’t a neutral task for everyone. For many autistic people, it’s a high-stakes multitasking nightmare. I think autism will eventually be understood as multiple different conditions, because descriptions of what it’s like to be autistic are all over the map, and often contradictory. For example, this thread, your favorite part of being autistic, includes both hyper-logic and hyper-empathy, both intellect and intuition, both sense of style and indifference to style. Even in the driving thread, there’s a sub-thread about autistic people who love driving.

I haven’t been diagnosed with anything, and I think I’m a better fit for schizoid than autistic. The way it seems to me is that neurotypicals have a mode I call “self-driving human”. They can “zone out” or “stop thinking” and their body automatically does the right thing while their conscious mind can just sit back and watch. I’ve never done this. When I’m driving, I have to constantly pump out my attention: look at the white line, look at the speedometer, look at the mirror. If I zone out, I crash. Even in my own apartment, I need fully conscious attention to not bump into things. Even when I’m walking, I have to monitor and instruct my mechanics and posture or I get stiff and slouchy. I live life through a straw. Peak performance is not expansive but contractive, not tuning into some larger being, but tuning out everything but this one little move, which in total isolation, with unlimited time, can be done perfectly. This is the opposite of driving, and the opposite of how this society is tooled.

Came across this 2022 post in the Van Living Forum: “Just so you know Escapees has a Co-Op in Pahrump NV that is full hookup for $330 a month plus electric. Membership is less than $100 a year and has a lot of extras that come with it. First time visitors get a full week stay for $75. You might want to check it out.” This is essentially a timeshare, and these are financial traps! Easy to buy into, difficult to exit (see my ordeal with getting Dad out of the Kyneton Bushland Resort timeshare he had – 8/3/2024, 1/6/2024, 24/7/2024, 7/8/2024, 17/8/2024 entries).

I have previously mentioned Craig Mod, a Westerner living in Japan, in my 23/11/2023 and 25/11/2023 entries. But I am finding his writings rather irritating. His constant promotion of his books at every opportunity gets annoying. There is also the hypocritical “gatekeeping” attitude he demonstrates when he expresses his irritation about other tourists daring to invade the obscure small businesses he likes so much, as expressed in this Ridgeline newsletter, “Overtourism in Japan, and How it Hurts Small Businesses.” Perhaps he should show a bit of gratitude that many small businesses would close without such tourism? And then there is his latest post, “No Phones in The Ten-don Shop.” “The shop was run by the crankiest husband and wife you ever met. […] But they had rules, and you had better obey those rules. First, no talking. […] And, no books. […] I started eating there just as Japanese flip phones were becoming a thing. So that rule, too – no phones, even though they were far more benign than anything we have today, no doom scrolling, no photographing your food for foolish algorithms. The ‘like’ did not yet exist. You could accrue no followers and in this way these old phones were pure, but still, they were a distraction from the task at hand. So: No phones.” (Enough with the smartphone hate, already!) Any café who had proprietors with that bossy attitude would not get my repeat business!

Wednesday 3/12: Heating up; sister moves out; restored photo library

Weather is heating up, in contrast to Monday’s chill. Walked to Southland SC this morning. My sister and her husband locked up their house today, and will drive to Moree tomorrow (8 hours!) then 3 nights in Brisbane on Friday, on the way to Townsville.

Had second thoughts about deleting some photos (28/11 entry). Tried restoring the database from a Time Machine backup on the external drive I keep for that purpose; will iCloud sync correctly though? The photos are a muddle of various imports from my previous iPads and iPhones, as well as some from other places. I did copy the original library to a couple of external drives also (as I usually do) before culling photos, and there is the option in the Photos app to export selected photos also. Ugh, such a mess – I do miss Windows for these tasks, as the files were easier to access.

I walked to the library to sync over their free Wi-Fi and the restoration appears to have worked, thankfully! I have sorted the photos into albums, and some of these are stored in folders. I can put an album in multiple folders. I currently have 1,727 photos (not all mine – some are saved from Messages, some imported).

Thursday 4/12: Read There is No Place for Us; unwanted social media ban begins

Warm, but now with an annoyingly strong northerly wind. Walked to the library but, also annoyingly, it was closed for an “all-staff training and development day.” Wasted effort!

Finished reading There is No Place for Us” by Brian Goldstone, on the homelessness crisis in Atlanta, USA, profiling the struggles of five families there (all Black Americans, a particularly disadvantaged group). They barely survive on poverty-level wages while trying to secure housing and slaving away in low-wage jobs. If any housing becomes available it is too often barely-habitable hovels, and predatory landlords and companies profit from the desperation of the less-well-off. There is no secure housing, and tenants can be evicted with short or no notice. The book is an exhausting but compelling read, and a sober reminder of how easily people can become homeless. Two 2019 articles by Brian Goldstone: “The New American Homeless,” 21/8/2019 and “3 kids. 2 paychecks. No home,” 26/11/2019.

The stupidly patronizing social media ban for teenagers begins from today (officially begins on 10/12). The unwanted interference of the Australian “Nanny State” yet again. I hope teens find ways to circumvent the ban. I have utter contempt for the eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant and the technologically-illiterate, clueless politicians who support the ban – the hysterical “Think of the children!” reaction.

As a counter to this, “The Age-Gated Internet Is Sweeping the US. Activists Are Fighting Back,” Wired, 3/12. “Sarah Philips believes the laws are a direct threat to democratic freedom. ‘These are censorship laws,’ she says.”

Friday 5/12: Visited Mum; a walk; hot water heater high energy usage; prickly people

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables. Rang and spoke to her cousin Dawn Harbour while I was with her.

