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Suzy McHale’s Journal: 2010

January

Friday 1/1: Illegal fireworks

A thunderstorm passed over after 8:30 p.m. last night with much lightning and rain, which was pleasant after the day’s awful heat. I could not care less about fireworks; Nature can create a better show than anything humans can do! There has also been the usual injuries from foolish people letting off illegal fireworks (which is why they are illegal!). I don’t understand the obsession with making loud noises that many people have, and animals hate it. A few comments from the Herald-Sun:

Scott of Upwey posted at 9:48 p.m. December 31, 2009: Sitting here in Upwey, no fireworks display could outshine mother nature. The lightning, thunder and the cool rain is what I wanted and I have it.

Krishina of Melbourne posted at 8:40 a.m. today: As i have to work today on New Years, I enjoyed a beautiful display Mother Nature put on outside my home. AS i layed on my bed watching the lightning and storms roll by. I fell asleep by 1am due to the rain and storms that made me sleepy. I hope it happens again for 2011. Go Mother Nature!

Casper of Ouyen posted at 9:02 a.m. today: I had the best fireworks display thanks to good old mother nature & there is nothing like sitting out the back on a warm evening & watching a free light show, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.

jac of melb posted at 9:34 a.m. today: As much as I love a good fireworks display I always feel sorry for the poor animals at the Melb zoo. A good friend (and zookeeper) told me they struggle to keep their large animals quiet and safe from hurting themselves. Unfortunately lots of small animals are killed as they crash about in their enclosures. I’d hate to think what happens at Taronga zoo during Sydney’s fireworks. Sort of puts a dampener on it for me.

Sunday 3/1: Omni magazine remembered; Inverloch holiday memories

“In 2010, We Will Live on the Moon,” Slate.com, 31/12. On Omni magazine, a science magazine that was popular in the 1970s and 1980s. My first exposure to it (as noted in my 12/8/2006 entry) was at a rented holiday house near the beach in Inverloch where my family stayed for a week; an annual thing, and the family who owned it had copies of the magazine lying about. I first saw H.R. Giger’s creepy art for the Alien movie in an edition of Omni during one holiday; it remains in my memory!

Some of the short fiction included also made an impression, but I can’t recall any titles. One particularly disturbing story was about a man caught up in a massive traffic jam on a freeway; the authorities gave up any hope of breaking it up and instead air-dropped suicide pills to the trapped motorists. Then wet cement was dropped onto the cars – the authorities were simply going to pave over the motorists to make a new freeway! The story ended with the man taking the suicide pill as the cement piled up around him. Ugh! I wish I could remember the story’s title and author.

In retrospect, I enjoyed those holidays at Inverloch in the 1980s; the coastal town (about 1.5 hours east of Melbourne) was not developed then and we would rent a house that was simple but comfortable. Lots of beach walks (the beach was just across the road, a few minutes’ walk through tea-tree scrub), and the sound of the ocean waves was always audible. Popularity has spoiled it, though, as is the case for many seaside towns. Inverloch is also a rich source of dinosaur fossils (something I didn’t know then!).

Google Maps view: the house, or houses, were accessed by Ozone St. (off Surf Pde.) I think they were somewhere along Lohr Ave. but can’t recall the exact house. Looking through Street View, it hasn’t changed too much. Here is a screenshot of a Google Street View, looking west; Ozone St. is to the right (it’s brick-paved, not asphalted), the beach is over the scrub to the left.

I still have dreams of walking along the beach with its high cliffs (further west in Google Maps). Eagle’s Nest is a prominent rock formation along the Cape Paterson Inverloch Rd.

Thursday 7/1: Avatar mania

The Avatar movie has made more than $1 billion worldwide, so it has defied its critics! Fan fiction and art are multiplying, so it obviously appeals to a lot of people. I don’t feel inclined to do any myself as I have my own fantasy world and characters.

I am increasingly exasperated with Borders bookstore as they still don’t have books I want in stock, such as The Art of Avatar, despite its being out for 2 months. No other bookstores have these either.

My brother-in-law has a review: “Avatar: A spectacular feel bad movie”. It is from a religious perspective. He does get the pantheism theme wrong, though; in the movie, on the moon Pandora, the Na’vis’ connection to their world (through their neural links to a planetary consciousness) is quite real, and there aren’t any imaginary gods or goddesses. Despite those qualms he enjoyed it anyway!

