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Suzy McHale’s Diary: 2002 – June-December

Events of note: I went to my first IMAX movie in June. Mum was diagnosed with Type-2 diabetes. I got my first-ever migraine headache after seeing a Melbourne International Film Festival movie in August – I would get them sporadically from then after. A new Colorbond front fence was installed at our house in August – and would be dented by vandals on several occasions.

June

Wednesday 5/6

More bad news concerning Buran. An update on the www.russianspaceweb.com site: “However, by the end of May, space officials and aerial photography had confirmed the worst – the historic hardware was all but completely destroyed. The entire high portion of the MIK-112 or even the entire building was expected to be demolished.” This, I think, was the orbiter named Buran which had made the one and only automated space flight of the Russian space shuttle program. It had been sitting in the building on top of an Energiya rocket for a decade or so. But I don’t think it would have flown again even if the program were revived – a book on the American space shuttle which featured a section on the Buran program stated that: “In 1990, the Russians announced that IK-1K Buran was retired after its 1988 test flight since it had been constructed in 1981 and would have reached the end of its 10-year service life before any possible second flight. Reportedly, the second orbiter (OK-2K) was readied for flight, but never launched.” This, presumably, was the orbiter named Baikal (after the deep lake). A third orbiter, Ptichka (“little bird”) was under construction when the program was canceled. So there are two orbiters (or one-and-a-half) in storage somewhere – they weren’t with Buran (as far as I know). I have no idea what condition they are in, if they are still intact.

According to another page at that website, last year’s report in New Scientist magazine that the Buran-Energiya program was to be revived resulted from “optimistic and mistranslated comments of a Russian guide” to the reporter.

And the exhibition of the Buran analogue in Sydney seems to have closed; a website reported that the company holding it had gone into administration (bankrupt, I think that means). There were photos of the orbiter sitting forlornly in a park, covered with a tarpaulin and some disrespectful sorts had scrawled graffiti on its lower surfaces. I don’t know what its fate will be. This was an atmospheric test model fitted with 2 turbojet engines used to simulate orbiter landings, like the Enterprise did for the American shuttle program. The Enterprise was launched from the back of a modified 747; the Russian analogue OK-ML2 took off under its own power. It made around 25 flights, but it could not go into space – the exhibition somewhat misleadingly said it had flown “into space” 25 times.

Worse and worse! Russia never made it to the moon, and its shuttle also was canceled despite one successful flight. Its manned program struggles for adequate funding, and it is a subsidiary partner to NASA. Its glory days seem to be well and truly over. Even China might supersede it – Chinese astronauts are training for a first flight set for some time next year.

I registered at the forum on the http://k26.com/buran/ site and have even worked up the courage to post a couple of entries concerning Energiya-Buran. I simply call myself “Suzy” and haven’t displayed my (Dad’s) e-mail address. All the others posting entries there seem to be guys! I don’t know how old they are.

The Space Shuttle is due to go up this week: STS-111 on Wednesday. It was delayed from last week due to bad weather and technical problems. The Expedition 4 crew have been up there since 7 December last year! They will be replaced on this mission by Expedition 5.

~ Ended 5:12 p.m.

Thursday 13/6

Mum and Dad are going away tomorrow for a week up to Kyneton to stay in a house that a lady from the Church has a time-share investment in. This is a country town on the highway leading to Castlemaine; we used to pass through here on family outings in the 1970s and early 1980s. They return next Friday. It will be a welcome break from each other.

I had a peculiar dream this morning, just before I awoke for the day. I was in the backyard with Michele; it was late afternoon. I can’t recall the next scene clearly, but she put on a pressure suit and somehow launched herself into orbit! I remained on the ground, looking up and seeing her as a bright point of light, like a satellite. There was another satellite or something which she was trying to catch up with; this was headed SE to NW. But she was on the wrong trajectory, and was heading W to E. I realized I would have to go up there and rescue her, but she was fading into the distance and I would have to wait 90 minutes for her to complete the orbit and come back overhead. I told this to Mum when I went inside. I needed a pressure suit too, and I had an orange NASA one, so I began to don this. I was planning how I was going to rescue her. Unfortunately I awoke before I got around to this! If only launching into orbit was as easy as jumping off the ground like Superman!

The IMAX Space Station 3D movie opens in the Melbourne IMAX theatre today. This is in the Carlton gardens, just north of the CBD square. You need to don 3D glasses to watch the movie. It is narrated by actor Tom Cruise. From what I’ve read of a review in today’s The Age, it looks good, but is rather over-earnest (much waffling on about the oh-so-important science programs, Mankind’s Destiny in Space, and so forth), “the tone is earnest and educational”. I guess they feel they have to justify the $100 billion or so that is being spent on the Station’s construction!

I have a movie in mind that I would love to film if I could ever go up into space, to the ISS. A movie perhaps without narration, but set to ethereal ambient and trance music, like that played at rave parties. The movie would be a transcendental experience. Ideally, I would go as part of a Soyuz crew; a space tourist, (the focus would be on the Russian space program rather than NASA) and I would be able to do one or two EVAs, using the SAFER jetpack to float a distance away from the ISS to shoot some scenes with a high-resolution digital camera. The movie’s title is Orbital Dream.

I love to listen to this music, and to combine this with the otherworldly images from orbit would be a mindblowing experience! Forget taking Ecstasy – this is the ultimate “high,” in both senses of the word!

If only I could make this real … it doesn’t seem to occur to NASA or the Russian Space Agency or anyone to shoot something like this. If only there were some way of telling someone about this idea so that it could be made to happen. I know these images would look wonderful – I can see them in my mind’s eye. I feel so frustrated because I have no way of getting up there.

The next space tourist to go up in October looks to be Lance Bass, a singer in an American pop band called N’Sync. He was declared medically fit to fly. He will be only 23 if and when he is launched! Makes me feel old. The band has made millions of dollars, so he can easily afford it. Perhaps he should shoot a music video while he is up there! I wonder if hordes of his screaming girl fans will invade the Baikonur launch site?!

~ Ended 2:58 p.m.

Monday 17/6

Mum and Dad left for Kyneton on Friday. They have rung me every night so far.

Today I went into the city as I decided I would see the IMAX Space Station 3-D movie after all. The Melbourne theatre is at the Melbourne Museum in Carlton Gardens, just north of the CBD – about 10 minutes’ walk from Melbourne Central Station where I usually alight. Tickets were $16, but I managed to get the concession $13 as I showed the ticket guy my Health Care Card. The audience had to wear clunky 3-D glasses; fortunately these fit over the prescription glasses I wear.

The 3-D effect was awesome! I felt like I was literally inside the picture. There were a couple of excellent scenes of Russian rocket launches and a Space Shuttle launch – literally earth-shaking as their bass rumble came through the speakers. I felt as apprehensive as though I were really going up (I wish!). Some EVA scenes, though only of American Shuttle astronauts in their EMU suits (no Russian Orlan EVAs). One shot showed part of the Station against the velvety blackness of space, and it was absolutely black; quite scary in a way (it was on Earth’s daylight side so no stars were visible) that I don’t experience with photos. The blackness of a 15-billion-light-year abyss.

Lots of scenes depicting smug-looking astronauts and cosmonauts going about various tasks, in a world most people will never experience. I was surprised by how cluttered, small and cramped the Station looked – it appears much roomier in the NASA photos. Perhaps it was an effect of the 3-D glasses or film? You wouldn’t want to suffer from claustrophobia. It looked more cluttered than Dad’s shed! The music was nice and Tom Cruise’s narration was quite good; not intrusive, though I rolled my eyes cynically at the blathering about all the scientific breakthoughs that will supposedly take place up there. Many scientists and others question the real value of this – NASA has been accused of over-hyping the Station’s supposed scientific value. It’s more of an excuse to maintain a human (i.e.: American-dominated) presence in orbit than anything else. I guess they have to justify the $100 billion or so that’s being spent!

The movie should really have been titled “NASA Space Station 3-D” as, being American-made, it invariably focused on NASA’s role, though the Russians did get a couple of scenes showing the Expediton One crew being launched at Baikonur. I was disappointed that they didn’t show the part where the three departing crew walk up to the general in charge and salute him, the commander saying something like, “My crew and I have been made ready, and now we are reporting that we are ready to fly,” and the general replies, “I give you permission to fly. I wish you a successful flight, and a gentle landing.” I read in a magazine article about them filming that bit, but it must have been cut.

This being an American film, there were, inevitably, some cringeworthily corny scenes – one showed Bill Shepard during a ham radio session chatting with sickeningly cute American school kids who asked him predictable questions like “How do you become an astronaut?” And another where Bill buys a labrador dog via e-mail from the Station as a Christmas present for his wife. Aw, shucks (gag). :-P

The movie was around 50 minutes long, so scenes were short – it didn’t seem long enough. All IMAX movies are around that length, so the technology must be expensive to produce (the cameras used to film are huge suitcase-sized contraptions). It’s certainly worth seeing – I wouldn’t mind seeing it again, perhaps with someone. I’ll recommend it to Michele and her kids, though I don’t know if they’ll be able to get to Melbourne from Rochester. There’s only one IMAX cinema in Melbourne, and another in Sydney.

~ Ended 6:18 p.m.

Saturday 22/6

Mum and Dad returned home from Kyneton yesterday.

Someone on the Buran-Energiya forum posted a link to a Russian site with photos of the roof collapse. Unfortunately the site was all in Russian, so I couldn’t read it! It was a forum also, with various readers posting their opinions – presumably of dismay. There were two photos: an aerial view of Building 112 with the roof caved in, and of the orbiter and boosters themselves, taken from underneath. It looked as if the worst fears are confirmed: the boosters were caved in and crumpled like tin cans, and the orbiter wasn’t visible from that angle. The boosters are fragile, anyhow – they are hollow shells – but the condition of Buran wasn’t visible as it must be somewhere in the crumpled mess. Very depressing.

Dad is going to try re-formatting my computer and install the second edition of Windows 98 – it was supposed to have this on it when he bought it, but had the first edition instead. He had to go back to Harvey Norman a couple of weeks ago and buy the CD-ROM with the 2nd edition on it, which is a bit of a rip-off. If it works, all my programs and files will have to be restored. A few annoying niggles and errors have crept onto the hard disk since Dad got it last year – I’ve downloaded programs from the Internet then uninstalled them, so all sorts of junk has accumulated. I know better now, but I didn’t then when I was beginning, so it will be nice to start with a (hopefully) clean disk.

I feel depressed and despondent. It’s nearly 8 months since I left That Awful Place. My savings are down to nearly $1000 and I have no inclination to look for work – it is too terrifying and demoralizing, and there is nothing for me but drudge jobs. My head is full of marvelous dreams, but I have no way of turning these in to reality as they would require much money (billions). If I am only to live a mundane, ordinary life, what is the point of it? I want something more.

~ Ended 3:55 p.m.

Wednesday 26/6

After much mucking about, I have my computer back. Dad formatted the hard drive on Monday morning but the Windows 98 SE disk kept indicating that it couldn’t find various files, so he had to take the hard drive back to Harvey Norman in Southland to get them to do it. Got it back yesterday afternoon, then all my various programs had to be re-installed. Tried to connect to the Internet today; the ISP kept disconnecting, so after more phone calls to Tenex a connection was finally re-established. A headache-inducing 3 days. A minor annoyance is that the “print preview” function seems to have vanished; I used this to see how printouts would look. (Note: I found it – it’s buried within the “Print Properties” box.)

Dad is also very unpleasant to do anything with, being so impatient and grouchy. He is a real Grumpy Old Man, and I only talk to him if I need to ask him something; otherwise I avoid him. I was barely restraining myself from exploding at him when doing the computer format as he kept snapping at me not to go so fast.

It was mentioned in today’s news that the Space Shuttle fleet has been grounded because of cracks discovered in the engine fuel lines of Columbia due to go up next on 19 July, and another orbiter. This mission is also to carry Israel’s first astronaut, Ilan Ramon. There are also extra security concerns because of this, given the current antagonism between Israel and Palestine – the Shuttle “is considered a high-value target opportunity that terrorists view as a ‘way to make a statement,’ according to NASA Administrator Sean O’Keefe.” The External Tank, filled with liquid oxygen and hydrogen, is highly volatile – all a terrorist would need to do is either fly a light aircraft into it in a suicide attack, or fire a bullet from a sniper’s rifle. Osama bin Laden has been reported as being alive and well, and plotting more attacks.

~ Ended 7:33 p.m.

Thursday 27/6

A cold day with gale-force north-west winds; only 9°C!

Mum had a blood test done and found out she has Type-2 diabetes, where insulin is produced but it isn’t absorbed. This can occur in older people who are overweight and unfit – Mum is certainly both. She will have to watch her diet and start doing some sort of exercise like walking. Both my parents are getting all these illnesses as they get older.

On the news tonight was the announcement that the RAAF will eventually purchase the Lockheed-Martin Joint Strike Fighter as part of a partnership with the multinational corporation. The Defence Department wants to purchase 100 of these advanced fighters at $80 million each – for a total of $12 billion! That’s about the current total of Australia’s entire defence budget! It seems like overspending on a huge scale – nothing like having taxpayers’ money to play with. A couple of European fighters on offer stood no chance. I wonder why they don’t consider Russian fighter jets like MiG-29s and Su-27s – I’d like to see that! The Su-27 or its latest variant, the Su-37, would be suitable for Australia’s conditions as it has great fuel range and is built to withstand harsh climates (like all Russian fighters).

It will tie Australia to the USA even further. The Prime Minister, Mr. Howard, visited President Bush in America a couple of weeks ago and sucked up to him in an embarrassingly servile manner – he got some criticism from some quarters at home for that. If I were PM I would rethink this partnership and perhaps ally closer with Asia and Europe (and Russia!). Australia really has little in common with the USA in cultural terms, even though we are inundated with American programs on TV. We should also close the U.S. bases here. I wonder why it seems accepted policy for America to have military bases established in other nations, yet for no other countries to have bases in the USA?

~ Ended 7:21 p.m.

Saturday 29/6

A few months ago I was looking through NASA Watch and came across this link to a website that mentioned an upcoming American TV series called Astronauts (imaginative title – not). The review was by someone called “Princess X”; I typed out her words as the web page did not save properly:

“Princess X gets telemetry on ABC’s Astronauts!!”

From Ain’t It Cool News.com, Saturday 23 March, 2002

The Princess calls this pilot script Apollo 13 meets The West Wing. But does she mean Space Cowboys meets Glory Days? I get little sense of whether or not she like it; see if you can sort it out:

Astronauts – 20th Century Fox/ABC

Astronauts is a new pilot from 20th Century Fox Television and ABC. If the premise “A young astronaut heads a team being sent up to space to rescue the crew of a damaged space ship” sounds like the start of a move, you’re right. Except it’s a TV show we’re talking about. Penned by Todd Robinson (White Squall), produced by Industry Entertainment, Ian Sanders and Kim Moses, Astronauts is the quick alternative when you don’t have time to watch Apollo 13 and your Top Gun DVD has bit the dust.

The Cold War is over, the Russians and Americans have decided to play nice and share their space programs. Collectively, they have three astronauts manning the International Space Station: Commander Frank Masse, Specialist Mike Baldwin and cosmonaut Vladimir Tyurzin. Everything’s hunky-dory until BOOM! Wouldn’t you know it; the Russian Propulsion Module that’s supposed to dock with the space station collides into it instead. In the face of life-threatening danger and under Frank’s orders, Tyurzin high-tails it to the escape capsule. The collision renders them rudderless, but it’s not Frank Masse’s style to abandon ship even if it means freezing to death in space. You can bet if this is a pissing contest, Baldwin isn’t going to bail, either.

On the ground, Frank’s little brother Brent watches the mishap from Russian Mission Control. Brent is the hero du jour. In keeping with the 21st century anti-hero standard, Brent is far from squeaky-clean. He’s got skeletons in his closet and, naturally, they cause him to think everything is about him. Spooked during some combat in the Balkan conflict, Brent is the only Air Force pilot in U.S. history to ever, ever bail from a Stealth fighter. Somehow, this makes him a hero, to the magnitude that he’s been plastered on every magazine cover (sharing cover space with Michael Jordan and Bill Clinton, no less), including a stint as “Sexiest Man Alive”.