Went for a walk in the early afternoon: eastwards over East Boundary Road, and along backstreets then west down the 701 bus route and home. Warmed up, though not as hot as yesterday. I have to be vigilant about where I walk – the pavements are cracked and uneven, no thanks to invasive tree roots, so it is easy to trip and fall if you lose focus, as I have previously done (25/1/2022, 28/8/2022 entries).

Got an Energy Usage Insights email from AGL today. According to its statistics, “We estimate that 55% of your usage went towards electric hot water. 40% of your electricity was used in the night between 12am and 6am. You used an estimated 2% more electricity on your electric hot water than similar homes.” That seems an awful lot, seeing as I don’t think I use that much hot water? The Rheem 315 litres electric heater was manufactured on 1 December 2015 (MODEL NUMBER 492315R7; SERIAL NUMBER 05788741), which makes it exactly 10 years old (well, 10 years and 4 days), so it is probably near the end of its life. But a new one would be nearly $1000, and would it be worth it considering that I might be having to leave in the next year?

Good comment by seneca regarding the unwelcome Internet age restrictions that governments are imposing (4/12 entry): “‘Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.’(Robert Heinlein) If you hand power to the state every time people fail to properly handle their responsibilities, you end up in a dictatorship. It is a parent’s responsibility to keep their kids away from the dark corners of the internet. Thoughtful regulation would create tools to allow them to do that easily, not hand parenting over to governments.”

Louie Mantia, “an artist and designer, with a 20-year focus on icon design and illustration,” seems to be one of those peculiarly difficult people who take offense to seemingly innocuous comments. Two examples from his Mastodon account are quoted below:

tambourineman: I wish Apple got rid of him because it wanted to change direction, not because it lost him.

Louie Mantia, Jr.: Curious what would lead you to believe I did not know this.

tambourineman: sorry, just commenting.

Louie Mantia, Jr.: Sorry, are you saying you weren’t talking to me?

tambourineman: I was. But I didn’t mean to imply you didn’t know this already. I was just commenting that I would be more relieved if Apple had fired him.

Louie Mantia, Jr.: Yeah, alright. But why were you telling *me* that?

tambourineman: never mind Louie, I think we have a different idea of how public forums work. Won’t happen again

Note how Mantia immediately – and bafflingly – retorts with a defensive hostility. While it can be difficult to interpret mood from text only, his irrational reaction is evident to me.

Riccardo Mori posts his thoughts on a similar interaction:

I was starting to worry because I hadn’t seen posts from @louie in a while. Turns out he has blocked me. Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe I was too enthusiastic in agreeing with him, liking his contributions, and trying to engage. If these are the charges, yes, I plead guilty.

This is not an attempt to change the status quo, or, as we used to say on that other platform, ‘subtweeting’. I’m not being passive-aggressive either. I respect his decision. I just don’t understand it. At least another guy on Twitter 6 years ago sort of gave a warning to his followers: “If you do this thing with me, I’m gonna block you”. It’s okay. Moving on.

Josh Calvetti: Louie has always sat at the crux of interesting opinions and an insanely high level of self-conceit. It’s unfortunately not a great combo for interaction.

Riccardo Mori: This marvellously succinct analysis is so damn accurate. It’s like a sniper hitting a target from 1 kilometre away in breezy conditions.

People with Mantia’s prickly attitude are simply not worth the effort of trying to placate. Best avoided.

Saturday 6/12: 9 weeks; more Mantia moanings; MacBook minimalists

Nine weeks since Dad’s passing (4/10 entry).

Walked to Southland SC this morning. Rain began falling not long before I arrived there; fortunately I was not far away. Took the 822 bus back home. Rain forecast for the rest of today.

Louie Mantia (5/12 entry) has another whinge about his lack of control over commenters. Well, don’t post on social media and expect everyone to agree with you! And people do sometimes wander off-topic; that’s the organic nature of conversations.

I am convinced that some people merely scan social media posts for words that jump out at them and treat those words as if they were the “subject” of the post, negating the rest of it.

I can write a post specifically about YouTube auto-dubbing being awful, and someone will reply about something else. And if you follow me, you probably know how much this sort of thing bothers me. It’s as if they only saw the words “YouTube” and “awful” and thought “you know what else is awful about YouTube –”

It’s an unaddressable problem. I know that. For some reason, I can’t merely ignore such posts, so I usually engage to try to understand. Almost every time, I’m met with a defensive attitude, that it totally relates to what I said (it doesn’t) or that this (my replies) is a public forum (it is not).

And then I block them. Which feels way too harsh every time, but I have no other tools to remedy this. There’s no moderation I can do *before* their post is tied to mine. Instead, it’s stuck there.

It’s been 20 years of social media, and we still don’t have good moderation controls. All I want is the ability to moderate replies *before.* I don’t want to turn off replies (though sometimes I would if I could!), nor do I want to make my account private.

I just want the ability to prevent a reply from showing up under my posts unless I said it’s okay. People who I follow or have followed me for 1 year get reply rights. Everyone else’s reply gets manually moderated by me. For instance.

Adding reply moderation controls would solve virtually *all* of my social media problems. It’s all I want. It would entirely remove the notion that people are *entitled* to reply to posts just by virtue of them being public posts.

We’ve had this with forums. We’ve had it with blogs. This is not hard. This is not an unknowable problem. We know it, we know how to do it. It’s just never seemingly done for modern social media. @Mastodon, please, I’m begging you.

There was a recent MacRumors post on MacBook Air minimalism in which I replied. Interesting how many choose my own minimalist option of only owning an iPhone and MacBook Air! The hardware is so good that little else is necessary (software is another matter, with all the bugs and gripes about the latest operation system, OS26).