I do disagree with:

To be honest I’m sick and tired of the world’s environmental gospel. “Be one with nature and all will be well.” This gospel quickly breaks down when you are sick and need to go to hospital. You don’t go to a witch doctor do you? Your home, your technology, your work, are all these evil and bad? No they are not. As I said before I’m tired of people trying to make me feel bad because my forefathers colonised Australia. God is the one who appoints the boundaries of the nations.

As the environment is still being devastated at a rapid rate, that message needs to keep being repeated! Without a healthy environment, we will cease to exist. And while our technology undoubtedly has benefited us, the consumer society built around it is sick and dysfunctional – that is one theme Avatar addressed.

The European colonization of Australia was arguably the worst environmental disaster inflicted upon it and its original inhabitants (similarly in other continents such as Africa and the Americas), and the effects are still being felt. Aboriginal people are among the most disadvantaged in Australia – a page about then at the Hunter-Gatherer Wiki gives an overview.

Saturday 9/1: Weather extremes

Satellite photo of UK apparently having a mini-ice age. Minus −45°C in parts of USA. In Melbourne it will get to +41°C on Monday. Don’t know which is worse!

Incidentally, if the Gulf Stream current were to stop, the UK (and most of Europe) would be permanently covered in ice. It is apparently weakening.

Sunday 10/1: Generation conflicts

“Gen Y @ 30: charmed, tech savvy and ready to take over,” The Age, 9/1. I really dislike the silly designations given to different generations (what do they use after they get to Z?). I found this article rather irksome as it seems my generation (X) is to be ignored or passed over:

The baby boomers love them – after all, they were the doting parents that raised them. And as the boomers’ extended reign in the workplace draws to an end, social and economic forecasters predict they are more likely to anoint gen Yers as their chosen successors over the unfortunate generation Xers who have been politely waiting their turn. They call it the Prince Charles syndrome and it’s nothing personal about generation X, just that generation Y has continued its knack of being in the right place at the right time when opportunity or prosperity arrives.

I don’t feel ready to be dismissed just yet, thanks! *Glares at Boomers and Y-ers*

My parents’ generation (they were born in the 1930s) fall into the same “in-between” category as mine; they were given the odd nickname of the Silent Generation.

I can see Mars in the early morning when I go out – an orange point of light to the north (blurry without my glasses) – so it must be catching up to Earth again.

Northern California had a 6.5 magnitude earthquake early this morning (Australia time), though it does not appear to have caused casualties. The last earthquake I felt in Australia was on 6/3/2009 (see 7/3/2009 entry), a 4.5.

Tuesday 12/1: Melbourne heatwave

An awful two days with the first heatwave of this year: up to 43.6°C yesterday, followed by the hottest night in over 100 years, at over 30°C. A mild cool change came in late-afternoon. There were the usual power blackouts (though we weren’t affected), and train cancellations and disruptions. Commiserations to be found on the “I Hate Summer” Facebook page.

Saturday 16/1: Russian website renaming

I decided to rename my “Kosmonavtka” sub-site to “RuSpace” (Russian Spaceflight) which is easier to say and remember. I wish I had not chosen the Kosmonavtka name – it makes no sense (it means “lady cosmonaut,” «Космонавтка») and sounds weird – but was stuck for a name at the time, and happened to see it in a book. Thankfully I did not choose it for my main site URL (it was an option I considered).

I found out how to do 301 redirects, so have spent the afternoon moving files. Unfortunately it means anyone who has linked to my site will have to update bookmarks or links (there are quite a lot), and search engines will have to reindex, which might take many months.

I don’t update my space site much anymore; I feel little enthusiasm for it. The manned space program itself is going nowhere slowly – or around in circles – and just seems stagnant. Perhaps if there were an international manned Mars mission my interest would rekindle, but such a mission is unlikely to happen for a long time, if ever, given the numerous problems in the world.

Thursday 21/1: Baby boomer resentment

In contrast to the awful Monday 11/1 heatwave, last Monday 18/1 a week later had lots of rain and only got to 20°C or so – a nice relief!

A letter from today’s The Age with a great retort to baby boomers (see 10/1 entry):

Poor, poor boomers

Thanks, Kevin Rudd, for asking younger generations, particularly “working families” to work harder for the older one. Let us work harder for the baby boom generation, who had free tertiary education, had their property values explode, milked the pension system dry and left the planet’s environment on the verge of disaster. It is becoming tiring being part of a generation that is held ransom for another generation’s voting population.