With Frank’s life hanging in the stars, you better believe Brent’s going to do everything he can to save his big bro’. But it’s not that easy. Brent’s been on ice in Siberia for the past couple of years, and things have changed back in Houston. Thanks to scorning his then-girlfriend Leslie Forsythe, another astronaut and Director of Security for the ISS, the truth about Brent’s so-called hero status was revealed to Sam Wilson (Brent ejected out of the Stealth and wasn’t shot down). Wilson, who always suspected Brent’s cowardice and had googly eyes for Forsythe anyway, pulled a few strings and sent Brent packing to Russia. We’ve also got Gig Scott, a Reuter’s reporter, who just happens to be in Russia with Brent as all this is going down, who just happens to be in the Control Room taking pot shots at him (apparently Gig is pretty skeptical over Brent’s hero status), and who just happens to follow Brent all the way back to the States where Brent saddles up to bring his brother home.

They’re not alone in their disregard for Brent. None of the crew of the rescue mission cares much for Brent’s swagger, either. They’re no-nonsense astronauts, training day in and day out, apparently immune to People magazine articles. Family man Col. Tyler Davis, Capt. Christine Canton, Capt. Dale “Hollywood” Spade, and Pilot Alex Ward all make it clear: Brent’s never gonna be one of them. Full stop.

So, cue the Top Gun theme music; Brent has to prove himself. You’ve seen Top Gun no doubt, so you know cockiness comes before a fall. This means screwing up a simple flight simulator exercise which in real life would have meant killing everyone; Hollywood challenges Brent to a game of chicken on their motorcycles using the air force tarmac, and both lose when the MPs nail Hollywood while Brent bails before they can catch him; Brent makes a huge pass at Forsythe, never mind the huge rock on her left hand courtesy of Wilson, because when you’re Brent, doesn’t every woman want you regardless of your past? Brent gets to eat his heart out when Wilson saves Frank with a fancy maneuver that positions the space station towards the sun and some heat (and buys time which Brent thanks Wilson for, as if Wilson did it as a favor to Brent); and Brent nearly drowns in a routine underwater exercise when his suit mysteriously blows up; luckily, Ward (even though we know he’ll never go into space) is a big enough man to save Brent’s life ’cause that’s what heroes do. Brent will figure it out eventually, but for now there’s no time for winning friends when you’ve got something to prove.

Meanwhile, big bro Frank and Baldwin are freezing to death in the busted space station. While a rescue mission is intense business, you know … people have to be trained (read: Brent has to earn his stripes to replace the sadly not-quite-good-enough Ward); another shuttle mission was already booked to go up and do some exploratory work. No wonder days after the space station collision there’s angst among the politicians who are having the real pissing contest.

Senator Clint Garner, head of the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, doesn’t want the money-sucking ISS program to succeed. If he had his druthers, NASA would be used for one thing, and one thing only – the missile defence program (I’m betting he’s a NRA Republican, too). He butts horns with Richard Brack, Director of Flight Crew Operations who’s wily and determined that his program will survive even if that means exploiting Brent’s hero status. (I knew it was Brack who leaked the headline “Right Hero for the Right Time”.)

Brent’s not going to save anyone until he can get his head out his arse. That means, after his testosterone has leveled out, he’s doing the sombre I’ve-got-a-past-that-haunts-me routine. Gig confronts Brent about what happened in the Balkans, how a volunteer paratrooper died rescuing Brent and how Brent blames himself for his death (oh boy). Brent sends money to the guy’s widow and kid (he’s not stalking, he’s just looking out for them in a very silent, non-stalker way).

Brent doesn’t get over his “universe revolves around me” attitude until he discovers Davis’s wife, Lisa, who normally looks perky, is hiding a big secret (shhh). She’s got cancer and wears a wig. If anyone knew about it, Davis would be grounded from space for life (never mind that Brent walks in off the street to find Lisa in her living room hooked up to all sorts of tubes). Lisa is a trooper, for her kids’ sake, her husband’s sake, but most of all because she wants to live. She gets it through Brent’s thick skull that the paratrooper who perished died because he wanted Brent to live (okay, now I understand why Brent has an ego). If that’s not enough, the paratrooper’s widow sends a message through Gig that she too knows her husband died doing what he loved best – saving people (this must be why Gig stalks Brent, to act as his conscience).

Whew. Brent gets it, he’s not out to save his brother because he wants to be the youngest astronaut in space, or jump the line of surly and better-trained veterans. He wants to live and he wants his brother to live, too. In a final training exercise where Ward pilots a flight that nearly kills the crew of the rescue mission, Brent takes over and saves the day. He proves that he can cut it under pressure. What’s more is that he give the credit to Ward, and earns his stripes with the others.

If you’re wondering how Brent saves his brother and what happens when the crew are in space (can they contain their simmering tempers? Is Hollywood going to make a pass at Canton so he can be the first man in the Thousand-Mile-High-Club? Freed from his guilt over the volunteer paratrooper, will Brent try to eject from the Shuttle in the escape capsule? Will he and Forsythe get back together? And what’s happened to Tyurzin, anyway? I smell something fishy …), you’ll have to keep watching the series. At first it irked me that this story wasn’t over and not by a long shot, now I’m starting to think it’s either a really bad or really ingenious tactic to make one rescue mission a multiple-episode ordeal.

Astronauts will be directed by Robert Harmon, and will star Jeffrey Pierce (Brent Masse) and Yvette Nipar (Forsythe), Chris Potter, Bobby Hosea and Jonathon Banks, so far. There was some initial drama over whether Twentieth would stay involved because of budgetary concerns, but for this pilot they’re still in. The pilot is coming in at about $3.5 million, and what doesn’t go to the Executive Producers will be all onscreen (let’s hope that’s still a few million). Will Apollo 13 meets The West Wing work as a weekly series? We’ll take another look when the tape comes in …

– Princess X

So that is a summary of the pilot episode. Typically silly, parochial heroic-Americans-saving-the-world (or, in this case, the ISS) nonsense. Do they actually pay people to make this crap up? I’ll take that job!! The series also appears to make the Russians look like incompetent, craven cowards – the Russian cosmonaut mentioned abandons the ISS and his crewmates – something I’m sure no one there would do in reality.

There was another series called The Cape, screened here on Saturday afternoons for a few weeks in 2000. This was about a group of NASA astronauts getting involved in various adventures; one of the major characters was played by Corbin Bernsen (of LA Law). It was quite good, as such things go, and some scenes were filmed on location at NASA facilities, so it obviously met with the “Space Mafia’s” approval.

I actually managed to more-or-less finish a short story (I’m still “tweaking” parts of it), one of several I have stored in my head, about my mischievous cosmonaut characters Yurii and Sergei, and their hapless American Expedition Crew commander, Joe. It’s called “Houston, We Have A Corpse,” and in it the crew and the Soyuz taxi crew who are visiting wake up one morning to find their guest space tourist, Mr. Hadden (yes, I did get that surname from Contact) dead in his sleeping bag! He has died of old age – no mystery there – but the crew then have to perform an autopsy at Houston Mission Control’s request, then Yurii and Sergei get to do an EVA and the first-ever space burial! It’s got some irreverant humor in it, and plenty of squeamishly-detailed descriptions of the autopsy. I’m not sure if I got all the details right – there is still much I don’t know about the ISS, frustratingly. But parts of it made me laugh out loud when writing it – I’m writing the sort of stuff I want to read, not for anyone else. It isn’t great literature, but I don’t think it’s much worse than some of the crap which manages to get published! I wish I could show it to someone, but my parents wouldn’t “get it,” and I know of no one else who would be interested.

I vaguely recall writing a story during a school exam, and I put some gory details about someone’s head being blown off, or something like that. When I got the story back, the examiner had written on it a chiding message about it being too violent. I can’t recall this clearly, or what the story was, unfortunately. But I have a predilection for that sort of thing! I just love grossing people out. I’ve still got a pen drawing I did when I was 11 or 12 of two stallions fighting and falling over a cliff, showing them getting smashed and impaled on the rocks below, as well as a few sketches of horses with horrible wounds. I suppose it symbolizes something-or-other! It’s just the way I am.

~ Ended 2:49 p.m.

July

Saturday 20/7

Got a good view of the Space Station a few minutes ago, traveling from SW to ENE at 43º, 5:54 p.m. It flared brightly for a couple of seconds when arcing upward – sunlight must have reflected along its 52 m-length as the flare was a brilliant white. It passed just below the nearly-full Moon, which was bright, its craters and seas clearly visible – Expedition 5 on the ISS would have got a wonderful view from up there if they were looking out the windows. Jupiter is also bright in the NW.

The Space Shuttles are still grounded – might be a couple more months yet until the cracks in the engine fuel pipes can be fixed – so the next mission, STS-107, is still on hold; the crew must be feeling frustrated as they were meant to go up a couple of weeks ago! I can’t feel much sympathy; at least it isn’t only the Russians having setbacks.

I tried e-mailing a couple of questions separately to the “Ask the ISS crew” page on the NASA website (I’ve many more I’d like to ask!). I’m not holding out much hope that they will be sent up to them and answered:

They are fairly innocuous, not dissimilar to what others ask. I’ll have to wait and see.

It’s Michele’s 30th birthday in a couple of weeks – scary thought! We are all getting old. Mum and Dad will drive up there as usual. I hope she is not going to have any more children – four are too many, already. There has been much attention over the last few months given to falling fertility rates amongst women, and the impact this will have on the immediate future – i.e. lots of old people and fewer younger people in the workforce to provide taxes for pensions, social security, etc. Mr. Howard has a 1950s mentality in that he believes that women should be encouraged to breed and be stay-at-home mothers instead of going to work. I find myself irritated with the whole debate. I though feminism was about women being defined by more than their fertility – “My womb is not my destiny” was a popular slogan in the 1960s – and I find objectionable these hoary old injunctions being raised again; the “Populate or perish” mentality.

If there is one thing I hate about being female, it’s my reproductive status – being defined by whether or not I have children. It is so limiting and entrapping. I have never found fulfilling the prospect of having children; it is not for me. I want something else, something more, something for me. When a woman has children, she has to subvert her own needs and desires for theirs; she also loses her identity and becomes “the mother of ….” and (if married) “the wife of ….”. But who is she? If she has had an occupation and career before, she has some identity. But Michele has never had that – she has never worked and thus has no identity outside of wife and mother; worse, a minister’s wife, with all the dreadful old-fashioned meek servility that implies. (The “populate or perish” mob would certainly be pleased with Michele’s reproductive rate.)

Mum was a stay-at-home mother for a few years after we were born, but she went back to work part-time; she also had a career before we came along. But Michele and I have never had careers of any description; no fulfilling jobs. In that we have both failed and disappointed. Michele would protest otherwise and say that she is fulfilled in her role – she would not admit otherwise – but I wonder.

On the topic of getting old, I have noticed wrinkles appearing the last year or so – between my eyebrows and around my eyes. My skin is a mess; sun-damaged and acne-scarred (and I still get acne). The creases between my eyes appear after I lie down and only fade slowly. In a few years they will be permanent; the lines around my eyes will deepen and more will appear around my mouth, etc. I have also put on some weight; mainly from comfort eating. If I can ever afford cosmetic surgery I won’t hesitate to resort to it.

My finances continue to diminish; when I next withdraw money I will go below $1000. I don’t know what I am going to do. I just can’t face the degrading prospect of going on the dole and enduring the government’s punitive policies towards the unemployed. I’ll state it plainly: I don’t want to work in the sorts of lowly jobs that seem to be my only prospects. I have wasted 12 years of my life in such work, and I can’t endure it any more. It is hardly worth the bother of perpetuating my existence if my future is to consist of such jobs. I can’t face confronting another lot of hostile strangers and working for others and doing things of no relevance to my interests, all for a pittance. I don’t care how many others have to do this, I don’t want to endure it.

If I wrote a letter to a newspaper expressing those views about work, I can just imagine the vilification I would get. “Dole-bludger” (though I am not on the dole) would be among the kinder insults. There is still this Puritan ethic in society that work is good for one’s character. Well, 12 years in the job I did, did nothing for my character. I endured much misery and humiliation – more than I care to contemplate. I only wish to blot it from my memory; if only I could erase it from my work history – tax records and so forth. It was never a part of my identity and I wish to forget it.

~ Ended 6:56 p.m.

Monday 22/7

Went into the city briefly today. I was looking through a book in the Technical Bookshop, one written by a Russian about the U.S.-Russian ISS program [I later bought this book, reduced price, on sale.. One of the things that the author was saying is the objections many in Russia have to the co-operation – mainly that:

  1. The Americans are getting their hands on Russian expertise and technology for bargain basement prices;
  2. The Russians are junior partners in the ISS program and the “partnership” is a conspiracy to subvert the Russian space program to the U.S. one, and
  3. The Russian ISS involvement is taking much-needed funds away from other programs in their space industry.

I would tend to agree with these views as America, being the dominant world power, will tolerate no rivals and will ruthlessly do anything to maintain its supremacy. They are no different to any other empires preceding them in history, despite their blatherings about promoting “democracy and freedom”. As I’ve said, NASA wants to – and does – dominate space like America dominates the Earth. I really hope this dominance will be challenged – it’s bad for the space industry.

~ Ended 5:15 p.m.

Saturday 27/7

Sent off another question, this time to “Ask Mission Control Centre”: “What are the salary rates for astronauts and cosmonauts?” I am curious to know, and it’s more background info for my stories – but, again, I will be lucky if they bother to answer it (that’s if they even read it).

Speaking of which, I finished another yesterday – “The Launch of Expedition Clueless,” which details the Space Shuttle countdown my misfit Expedition Crew sit through. Of course, I will continue “tweaking” it – I have changed several minor details already with my previous story, “Houston, We Have a Corpse”. I rather wish I could show the stories to someone, but there is no one.

Michele’s 30th birthday on Thursday 1 August. She is coming here on Monday with kids in tow, which I am not looking forward to – they are worse than animals in that they mess up the place and are noisy and chaotic.

~ Ended 6:21 p.m.

August

Thursday 1/8

Michele is now a “thirtysomething,” like me. I gave her a card and $20 for her birthday. She and family visited on Monday and I got a few minutes to talk to her. Mum and Dad drove up to Rochester for the night to see them, so I am home alone.

There was a dreadful crash at a military base air show in Lviv, Ukraine last Saturday, where a Sukhoi-27 diving during a difficult maneuver had some sort of engine failure and ploughed into the ground – and into the crowd which was too close to the display area. The resultant carnage saw 83 people confirmed dead and many more injured – the worst air show tragedy so far. The two pilots ejected to safety. The Ukrainian president reacted by banning airshows and firing various officials, no doubt to look like he was doing something. When you have people and fast jets in close proximity, things are bound to go wrong sooner or later. There was also a crash of a jet liner at Moscow the following day, which killed all but two women of the 16 crew. And closer to home, at Moorabbin Airport two light aircraft collided. The teenage girl pilot of one – a much-liked Qantas cadet with a bright future – was killed; the two in the other aircraft walked away. Such is the unpredictability of life – death can come f or you at any time. Airplane crashes get a lot of media attention, but I would still rather fly than drive – hundreds are killed on the roads every year, several every week.

(Thinking about that teenage cadet, I wonder why popular and likeable people such as her, with a future to look forward to, have their lives cut brutally short, while my useless existence continues. More evidence that there are no gods.)

Riding my bicycle on the roads can be harrowing – competing with homicidal drivers of various vehicles. Every time I go out I see so much bad and aggressive driving. I like cycling – going down to the beach and cycling along the bicycle track there. I don’t like cycling in traffic – it is like playing Russian roulette, and is very stressful. Sooner or later I will have some sort of mishap. But it’s either take that risk or never go out at all.

My bicycle, incidentally, is getting old – the mountain bike I bought back in 1991 or thereabouts. I tend to neglect it, being lazy, and it is rusty with chipped paint, and the gears are wearing out. I would like a new bike, but of course I can’t afford it at the moment.

Nothing on TV tonight, so there’s nothing to look forward to. Almost no science fiction series, aside from Enterprise late at night. It is abysmal. There is so much crap on TV – reality TV shows, lifestyle shows, and police, law and hospital dramas. Boring and mundane.

I looked up “Soviet science fiction” on the Internet and came up with a couple of sites. One covers Soviet literature in general – www.sovlit.com – and the other is specifically science fiction – www.sf.perm.ru/eng. I’ve been hunting for information on their sci-fi books and movies as background for my stories, and out of interest – what were their equivalents of the shows I watched when young? Ones like Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica, and Star Trek; and books from the authors of that era. Dad used to have several lying around in the 1970s, which I glanced through; one I particularly recall is a series by Jack Vance, about an astronaut stranded on an alien planet who encounters various races who live there. One was a weird-looking species called the “Pnume”; one of the novels had an illustration of this creature and I remember trying to draw it. I did read the books, or sections of them, and I’ve still vague memories of scenes from them. Dad hasn’t read sci-fi for a couple of decades; about all he reads now are dreary religious tracts by grumpy old 19th-century preachers, and World War II non-fiction books.