Sunday 7/12: Read Abandoned; car dwelling links

Sunny today, but with an uncomfortably cold southerly breeze.

Walked to the library; it opens at 12 p.m. on Sundays, annoyingly, which means time wasted waiting. And it will be closed for Christmas Day and Boxing Day – the main reason I dislike Christmas now is that everything either shuts down for the holidays, or there are reduced services (public transport being a lamentable example).

Finished another “misery memoir,” Abandoned by Anya Peters. Located in the UK, she details her awful abusive life in her family as an unwanted illegitemate child, then having to live in her car for a few months after a mental breakdown. Her Blogspot blog is (surprisingly) still online.

I find myself looking at cars as I walk and wondering what they would be like to sleep in! Some models are more suited to this than others (Toyota Prius hybrids seem to be favored, going by r/PriusDwellers, though the model has been discontinued in Australia, unfortunately). Shows how much this idea has occupied me for the last few months (28/8, 14/9, 23/9, 21/10, 24/10, 31/10, 5/11, 27/11, 2/12 entries). Might as well list a few links:

Monday 8/12: To Townsville

Weather is warming up again. Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables.

My sister and her husband stayed the weekend in Brisbane, and depart today for the drive north to Townsville, broken up over two days. The city is in the tropics, with the heat and humidity that entails, as well as a cyclone season. There is a recent Moving to Townsville (from Melbourne) post in the relevant subReddit.

Tuesday 9/12: Last Linda session

Had my last telehealth session with psychologist Linda Stinton. I quite like her; she is good to talk to. I might be able to qualify for the 10 bulk-billed counselling sessions next year if I ask my GP (whom I have an appointment with this Friday).

Walked to East Bentleigh to post two Christmas cards to relatives (Dawn Harbour and my Aunt). I rarely use postal mail now, but some people do not have email and mobile phones. I then took a detour to walk around King George VI Memorial Reserve as the weather is sunny and pleasant today.

My sister and her husband arrived in Rockhampton, yesterday, covering about 500km (and 1,250 km from Wagga Wagga to Brisbane!). Today, 700km last stretch to Townsville.

Wednesday 10/12: Unwanted social media ban begins

The odious social media ban begins today in Australia, much to our shame. The Prime Minister has typically clueless advice: “In a video address, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese encouraged kids to ‘make the most of school holidays coming up, rather than spending it scrolling on your phone. Start a new sport, learn a new instrument or read that book that’s been sitting there on your shelf for some time. Importantly, spend quality time with your friends and your family, face to face.’” Well, young people can do all that without censoring their main means of communicating with their peers. “Some underage users have previously vowed to find a way around the ban, and the law only says platforms must take ‘reasonable steps’ to prevent them from having accounts.” I hope the underage users rebel and do so! There is nothing more aggravating than clueless adults trying to dictate their behavior. If I were a parent, I would certainly be helping my child/ren find ways to circumvent the ban.

Two of the hysterics who initiated the ban are Jonathan Haidt and the South Australian premier’s wife: “A US psychologist prescribed a social media ban for kids. How did Australia become the test subject?” To hell with them and all the technologically-illiterate idiots who support the ban.

The Declaration of Internet Freedom:

We stand for a free and open Internet.

We support transparent and participatory processes for making Internet policy and the establishment of five basic principles:

  1. Expression: Don‘t censor the Internet.
  2. Access: Promote universal access to fast and affordable networks.
  3. Openness: Keep the Internet an open network where everyone is free to connect, communicate, write, read, watch, speak, listen, learn, create and innovate.
  4. Innovation: Protect the freedom to innovate and create without permission. Don’t block new technologies and don’t punish innovators for their users' actions.
  5. Privacy: Protect privacy and defend everyone’s ability to control how their data and devices are used.

This was admittedly written during a more idealistic time, when Big Tech had not yet dominated the Internet – and governments were still at a loss how to control access – but it is still relevant.

Thursday 11/12: Sunny; visited Mum; a family of widows

Fine and sunny with an easterly breeze, after a cool morning. Hot tomorrow, forecast for 32°C or so.

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables. Rang and spoke with her cousin Dawn Harbour while we were in Mum’s bedroom. Dawn mailed me 3 photos of herself and close relatives – she is 98! Gran’s side of my family seem to be long-lived. Coincidentally, wives outlived husbands in the case of both sets of my grandparents, my maternal Uncle passed before his wife in 2021 (17/9/2021 entry – Aunty Bae is still alive, though I have not seen her in decades), my paternal Aunt (in Tasmania) outlived her husband.

Friday 12/12: Visited GP; banning won’t stop bullying

Hot – low 30s today.

I visited my GP Dr. Alison Zhang today – a 50-minute train journey (get 8:30 a.m. from Patterson Station to Moorabbin, then a city-bound train to South Yarra Station, change there for a Sandringham line train, alight at Hampton Station). There is a nice view of Port Phillip Bay enroute along the Sandringham line. Renewed the migraine Imigran (Sumatriptan) prescription tablets, my medical certificate and compiled a Mental Health Plan for Linda Stinton (9/12 entry).

Another person to blame for initiating the odious social media under-16s ban (10/12 entry): “Bathurst mother Emma Mason’s advocacy for social media ban piques interests of global leaders and media,” ABC News, 12/12. One woman’s personal tragedy should not be made a reason to impose restrictions on everyone. Bullying will never be eliminated as it is an unfortunate trait of human nature, and there certainly was bullying before social media was invented.

Saturday 13/12: 10 weeks; a long walk

Ten weeks since that surreal and strange day of Dad’s passing (4/10 entry).