– Sarah and Brett Wilson, Ashwood

Tuesday 26/1: Bridge light up; wasteful government spending; neighborhood street trees

“Well-lit West Gate Bridge will be envy of Sydney, says minister,” The Age, 26/1 (also at ABC News). Of all the stupidly wasteful ways to spend taxpayers’ money, the Victorian Government has decided to add to Melbourne’s already-severe light pollution (though given how they like to waste money – such as $363 million on a proposed upgrade to the Melbourne Tennis Centre – this should not be a surprise by now). I sent a letter to The Age, but don’t know if it will get published (I seem to have fallen out of favor):

As if Melbourne isn’t light-polluted enough already, now the West Gate Bridge is to be lit up as part of some ridiculous rivalry with Sydney. This stunt is a waste of money and electricity. The stars in the sky put on a better light show than anything humans can produce – when they aren’t obscured by light pollution.

A letter from a reader outraged by the sports center spending mentioned above:

Sorry, but we prefer to fund sport events

Isn’t it strange how state governments of whatever stripe can find money to support massive sporting events, but are always strapped for cash when it comes to public transport, hospitals, the preservation of historic buildings and even the removal of graffiti from public places?

The $363 million allocated to upgrade the tennis centre (The Age, 20/1) is the most recent example of this Government pandering to the gods of sport. Other examples include the unseemly scramble to keep the costly formula 1 grand prix in Melbourne and the mooted new stadium to accommodate World Cup soccer. Bread and circuses, anyone?

– Ken Barnes, Glen Iris

The local council put out a pamphlet on the street trees in our area, so I can now know the names of many species that have eluded me. The one outside my parents’ house is an old Queensland Brush Box (Lophostemon confertus). It is not a species I like as it is rather drab, has invasive roots, and drops leaves and annoying hard little seeds all the time. I do like the deciduous trees with blossom in Spring and colorful leaves in Autumn (Ornamental Pear, Pyrus calleryana “Capital”), the Crepe Myrtle (Lagerstroemia indica) with its bright pink blossom (out now), the Melia azedarach (not mentioned) and an evergreen tree not mentioned in the pamplet that has pink-white 5-pointed flowers which come out in late December/early January – I don’t know its name (see photo below).

Unidentified street tree

Wednesday 27/1: My published letter; morning walk unpleasantness; vicious chimpanzee

The letter I sent yesterday (26/1/2010 entry) got published – but was weirdly edited for some reason! See my Published letters page.

Am feeling out-of-sorts because of some woman who passes me on my morning walk. She keeps saying “Good morning!” and I just mumble back (I really don’t feel like talking at all during exercise). Today she exclaimed indignantly (after I passed), “Don’t be so rude!” My reaction: WTF??? I’m not doing anything. If she doesn’t want to get offended, ignore me and don’t talk to me. I don’t go out of my way to bother strangers (most people I pass exercising don’t talk), and expect the same simple courtesy. It’s bad enough having to worrying about encountering drunken aggressive young males. Humans really piss me off sometimes.

One of my more morose fantasies that I indulge in is of waking up one morning and finding all other humans have vanished. I probably would not survive for long (after electricity and water cut out), but life would be peaceful and quiet in the meantime. A lot of my anxiety and stress is caused by interaction with other humans. The only activity that gives me some comfort are my creative writing and drawings.

I found an article about that unfortunate woman whose pet chimpanzee mauled her last year: “Chimp victim seeking face, hand transplant,” MSNBC.com, 25/1/2010, and earlier, “Chimp attack victim reveals face on Oprah,” 12/11/2009. Her injuries are horrific – her face and fingers are gone – and I don’t know how she copes. Chimps should not be kept as pets (as other exotic animals should’t) – being our closest relatives, they share some of our negative traits, capable of planning, treachery and targeted violence. They are among my least-favorite creatures, among with monkeys (who can also be vicious). Gorillas, however, seem to be more peaceable (as far as I know), despite their size and strength.

February

Monday 1/2: Weird dreams; solastalgia

I had some weird dreams last night; I can’t describe them adequately, only that they involved a lot of wandering around my neighborhood. Taking a Diazepam seems to induce these! I also had a lucid segment in one dream, where I came to awareness and was saying to myself something like, “I am dreaming, I can control this”. I woke up after that, though. Lucid dreams only happen to me occasionally, and spontaneously.