There is one 1968 movie called The Andromeda Nebula: the Prisoners of the Iron Star, based on a novel by Ivan Yefrmov. It’s not described on the site, but is mentioned in another novel called Omon Ra by Viktor Pelevin – that novel I will go into another time.

“Just imagine it – an iron star … And on this planet black as night – a Soviet star ship, with a swimming pool, in the middle of a circle of blue light, and when the light ends – a hostile life form that fears the light and has to stay hidden in the darkness. Some kind of medusas or other – I didn’t really understand what they were – and there’s this black cross – I think that’s a hint at the Church and the priests. This black cross creeps through the darkness, and the people are working where the blue light is, mining anameson. And then the black cross zaps them with some weird energy! It aimed for Erg Noor, but Niza Krit shielded him with her breast. Afterwards our guys took their revenge – a nuclear strike out to the horizon. They saved Niza Krit and they caught the boss medusas and packed them off to Moscow.”

It sounds a bit spooky! I would love to see it – or read the novel – but of course there is nothing available here that I know of. Conventional video stores and bookshops are useless, and I doubt even specialist shops – like the Minotaur shop in the city – would have anything; it’s too obscure. I doubt the novel would have been translated here, anyway. It is frustrating – I seem to have the most obscure interests, and can never find anything about them.

Most other movies are in the same vein, and contain the usual Communist propaganda – a reversal of American sci-fi movies made at that time. Nearly all sci-fi in the Western world is American, and it gets really tedious to read and see nothing but Americans populating the Universe. (May the gods forbid that ever coming true!) I just want something different.

The kind of sci-fi movies I like can be described as “anything with spaceships.” Anything that involves wandering about the Universe. I’m not interested in other aspects of that genre. The movies I currently have on video are: Event Horizon, Mission to Mars, Contact, Apollo 13, Armageddon and Supernova. All involve space in some form or another. (I don’t have a DVD player – though Dad has – so I’m still restricted to videos, which are cheaper, anyway, as they are being phased out – but I hope they keep going for a while yet.)

~ Ended 7:25 p.m.

Friday 2/8

Mum and Dad arrived home today. There was a thunderstorm last night around 10 p.m., and the power blacked out for a few seconds, which was rather scary! The power then came back on.

Decided to see a short movie that was screening as part of the Melbourne International Film Festival. The movie was screened before a longer one which I wasn’t much interested in watching, but I had to sit through it. The theatre seats were agonizingly uncomfortable – I think they were first used during the Inquisition! I left around 12:00 lunch time, and didn’t get back until 6 p.m., so I am rather tired.

The movie I wanted to see was called – no surprises as to why I was interested – Cosmonaut:

51st Melbourne International Film Festival 2002

Title
The Cosmonaut
Director
Stefan Kaldbakken
Synopsis
When the Iron Curtain suddenly lifts, a Russian cosmonaut is left in orbit, forgotten by a world that no longer needs him. The Cosmonaut is a poetic story about the fragility of good fortune and the capricious nature of circumstance. (15 mins)
Date
2/8/2002
Time
3.00pm
Venue
Village

From www.astronautix.com, Fedrov topic index:

Igor Fedrov. Date of Death: 25 December 1991. Cause of Death: Forced to attempt manual return to earth in December 1991 when left stranded in space by fall of the Soviet Union. Group: Phantom Cosmonaut. A 1998 American urban legend held that during the fall of Soviet Union, one of her cosmonauts was stranded on the Mir space station. The basis of the story can be found in the fact that the Soyuz ferry spacecraft had a nominal on-orbit storage life of 180 days. After the fall of the Soviet Union, due to financial, technical, and supply-chain problems, launches of replacement crews to the station became rather irregular. Several times this led to the Soyuz docked to the station being in orbit over its six-month rated life. Every time this happened “experts” would be trundled out on the television news to declare that the crew was “stranded”. This first happened on the Soyuz TM-15 flight of 1992. The legend became the basis for the outstanding Norwegian short film Kosmonaut, directed by Stefan Faldbakken. The film created a sensation at the 2001 Venice Film Festival and told with considerable technical accuracy the story of fictional cosmonaut Igor Fedrov. Fedrov, on a long duration mission aboard a Soyuz spacecraft, is unable to reach ground control in the chaotic period after Gorbachev was overthrown in 1991. Stranded in his Soyuz capsule, unable to receive instructions or updates for his guidance system, his life support supplies dwindling, he finally attempts a manually-guided return to Earth and dies in the attempt.

The movie was quite good and realistic-looking, with some nice shots of the Soyuz orbiting Earth. I wish it had been the feature movie! The main movie was called Tape (86 minutes long), which was okay if you like that sort of thing – the actors were good and there was some humor, but I’m just not into that sort of movie. The audience was made up of student-types and older movie buff sorts – I doubt any were into space stuff, and probably wouldn’t know one end of a rocket from the other. The cosmonaut in the movie had spent nearly a year alone in the cramped Soyuz – I though that I wouldn’t mind doing that, if only to put a safe distance between myself and the rest of the human race! I hate the city because of the teeming hordes of people; I get very stressed-out in crowds after a while. I would have preferred to see Cosmonaut by myself, or with people who would appreciate it.

I spotted the Dr. Who episode “The Pyramids of Mars” on video in the Minotaur bookshop, but as it was over $40 I wasn’t tempted to buy it! The items in that shop are expensive as they are imported, most from the USA and England. No movies I could see like the ones I was describing in my last entry.

~ Ended 7:13 p.m.

Monday 5/8

I woke up on Saturday morning and felt ill – I vomited a couple of times! As there was nothing in my stomach, little came up. I had a headache and felt off-color. I don’t know what it was, as I did not eat anything outside of my normal food the day before – I didn’t have anything while in the city. There were a lot of people in the cinema, so perhaps I caught some sort of stomach bug there. I felt better after lunchtime, and have been so since. I’ve not thrown up for a long time – it isn’t pleasant!

I’m still going cycling down to the Beach Road bicycle track once or twice a week, but getting there on the roads is very stressful due to heavy traffic and homicidal drivers. I feel quite homicidal myself at times towards the idiots masquerading as drivers, and wish for a bike-mounted rocket launcher so I could blast offenders into their component atoms! Teach them some respect. I wish I could do the same to the vandals in the neighborhood who damage properties during their night street wanderings. They should be shot on sight like the vermin they are – and I really do mean that! The police seem to do little.

The next Space Shuttle mission, STS-112, is not due to launch until September 28 or thereabouts, depending upon how the fuel pipe crack repairs go. It is an obvious setback for the ISS construction program; it will delay it further. Looking at a copy of the original schedule, Expedition One were due to go up in 1999, and by now – August 2002 – STS-120 should have been going up on Flight 14A with the Cupola and Russian Science Power Platform Arrays, while Russia should have launched Research Module 1! Instead, only UF-2 was completed on the last mission – 5 June, 2002, on STS-111 – where the Mobile Base System was installed. The Russian and American space programs were first merged in 1993, and things have been plodding along ever since, beset by delays and funding cuts. The ISS program initially began with much enthusiasm, but all the delays have seen the various partners’ governments lose enthusiasm, and the public become bored with the whole debacle.

Wish I had someone to chat about these topics with, but no one around here is interested.

What might make everyone happy – if everyone had enough money – would be to split the ISS into two; undock the Russian segment from the U.S. one and have two independent Stations. James Oberg writes about this in his latest book, Star-Crossed Orbits:

The possibility of a breakup of the grand space alliance and a physical dissolution of the ISS may come as a shock to many observers whose enthusiasm was buoyed by the belated but undeniable success of the initial Station assembly. But the Zvezda service module, the Docking Compartment, and even the Zarya FGB are not really contributions to the project, they are merely loans – permanent loans, it is hoped, or at least long-term loans, but always subject to foreclosure and repossession. The Russians will always have the option to recall them from the joint project and operate them on their own, in a separate orbit.

Even during the wide-scale Russian anguish over the termination of Mir in early 2001, when politicians, ex-cosmonauts, and space experts loudly lamented the loss of an independent Russian manned space program, nobody pointed out that there really was a successor to Mir. “Mir-2” was already in space, hooked up to the ISS. It remains the property of the Russian government, however, and it remains fully capable of independent flight.

Unhooking Mir-2 would not be difficult. Space-walking cosmonauts would have to detach a number of external cables. Then the hooks and latches that keep the two sections locked flush together would have to be commanded to open. After that, the physical separation would be complete. The two spacecraft would then drift apart, and the renamed Mir-2 could fire its thrusters to enter a new orbit at a different altitude from that of the rump ISS. Whether ISS could survive such an amputation is problematical.

On my World Spaceflight News CD-ROM “2001 – the International Space Station Odyssey Begins,” there is a document called “United States Control Module Guidance, Navigation and Control Subsystem Design Concept” (6A-07), dated March 1997. The first paragraph reads, “Should the Russian Space Agency fail to participate in the International Space Station program, then the United States NASA may choose to execute the entire ISS mission. In order to do this, NASA must build two new space vehicles: the U.S. control module (USCM) and the U.S. resupply module (USRM). These space vehicles must perform the functions that the Russian vehicles and hardware were to perform.” It then goes on to describe how the U.S. modules would be launched via Titan and Atlas rockets. The USRM would separate from the ISS when its propellant was nearly depleted, to be replaced by a new one every few years over the 15-year life of the ISS. The document briefly describes and illustrates the proposed modules.

This is, in fact, an attractive idea – why not have two independent stations, one Russian, one American? That way there is no bickering about who is in control. The two space programs could still co-operate to some extent, and the European and Japanese partners could send up modules and space crew to one or both Stations. Russia could sent up all the space tourists it liked to its Mir-2, and NASA could operate its own Station – which, I guess, could be called Freedom – in the way it wanted. The perfect solution! Two Stations are better than one! Unfortunately, both partners are lacking in adequate funding, so it isn’t likely to happen.

~ Ended 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday 7/8

Mum thinks that my sickness on Saturday morning might have been a migraine! It would explain the headache I had all night, and the vomiting. Mum has had them occasionally. Perhaps being in the city for 6 hours with no food and in a stressful situation (in crowds of people) triggered it off. I’ve not had one before, though, that I can remember.

Dad bought The Lord of the Rings on DVD, so I’ll watch that sometime. It’s the first part of the trilogy. Part 2 comes out at the end of this year; Part 3 at the end of next year.

Had to get money out of the bank today, so my savings are down to $841.28. Things are getting desperate – I don’t know what I am going to do. The government is very punitive towards the unemployed now, and I dread having to go to Centerlink.

I had an odd dream about what I was writing last entry on 5/8. I was onboard the ISS with some other people, and I closed the hatches between the U.S. and Russian segments, then commanded them to separate! I explained to the others that this was on the orders of those sponsoring my trip up there; that the international partnership was over as it wasn’t working. My sponsors had bought the Russian segment. Three people departed in a Soyuz, leaving 6 on board. Another Soyuz was being launched to bring them down. I then awoke around 12 a.m.

~ Ended 4:12 p.m.

Friday 9/8

Found another news article to infuriate me on NASA Watch today:

Russia rules space and we don’t care

Kennedy Space Center, Fla. – Thirty-three years ago this month we won the space race when Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon. July 20, 1969.

The free world rejoiced with the USA. We beat the USSR, modern Russia’s mother country and then the leader of the Communist world.

That was then. This is now. The difference:

As a result, one astronaut and two cosmonauts on the International Space Station have only Russian spaceships to rely on for supplies or a possible emergency trip back to Earth. In short, Russia now rules in space.

What happened? Space exploration lost its “sex appeal” for our politicians. There no longer is a bad guy to beat up there. So Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein make better emotional targets.

The Bush administration’s lack of care about the space program was emphasized this week. Vice President Dick Cheney landed here amid secrecy aboard Air Force Two. Thousands of space workers were high with hope he would spotlight the importance of getting back into the space business. Instead, Cheney spent all day nearby at sea aboard the USS Wyoming, a nuclear submarine named after his home state. Not a nod nor a word about our crippled space program.

What a difference from the days of John F. Kennedy. He understood that the nation which is № 1 in space ultimately will be № 1 on Earth.

Copyright © 2002 USA TODAY, a division of Gannett Co. Inc.

It’s this sort of arrogant assumption that America should be supreme which angers other countries and ultimately leads to events like September 11. “Russia rules in space”? Bully for them. NASA needs taking down a peg or two. It is the Microsoft of the space industry, smothering and devouring all before it like some enormous amoeba. Private space corporations enter into “partnerships” with NASA at their peril – they will get taken over, their technological initiatives subverted to NASA. America seems to believe it has a mandate to be the #1 nation. Bugger that philosophy!

Lance Bass’s space tourist trip is in some doubt because his sponsors haven’t paid up and the deadline has passed. Apparently the previous two space tourists didn’t pay the full $20 million but somewhat less.

A novel I mentioned in my 1/8/2002 entry was Omon Ra by Viktor Pelevin. I managed to get hold of this in the Borders bookstore at Chadstone – the only store that was able to order it in as it is very obscure here (mainstream bookstores are useless for this sort of thing). It was written in 1992, in Russian, and translated here later. (Plot spoiler follows.) The protagonist is a boy called Omon Ra (Omon is his first name, Ra is a code name he used for his space mission, taken from the Egyptian god). He dreams of going into space as a young boy – I’m not sure what era it begins in, perhaps the late 1960s. He is accepted into a training program only to find that the reality is very different to what he has read about. The whole Soviet program is a facade; in reality its technology is backwards, far behind the USA’s, and instead of automated rockets, it uses the trainees to manually separate each stage after launch, resulting in their deaths! This is cloaked in much talk about sacrifice and heroism. Omon Ra begins training for a Moon mission – he drives the Luna rover (which resembles a bathtub on 8 wheels) that the rest of the world thinks is automated – he moves it by pedaling a modified bicycle inside! He completes his training and is launched with the other boys on his team (they will manually release each rocket stage and die). He reaches the Moon – or so he thinks. He drives the rover out and in a straight line for several days, with only a blurry view through a periscope to look at. He then gets out to place a flag and radio beacon on the surface. He doesn’t have a space suit (the space program can’t even manufacture these) – just thick clothing, goggles and an oxygen mask to breathe in a vacuum! He is supposed to shoot himself once his task is done, but his gun misfires and he faints. He awakes to find himself breathing – he is, in fact, in an underground railway tunnel. He escapes death at the hands of another trainee who is supposed to shoot him in case he doesn’t himself, runs for his life and comes upon a chamber where a Salyut spacecraft is rigged up and 2 cosmonauts have been living inside there for 7 years, pretending they are in orbit. They come out and chase him too, then he finds his way to the surface and ends up in the Moscow metro! And there it ends.

The novel’s premise is similar to those faked Moon landing conspiracy theories that are still in circulation – there was a program on TV outlining these a few weeks ago. That the whole Soviet program was a false dream, and the 1990s saw young people of Pelevin’s generation (he was born in 1962) become disillusioned with the dream (as I mentioned in my 29/3/2002 entry). Here is some more information about him (from 8 years ago now):

The visit of Russian author Victor Pelevin to the University of Bristol by Sarah Hudspith

On 13 December 1994, the young Russian writer Victor Pelevin came to speak to staff and students at Bristol University’s Russian department. At 32, Pelevin is at the forefront of a new generation of Russian writers emerging in response to the ever-changing conditions of life in the former Soviet Union. After glasnost, a new literary era opened, presenting fresh opportunities for the emergence of a younger generation of Russian writers. For a while, however, only writers of the older generation were productive and as audiences took advantage of the growing availability of Western popular fiction, fears grew that a literary recession had set in. Pelevin, along with contemporaries like Alexei Slapovsky and Nina Sadur, show that this situation is beginning to change. In 1993 Pelevin was awarded the newly-established Russian “Little Booker” Prize for his collection of short stories, “The Blue Lantern,” and has been hailed as “one of the most exciting of Russia’s young writers” (The Daily Telegraph).