Went for a long walk, eastwards towards Centenary Park and around the backstreets there. A nice area, with houses dating from the 1950s onwards. My school classmate Melinda Hansen’s old house at 1 Opal Court is still there (29/6/2022 entry), though I think she might have moved out years ago. I have not seen any of my classmates for years or decades.

Sunday 14/12: Apple ID lockout; dark patterns again; Avatar apathy

“Apple has locked my Apple ID, and I have no recourse. A plea for help,” Hacker News, and the original blog post by Dr Paris Buttfield-Addison, “20 Years of Digital Life, Gone in an Instant, thanks to Apple.” “A major brick-and-mortar store sold an Apple Gift Card that Apple seemingly took offence to, and locked out my entire Apple ID, effectively bricking my devices and my iCloud Account, Apple Developer ID, and everything associated with it, and I have no recourse.” This appears to be Apple Gift Card transactions mistaken as fraudulent, and the hapless account holder’s Apple ID subsequently was locked, with no recourse for appeal. (John Gruber and Michael Tsai have posted about the issue, which might give the topic some traction.) I have bought Apple gift cards at retail outlets myself and used them for Apple products; so far with no problems – but I might rethink that in future!

This is the downside of the locked-in Apple ecosystem (or that of Google or Microsoft) – getting locked out of your account is a major disaster for your digital life, with so much functionality in society dependent upon one’s digital ID and passwords. And self-hosting, as some in the HN comments suggest, is not an option for many users who are not technologically-adept.

A MacRumors forum member warned that Apple is practicing dark patterns again (30/9 entry)! Trying to force reluctant users to upgrade to the much-criticized OS 26 Tahoe. Am very disappointed and disillusioned with Apple now, in contrast to my initial new user’s enthusiasm last year – the company is barely better than Microsoft in that regard. A sad contrast to the Steve Jobs era, and the company’s original ethos.

The first Avatar movie was screened (yet again!) on free-to-air TV last night – the third movie in the series is to be released soon. But I found myself becoming bored with the predictable plot and switched over after a while. My interest in the Pandora universe faded during the 13-year gap between the original and its sequel (as happened with my own world building project), and I have no interest in it now. I rather wistfully recall my enthusiasm over the then-mysterious new movie in the months before its release in 2009; I saw it in the cinema and was awed by its gorgeous visuals.

Monday 15/12: Watched Avatar: The Way of Water

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables. Mild morning with a cool breeze. Temperature forecast to climb into the mid-30s from Wednesday to Friday, so the hot weather period has started.

Watched Avatar: The Way of Water on free-to-air TV last night. Four hours, including ad breaks! I somehow managed to stay awake for all of that time, though I was getting a bit bored during the lengthy battle scenes. The story was reasonably interesting and the visual effects superb, but I have little desire to view it again. The third in the series, Avatar: Fire and Ash is due to be released this Friday. I would not make an effort to go see it (unless someone would take me!); it is another long haul (197 minutes/3.28 hours) and I can’t go that long at my age without a bathroom break. (I have not been to the cinema in over a decade; my last cinema movie was Superman, way back on 3/7/2013.)

There seems to be a classical elements theme in the titles: the original did not have a tagline, but could be regarded as the earth element; its sequel is water and the third is fire. There are a fourth and fifth movies scheduled, so air and aether (void) remain.

Tuesday 16/12: Caravan parks affordable; one desktop only; Web 30-year overview; avoiding vendor lock-in

“Queenslanders turn to living in caravan parks amid housing affordability crisis,” ABC News, 11/12. Rising rents are forcing some elderly people to buy a caravan and live in a caravan park.

“Desktop Follies,” Nice Marmot, 15/12 (and the blog entry, “Window managers? Why?” that he refers to). On preferring single-window, single-app mode on the iPad and Mac. I am one who prefers that also – as I did on Windows. I never use the multiple desktops feature, or split the screen to view two or more programs at once.

Via Lobsters, “30 years of <br> tags,” Christoffer Artmann, 13/12. An overview of how the Web has developed over the last 30 years. I miss the old Web days of any amateur learning basic HTML and constructing a website on one of the free hosts available then (R.I.P. Yahoo! Geocities). I miss businesses having a designated “webmaster” (often, any employee who could type HTML and CSS). The rot set in from the late 2000s, when increasing complexity turned web development into an esoteric profession. One comment summarizes my understanding also: “I understood most things up until around 2008, but after this I didn’t embrace the new technologies. HTML, CSS, PHP and Javascript makes sense to me.”

“Breaking down the Apple walls,” Jason Journals, 16/12. Jason McFadden decides not to put all his eggs in one basket, as the walled garden is dangerously seductive: very convenient to use, but devastating to the user if they are locked out, as Dr Paris Buttfield-Addison found out (14/12 entry) – still no resolution for him. I do backup my iPhone photos manually to external hard drives (/Users/username/Pictures). “Photos does store pictures as files in the folder. The .photoslibrary is a package (which is just a directory) you can open and pictures are stored in originals/.” (HN). You can also enable Settings → Apple Account → iCloud → Access iCloud Data on the Web, then request a data download, which usually takes a few days to fulfil. Apple Notes are downloaded as plain text files.

Wednesday 17/12: Visited Mum with Di; another literary scandal

Hot today and until the weekend at least. Di Pompilio, mother of Michele’s longtime friend Jan Leigh, (previously: 28/10 entry), picked me up and we drove to Camerbwell Gables in the afternoon to visit Mum, which we all enjoyed.