“Is There an Ecological Unconscious?,” NYT, 31/1. I have previously heard of the condition mentioned in this, “solastalgia” (“Clive Thompson on How the Next Victim of Climate Change Will Be Our Minds,” Wired.com, 20/12/2007).

“There’s a scholar who talks about ‘heart’s ease,’ ” Albrecht told me as we sat in his car on a cliff above the Newcastle shore, overlooking the Pacific. In the distance, just before the earth curved out of sight, 40 coal tankers were lined up single file. “People have heart’s ease when they’re on their own country. If you force them off that country, if you take them away from their land, they feel the loss of heart’s ease as a kind of vertigo, a disintegration of their whole life.” Australian aborigines, Navajos and any number of indigenous peoples have reported this sense of mournful disorientation after being displaced from their land. What Albrecht realized during his trip to the Upper Valley was that this “place pathology,” as one philosopher has called it, wasn’t limited to natives. Albrecht’s petitioners were anxious, unsettled, despairing, depressed – just as if they had been forcibly removed from the valley. Only they hadn’t; the valley changed around them.

In Albrecht’s view, the residents of the Upper Hunter were suffering not just from the strain of living in difficult conditions but also from something more fundamental: a hitherto unrecognized psychological condition. In a 2004 essay, he coined a term to describe it: “solastalgia,” a combination of the Latin word solacium (comfort) and the Greek root –algia (pain), which he defined as “the pain experienced when there is recognition that the place where one resides and that one loves is under immediate assault … a form of homesickness one gets when one is still at ‘home.’”

That precisely describes why I feel upset at the unwelcome changes in my neighborhood where I have lived all my life: the destruction of familiar modest-sized houses and gardens, replaced by huge ugly monstrosities that loom menacingly over the streets, surrounded by barren paving and a few spindly plants. Also the changes in the wider community: unending stress from overdevelopment and overcrowding, urbanization of what natural landscapes remain. I am powerless to do anything to stop this, so depression, lethargy and despair result.

Friday 5/2: Earwax cleanout

Had to go to the GP today for the “delightful” procedure of having my right ear irrigated. This seems to be becoming a regular occurrence for me! Last time was 10 July 2009; before that in April 2008 (right ear both times). The wax hadn’t solidified this time so it was easier to get out (I used ear drops for 2 days before I went). Coincidentally, someone posted at Ask MetaFilter with the same problem. It’s an annoyance but at least it can be remedied without too much bother (though the 2008 occurence needed 2 separate visits as the wax had hardened!). If only this were my only health problem! Ever since I got the ‘flu in 1997, my right ear has been not-quite-normal.

Saturday 6/2: Hard drive failure

Had another hard drive failure today (a previous one failed a few months ago, around October I think), the one with my Operating System on it. I got two BSOD on separate days in the last 2 weeks, so that apparently was a warning sign (I neglected to write down the message on the screens, but did get the below data from the Event Viewer, though I have no idea what it all means), as well as freezing up sometimes.

Event Type:       Error
Event Source:   System Error
Event Category: (102)
Event ID:       1003
Date:           1/29/2010
Time:           5:14:22 PM

Description:
Error code 100000d4, parameter1 f355b038, parameter2 0000001c,
parameter3 00000001, parameter4 80502cbc.

Data:
0000: 53 79 73 74 65 6d 20 45   System E
0008: 72 72 6f 72 20 20 45 72   rror  Er
0010: 72 6f 72 20 63 6f 64 65   ror code
0018: 20 31 30 30 30 30 30 64    100000d
0020: 34 20 20 50 61 72 61 6d   4  Param
0028: 65 74 65 72 73 20 66 33   eters f3
0030: 35 35 62 30 33 38 2c 20   55b038,
0038: 30 30 30 30 30 30 31 63   0000001c
0040: 2c 20 30 30 30 30 30 30   , 000000
0048: 30 31 2c 20 38 30 35 30   01, 8050
0050: 32 63 62 63               2cbc

Fortuately I keep my personal documents on a separate hard drive, so I replaced the failed one (Dad had another spare drive) and reinstalled Windows XP Home and all my programs in the now-familiar tedious process. A chore I hate as I seem to have a lot of programs which I need!

Today marks one year since the Black Saturday bushfires. It is not hellishly hot like last year (the only 40°C+ day so far this year was on 11 January), though it has been humid this week.