After reading a short extract from his latest book, Omon Ra, which has just been published in English translation, Pelevin answered questions from the Russian department staff and students. He named his literary heroes as Chekhov, Bulgakov and Platonov, and expressed a dislike for many modern Russian writers, criticising them for trying too hard to follow the Post-Modernist genre. He claimed to have no moral or political aims in his writing but said that he did have some kind of philosophy and definitely some principles. In response to a comment that some writers, for example Rushdie, believe that they have no responsibility for what they write, he said, “Man is responsible for everything he does, for his thoughts and dreams, but the responsibility is to oneself, not to an outside force. The Russian writer Tyutchev once said, “An uttered thought is a lie. When writing you make a statement and you have to abide by it, even if your situation changes.” When asked why he wrote, he replied that this was like asking a military doctor why he should treat wounded soldiers only to see them killed later in battle. “The doctor says, because I’m a doctor,” Pelevin replied. “I write because I’m a writer. A writer doesn’t really know why he writes.” This provoked the question that he might be reacting against the idea that the Soviet writer should be a moral prophet and he replied by stressing the importance of the creative element in the writing process.

The writer Victor Pelevin

The discussion moved to the current literary situation in Russia and Pelevin talked about how perestroika led to changes in people’s tastes and in what they could obtain. Remarking on the ever-expanding literary pluralism in his country, he said, “When perestroika started, no one thought of the consequences. Writers played a big role in perestroika and now nobody buys their books: the tastes of the mass audience are different from what they expected. Publishing houses aim to make money and cheap detective novels are bigger sellers than books like for example, The Collector by John Fowles.”

Questions about Russian current affairs were raised and when asked to comment on the crisis in Chechnya, Pelevin said, “I think it is awful. We don’t need a war there. The Chechens are very brave and are ready to die for their cause. They will gain independence sooner or later, so it is better if it comes sooner.” Next he was asked who he thought would be the next President and he replied with a smile, “Maybe we won’t have a President, maybe we will have a next General Secretary or even a next Tsar!” Then he added more seriously that if the conflict in Chechnya failed, Yeltsin would have to resign; he favoured the liberal Yulinsky as his successor.

Once the discussion had drawn to a close, the audience was able to buy copies of Omon Ra, which Pelevin was happy to sign.

The Russian Booker Prize Judge for 1993, Geoffrey Hosking, described Victor Pelevin as writing “socio-metaphysical fantasy” and as having an “exotic and inventive imagination.” Omon Ra is a fantastic novel interwoven with strands of magical realism and the grotesque. The eponymous hero takes his name from the Russian word meaning “special police forces” and adds to it that of the Egyptian sun god. Set in the days of the Space Race, when the Americans were sending manned missions to the moon, Omon Ra tells the story of a fervent young man with an obsessive ambition to become a cosmonaut. This ambition takes him to the KGB secret space training school, where he learns that he is to be part of a suicide mission to the moon, so that the West may not discover that the USSR has neither the money to send disposable automated craft, nor the technology to recover manned vessels. This sets the tone for sinister manipulations of individuals by the State and the book is spattered with macabre incidents, such as the amputation of the cadets’ legs so that they may become true Soviet heroes like the amputee Maresiev who still fought the Nazis, or the mysterious disappearance of Omon’s friend Mitiok after an examination known as the “reincarnation check”. Pelevin works these episodes seamlessly into his narrative so that they appear chillingly normal and at the same time writes with moving simplicity and inspirational perception on the value of human life in the face of inevitable death, on the passion for living that the beauty of the earth and the heavens can evoke, and on the true meaning – not the Soviet meaning – of brotherhood and love for one’s country.

Secondary characters are painted in with lightning brush strokes. Particularly memorable is the ambiguous Colonel Urchagin; blind and wheelchair-bound, he is part James Bond-style evil genius, part wise old uncle who imparts hidden truths to Omon. As Omon speeds towards the moon and shares in the last moments of the other cosmonauts who sacrifice their lives at earlier stages of the mission, the most banal moments of life, such as a cycle ride outside Moscow or listening to Pink Floyd, take on an ever more intense and precious quality. Pelevin leaves us an impression of real humanity and purity of spirit which transcends the Soviet setting and has universal significance, and which endures beyond the novel’s dramatic and desolate conclusion.

Published in the same volume as Omon Ra is the allegorical novella The Yellow Arrow. This is the name of a train hurtling towards an unknown destination, while the passengers go about their daily lives, working and relaxing, never dreaming that it is possible to get off or that anything apart from the Abominable Snowman may exist outside the train. The same elements found in Omon Ra are present here: the absurdity of the situation, the sinister unexplained happenings, the powerful sense of humanity. Stronger, though, is the existentialist comment on the futility of life, and the Yellow Arrow passengers seem to bury themselves in their individual mundane existences, ignoring the inexorable forces that sweep them to a bleak fate. However, Pelevin ends on a still-small note of optimism, as the train’s movement is suddenly suspended to let the hero descend and hear for the first time the modest but supremely beautiful sounds of nature.

(Original link)

I have read The Yellow Arrow (the library has an English translation), but none of the others; the topics they are about don’t interest me. I do not like the so-called “post-modern” style of literature as a rule; a lot of it seems to be about odd people doing peculiar things, rather than the traditional linear plot style. I could not write in a literary style; I tend to be literal – my mind does not work in the abstract (this was evident in the paintings I used to do – they were in a realist style; I could not do abstracts). But I did like Omon Ra and I like to re-read bits of it; a lot of what it says is pertinent to topics I’ve written about in this journal.

[Omon-Ra is online at www.lib.ru: Russian version | English translation.

~ Ended 7:28 p.m.

Tuesday 13/8

Decided to see a movie today at Southland, one just released called Birthday Girl starring Aussie actress Nicole Kidman; the film is British-made. John, a lonely English bank teller applies for a Russian wife via a website specializing in such things, and Nadia turns up at Heathrow Airport. He takes her back to his house. Later on, two of her Russian “cousins,” Andrei and Yurii, also invite themselves to stay. Turns out they are a trio who specialize in preying upon men like John – they have a well-practiced scheme going. John is forced to steal 90,000 pounds from the bank where he works, and much mayhem results with them becoming fugitives, but all ends happily for John and Nadia with them fleeing for a new life in Russia. The two vodka-swilling Russian con-men were played by two French actors, who were quite lively and appealing (John was like a dead stick of wood beside them). The movie wasn’t a bad way to pass the time, though I found the sex scenes a bit discomforting – bordering on distasteful. The characters seemed to spend most of their time either bonking or bashing each other up! I really find it uncomfortable watching such intimacy with an audience. There were a few pensioners in the audience! Today was “Super Tuesday” where cinema tickets are $8.50 (I paid $9 as I inadvertently was put in Cinema Europa, but at least the seats were more comfortable!). Perhaps I will go to the movies a little more often (i.e. more than once a year), though there is not much on, currently. Movies are a form of escapism, which I am desperate for. The movie is different from my usual sci-fi fare, but sometimes I like a change! John had been in his dreary bank job for 10 years – something I could (unfortunately) relate to!

My parents had a new front fence installed today, to replace the ancient brown one which was falling apart, having been put up in the 1970s. The new fence is green-grey with cream-colored trim; it is a tall fence with a lattice-work top section, and looks quite smart. The main worry are those pesky neighborhood vandals who will come past one night, think NEW FENCE! and proceed to spray graffiti all over it, or something. I wish I could lay in wait with a shotgun or baseball bat and lay into them!

[And the fence certainly was damaged – four times, to date.

Dad bought the just-released Lord of the Rings part 1: The Fellowship of the Ring DVD, and we watched it on Sunday afternoon. It was enjoyable, with excellent special effects and the characters were true to the book. I wish now I had gone to see it in the cinema, as it would have been much more spectacular. Unfortunately, Dad’s DVD player is malfunctioning – the picture image keeps jumping – so we couldn’t see the movie properly. Don’t know if the DVD player is repairable or not, yet. The second part of LOTR comes out on Boxing Day, so I will go to see it when it does.

Some cold and wet winter weather blew in on Sunday night with a ferocious cold front that brought rain and hail for a few minutes. It’s been showery yesterday and today. There’s been severe floods in Europe and Asia.

~ Ended 6:40 p.m.

Friday 16/8

The next Shuttle mission is not due to launch until the end of September – around the 28th – and now cracks have been found in the bearings of one of the huge Crawlers (#2) which transport the Shuttle stack to the launch pad. These were built in the 1960s to transport the Apollo rockets, so they are quite old! At least the Russian program isn’t the only one beset with problems.

The questions I sent to “Ask the ISS crew” still haven’t been answered, so that might be too much to hope for.

~ Ended 7:42 p.m.

Saturday 17/8

Saw the ISS this morning at 6:09 a.m., SSW to SSE at 20° for a couple of minutes. 2 of the crew did one of 2 EVAs yesterday in the Russian space suits. For some reason there are almost no photos of these suits on the NASA website – none taken outside during an EVA. The Energiya website also has no in-flight ISS photos; NASA is the only one displaying these. It is annoying and frustrating. I wish I could send up requests for photos.

Lance Bass seems set to go on the next Soyuz flight after all as his sponsors have promised to pay up. The mission has a cloth patch already designed. I feel more depressed every time I read about all of this – these people live in a different reality from my dreary one. I do not have much money left in my account and I feel despairing and hopeless. Nothing I do is worth anything. I am not good at anything and I have no skills or talents. I have not had any friends my own age for longer than I can remember, and I do not think I would be able to socialize, now – my reclusiveness is only worsening and I am unable to cope interacting with other humans. I have forgotten how to. Not to mention my physical unattractiveness which does nothing for my negligible self-esteem. I wish I had never existed.

~ Ended 7:49 p.m.

Wednesday 21/8

Got a glimpse of the ISS this morning during my walk, though I couldn’t see it well as I wasn’t wearing my glasses. It passed high overhead at 5:40 a.m., 74° for around 2 minutes, heading SW to E. The nearly-full Moon was sinking into the west, colored golden.

More woes for the beleaguered Russian military with the shooting down of an Mi-26 helicopter with around 132 servicemen on board in Chechnya. To make things worse, it crashed into a mine field, so the survivors who scrambled out got blown up. The helicopter was apparently downed with a shoulder-held rocket launcher by a Chechen rebel – that war is still dragging on, killing lots of soldiers. Perhaps they should nuke the rebels and be done with it!

Speaking of nukes, I had a vivid dream a couple of nights ago about an atomic explosion – this has been an occasional recurring image in my dreams over the years. I might start a separate “Dream Diary” on my computer to record dreams of interest.

One of the current ISS crew, the American Peggy Whitson, has been writing “Letters Home” describing life on board the ISS (7 letters so far); a sort of diary. These are informative, and I wish all ISS crews would do this. Bill Shepard of Expedition 1 kept a “Ship’s Log” during his stay, but NASA unfortunately chose to censor parts of it – “redact” sections where he complained about various problems encountered – which rather defeated the purpose of the logs. Daily “On-Orbit Status” reports at Spaceref.com provide detailed summaries of each day’s activities; these are helpful also. I would be lost without the Internet, now! There is so much information on it that is unavailable by any other means – books and magazines are very inadequate.

~ Ended 7:37 p.m.

Thursday 22/8

Got a good view of the ISS this morning as it passed from W to N at 21° for around 5 minutes, with the nearly-full Moon again sinking into the west.

Dad bought another video recorder as the one he had was malfunctioning. This must be his third or fourth one! Mine is also playing up – it makes a grinding noise sometimes when stopping or pausing. Can’t afford to have it fixed. Videos and thus video recorders are gradually being phased out as DVDs become popular, but I hope they’ll be around a while yet, despite videos’ disadvantages – I can’t afford a DVD player or DVDs (around $30 each).

~ Ended 7:22 p.m.

Friday 30/8

Nearly the end of August, getting close to the end of the year. I’ve been almost a year out of work. I got my tax refund back for $340, which was a bit more than I expected I would get.

Went out for lunch yesterday with parents and Bill and Pam Waters to the usual place (Food Star in Frankston).

A mention of Lance Bass’s forthcoming space trip on SBS news tonight; he was filmed visiting the Houston ISS training centre. His trip is still uncertain as his sponsors haven’t made the full payment yet, last I read. He just about has to sell his soul to get up there, performing various publicity stunts for the sponsors (Radioshack and others). I guess, being a pop star, he’s used to that! But I wish there was a way of getting ordinary people into space without all this admittedly cheapening commercialization.

I’m still “tweaking” the two stories I more-or-less completed; I’ve altered them completely in some parts as I found out new things. I certainly know a lot more about the Russian space and ISS programs than I did last year! The Internet is a goldmine of information. I reckon I wouldn’t do too badly if I had the chance to train as a space tourist – that’s if I could sort out my mental problems and acquire 20 million dollars …

~ Ended 8:01 p.m.

September

Thursday 5/9

Mum and Dad went up to Rochester yesterday to visit Michele and family; they returned just earlier. Michele has a new puppy: a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Caspian, who is 8 weeks old and cute.

Had some very windy weather this last week. On Sunday night, gale-force winds of up to 120 km/hr wreaked havoc across Victoria – fortunately, Bentleigh wasn’t too badly affected (no power cuts like some places). It’s been windy up to today, but nothing like that night. Heard some ferocious wind gusts during the night, then!

Went into the city today and decided to see the Space Station 3D movie once again! I had a 2-hour ticket, which by putting in the machine just after the hour (9:00) can be extended to 12:00. Half-an-hour train ride in and back out, and I’ve under 2 hours in the city. The IMAX movie was 50 minutes, with a 15-minute walk from Melbourne Central to the Carlton Gardens, so I just made it in time! I picked up some more details in this second viewing that I didn’t in the first, so it wasn’t wasted (details to use in my stories). If only I could go up there …

I wish I could get the soundtrack, which I liked; but there seems to be no CD available.

Lance Bass’s space trip appears to be off again – his sponsors have again failed to meet the re-set fare payment date, so the Russians, who sound rather fed-up, have told him, “Forget it.” The Soyuz flight is in early October. He still may yet get to go. If not, some cargo will go in his place (though I thought they would have sent one of the back-up crew).

Watched The Lord of the Rings again yesterday on Dad’s DVD player – the annoying picture jumping seems to have been fixed. A 170-minute haul, but it is an excellent film! The book is one of the few fantasy novels worth reading (and rereading) – the predecessor to the fantasy novels which proliferate today. I don’t read fantasy as such any more, and much of the science fiction has little appeal for me – in fact, it’s difficult to find stories that appeal. They are mostly American-dominated, and their view of the world gets increasingly tedious. I want something different.

~ Ended 3:11 p.m.

Sunday 8/9

It’s coming up to a year since September 11, so there is a deluge of documentaries and articles in the media. It is beginning to get just a little wearying. Yes, it was a dreadful tragedy but there are many other awful things continuing to happen in the world which receive scant attention. And the American government under George W. Bush is continuing the same policies and attitudes which incited the terrorist act in the first place – i.e. America acting like a rogue nation – President Bush seems hell-bent on attacking Iraq under Saddam Hussein whether other nations approve or not.

As part of a September 11 security clamp, NASA has barred access to some of its web sites, including the one which releases the ISS daily “On-Orbit Status” reports, a detailed review of the ISS crew’s daily activities. This is very annoying as there’s much detail in these unobtainable elsewhere. The OSS’s have been off-line since 1/9. I hope it is not permanent. I don’t see how the reports constitute a security risk – it’s not as if terrorists could blow up or hijack the ISS! (Great plot for a story, though.)

~ Ended 6:29 p.m.

Tuesday 10/9

The On-Orbit Status Reports were back on-line today when I checked at the library, happily – a week’s worth. The media is deluging us with September 11 retrospectives and memorials. A year ago I was still miserable at That Awful Place. It’s like a years-long bad dream which I only want to forget. If only I could erase it from my history, and other people’s memories.

~ Ended 6:54 p.m.

Monday 16/9

A ferocious wind storm last night, and it’s still very windy now, and starting to rain. Only two weeks since the last storm! Yesterday was very warm – 28°C – and windy; it clouded over and the gales came overnight. Didn’t sleep very well. It will have caused much damage and power blackouts across the state (again), though there’s been no blackouts here (yet). There seems to have been a lot of north winds, rarely any southerly winds, in the last few years.

~ Ended 7:30 a.m.

Friday 20/9

Another week gone. Little of interest, as usual. Have to renew my Health Care Card soon – something I am dreading. I hate this dreary place and the life I am in. It is so disparate from the dreams in my head.

Still no reply to my “Ask the ISS Crew” questions, frustratingly. They’ve posted no photos of the two Orlan EVAs they did, either. I have no one to ask about this stuff, and I feel trapped and frustrated. I see no one other than my parents now, and I am getting despairing and angry. I hate my life and I wish I had never been born. It is a useless waste of time.

~ Ended 6:26 p.m.