Found out about another literary scandal in the making (previous one mentioned: John Hughes – 26/2/2023, 15/3/2023 entries). This concerning a memoir, The Salt Path, about an English couple who become homeless after financial difficulties and decide to walk a long nature trail in the UK. The husband supposedly has a degenerative illness that is invariably fatal within 8 or so years, though he has lived much longer. There is an exposé in The Observer (referred to from the Guardian).

Thursday 18/12: Hot; a long walk; rang HousingVic; Paris’ Apple Account restored

Hot today; 37°C forecast! As I did on Tuesday, I walked to Southland SC this morning, then walked to the library and back. I covered 10.6 km for both days! Difficult in this heat, though; probably will not go again when it is this hot.

Rang HousingVic (on 1800149361 – the Application Team number) to enquire about the progress of my application (previously: 17/10 entry). The nice lady told me it was in the system but still to be processed due to high demand (a few weeks yet). She told me my Client ID number as well as the Housing Reference Register number. So at least I have an update.

Paris Buttfield-Addison, the Apple developer who had his account locked (14/12 entry) has had it restored: “Update 18 December 2025: We’re back! A lovely man from Singapore, working for Apple Executive Relations, who has been calling me every so often for a couple of days, has let me know it’s all fixed. It looks like the gift card I tried to redeem, which did not work for me, and did not credit my account, was already redeemed in some way (sounds like classic gift card tampering), and my account was caught by that. Obviously it’s unacceptable that this can happen, and I’m still trying to get more information out of him, but at least things are now mostly working. Strangely, he did tell me to only ever buy gift cards from Apple themselves; I asked if that means Apple’s supply chain of Blackhawk Network, InComm, and other gift card vendors is insecure, and he was unwilling to comment. I’ll post a more substantive update soon!” John Gruber posts, “Are Apple Gift Cards safe to redeen?” And ordinary users are unlikely to get the same level of publicity if they are locked out: “More troublingly, if this can happen to such a high-profile Apple user, I have to assume it also afflicts everyday users who lack the media reach to garner coverage.” (TidBITS) Given how perilously easy it seems to be for one’s account to be locked for obscure reasons, such cards do not appear safe at all.

Friday 19/12: Menacing mentally ill

Weather has become more humid, overcast and unsettled with rain on the way later. There was some light rain late this morning also.

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables; rang her cousin Dawn Harbour so they could chat. (Dawn is a daughter of one of Gran’s sisters, Clarise Mary (“Aunty Day”) – the next-eldest up from Gran.)

Saw two mentally ill people today – a woman on the Camberwell-line train going home, and a man on the 822 bus from Southland later on. Both acting erratically and aggressively. The woman was randomly and verbally harrassing an older man who was walking to Riversdale Station; she followed him all the way to the station, and onto the train, then loudly accosted a couple of other passengers. The bus man was dressed in a kaftan and had a straggly beard; he was also talking loudly to himself, and alighted at a bus stop then wandered off. I know that behaviour is not under their control (are they being treated at all, or have they “fallen through the cracks” of our inadequate mental health care system?), but it is still very unnerving for the passengers around them, and makes me wish for a car.

Saturday 20/12: Apple disillusionment; read The Salt Path

In contrast to two days ago, today is cool, overcast and drizzly.

Apple is pushing users hard to upgrade to iOS 26, despite this version still being very buggy. A workaround that involved enabling beta OS updates was recently disabled. Apple are as bad as Microsoft in forcing unwanted upgrades, and not allowing users to roll back to older OS versions – another of its dark patterns (14/12 entry). I thought Apple still had some integrity, but it increasingly seems not to. Says one forum member: “Staying on iOS 17 (& macos 14 for that matter) till i get a new phone … not an Apple phone either! i’m done with Apple; they are no longer a OS or hardware company! They are a media company and offer me nothing I will spend $$$ on. at this point i’m looking to seeing what Ive puts out. after spending the last 30 year in infosec and counting on Apple for great hardware and OS; with great security built in and with a UI/UX that, both, just worked AND fed the soul, all i can say is shame on you Cook, shame on you Apple OS developers! you let us all down! You took what was ‘insanely great’ and made it all just borderline of acceptable to only those that do not know what it was!!!” Like so many other companies, Apple has become beholden to its shareholders rather than its product users; its main motivation now is to ensure ever-increasing profits, at the expense of user experience.

Mindful of the falsification accusations against its author, Raynor Winn, I finished reading The Salt Path (17/12 entry). There were nicely lyrical descriptions of the local environment, but some of the events described seemed frankly unbelievable (as various reviewers have noted – one such is quoted below). When my family visited England in 1978, one of our outings while there was a drive to Cornwall, where we stayed in a house in Penzance, and visited Land’s End. These places are part of my now-dreamlike memories of that visit, remembered fondly.

The one-star review is mostly down to Winn’s unbelievably irritating narration. She’s able to make the most mundane scene feel completely inauthentic. The encounters in this book ring so false that I’m surprised so few people have mentioned it. Absolutely everyone they meet calls this couple old to their faces, mostly rudely, as in: “You’ve walked all that way and you’re so old! Old people, just walking and sleeping in a tent.” Really? People recoil in theatrical horror when they hear that the couple are homeless. She drops some coins and a snooty woman practically attacks her. There is an unconvincing story thread that involves people mistaking “Moth” for Simon Armitage, with lots of unfunny nudge-nudge/wink-wink dialogue – this just suddenly fizzles out to nothing. Every single encounter has the same “voice,” with some cringeworthy attempts at different accents thrown in here and there.

Winn glosses over why she and her husband became homeless in a similarly inauthentic-sounding early chapter that comes across as obfuscatory and shifty. I was also annoyed that she had the time and the means to transport all her beloved belongings to a friend’s barn but couldn’t rustle up a sunhat or some Poundland sun cream for the walk – ffs! See also: deodorant, a flannel, blister plasters. I couldn’t stomach one more scene describing how ripe she smelled. Moth has no personality at all, thanks to Winn’s inability to flesh out his character. He calls everyone “mate” and gives all their food away, which I feel Winn silently fumes about. There are passages where she describes his illness, and the prospect of losing him, which should be heartbreaking but left me unmoved.

Everything could be 100% true in this book – she obviously kept a detailed journal with a view to publishing something – but she simply can’t write authentic-sounding encounters, and it feels like she took a single instance and just repeated it several times to create anecdotes. Even her homelessness facts ring hollow and just feel like filler. I’m irritated that I couldn’t empathise or engage with this memoir because I normally love this genre. I’m not going to trump it up because of the tragic subject matter – I just couldn’t get past the emotional barrier of Winn’s writing style. (Wendy Armstrong)

Sunday 21/12: Counter-culture corrupted

I am slowly reading a book, The Apple Revolution: The Real Story of How Steve Jobs and the Crazy Ones Took Over the World by Luke Dormehl (2013), on the intersection of computing and the counter-culture of then in the 1970s. Both shared an anti-establishment hacker ethos. Reading that emphasizes the sad contrast between the idealism of that time and the awful dysfunction of computing now, where control has been taken away from users. Computing is now an ally of authoritarianism (the open-source Linux and some other OSs being holdouts).

I came across a page, “Computing and the Counterculture,” on a website, Making the Macintosh (an interesting read in itself!). Again, a poignant reminder of the idealism that has been lost with the contemporary behemoth corporation that Apple now is. I recall the Steven Levy article I linked to in my 1/10 entry, I Thought I Knew Silicon Valley. I Was Wrong.”

And speaking of Cook, how is it that the most effective political tactic for the head of a $3.4 trillion company is to march into the Oval Office and solemnly present to Trump a glass-and-gold tchotchke?

This is Apple! Who knows what Cook – a man who has more in common with Martians than MAGA – was thinking as he stood before Trump and unboxed the most dubious, most obsequious product in the company’s near-half-century. Would Steve Jobs have done that? My guess: He’d have told his team to send over a gold-plated iPod. Collect on Delivery. […]

FOR THE FIRST 30 years of my life, I did not touch a computer. Coincidentally, neither did I! See Computers and I page. I viewed those machines – for much of that time, mainframes clacking in rooms I never saw – as a dehumanizing force. I associated them with the war machine in Vietnam and the monotony of corporate life. That all changed in the early 1980s when I took an assignment to write about hackers for Rolling Stone.

To my shock and delight, I learned that the burgeoning PC industry was a nerdy successor to the political and cultural activism of the late 1960s. Some of the first computer startups sprang from the Homebrew Computer Club, organized by an antiwar activist. The club’s moderator had led the technology wing of the Berkeley Free Speech Movement. Even Bill Gates started out as a dope-toking rebel of sorts; his partner Paul Allen was a music freak who loved Jimi Hendrix. Apple cofounders Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak had barely grown out of their shaggy-haired days selling the “blue boxes” that allowed people to make illegal calls. Screw the Phone Company!

The book mentions Paul Lutus, who wrote the Apple Writer program. And John Draper, the notorious “Cap’n Crunch” who learned how to hack the phone network and make calls for free; the “blue box” device was sold for a time by Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak. An archived Esquire article, “SECRETS OF THE LITTLE BLUE BOX,” 1/10/1971, is a noteworthy read, also republished at Slate. (I was nearly a year old then!)

Another related article, “Steve Jobs and Me – He said my 1971 article inspired him. His iBook obsessed me,” Ron Rosenbaum, 7/10/2011.

Monday 22/12: Overflowing gutters; visited Mum; refusing upgrading to Tahoe

Heavy rain and a thunderstorm yesterday afternoon. The dilapidated house roof gutters overflowed as usual; the guttering and spouting need replacing – along with a lot of general maintenance for the house – but I am not in a financial position to remedy this.

Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables. An uneventful journey, thankfully! (19/12 entry.) Every time I visit I am particularly aware now that it might be the last time I see her alive.

I still have not upgraded to iOS and macOS Tahoe 26, despite Apple nagging with a persistent update red dot in Settings. There was a workaround to install iOS 18.7.3 by enabling beta updates, but Apple got wise to this and disabled it. So tired of this continuing loss of user autonomy in deciding what we can do with our operating systems. Alex Blake at Macworld wrote two articles on the poor usability of the Tahoe Liquid Glass redesign: “This Liquid Glass toggle is a window into Apple’s broken design process,” 28/8; “Apple design reset? How a key VP’s exit can fix the iPhone,” 5/11. The departure of Alan Dye was cheered by most Apple users as the Apple OS interface degraded in quality under his guidance (though I admittedly felt a bit sorry for him with the huge Internet pile-on of hate for him – I really hope he does not have mental health issues as the barrage of very personal negativity certainly would not help).

Tuesday 23/12: A long walk; Xmas lunch invite dilemna; token charity; living without money

Walked to Southland SC and took the 822 bus back home. Walked to the library and back. So am a bit tired! A little over 10 km covered.

Next-door neighbors – John and Tommasina – invited me for Xmas lunch. But I don’t eat fat and sugar due to my self-restrictive diet, so that excludes all Xmas foods. Even without that, the rich fatty recipes (roasts with gravy) will invoke terrible gastric reflux. This is why I dread any invitations to festive events – there is always food involved. My weight will creep inexorably back up if I am not vigilant (I have gone up to 42 kg or so for some reason), so it’s imperative for me to avoid temptation. I appreciate the goodwill behind the gesture, and feel bad about refusing, so am in a dilemna as to how to gracefully decline.