Monday 23/9

A house 2 doors up south behind us (in the street behind us) has the dreaded “yellow notice” up in its front yard – 2 two-storied units are to be built there. I wish there were something we could do to stop it, but what? It is frustrating to be so powerless. I would love to see all developers burned at the stake. I wish we could move – it is getting too crowded here. Bentleigh used to be a pleasant suburb, but now it is considered “desirable” and house prices have risen to ridiculous levels.

Lance Bass might be getting his space flight after all, but on the one following this one, the Soyuz going up next April.

Read an article in The Age today at the library called “Veni, Vidi, Vici” by Jonathon Freedland (originally published in The Guardian), analysing how the USA is similar to the ancient Roman Empire. I wrote down the main points:

Veni, Vidi, Vici

By Jonathan Freedland
The Age, 23 September, 2002

The word of the hour is empire. As the United States marches to war, no other label quite seems to capture the scope of American power or the scale of its ambition. “Sole superpower” is accurate enough, but seems oddly modest. “Hyperpower” may appeal to the French; “hegemon” is favoured by academics. But empire is the big one, the gorilla of geopolitical designations – and suddenly America is bearing its name.

Of course, enemies of the US have shaken their fist at its “imperialism” for decades: they are doing it again now, as Washington wages a global “war against terror” and braces itself for a campaign aimed at “regime change” in a foreign, sovereign state. What is more surprising, and much newer, is that the notion of an American empire has suddenly become a live debate inside the US. And not just among Europhile liberals either, but across the range – from left to right. Today a liberal dissenter such as Gore Vidal, who called his most recent collection of essays on the US “The Last Empire,” finds an ally in the likes of conservative columnist Charles Krauthammer. Earlier this year, Krauthammer told The New York Times: “People are coming out of the closet on the word ‘empire’.” He argued that Americans should admit the truth and face up to their responsibilities as the undisputed masters of the world. And it wasn’t any old empire he had in mind. “The fact is, no cou ntry has been as dominant culturally, economically, technologically and militarily in the history of the world since the Roman Empire.”

Accelerated by the post-September 11 debate on America’s role in the world, the idea of the United States as a 21st-century Rome is gaining a foothold in the country’s consciousness. The New York Review of Books illustrated a recent piece on US might with a drawing of George Bush togged up as a Roman centurion, complete with shield and spears. Earlier this month, Boston’s WBUR radio station titled a special on US imperial power with the Latin tag Pax Americana. Tom Wolfe has written that the America of today is “now the mightiest power on earth, as omnipotent as … Rome under Julius Caesar”.

But is the comparison apt? Are the Americans the new Romans? In making a documentary film on the subject over the past few months, I put that question to a group of people uniquely qualified to know – Britain’s leading historians of the ancient world. They know Rome intimately; without exception, they are struck by the similarities between the empire of now and the imperium of then.

The most obvious is overwhelming military strength. Rome was the superpower of its day, boasting an army with the best training, biggest budgets and finest equipment the world had ever seen. No one else came close. America is just as dominant: its defence budget will soon be bigger than the military spending of the next nine countries put together, allowing the US to deploy its forces almost anywhere on the planet at lightning speed. Throw in the country’s global technological lead and the US emerges as a power without rival.

There is a big difference, of course. Apart from the odd Puerto Rico or Guam, the US does not have formal colonies, the way the Romans (or British, for that matter) always did. There are no American consuls or viceroys directly ruling faraway lands. But that difference between ancient Rome and modern Washington may be less significant than it looks. After all, America has done plenty of conquering and colonising: it’s just that we don’t see it that way. For some historians, the founding of America and its 19th-century push westward were no less an exercise in empire-building than Rome’s drive to take charge of the Mediterranean. Julius Caesar took on the Gauls – bragging that he had slaughtered a million of them – and the American pioneers battled the Cherokee, the Iroquois and the Sioux.

“From the time the first settlers arrived in Virginia from England and started moving westward, this was an imperial nation, a conquering nation,” according to Paul Kennedy, author of The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers.

More to the point, the US has military bases, or base rights, in some 40 countries across the world, giving it the same global muscle it would enjoy if it ruled those countries directly. Pentagon figures show that there is a US military presence, large or small, in 132 of the 190 member states of the United Nations.

So the US may be more Roman than we realise, with garrisons in every corner of the globe. But there the similarities only begin, for America’s entire approach to empire looks quintessentially Roman. It’s as if the Romans bequeathed a blueprint for how imperial business should be done – and today’s Americans are following it religiously.

Lesson one in the Roman handbook for imperial success would be a realisation that it is not enough to have great military strength: the rest of the world must know that strength - and fear it, too. The Romans used the propaganda technique of their time – gladiatorial games in the Colosseum – to show the world how hard they were. Today, 24-hour news coverage of US military operations, including video footage of smart bombs scoring direct hits, or Hollywood shoot-’em-ups at the multiplex serve the same function. Both tell the world: this empire is too tough to beat.

The US has learnt a second lesson from Rome, realising the centrality of technology. For the Romans, it was those famously straight roads, enabling the empire to move troops or supplies at comparatively awesome speeds – rates that would not be surpassed for well over 1000 years. It was a perfect example of how one imperial strength tends to feed another: an innovation in engineering, originally designed for military use, went on to boost Rome commercially. Today, those highways find their counterpart in the information superhighway: the Internet also began as a military tool, devised by the US Defence Department, and now stands at the heart of American commerce. In the process, it is making English the Latin of its day, a language spoken across the globe. The US is proving what the Romans already knew: that once an empire is a world leader in one sphere, it soon dominates in every other.

But it is not just specific tips that the US seems to have picked up from its ancient forebears. Rather, it is the fundamental approach to empire that echoes so loudly. Rome understood that, if it was to last, a world power needed to practise both hard imperialism, the business of winning wars and invading lands, and soft imperialism, the cultural and political tricks that work not to win power but to keep it.

So Rome’s greatest conquests came not at the end of a spear, but through its power to seduce conquered peoples. As Tacitus observed in Britain, the natives seemed to like togas, baths and central heating – never realising that these were the symbols of their “enslavement”. Today, the US offers the people of the world a similarly coherent cultural package, a cluster of goodies that remain reassuringly uniform wherever you are. It’s not togas or gladiatorial games today, but Starbucks, Coca-Cola, McDonald’s and Disney, all paid for in the contemporary equivalent of Roman coinage, the global hard currency of the 21st century: the US dollar.

When the process works, you don’t even have to resort to direct force; it is possible to rule by remote control, using friendly client states. This is a favourite technique for the contemporary US – no need for colonies when you have the Shah in Iran or Pinochet in Chile to do the job for you – but the Romans got there first. They ruled by proxy whenever they could. Britons, of all people, should know: one of the most loyal of client kings ruled in the southern England of the first century AD.

His name was Togidubnus; you can still visit the grand palace that was his at Fishbourne, in Sussex. The mosaic floors, in remarkable condition, are reminders of the cool palatial quarters where guests would have gathered for preprandial drinks or a perhaps an audience with the king. Historians now believe that Togidubnus was a high-born Briton educated in Rome, brought back to Fishbourne and installed as a pro-Roman puppet.

Just as Washington’s elite private schools are full of the “pro-Western” Arab kings, South American presidents or African leaders of the future, so Rome took in the heirs of the conquered nations’ top families, preparing them for lives as rulers in Rome’s interest.

Just as Hosni Mubarak and Pervez Musharraf have kept the lid on anti-American feeling in Egypt and Pakistan, Togidubnus did the same job for Rome nearly two millennia ago.

Not that it always worked. Rebellions against the empire were a permanent fixture, with barbarians constantly pressing at the borders. Some accounts suggest that the rebels were not always fundamentally anti-Roman; they merely wanted to share in the privileges and affluence of Roman life. If that has a familiar ring, consider this: several of the enemies who rose up against Rome are thought to have been men previously nurtured by the empire to serve as pliant allies. Need one mention former US protege Saddam Hussein or one-time CIA trainee Osama bin Laden?

Rome even had its own “September 11 moment”. In the 80s B.C., Hellenistic king Mithridates called on his followers to kill all Roman citizens in their midst, naming a specific day for the slaughter. They heeded the call and killed 80,000 Romans in local communities across Greece.

“The Romans were incredibly shocked by this,” says ancient historian Jeremy Paterson, of England’s Newcastle University. “It’s a little bit like the statements in so many of the American newspapers since September 11: ‘Why are we hated so much?’.”

America shares Rome’s conviction that it is on a mission sanctioned from on high. Augustus declared himself the son of a god, raising a statue to his adoptive father Julius Caesar on a podium alongside Mars and Venus. The US dollar bill bears the words “In God we trust” and US politicians always like to end their speeches with “God bless America”.

Even that most modern American trait, its ethnic diversity, would make the Romans feel comfortable. Their society was remarkably diverse, taking in people from all over the world – and even promising new immigrants the chance to rise to the very top (so long as they were from the right families). While America is yet to have a non-white president, Rome boasted an emperor from north Africa, Septimius Severus.

There are some large differences between the two empires, starting with self-image. Romans revelled in their status as masters of the known world, but few Americans would be as ready to brag of their own imperialism. Most would deny it. But that may come down to America’s founding myth. For the US was established as a rebellion against empire, in the name of freedom and self-government. Raised to see themselves as a rebel nation and plucky underdog, they can’t quite accept their current role as master. One last factor scares Americans from making a parallel between themselves and Rome: that empire declined and fell. The historians say this happens to all empires; they are dynamic entities that follow a common path, from beginning to middle to end.

“What America will need to consider in the next 10 or 15 years,” says Cambridge classicist Christopher Kelly, “is what is the optimum size for a non-territorial empire, how interventionist will it be outside its borders, what degree of control will it wish to exercise, how directly, how much through local elites? These were all questions that pressed upon the Roman Empire.”

Anti-Americans like to believe that an operation in Iraq might be proof that the US is succumbing to the temptation that ate away at Rome: overstretch. But it’s just as possible that the US is merely moving into what was the second phase of Rome’s imperial history, when it grew frustrated with indirect rule through allies and decided to do the job itself.

Which is it? Is the US at the end of its imperial journey, or on the brink of its most ambitious voyage? Only the historians of the future can tell us that.

– Guardian

The USA is going to remain a dominant power for a long time yet, unfortunately. Probably only a well-placed asteroid could end its rule! So far in history, no empire has lasted forever – I think the longest was the Ancient Egyptians, whose culture persisted for around 5000 years or so until the Romans came along. China has also a long history, but it’s had different types of empires, not one continuing one (if I am correct). The Soviet Empire lasted for around 75 years, but it was unsustainable given the endemic political corruption and mismanagement of its population – not to mention the purges that killed 20 million or so, thus wasting much potential human skills and talents. It was, essentially, a hollow shell – it only had the appearance of invincibility. The USA, in contrast, is a relatively healthy and vibrant democracy and economy (though not without its own problems – but all countries have these to some extent).

Make no mistake, the USA is, despite its benevolent appearance, ruthlessly determined to maintain its dominance. You only have to look at President George W. Bush’s determination to oust Saddam Hussein with or without the rest of the world’s approval. The leaders of the USA and Iraq are two “alpha males” facing off to each other, each determined not to be the first to back down. America is already building up its military forces in the Gulf, preparing for battle.

The September 11 terrorist attacks that destroyed the World Trade Center last year only strengthened the USA’s resolve, and gave it an excuse to launch a strategy of “pre-emptive strikes” against nations it deems to be aiding or harboring terrorists.

I’ve remarked in earlier journal entries how the USA, through NASA, is determined to maintain its dominance of space as well. Russia’s space program has more or less been subverted to that of NASA’s. Russia made a “deal with the Devil” when it signed the space co-operation pact with the USA in the early 1990s – Russia saved its manned space program from collapse by doing this, but lost its independence. The USA, in turn, got Russian space flight technology and know-how virtually for free.

On a different subject, I bought a copy of the magazine Skeptical Inquirer (Vol. 26, № 4) featuring articles on the rise of “pseudo science” in Russia since the fall of Communism, as well as the resurgence of religion. Its population, having lost one belief system, are seeking others, and it is an ideal climate for charlatanism to flourish. All sorts of wacky “New-Age” cults have appeared, as well as pesky Christian missionaries of various denominations. There’s also Muslim extremists (linked to Al-Quaeda) as an added threat. The Orthodox Church has also been quick to get its claws back into the population again; it has a worrying influence in government and education and seeks to erase the distinction between church and state. Dubious paranormal beliefs have been renewed.

This is certainly nothing new in the West, where New Age mysticism, alternative therapies, paranormal phenomena and the like have been rising in popularity since the 1960s. But to quote from an article in the magazine:

Pseudoscientists, ignorant officials, unwise philosophers, an ignorant mass media and clerics are all pulling Russia backwards. Yes, the decline of interest in science is dangerous to the future of mankind. This is seen all over the world, but Russia seems to be ahead of the entire planet, this time in its retrograde movement towards the New Middle Ages. Whether we can stop this fall into the abyss depends on our success in struggling with antiscience – and also whether popular scientific literature will be accessible to the population. Unfortunately, this is not the case in Russia today.

– Yurii N. Efremov, “The Reliability of Scientific Knowledge and the Enemies of Science”.

Banning religion does not seem to work – the Communists tried this and only drove the Church underground. Perhaps only educating the population might have some effect. Teach science and logical thinking in schools – start when young – and relegate religion to the status of earlier mythologies. Enforce the separation between Church and State. Ban religious schools – only permit secular government schools with a uniform curriculum to operate. (This, incidentally, should be implemented in other countries, too – though there would be an outcry from civil libertarian types.)

I do not know how effective this might be, but it’s a start. Unfortunately, humans in their current stage of evolution seem to have an innate need for a belief system, whether religious or political – it aids social cohesion. Perhaps only genetic engineering can enable humans to evolve beyond our primitive beliefs – but, not coincidentally, genetic engineering is seen as “playing God” and thus morally abhorrent by many, particularly religious types. Such a program would have to be done in secret, over a long period of time.

I have gone though interests in “New Age” mysticism and such – during a period in my early 20s – but in recent years I’ve come to see it for the irrational idiocy it is. Dad converted to Christianity in 1981 and dragged us to Church with him through my teenage years. I even tried converting to Christianity in my mid-teens, more to please Dad than anything else, but I drifted away from it, disillusioned. I had no sense of any Divine presence in my life, no sudden revelation – no sense of anything “out there”. I had (and have) my own imaginary characters and daydreams, and these provided ample creative satisfaction. I’ve seen God described as the ultimate imaginary friend! Religions and gods are creations of the human mind, phantoms in our heads – outside of this, there is only a void.

I note that in the Russian segment of the ISS an icon has been put up above a hatchway in Zvezda (a picture of Mary holding an infant Jesus). I think one of the Expedition 3 cosmonauts posted this up. It’s dismaying to think that otherwise sensible people hold such irrational beliefs! Religion is one thing I would want space exploration to be free of; unfortunately it seems that people take their beliefs with them.

~ Ended 4:13 p.m.

October

Thursday 3/10

I’ve been keeping this computer journal for a year already. Time seems to go so fast as you get older. The only good thing about this year is that I am not at That Awful Place anymore. My savings are steadily dwindling – they’re around $900 or so. I had to go to Centerlink in Cheltenham this morning to renew my Health Care Card, but still feel reluctant to ask about assistance. I picked up a brochure, but this is of no comfort – the government is very hard on those applying for the dole now, and I could not cope with the punitive conditions. I have literally done nothing for a decade or more, I have not looked for other work during that time, and I have absolutely no skills. I have also withdrawn completely from the real world and cannot find motivation to do anything. I just can’t face it at all. I hate my f**king life and wish I had not been born. I wish I were not me.

The launch of the next Space Shuttle mission, STS-112, has been delayed till 7 October at least because of Hurricane Lili in the Gulf of Mexico, as described in this Status Report:

International Space Station Status Report #02-45

10 a.m. CDT, Wednesday, Oct. 2, 2002
Expedition Five Crew

U.S. flight control of the International Space Station was shifted early today from Houston’s Mission Control Center to Houston Support Group personnel in Mission Control Moscow as Hurricane Lili threatened the Johnson Space Center.

Preparations included powering down Mission Control Houston as Lili approached the Gulf Coast. The storm was expected to take a more northerly heading beginning late today or early Thursday, leading to a landfall on the Louisiana coast. Forecasters say it will be at least midnight before the storm’s course becomes more clear, so preparations continue at Johnson Space Center.