“Prince William and Prince George help make Christmas lunch at homelessness charity in London, ABC News, 22/12. The usual token compassionate gesture that the privileged class indulge in at this time of year, putting on a performance for the media; noblesse oblige is the historical term for it. The royals are unlikely to ever experience homelessness or hardship. I find the institution of royalty an anachronistic abomination and it should be abolished.

“Meet the woman who lives without money,” Guardian, 1/2. It involves a lot of hard work to make such a choice, and Jo Nemeth is living upon the charity of others. Her lifestyle is reminiscent of the vow of poverty (apostolic poverty) undertaken by members of some religious orders.

Wednesday 24/12: Melancholy Xmas; file downloading frustrations

Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back. Did not stay long as the place was already crowded. I hate the forced jollity of the season, especially the fake perfomative “be nice to the poor and homeless” that is only demonstrated on Xmas day, then they return to being ignored.

And, of course, this is my family’s first Christmas without Dad (4/10 entry), which puts a sad shadow on the day.

Feeling irritable and frustrated. Was trying to download a file on my MacBook and unable to do it due to Safari being an interfering busybody. This is where I miss Windows; despite its annoyances I could override it better. Both OSs have their frustrations. There is, of course, Linux and other OSs such as FreeBSD, but I would need another (refurbished/used) laptop for those.

Thursday 25/12: Visited Mum; watched The Salt Path movie

Cool today with an unpleasantly blustery south-westerly wind.

Managed to visit Mum at Camberwell Gables this morning; no problems with getting the trains there and back, though they were on a less-frequent public holiday schedule and I thus changed trains three times there and back (Frankston → Lilydale → Alamein lines). Free PT travel today, at least. While with Mum I FaceTimed with my sister and then rang Dawn Harbour, Mum’s cousin, so all were happy.

That download issue yesterday (24/12 entry) may have been related to the library’s Wi-Fi settings rather than my laptop; I tried over my iPhone hotspot at home and the download proceeded normally.

I watched The Salt Path movie, the film based on the first memoir (20/12 entry). It was fine, despite the revelations about the author overshadowing the movie’s impact. It is of the “overcoming adversity” inspirational genre. The landscapes of the South West Coast Path were ruggedly beautiful, very reminiscent for me of the coast around Inverloch, where my family holidayed annually during the 1980s.

Friday 26/12: Where Messages are stored in MacOS

Still a cold, blustery southwest wind. Public holiday again (Boxing Day) so I can’t go to the library. I did go for a long walk eastwards to Centenary Park and back, which was pleasant.

Like so much in the Apple ecosystem, there is no easy method to export Messages. I found a convoluted method via asking Duck.ai: “Messages on a MacBook are stored in a database file located at ~/Library/Messages/chat.db in Sequoia. You can access this by opening Finder, pressing Command-Shift-G, and entering the path. To open this file, you will need a database viewer or editor, such as SQLite Browser. To locate the actual Message texts, use a database viewer like SQLite Browser to open the chat.db file. Navigate to the Messages Table and look for a table named ‘message’ within the database. The texts of the messages can be found in the text column of the message table. You may also find related information such as: date – the timestamp of when the message was sent. handle_id – an identifier linking to the sender.”

Saturday 27/12: Cousin contact; absent site owners; Denny’s year of conversion

Twelve weeks … (4/10 entry).

Fine and sunny with a light breeze. Heating up over the next few days, though. Took the 627 bus to Chadstone SC and back. Busy, but not frantic. Rather tired of the constant obsession in the media with shopping and retail sales figures, though.

Received an email from one of my paternal cousins (Dad’s sister’s children), Philip – I have not seen him or his siblings for perhaps a couple of decades, sadly. Kevin, the eldest from my uncle (my aunt’s second husband), visited on 29/11/2017; 17/1/2018 entries (I was a bit judgemental in that second entry!). Ian, the middle child (born the same year as myself), sadly died on 3/1/2019 of a seizure. Philip is the youngest. There are two much older from the first marriage; they both live in England. I would love to visit England (and the USA!) if I ever had a chance to travel again; I would go to the hazily familiar places where my family went in 1975 and 1978. See where Dad grew up.

Am feeling a little bit frustrated that some of the bloggers whom I visit regularly have not updated in weeks or months. One of concern is Georg Sørtun of Gunlaug.com, who has not updated since 2023; his last post was in December 2023, where he had undergone some serious surgery and was in general ill-health.

“2025 End of year personal computing check-in, 26/12. Denny Henke (4/9 entry) sums up his year of his 180° turnaround from Apple advocate to hater, and conversion to the Linux operating system. “I had no idea at the beginning of the year that I would completely flip the table of my 30+ years of Apple-based computing. I had no idea that by the end of my first year of using GNU/Linux and Free Software that I would not only be using an entirely different computing ecosystem but that I would be so delighted with it.” He has some salient points regarding data sovereignity and not being dependent upon cloud services, but the Linux route involves a lot of inconvenience and technical ability.

Sunday 28/12: Native nuisances

Fine and sunny, but heating up this afternoon and until Wednesday, at least.

I found after a quick search that Georg Sørtun (27/12 entry) has a Facebook page, though entries are not open to public viewers.

A couple of articles on what I regard is the stupidity of protecting native fauna that are in nuisance numbers (5/7, 10/10 entries):

Scientific researchers quoted in the articles are defending the wildlife, but they don’t have to live daily with the nuisance creatures, so their views should be disregarded. Animal rights activists generally have gone too far, and their extremist views are normalised. Humans should always take priority over animals, but that is an almost-heretical view now (at least, in nature-disconnected Western culture).

Monday 29/12: A mediocre macOS release year

Hot. Visited Mum at Camberwell Gables this morning. Noticeably fewer people on the trains – most are on holiday somewhere (lucky them!). Much quieter and pleasanter to travel on.

“Last Year on My Mac: Look back in disbelief,” Howard Oakley at his The Eclectic Light Company blog, 28/12. He is not impressed with OS Tahoe and its myriad usability issues and glitches. (His article is getting much commentary at Hacker News and Reddit.) A ChatGPT summary:

The article reflects on the writer’s disappointment with macOS Tahoe, particularly its interface changes. Here’s a breakdown of the main points:

  1. Excessive Rounding of Corners: The update to macOS Tahoe includes overly rounded corners in windows, which negatively impacts the presentation of rectangular content like images and text, often leading to cropping or wasted space.
  2. Inconsistent Controls: Despite making controls larger, Tahoe doesn’t improve their clarity or functionality, resulting in poorly sized buttons and overlapping controls that don’t enhance the user experience.
  3. App Icon Issues: The uniform design of app icons with rounded corners makes it harder to distinguish between apps, especially in the crowded Dock. Some icons have even become indistinguishable.
  4. Visual Clarity Problems: Tahoe’s Light Mode is excessively bright, and the Dark Mode is too dark, making it difficult to differentiate between controls and content. Transparency effects make certain elements hard to read and create a “whiteout” effect, which is disorienting.
  5. Transparency Effects and Accessibility: While transparency effects can be visually appealing in some contexts, they are problematic in macOS Tahoe. The effects are overwhelming in certain areas, and the “Reduce Transparency” option no longer works effectively, making it harder for users with visual impairments.

In summary, the writer feels that macOS Tahoe’s visual changes prioritize style over functionality, making the interface harder to use and less accessible. They long for the clarity and usability of older Apple interfaces.

Tuesday 30/12: Heat and floods; eSIM downsides

Hot again. Felt mildly headachy all night.

The wet season (with heat and humidity) has begun up north in the tropics, and Townsville, where my sister and her husband now live after moving there earlier this month (8/12, 9/12 entries), is affected as usual. There are severe weather warnings for north Queensland – a normal part of life for those living there. Queensland is the Australian equivalent of Florida, USA, in terms of climate and weather.

They have finished unpacking and are settling in, and adjusting to the climate (air conditioning is a must!). Their rental house is quite nice, with tiled floors, located in a quiet cul-de-sac.

“I switched to eSIM in 2025, and I am full of regret,” Ars Technica, 29/12. eSIMs are gradually replacing pSIM cards, but eSIMs have their own disadvantages – those are what made me switch back to a physical SIM card earlier this year (3/3 entry). Unfortunately phone manufacturers are moving towards the eSIM model. A ChatGPT summary (I am feeling lazy so these are useful!):

The author of this article regrets switching to eSIM in 2025 after experiencing several frustrating issues. eSIM (embedded SIM) was introduced to save space in smartphones, eliminating the need for physical SIM card slots. While it offers advantages, such as being programmable and allowing users to store multiple SIMs, the author points out several problems.

  1. Transition to eSIM: Physical SIM cards have evolved over time, from large credit card-sized ones to smaller nanoSIMs. eSIM, introduced in 2016, is a non-removable chip soldered into the phone, making it more space-efficient but prone to issues. Google adopted eSIM for its Pixel 10 series, forcing users to switch.
  2. Problems with eSIM: The author had a smooth experience with physical SIM cards but has encountered difficulties with eSIM, particularly when moving between phones. On two occasions, their phone number got ‘stuck’ during eSIM transfers. The first time, they managed to fix it with carrier support, but the second time, they were unable to authenticate because they couldn’t receive the verification SMS due to a broken eSIM.
  3. Inconvenience: The author emphasizes that losing access to your phone number with eSIM can lock you out of many essential services, like banking and messaging apps, which use phone numbers for authentication. In contrast, physical SIM cards rarely fail and are easy to swap out without dealing with customer support or visiting a store.
  4. eSIM Limitations: The article critiques the use of SMS for authentication, arguing that it’s insecure and that eSIM glitches could lead to more problems. While Google’s Fi service offers a more secure way to manage eSIMs, the author believes that relying on SMS for critical services like account access is outdated and problematic.
  5. Conclusion: While the move to eSIM is inevitable, the author feels that the benefits don’t outweigh the drawbacks, especially considering how small the battery improvement is in phones that adopt eSIM-only models. The experience suggests that eSIM may not be the best solution for everyone, especially when it causes inconvenience and access issues.

Wednesday 31/12: Long walking; Linda’s office; my annus horribilis

A cool wind change blew through yesterday afternoon, but only a couple of days’ reprieve from the heat. I walked to Southland SC and back this morning – about 8 km or so and 10,000+ steps – then to the library and back (about 1.6 km/2400 steps either way – the iOS Health App gives a basic summary of these), so I am feeling rather tired!

I also noticed that the psychologist whom I have had telehealth sessions with, Linda Stinton (12/12 entry), has an office on the corner of Karen Street and Nepean Highway, opposite Southland – her name is on the sign outside. This only just registered with me today!

Last day of 2025, and the year has truly been my annus horribilis – a year of great loss for me and my sister. My parents having to go into residential care in April (15/4 entry), then, worst of all – that most dreaded life event – Dad’s death on 4/10, with myself at his side. We will have to face the same loss with Mum in time.