The hurricane preparation in Houston also led to a delay in the launch of Atlantis to the on STS-112 flight to the space station. Atlantis, bringing the Starboard 1 Truss segment to the station, is now scheduled to launch no earlier than Monday. The Houston Support Group is an organization that includes flight controllers and others based at Mission Control Moscow in the Russian capital’s suburb of Korolev. They will continue reduced flight control operations communicating with the orbiting laboratory using Russian ground stations augmented by U.S. ground stations. The group in Russia remains in close contact with the flight control team in Houston, which is using other Johnson Space Center facilities.

Aboard the orbiting laboratory, Expedition 5 Commander Valery Korzun, NASA International Space Station Science Officer Peggy Whitson, and Cosmonaut Sergei Treschev, were told of the shift Tuesday afternoon CDT, near the end of their working day. They were told a little after 9 a.m. today of the delay in Atlantis’ launch.

The station’s 240-foot solar wing assembly is no longer tracking the sun, because of reduced monitoring capabilities on the ground. As a result of decreased power production, some non-essential equipment aboard the station was turned off to reduce power consumption. Otherwise, the crew is working through an essentially normal day on the orbiting laboratory.

The questions that I sent off to “Ask the ISS Crew” still have not been answered, so I guess I’ll have to give up hope there. A part of me hates and envies the astronauts, cosmonauts and others in the space industry – it’s as though they exist in a parallel universe that is inaccessible to the likes of I. I’m just stuck in this dreary grey existence where I have little to look forward to until I die.

There’s an American woman by the name of Lori Garver who is hoping to go up as a space tourist next year. She is busy raising cash through sponsors. She is one of those intimidating professionals – I think she worked for NASA, among other things. She is billing herself as “Astromom” – a wholesome “soccer mom” (to use the nauseating American phrase) who is an “inspiration” to kids and others. She had a website some months ago, which I had a look at – full of sickeningly sentimental drivel. I hate her and envy her too, because she seems to be everything I am not – i.e. successful and happy. I hope she doesn’t get to go up, but she probably will. I secretly feel that I have more right to go up than she does – that I could appreciate it more. I have all the photos planned that I would like to take; I would create a website and keep a detailed on-line training journal. I have been doing research for my stories – whatever I can scrounge from the Internet and from books – and know a lot more about the ISS than I did last year (though still barely enough).

[The “Astromom” website is archived here at Archive.org.

(Had a break for dinner.) I’m still fussing about with those two stories I completed a couple of months ago; I keep picking up errors or changing things. I don’t think anything I do is worth much. I’m not a great artist (I’ve not drawn anything for a few months – can’t seem to be able to concentrate) nor a great writer. I feel so inadequate – something I’ve felt all my life, that I’m just not good enough. And if I’m not the best at something, then I don’t want to do it at all.

~ Ended 6:33 p.m.

Wednesday 9/10

Mum and Dad left for Rochester not long ago to stay the night there and visit Michele, as usual. Today marks 2 years since Gran’s funeral, I only realized not long ago – and 2 years on the 6th since she died. She was the grandparent I was closest to – the one Michele and I saw the most of – so I miss her the most. I still have vivid dreams about walking around her house and in the backyard.

The STS-112 Atlantis mission finally lifted off yesterday (Monday in the USA), heading to dock with the ISS tomorrow. Another segment of the truss will be installed. This segment alone costs, in Australian dollars, $700 million! NASA seems to have all these billions of dollars to play with like confetti.

Found this quote in a recent James Oberg (a well-known space writer) article about Dennis Tito’s landing in the Soyuz, which was apparently rougher than normal:

In contrast, the rumor among some NASA astronauts was that the flight crew had “screwed up,” a point of view that coincided with the general disdain that professional astronauts often express privately toward nonprofessional “tourists”.

– “Rough space ride raises questions,” James Oberg, April 25, 2002

What insufferably arrogant snobs they are, then! Apparently, some feel that space should remain an exclusive resort for the privileged few. It makes their descriptions from orbit of “seeing the human race as one” and so on sound rather hollow. Bugger them – those who have that superior attitude aren’t worth giving the time of day to. They should never, ever forget that they are up there because of the taxes paid by millions of their fellow citizens. They could surely be a bit more magnanimous when one of those taxpayers (Dennis Tito in this case) is able to pay his own way up and experience for a little while what professional astronauts and cosmonauts are fortunate enough to do for a living. Few of us have what it takes to become a professional astronaut or cosmonaut, so why shouldn’t people be able to seek alternate routes into orbit?

It’s noteworthy that NASA had already flown people who could essentially be considered “tourists” in the 1980s: Senator Jake Garn, Congressman Bill Nelson, and teacher Christa McAuliffe (the latter, of course, didn’t make it into orbit). And none of them had to pay a dime! They went up at taxpayers’ expense. NASA also apparently has plans for space tourists on the Shuttle in the future. So their petulant posturing over Dennis Tito’s flight in 2001 was utter hypocrisy. The “safety issue” was a smokescreen: the real issue was over who controlled the ISS and access to it. As I’ve stated elsewhere, NASA wish to dominate space like America does the Earth, and they don’t like anyone challenging that. The “Space Mafia” is the right nickname for them. Bugger them.

~ Ended 10:07 a.m.

Sunday 13/10

A couple of thunderstorms last night, at 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. approximately, as fronts swept through with rain. I cowered under my bedsheets, as usual!

A couple of terrorist car bombs were exploded in a nightclub area in Bali last night, killing nearly a couple of hundred, including many Australians. America had warned of possible terrorist threats against Australia only a few days ago. There are Muslim terrorist groups in Indonesia linked to Al-Qaeda, and one of these could be responsible.

The S-1 truss was successfully installed on the starboard side of the S-0 truss on the ISS with the robot arm, and one spacewalk has been done so far to attach some cables and stuff. Missions over the next year will see more sections of the truss installed, and the other three photovoltaic arrays brought up.

The next Russian component is the Universal Docking Module, but no date for its launch has been set, given Energiya’s funding woes. There’s also the Science Power Platform, which is a mast with more solar arrays, but the status of this, too, is uncertain. The U.S. construction is definitely getting all the attention, with its many glamorous spacewalks! Russia has definitely taken second place to NASA in space – a dismal state of affairs compared to a couple of decades ago.

Energiya’s website – www.energia.ru/english/ – is inferior to NASA’s vast array of sites; no inflight photos of the ISS crews are available on the Energiya site. NASA seems to get all these – perhaps because the photos are downlinked using the U.S. Ku-band or something. I would love to suggest ways to improve the Energiya site – more information about the Russian segment (diagrams, documents, etc.) for example, but I doubt anyone would listen, even if I worked up the courage to e-mail them.

~ Ended 6:37 p.m.

Saturday 19/10

The space shuttle Atlantis landed okay after another successful mission (yawn). Unfortunately for the Russians, a Soyuz-U rocket carrying a research satellite blew up after launch from the Plesetsk cosmodrome, killing one soldier and injuring 8 others, and partially destroying the launch pad. As the Soyuz TMA-1 spaceship will also be launched on the same type of rocket, this will set back its launch until the results of the inquiry come in. It won’t be launched until the end of October, at least – there is another Shuttle launch in the first week of November, so NASA will get stroppy if this is impacted upon.

Another cosmonaut, Yurii Lonchakov, will occupy the third seat – he made his first flight on STS-100, and this will be his first Soyuz flight. He was born in 1965 – 5 years older than I – and is blond and rather cute, but is, unfortunately, married and has a child. At my age, most guys of my generation – the halfway-decent ones – are married off, and only the dregs are left. I really, really hate married people and refuse to associate with them. :-(

The Bali tragedy continues to dominate headlines here. I think around 22 Australians are confirmed dead, 25 are still missing, and 114 are unaccounted for. Other nationalities – mostly Indonesians – perished too. Heather and her family used to holiday in Bali, but I don’t think they’ll be going there for a while, if ever. The terrorist act is being called “Australia’s September 11” and so on.

~ Ended 3:27 p.m.

Sunday 20/10

Hired the video Behind Enemy Lines last week and watched it. This movie was released last year and is about a U.S. Navy F/A-18 carrier pilot called Chris Burnett who is shot down while on a reconnaissance mission over Bosnia (he is the navigator in a 2-seat Hornet) and has to evade some dastardly Serb soldiers after they shoot his pilot. After much running about the countryside, he is eventually rescued by U.S. Marines. A Serb soldier with a scowl, a bad haircut and a sniper’s rifle spends much of the movie chasing him (he is the one who shoots Chris’s pilot buddy) and gets his just desserts in the end when Chris confronts him in a shoot-out and ventilates him with a few bullets. The movie is the usual flag-waving patriotic American nonsense, and I don’t think it would be too popular in Serbia. It wasn’t too bad for an afternoon’s mindless entertainment and Chris, played by Owen Wilson, was a fairly amiable character. At least it didn’t have any tedious romantic scenes – no main female characters at all, for that matter.

I wish I could write my own military aviation thriller about the Russian Air Force, but I know next-to-nothing about it! I have a character in mind and a couple of vague plots, but that’s it. I wish I could write something to counter American military novels by authors such as Dale Brown, who makes the Russians the bad guys in most of his novels (I’ve only read a couple, and it’s a struggle to get through them because I get so irritated at his viewpoint). I found an aviation forum where most of the people are into Russian aviation and such, but I suspect they are mostly teenage boys! Problem with the Internet is that you have no idea how genuine people are – they can pretend to be anyone, and you can’t verify if they are who they say they are.

~ Ended 4:19 p.m.

Friday 25/10

Those pesky Chechen rebels are back in the headlines again, having taken around 700 people hostage in a Moscow theatre, as described in The Age:

Guerrilla threat to kill Moscow hostages

By Clara Ferreira-Marques, Moscow
October 25 2002

Chechen separatist guerrillas were holding up to 700 Moscow theatregoers hostage last night, threatening to shoot them or blow up the building unless Russia pulled its troops out of their homeland.

The group of about 40, including masked women with explosives strapped to their bodies, burst into the theatre on Wednesday evening firing shots in the air and shouting “Stop the war in Chechnya”.

They demanded that Russia pull its troops out of their Muslim homeland. The stand-off presented Vladimir Putin – who called off a foreign trip to tackle the crisis – with his sternest test since becoming President more than two years ago.

The President has taken an uncompromising stand on the conflict in Chechnya on Russia’s southern fringes, where the Kremlin has twice launched military pushes to crush separatists.

The hostages included a number of Westerners, possibly including two Australians.

Foreign Minister Alexander Downer said an Australian academic was among those trapped in the theatre. Russian authorities have told embassy officials in Moscow that a second Australian citizen might also be inside. “Officers from the Australian embassy in Moscow are now at the theatre,” Mr. Downer said. “They are endeavouring to help get the Australians out of the theatre.

“We have no idea how difficult or easy that will be. We’re very concerned about their safety and our embassy is doing everything it can to help get them released.”

Mr. Downer would not reveal the academic’s name. He could not confirm if there was a second Australian in the theatre.

Last night the guerrillas refused to free the Western hostages, despite an earlier agreement, after diplomats summoned to witness the release arrived too late.

The group immediately released up to 20 children from the audience as well as some Muslims, and groups of other hostages were released at intervals throughout the night.

Four mediators bearing a white flag entered the building seeking to end the stand-off.

A Russian official said the Chechens described themselves as a suicide death squad, or “smertniki”. Police said there were up to 700 people still in the theatre where they had been watching a hit musical.

One hostage, reached on her mobile telephone inside, appealed for the international community to intervene. She said the rebels had fixed explosives in passageways, on seats and even to hostages.

“A huge amount of explosives have been laid through the place,” child heart specialist Maria Shkolnikova said.

“We need the international community to get involved in this situation and we need journalists to take part in this with no arms.”

The Chechen news website www.kavkaz.org reported what it said was a statement by the attackers’ commander, Movsar Barayev: “There’s more than 1000 people here. No one will get out of here alive and they’ll die with us if there’s any attempt to storm the building.”

He called on Mr. Putin to stop the war and pull his troops out of Chechnya. Some nine hours after the drama began, reporters heard brief gunfire coming from the direction of the theatre. There was no immediate explanation, but Interfax news agency quoted an unnamed hostage in the theatre as saying that some of the rebels had fired from a side door. “They have grenades and they have guns,” Moscow police spokesman Valery Gribakin said.

Since 1994 Russia has fought on and off to quell the revolt that costs lives daily among Russian troops and civilians.

As two prominent figures in Moscow’s Chechen community began efforts to set up negotiations, officials denied speculation that security forces would try to take the building by storm.

Mr. Putin’s decision as prime minister in October, 1999, to order troops back into Chechnya helped catapult the political novice into the Kremlin. His firm handling, backed by tough, public fighting talk, made him the country’s most trusted politician.

He won immediate sympathy for his plight from Washington and other Western powers with whom he has grown close since he threw Moscow’s backing behind the global war on terrorism following last year’s September 11 attacks. Western criticism of Moscow’s hard line in Chechnya – including widespread allegations of human rights abuses – has been muted since September 11. The White House condemned the latest hostage seizure and offered help if needed.

– Reuters, AAP

Perhaps they could feed in some sort of sleeping gas through the ventilation shafts? Do it at night when most hostages are asleep, and so less likely to arouse suspicion. Although it wouldn’t work if the rebels thought of that possibility and brought along gas masks. The Al-Qaeda group funds terrorist Chechen rebels. Instead of his obsession with Iraq, President Bush and leaders of other countries should create a special taskforce to eradicate terrorism – ruthlessly erase terrorists from the face of the Earth. They need to be dealt with severely; never mind any bleating about human rights. They have forsaken any rights they might have had; they are vermin and must be eliminated.

Speaking of vermin, I noticed yet another graffiti attack on the way into the city – graffiti all over Bentleigh station and others further up the line by someone signing himself as “Macho”. More like “Idiot”. The government should totally ban the sale of spray paint cans, and introduce a curfew for those under, say, 25, between 11 p.m. and 5 p.m. The parents of these louts should be made to pay for damages, or the boys spend a little time in prison. No one seems to be doing anything to combat these cretins who roam at night; the police are ineffectual. I wish someone would organize some vigilante patrols. It is so frustrating.

You know, as a teenager I had this fantasy going about defecting to the USSR – I can’t recall it clearly now, but it involved going to their Canberra embassy! Another was to steal an F/A-18 Hornet and fly it to the USSR! (Never mind that I’d not a clue how to fly.) I had some vague image of them training me as a spy/terrorist/or whatever, and then I’d come back and wreak revenge upon certain school classmates who tormented me. Considering the dismal way my life has turned out, I wouldn’t have been much worse off if I had tried it!

~ Ended 4:14 p.m.

Saturday 26/10

Today marks one year since I quit the Job From Hell. That puts me in the “long-term unemployed” (and unemployable) category.

The siege of a Moscow theatre by Chechen terrorists has been ended, it was reported on this evening’s news. Shots and explosions were heard inside the building, so Russian special forces decided then to storm it. Most of the terrorists were killed in the resulting firefight, though some might have escaped with the hostages (10 of whom were killed). At least the government did not concede to the terrorists’ demands – it would only embolden the terrorists to try further such acts. They should all be summarily shot. There will probably be more such terrorist acts in the future, though, unfortunately. Two Australians were amongst the hostages, though no foreigners were reported killed.

The dreaded Daylight Savings begins tomorrow, so that means getting up an hour earlier (groan).

~ Ended 6:15 p.m.

Monday 28/10

The ending of the siege killed many more people than was first reported – at least 118 – poisoned by some sort of nerve anesthetic gas the special forces police used. Only two were apparently killed by the terrorists. It’s more people dead than were killed in the Kursk submarine disaster (118), or the 114 killed when a Mi-26 helicopter was downed by Chechen rebels in August. When disasters happen in Russia, they seem to happen on a large scale (people killed in the hundreds). But they still shouldn’t give in to terrorists.

My 32nd birthday is coming up the Saturday after next. Not something I’m looking forward to.

~ Ended 6:26 p.m. (UTC +11)

Wednesday 30/10

Michele took Josiah last week to the Melbourne IMAX cinema to see Space Station 3D. They apparently enjoyed it (I’ve not spoken to her; she told my parents this when she phoned them).

The next Expedition Crew’s (Expedition 6) Press Kit has been put up on the NASA site. And what a boring lot they are. There is only one EVA – an EVA using the American EMU spacesuit. No Russian Orlan EVAs. There is just one Russian cosmonaut, who sounds rather dull, as do the two Americans – anonymous astronauts. Dull middle-aged sorts.

Found another Space Mafia quote, this from an article in The Weekend Australian Magazine, April 6-7:

… Some call [the ISS] a massive ego trip on the part of the Americans, who were furious that the Russians had the first space station, Mir.

– Caroline Green, “Last in space”

Well, I guess they’re happy now.

The Soyuz TMA-1 flight is due to be launched – today, I think, or tomorrow.

~ Ended 7:57 a.m.

November

Saturday 2/11

One week till my 32nd birthday – not something I’m looking forward to.

The Russian Soyuz TMA-1 mission launched on Wednesday 30/10, and docked early Friday, yesterday.

~ Ended 1:36 p.m.

Tuesday 5/11

Melbourne Cup day. The media seems to drag out the same tired old phrases every year to describe it, as they do Christmas.

The ISS has been occupied for 2 years now. The next Shuttle mission is due to launch next week. They will bring up the next crew, Expedition 6, a rather bland bunch. No Russian Orlan EVAs for the next mission; no Russian components to be brought up. NASA is getting all the attention and glory.

Dale Brown is an American writer of aviation military thrillers whom I’ve mentioned before some months ago. I’m reading one of his early novels, Chains of Command (1993). He really has it in for the Russians – they are the bad guys in nearly all of his novels. He always finds some way to disparage them, or make them the villains. (I’ve only read a couple of his novels, admittedly – I get too irritated at his viewpoint.) In this novel the dastardly Russians attack the Ukraine (who are the “good guys”). America of course steps in to help the poor-but-plucky Ukrainians against the big bad Russian military. President Clinton also comes in for a pasting – although not named, he and his wife are portrayed very unflatteringly. The author obviously was not in favor of their policies! I really don’t know how I felt about him – he was charismatic enough, but he certainly couldn’t restrain himself around pretty young women!

Ukraine is right next to Russia and the two populations are almost identical – both Slavic peoples – though they have distinctive cultures and languages. I think they are analogous to the Scottish and English races – both of these live on the same island, but have (or had) different cultures and dialects. Scotland was subject to England’s rule for centuries, but they now have their own Parliament and some want complete independence. Ukraine similarly became independent after the fall of Communism.

My family ancestry is both English and Scottish. On Gran’s side, mostly emmigrants from Scotland (there’s Colquhouns, McLeans and Cormacks), and on Dad’s side mostly English (Enderby is an old English surname) and some Irish (McHale is an Irish surname). That about covers most of Great Britain (except for Wales)! I wish I had someone “exotic” in my ancestry (i.e. from another nationality), but they all seem to be plain old Anglo-Saxon – unless there’s some ancient Romans and Vikings in the genes from a couple of thousand years ago! In some of my photos from 10 years ago – when I was anorexic, and the only time I was thin enough to appear attractive – I looked (I thought) vaguely Italian, with a longish nose and dark hair and eyes. Now, I just look overweight and plain.

~ Ended 7:19 p.m.

Friday 8/11

My last day of being 31. 20 years ago, in 1982, I was about to turn 12. I really wish I could go back there.

Went out for lunch with Bill and Pam Waters at the Food Star restaurant in Frankston yesterday, which my parents do about once a month. They are the only other people I see – I have absolutely no social life. I am a semi-recluse, too fearful of the outside world to try anything new now.

Michele mailed me a card – along with a couple of small religious pamphlets! I think they still have hopes of converting me …

Saw the ISS last night for the first time in a while: S to SSE, 22° at 10:09 PM, with a golden sickle Moon hanging in the west. The Soyuz crew are still there, but will be departing at the end of this week. They have a frantic schedule, mostly consisting of rather obscure science and medical experiments (yawn).

A really depressing book I have read – one which reflects my own mood – is Zinky Boys by Svetlana Alexievich, published in 1992. It’s a collection of stories told by various people – soldiers and so forth – who served in the Afghanistan War (the title refers to the zinc coffins the dead were shipped home in). This war was the Soviet Union’s version of the Americans’ Vietnam war, but was even more devastating – they were totally defeated and humiliated, and the war contributed to the collapse of Communism.

As everyone knows now, the Afghan mujahedin were funded by the CIA, and Special Forces operatives from America and Britain went in to aid them. Osama bin Laden was one of the mujahedin …

The Afghans did rather unpleasant things to their captives, like skinning them alive, or chopping off all four limbs then sending home the person – or head and torso – still alive, to live the rest of their lives like that.

A movie I saw twice in the cinema around 1986 was Rambo III – I dragged along a friend, Charmaine, to see it, then my cousin Heather. The title character, John Rambo (a tormented Vietnam veteran) – portrayed by an over-muscled, steroid-using Sylvester Stallone – goes off to Afghanistan to take on those nasty Soviets single-handed. I loved the movie then, but now, of course, it seems incredibly silly! It was a typical movie of the era – of Ronald Reagan’s “Evil Empire”. I think it appealed to me because I was teased or bullied at school, and I got vicarious pleasure at watching Rambo take on the enemy – as I secretly fantasized about doing to my tormentors. The Soviet soldiers in the movie were thoroughly unlikeable villains, and it didn’t really register to me as to who they were. I have no memory of reading about the war in the newspapers – indeed, I seem to have poor recollection of any world events in the 1980s, perhaps because I was involved with my own teenage problems .

I do remember the various terrorist hijacks and so forth – a favorite fantasy from around 1986 to 1988 was becoming a terrorist so I could, you guessed it, wreak bloody revenge upon my classmates. I did lots of violent artwork – which would undoubtedly have caused much concern to anyone who saw it – but I was (and am) too passive to carry out such acts! (Not to mention that I’ve not a clue how to use a gun, etc.) But they provided some vicarious satisfaction – I had no way of retaliating. Girls can be extremely cruel to those they perceive as “different”. I later destroyed these drawings, and the diary I kept for several years during the 1980s. It’s something I later regretted at times, but perhaps it’s best if no one else is privy to my inner life. Journals I kept during the 1990s also were later destroyed. I guess I’ll end up erasing this electronic one, too!

The 1980s seem like ancient history now.

Thirty-two tomorrow. I won’t be doing anything, as usual – I’ve no friends to go out with. I seem to have been living in this limbo for an eternity now – 12 years or so. I get no enjoyment out of life – I’ve been depressed for so many years that my capacity for enjoyment has been dulled; I am detached from everything.

~ Ended 7:45 p.m.

Sunday 10/11

I am 32 now. Was depressed yesterday, so I did nothing and saw no one. I really dislike birthdays now. Haven’t celebrated any for years, perhaps not since I was a teenager – not had any parties since I was a child.

The Soyuz TMA crew are now back on Earth after a rather dull mission. All they did was lots of obscure experiments. They looked rather glum in their pre-launch Energiya photos.

All attention is now on STS-113, a rather ominous number. Expedition 6 will come up, and the first port truss segment will be installed after 3 EVAs. I saw in a magazine article that four of the eight bolts which hold the Shuttle down when its engines are ignited did not detonate when commanded to during the STS-112 launch. I am not sure of the details. If all 8 bolts did not separate, the Shuttle would become (in the words of some NASA person quoted in the article) a “suicide ship”. The tremendous force of the engines would tear the Shuttle apart on the launch pad, and the crew inside would have no time to escape.

Space writer James Oberg, whom I have mentioned before in my diaries, has his own website (www.jamesoberg.com). He is a big critic of the Russian space program – has been following it for decades – and is a sort of “Crusader for Truth,” on a mission to expose lies and cover-ups. A reviewer of his book Star-Crossed Orbits described him as “rather too pleased with his role as the unsparing truth-teller picking his way through a minefield of lies and deception.” He is obviously knowledgeable about his subject, and Star-Crossed Orbits is an informative read, but his pedantic nitpicking gets a tad irritating. He seems to feel that the Russians have the advantage in their partnership with NASA. He is a former NASA engineer, so it’s obvious where his loyalties lie (though he can be critical of NASA, too). He talks of all the friends he has in the Russian space industry, yet is savagely critic al of their way of doing things, regarding many in the industry (particularly at management level) as cunning and deceitful. Here’s an article of his on this topic:

Well, bully for the Russians if they do. Anything that can break NASA’s – and America’s – dominance in space is welcome. The Americans seem to assume that they have a mandate to dominate Earth and space. Bugger that!

I think this mentality evolved from America’s role in World War 2, where their intervention turned the course of the war. They helped rebuild Europe through the Marshall Plan, then their role as protector of the Western world emerged in response to the rise of Communism. That threat vanished in the early 1990s, leaving America as the sole superpower, a country more dominant in world affairs than any other previous empire in history. A power that, despite their benevolent appearance, they wield ruthlessly and will not give up without a fight. They will be dominant for a long time yet.

Back to space for a moment. I’ve noticed how many movies and books about NASA in recent years feature them stepping in to fix up the Russians’ messes. Space Cowboys saw Clint Eastwood and his geriatric astronaut crew go charging into orbit to disable a rogue Soviet-era satellite which the Russians couldn’t fix themselves. In Armageddon, the shuttle crew have to dock with a “Russian space station” enroute to the incoming asteroid; the station, obviously based on Mir, is a decrepit old wreck which gets accidentally blown up (though the sole cosmonaut on board is rescued, at least). A TV series called The Cape that was screened here a couple of years ago had a couple of episodes that involved the Mir space station; here’s the synopses from the website:

18th Episode: “Mir, Mir Off The Wall: Part One”

Aired week of Apr 28, 1997

Tamara readies for her mission aboard Mir, but a prolonged and suspicious break in communication with the space station causes concern at NASA.

Plot: As Tamara returns to NASA after four months of training in Star City, Russia and readies herself to join cosmonauts on the Mir space station, a communication glitch cuts off any contact with Mir. Bull senses the problem may be more than a technical glitch, since the usually upbeat and chatty Cosmonaut Mikoyan seemed tense and abrupt in the last transmission received from Mir.

Momentary panic sets in when Riles, who is stationed in Star City as the NASA Operations liaison for the mission, reports that Soyuz – the Cosmonauts’ life raft – has been launched and is approaching Earth at an alarmingly dangerous velocity. Fortunately it is discovered to be unmanned. The NASA mission to Mir continues on schedule despite prolonged loss of contact with the station. Bull, Reggie and Tamara are close to Mir and cannot make short-range contact, so they are forced to do an automated docking. Tension rises since the movement of Atlantis docking still does not get a rise out of the cosmonauts. Placing himself at risk before his crew, Bull volunteers to board Mir and is shocked by what he finds.

Meanwhile, Tamara’s relationship with her husband is still on rocky ground. A frustrating game of phone tag ensues after Tamara returns from her Russian training trip. She and Alan cannot seem to connect and she is about to embark on a mission that will put her on the Mir station for months without a communication link home. And Zeke stops answering his phone, causing concern among his former co-workers. Bull pays him a visit which momentarily gives Zeke false hope of getting back into the space program.

19th (and final) Episode: “Mir Mir Off The Wall: Part Two”

Aired week of May 5, 1997

Plot: (Synopses by Bruce Sebring): The Atlantis is in big trouble. Damaged in a collision with the Russian Space Station Mir, it cannot return to Earth. With several tiles missing from its belly, Atlantis will surely burn up if it re-enters the atmosphere. Unable to re-dock with the Russian space station Mir, Atlantis’ crew of five led by Chief Astronaut Bull Eckert are stranded in space.

At the Kennedy Space Center the Columbia is being turned around for an emergency rescue mission. The crew is being hurriedly assembled and will be led by veteran astronaut Jack Riles (“Uhhhh, Rogerrr that”).

A nationwide search is underway for Zeke Beaumont, who was recently released from the astronaut training program due to budget cuts. Beaumont is considered to be the best RMS operator in or out of the astronaut corps. On his first space flight he assisted in the capture of a runaway Russian nuclear satellite and rescued Jack Riles as he accidentally floated away in space. Zeke Beaumont hears of the efforts to locate him, and races back to Kennedy Space Center. The crew is assembled and the Columbia launch goes smoothly, and in record time.

Columbia joins Atlantis in orbit, the first rendezvous of separately launched manned American spacecraft since Gemini 6 and 7 in the early 60’s! Astronauts D.B. Woods and Tamara St. James perform an EVA to repair the damaged belly of Atlantis. New heat resistant tiles are bonded into place. The crews’ fingers crossed, the Atlantis de-orbits and lands at the Kennedy Space Center. Columbia follows the Atlantis down and lands on the same runway for the first dual landing in the history of the space program.

Another American TV series called Astronauts I mentioned in my 29/6/2002 entry, and I found a description of it though NASA Watch.

That’s just a selection, but it’s indicative of the Americans’ condescending attitudes towards the Russian space program (i.e. clunky and outdated). Well, let’s see NASA keep a space station in orbit for 10 years beyond its use-by date! And let’s not mention Challenger … or that the oldest space shuttle, Columbia, is over 20 years old.

~ Ended 4:36 p.m.

Friday 15/11

I went to see a movie at Southland last Tuesday: K-19: The Widowmaker. This movie, starring Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson, is based on a true story from 1961 about a trouble-plagued Soviet submarine on its first mission. Not far off the east coast of the USA, its nuclear reactor has a coolant leak and some of the hapless crewmen have to go in and weld the leak shut – they have no radiation suits as biohazard suits were accidentally packed instead. It got rather gruesome after that. Several suffer radiation poisoning (and later die), and the sub barely makes it back to Russia, towed by another. The Hollywood movie – directed by a woman, Kathryn Bigelow – was quite good for its genre, and without the usual Soviet-bashing you might expect. The actors all spoke English with (faked) Russian accents, which was a bit disconcerting at first! Everything else looked authentic.

~ Ended 6:56 p.m.

Monday 25/11

STS-113 finally lifted off yesterday after numerous delays, delivering the next Expedition Crew for a dull mission. Most of the Expedition Crews so far have consisted of dull married middle-aged types. About all the manned space program does now is bore people to death!

~ Ended 7:07 p.m.

Tuesday 26/11

A wet and soggy day, with some heavy rain – something we’ve not had in a long time. Water restrictions were introduced at the beginning of November for the first time in 20 years – reservoirs are only around half-full. A drought’s been going on for a few years. The rain really poured down for a few minutes this morning – unfortunately, when I was walking back from Southland.

The space shuttle Endeavour has docked to the ISS, and they are doing all the usual stuff. There are 3 U.S. spacewalks scheduled; the first port-side Truss segment is to be installed. The Russian space program is very much overshadowed.

An article at New Scientist noted that one astronaut had been taken off the flight for health reasons:

Replacement ISS crew prepares to dock

Will Knight, 16:55 25 November 02

Space shuttle Endeavour will finally dock with the International Space Station (ISS) at 2126 GMT on Monday, twelve days behind schedule. The original launch date of 11 November was postponed when an oxygen leak was detected on a supply line connected to the shuttle’s cabin. The shuttle’s robot was arm was also accidentally damaged during repairs to the oxygen line but was certified ready for flight last week. Poor weather then delayed the launch further, until Saturday evening local time.

The shuttle is carrying a four-tonne section of truss that spacewalking astronauts will attach to the outside of the station. The truss will eventually support a solar array 100 metres long.

A replacement crew of three, known as Expedition Six, will also take over from the station’s current inhabitants. The new team will stay at the outpost until March 2003.

Health risk

But NASA has revealed that one of the original Expedition Six astronauts was removed from the mission in July, because of cumulative radiation exposure.

Don Thomas was withdrawn following a routine medical test. He has made four shuttle flights and spent a total of 43 days in space, far fewer than many other astronauts and cosmonauts.

But NASA is refusing to disclose further details, citing Thomas’ right to medical privacy.

Astronauts are exposed to increased levels of radiation outside the Earth’s protective magnetic field. A study released in October showed that the radiation shields attached to the ISS do not protect the station’s inhabitants to the extent NASA had hoped.

The report found that astronauts inside the ISS are exposed to same amount of radiation in one day as they would experience from natural radiation sources on Earth in over a year.

This means those who visit the ISS experience a five percent increased risk of radiation-related disease.

So, if you are up in orbit for, say, 160 days, you’ll have absorbed 160 years’ worth of radiation!

Another article at the same site notes that since April 2001, no shuttle has launched on schedule due to various delays – technical problems, weather, etc.

I wish I could start my own small website, spacemafia.com, featuring all my irate opinions about NASA that I’ve expressed in here. Or perhaps keep a “weblog,” though I couldn’t imagine who would want to read my rantings. It’s frustrating not being able to talk to anyone about all these topics, though. About all my parents talk about is the Church (yawn). Michele is wrapped up in motherhood, marriage, and being a pastor’s wife – she’s gone all domestic. What a dull family I have. I really wish I had been born somwhere else – as someone else. I hate this dull, grey existence, and the small-minded people I encounter.

~ Ended 4:20 p.m.

December

Tuesday 3/12

Into the last month of the year, and the stores are all decked out for Christmas (spotted decorations for sale in the supermarkets as early as September). I hate the whole hypocritical business now – stupid stories in the media about Santa Claus, and blatherings about peace and goodwill – as if it’s the only time of year people can be bothered with it! It’s all about consumerism, nothing else. A consumerist/capitalist society is a bleak and empty one – especially if you’ve got no money to spend! No one, unfortunately, has come up with a workable alternative.

The Space Shuttle STS-113 has undocked from the ISS after another successful mission. Ho-hum. Expedition 6 are now on the ISS for their stay until March. There’ll be no Shuttle or Soyuz dockings during that period.

Another doom-and-gloom article from James Oberg (see last month’s journal – 10/11/2002) concerning the Russian space program:

Will be interesting to see how things turn out. Considering all the other problems Russia has, it’s not surprising they have little money for space – something Mr. Oberg fails to mention. He’s almost obsessively critical – he has a real “bee in his bonnet” on this topic. There’ll be a lot of criticism from various Americans about NASA being so dependent upon the Russians to operate the ISS – Russia is contracted to supply Soyuz vehicles until 2006. It’s about the only leverage the Russians have over NASA! If something went wrong with the Shuttle, then the American manned space program would be paralyzed for a while.

I really wish I had someone to talk to about various issues. Someone who isn’t my parents. I have become so trapped and isolated these last few years and I don’t know how to break free – I am too fearful of the outside world, now.

I vaguely considered joining the military (air force) at intervals over the years, but I am at their age limit – I think it’s 32. I should have joined 10 years ago – I certainly wouldn’t be any worse off than I am now. But I don’t know if I would have coped, given my difficult personality. I would have liked having order and routine, and knowing my job and place – the military lifestyle would suit me in that respect. But it’s the human aspect I can’t cope with – socializing with others. I dread the thought of being stuck with a bunch of women – bitchiness multiplied! It was bad enough at school. Boys can certainly torment and bully each other, but their method is more physical. Girls tend to be more cunning and bully with words, which is in some ways worse – if you are no good with snappy replies then you feel frustrated and powerless. I certainly felt that way at school – I had no way of striking back at my tormentors, and I had a lot of fantasies about shooting them! It would be immensely satisfying to make someone who tormented you beg for mercy – before shooting them.

Bullying is endemic in the Russian Army, as mentioned in this article from The Age:

Another shooting attack shakes military

By Sergei Venyavsky
December 1 2002, Russia

A Russian soldier under the influence of drugs opened fire on fellow servicemen, killing at least eight of them and wounding three others – the latest in a string of shootings in the nation’s demoralised military.

The soldier, identified as Denis Solovyov, fired his Kalashnikov assault rifle at a tent where his 11 comrades were resting while patrolling Russia’s border with Georgia in the Caucasus Mountains.

Lieutenant-Colonel Yurii Kolodkin said that a preliminary investigation indicated that Solovyov was in a state of narcotic intoxication.

Other officials, who asked not be named, said that Solovyov might have eaten hallucinogenic mushrooms before the shooting occurred. Hallucinogenic mushrooms and grasses grow in the area.

Shootings, desertions and suicides have plagued the Russian military, where discipline and low morale are serious problems.

In a similar shooting in August, two Russian border guards killed eight fellow servicemen who were asleep while on patrol in a different sector of the border with Georgia.

When apprehended after a massive four-day manhunt, the guards said they had killed their comrades to avenge hazing. Vicious hazing of young conscripts by older soldiers has become an endemic problem.

One recent desertion topped national news in September because of its scandalous scale: 54 soldiers left their unit in southern Russia and marched nearly 60 kilometres to the city of Volgograd to protest about beatings by their officers. Yesterday the Interfax-Military News Agency reported that a Russian border guard had gone missing on another section of the Georgian border, along with his Kalashnikov rifle and 120 rounds of ammunition. He was found later in a neighbouring district and detained.

– AP

This hazing, called “dedovshschina,” is endemic, and has been going on forever. I guess it’s been taking place in most of the world’s militaries since time immemorial. Bullying is a trait that’s unfortunately embedded in human nature, and all the anti-bullying programs in the world (such as various initiatives in schools) will never eliminate it entirely. The Russian Army still uses conscripts, a system mostly discontinued in Western armed forces.

One activity I would love to try is parachuting – just jumping out of an airplane with a parachute, nothing fancy. Unfortunately, like too much else, it’s expensive.

~ Ended 4:11 p.m.

Wednesday 4/12

There was a total solar eclipse not long ago over Ceduna, South Australia, with totality at 8:03 p.m. The last total eclipse over Australia was on 23 October, 1976; the shadow passed over Melbourne. I remember that I was at Gran’s home with Mum and Michele, and I was terrified that I would go blind if I so much as looked outside! Day turning to night was quite eerie – it becomes noticeably colder. I wonder if they could see the Moon’s shadow sweep across the Earth from the ISS – if they were in the right position during their orbit.

~ Ended 8:27 p.m.

Wednesday 11/12

The Expedition 6 crew did manage to get a couple of photos of the Moon’s shadow on the Earth’s rim during the solar eclipse.

STS-113 landed OK last week, ho-hum. The next Shuttle mission, STS-107, will be a stand-alone mission (no ISS docking), carrying an Israeli astronaut on board – a tempting target for Palestinian/Al-Qaeda terrorists. (Each Shuttle mission is given a designated number, but sometimes a mission will be delayed or swapped around, so the numbers get out of order.) The Expedition 6 crew on board now will get one Progress cargo ship docking, but nothing else. They are only on board for 4 months – a short time compared to the marathon Russian/Soviet missions of a year or more a couple of decades ago. Sadly, that is all in the past – the Russian program is really in the doldrums now. As I noted, NASA is getting most of the attention with its Truss attachments and many EVAs. The last Russian module to dock was Pirs, late last year. No new Russian modules this year. The next Russian module to be added is an updated version of the FGB, Zarya, but who knows when that will be. A few months ago I mentioned that article in the October 1986 issue of National Geographic: “Soviets in space: are they ahead?”. I found a copy in a Bentleigh op shop. It’s full of details of the ambitious Soviet space programs on the go then, including the Buran and Mir projects.

Once the Soviets accumulate five years or so of success in Mir, they’ll feel comfortable moving on to Mars. We could see three or four Mirs and modules in tandem, manned by a crew of six who work and sleep in shifts.

Another article about American world dominance:

Hyperpower America rewrites the global rules

The Age, 9 December 2002

The US benefits from the new Age of Terrorism with an unchecked growth in power, writes Richard Devetak.

Signs of historical change come in different forms. Often in world politics they come with a loud bang or a crash. For example, the dropping of an atomic bomb on Hiroshima on August 6, 1945, marked the birth of the Nuclear Age. And the end of the Cold War era was marked by the crashing collapse of the Soviet Union in December, 1991. More spectacular, if less devastating, September 11, 2001, marks the beginning of an Age of Terror in the minds of many Westerners.

Sometimes, however, there is no big bang to announce the beginning of a new era. Quietly and without any fanfare a new age dawns unnoticed. Years may pass before the signs can be read clearly and the new age recognised for what it is. As the Twin Towers crashed to the ground on that fine New York morning, it was hard to resist the feeling that a new age had dawned. September 11, it is commonly said, has changed everything. The Bali bombing, stories of terrorist plots foiled or abandoned, and the war on terrorism seem to reaffirm this.

So too does the White House’s depiction of a world where transnational terrorist networks hide in the shadows provided by rogue states such as Afghanistan and Iraq. From Washington to London to Canberra there is agreement that we live in a new age defined by terrorist violence.

This new age calls for new and imaginative thinking – and with George Bush at the helm that’s what we are getting. United States Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has spoken of a “new kind of war” to combat the ever-present threat of terrorist attacks. Outlining the shape of this new kind of war, US Secretary of State Colin Powell has said it would require the grafting of a First World air force on to a Fourth World army – “B-1 bombers and guys on horses” would wage the War on Terror. And to dispel global perceptions that he seemed to think he was on the set of a Wild West movie, the President reassured the world that he would not “fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt”.

There can be little doubt that September 11 has had a significant impact on the West and how it wages its wars. However, it may not be the most profound change in world affairs. Perhaps we also live in an age that was born without a bang or a crash.

The Age of Unconstrained Superpower America dawned stealthily, but there can be little doubt of its existence today. It pre-dates but has been exacerbated by September 11. Consider the following examples of unabashed unilateralism and exceptionalism.

It is very difficult to square this behaviour with a country that claims to represent peace, civilisation and the rule of law.

In the Age of Unconstrained Superpower America, international law and public opinion are treated with contempt when they don’t coincide with American interests.

Disturbingly for those who take the rule of law seriously, the US appears increasingly unwilling to play by the rules. Like Absolutist Kings in an earlier era, the US places itself outside and above the law. We can now fully comprehend what Bush meant when he bluntly and unashamedly decreed that after September 11, “there are no rules” – not for America anyway.

World politics have indeed changed. There is now a giant chasm that separates American hyperpower from all the other countries. It has economic and military power in such abundance that it no longer needs to play by the old rules. Unlike previous hegemons, the US no longer needs the political support of others, though it gratefully accepts it when it comes – as it generally does from Canberra.

Washington and Canberra will continue to call for the rules to be rewritten in a manner that conveniently addresses their current concerns.

An elasticised notion of self-defence will be put forward to justify pre-emptive strikes, not because it is a principle that can or will be universalised, but because it suits them now.

One of the benefits America derives from the widespread acceptance that ours is an Age of Terrorism is that it draws attention away from an equally disturbing trend – the unchecked and unchallengeable growth of American power.

The balance of power mechanism that operated for centuries to prevent one country exerting undue power over all the others has quietly expired. Its passing was a sign that we have entered a new age, the Age of Unconstrained Superpower America.

Dr Richard Devetak is a lecturer in the School of Political and Social Inquiry and a member of the Terrorism Research Unit at Monash University.

Is there anything that can stop them? Probably only a well-placed asteroid!

[Sorry, I was just in a bad mood …

Found another ISS-themed story, in an American story series called “Combat,” featuring short stories written by best-selling authors such as Stephen Coonts and Dale Brown. The story in this volume is “Flight of Endeavour” by R. J. Pineiro. It features a terrorist on board the completed ISS in the near future who seizes control of a U.S. military module which contains an anti-satellite laser and powerful non-nuclear warheads which can be launched against targets on Earth. And what is the terrorist’s nationality? You guessed it … Russian. Actually, a Russian who is a Chechen sympathizer. He intends to launch the warheads against Russian targets on the ground, and it’s up to a plucky woman Shuttle commander called Diane to stop him. Which, of course, she does, after a high body count and bloodshed. It’s an okay story, but it seems that many Americans still regard the Russians as bad guys (read any of Dale Brown’s novels). In the Soviet era, Russians were sinister and powerful villains. Now the Russians are depicted as corrupt and/or incompetent in many American military thrillers I’ve read. They really need to do a lot of work on their international image – the novels reflect how the rest of the world sees them.

Another type of military story I detest are the ones written by British authors (fiction or non-fiction) – the endless books about the SAS, spy thrillers and so on. The British military and espionage types seem to be so irritatingly smug and superior, and use as much stupid slang as their American counterparts. If there’s one thing I find annoying, it’s the overuse of slang and colloquialisms.

~ Ended 8:07 p.m.

Monday 16/12

Mum and Dad drove up to Rochester today to visit Michele and Co., staying there for 2 days.

Rather cold weather all of last week; now it’s warming up again. There seems to be a cooler period for 2 weeks in early December after warm weather, then it warms up again for a hot summer. Last year it didn’t warm up, but this year it looks set to, unfortunately.

Summer solstice on 22 December (21 in the USA), when the sun reaches its highest point in the Southern Hemisphere (and lowest in the north). Days start getting shorter after that. This also affects the ISS in its orbit as the sun is at a high “Beta angle,” and it has to change its orbit attitude so its modules don’t overheat. I’m having to read up on all this stuff about X-, Y-, and Z-axes and so on, trying to understand all these concepts – not the maths (which is too daunting for me), but a general overview.

I’m still tweaking those two stories I more-or-less finished; I keep finding out new things and making corrections. It is rather frustrating! There is still so much I don’t know, and I’ve no way of finding out – no one to ask.

If only I had enough information – and a technical background – I reckon I could write a decent military aviation thriller or space novel.

Another I read, a first novel, is Shattered Bone by Chris Stewart. I bought it mainly because of the Ukrainian-Russian-related plot, and because after reading it I though I could write something like that, if only (as I said) I had the technical knowledge! The Americans – the pilot and so on – are all heroic; the Russians and Ukrainians dastardly cartoonish villains. One aspect I found particularly irritating: the appallingly soppy and unrealistic romance between the hero, Richard Ammon, and his girlfriend, Jesse:

And then an even more important event occurred in Ammon’s life. He met the most beautiful girl he had ever imagined. She was tall and slender, with shoulder-length, silky brown hair. Her dark eyes could make his legs tremble, her smile could light up the room. She had a perfect voice. Calm and measured, it was the most pleasant thing he had ever heard. It was the kind of voice one imagined cooing to a newborn baby or singing softly in the darkness of a quiet night. She was tall – almost as tall as Richard. And poised. And confident. And smart as anyone Richard Ammon had ever known.

… And that was it. From that moment, he was hopelessly in love. Never again would Richard Ammon understand a man’s fear of commitment. Never again would he nod in sympathy when close friends talked of their doubts about love. From that moment on, he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jesse Morrel.

And so on in that vein. Jesse is one of those impossibly perfect women who populate novels of this sort (mostly written by men) – obviously a male fantasy. But they make me feel hopelessly inadequate. What chance do I – plain, awkward, a loser and failure – have against women like this? And since when do people fall in love at first sight like that?

Richard Ammon, real name Carl Kostenko (since when was Carl a Ukrainian name?), is a “sleeper” agent, placed there by the Sicherheit, a sort of Ukrainian KGB (I’ve never heard of them). He was sold to the institute by his destitute father when young, and brought up by the State, trained in espionage (rather like the “space orphans” in Cosmonaut – see my 17/5/2002 entry). He was then given false papers and implanted in the USA, waiting to be activated as he led a seemingly normal life, joining the U.S. Air Force as an F-16 pilot. The author can’t resist inserting his patriotic American sentiments. Americans believe their nation to be the best on Earth – and take great offense if contradicted – and authors of these sorts of books make that very clear. It doesn’t say much for the pilot’s loyalty to the country he was born in, though.

I didn’t think the book was that well-written; it needed better editing. But it’s an okay read to pass the time.

~ Ended 6:39 p.m.

Friday 27/12

A quiet Christmas, just lunch at home with Mum and Dad like last year. Compared to even 10 years ago, Christmas Day has become depressingly truncated. Mum gave me some opal earrings, a nightie, eyeshadow and some money. I could only give her a couple of bars of perfumed soap.

My savings are around $900 or so. I am living off my parents’ (Mum’s) welfare. I have been a recluse for over a year. Every time I go into the city, I realize how ill-prepared I am to cope with the harsh real world out there. It is a terrifying place, now.

I’m still tweaking those two stories – even having to rewrite one – as I keep finding out new information (though not nearly enough). It is frustrating!

I have finally made a much-overdue appointment with a dentist in Southland (who I haven’t been to before). I’ve not been near one for many years! I have a build-up of hardened tartar on my lower two front teeth, and there is an unpleasant smell. It will cost at least $60 to have them cleaned. If I wanted to use a dentist in the public system, I would have a 2- or 3-year wait, Mum said (she overheard someone saying this). What do they expect poor people to do – just let their teeth fall out? If you are poor in this society your health will suffer.

The next The Lord of the Rings sequel, The Two Towers, opened yesterday. It is a marathon 3½ hours long, but has got reasonably good reviews. Might go to see it.

Went to Chadstone with Mum – we go a bit later as the Borders bookshop, annoyingly, started opening at 10 a.m. a couple of months ago, rather than the more convenient 9 a.m. It has a huge range of books. But I am increasingly frustrated in finding anything I like. There is little in science fiction that interests me anymore – it is overwhelmingly American-dominated (with the occasional English or Australian getting a look in). I am so utterly bored with the American viewpoint, their way of looking at things. TV is the same – the majority of programs are imported American shows. They colonized Australia long ago, and many other countries. They do this not by invasion, for the most part, but more stealthily, by seduction – enticing people (especially young people) with their pop culture, movies and dazzling array of consumer goods. It overwhelms native cultures, which have little hope of standing up to the onslaught, unless they are particularly determined.

~ Ended 8:26 p.m.