Tuesday 9/2: Computer woes

Still having computer problems! Yesterday my computer slowed down drastically so I had to turn it off, then it refused to boot past the black Windows XP screen. (I did not get a BSOD this time, though.) Dad spent much of today swapping hard drives, replacing the battery and memory cards, and everything he could think of, but the computer refused to boot past the CD prompt on every Windows CD we had, displaying the message:

BOOTMGR is missing
Press Ctrl+Alt+Del to restart

My original HD worked OK when tried on another computer, but the replacement one I was using seemed to be faulty like the original one initially was. So what it is we don’t know. (I have borrowed Dad’s computer with Windows 7 on it; I managed to get my programs installed and working.) Dad got another hard drive and installed XP on it (along with new memory) with success, so I will see how it functions when I use my own computer again.

Thursday 11/2: Still computer woes

No luck getting my computer to run again – it just keeps stubbornly displaying the “BOOTMGR is missing” message after the CD prompt, no matter what operating system was attempted to load. We are baffled. So I am using another computer with XP installed, though I don’t like it as much, as the case is smaller and rather cramped.

The weather since Monday has been unpleasantly humid. This afternoon a violent thunderstorm passed overhead, along with a heavy downpour of welcome rain; normal weather for this time of year.

Friday 12/2: Computer OK; against alien contact

Dad replaced the power supply in my computer which seemed to fix it – reinstalled Windows XP successfully this time. So I am back on it again, though with some wariness; it’s only a matter of time until something else goes wrong! I rather liked Windows 7 though it takes getting used to; XP is feeling its age now.

All the changing hard drives and reinstalling emphasizes how dependent upon my computer I am now for much of my creative output. I have not kept a handwritten journal in years; all my writings are on my computer as typing is so much easier and quicker. My creative story is entirely on my computer – 10 years ago I was still using an electric typewriter for most work. At least I didn’t have to worry about the typewriter crashing or losing data! I would find it difficult to go back to those more laborious methods, though.

I do keep my personal documents on a separate hard drive from that with my operating system and programs, and back up to an external hard drive. A computer is still a dangerously fragile storage method, though.

“Calling ET may not be a smart move, say some,” The Age, 9/2. Another alarmist article about the remote possibility of radio transmissions attracting the attention of hostile aliens. Reading some of the nonsense sent out, as described in that article, it’s likely the aliens would be scared off instead!

European Space Agency (ESA) astrophysicist Malcolm Fridlund says that in the absence of any evidence so far that extraterrestrial life exists of any kind, active SETI may well be a waste of time. Even so, he urges caution about drawing attention to ourselves. “I’m not lying awake at night worrying about the overlords of the galaxy or anything like that,” he said, “but when you don’t know of anything that’s out there, you should maybe be a little careful, you should know something about the star system first.”

Those who share his concern include the British cosmologist Stephen Hawking, who suggests “we should keep our heads low,” given any possibility of encountering a hostile, technologically superior civilisation.

"The risk posed by active SETI is real,” the prestigious British journal Nature warned in 2006, in an editorial that unleashed divisions among enthusiasts as to who had the right to be ambassador of Earth. “It is not obvious that all extraterrestrial civilisations will be benign – or that contact with even a benign one would not have serious repercussions for people here on Earth.”

As I keep saying (see 8/6/2008 entry), humanity is far more of a danger to itself and its homeworld than any aliens out there.

Monday 15/2: And more computer woes; euthanasia drug imports

My computer froze up this morning after booting, and I eventually had to do a repair from the XP disk (I was otherwise going to reinstall XP), but this time I think it was AVG Antivirus becoming corrupted for some reason. I had to download a file to remove AVG, and that seems to have solved the problem (hopefully!). I won’t install AVG again. I am trying Microsoft Security Essentials instead (which I think used to be paid for, but is now free).

“Euthanasia drug snares younger Australians,” The Age, 15/2. People are importing a drug that is illegal here for euthanasia (normally used by vets on animals). Apparently the statistics showing that some of the users are younger has caused alarm. But why should the right to exit life with dignity be restricted to those older?

He said it was difficult to know what circumstances had led to the deaths of the 27 people who died from the drug's toxicity, where coroners noted no serious illness or chronic pain, but Exit had seen increasing numbers of people simply “tired of life”.

Dr. Rodney Syme, the immediate past president of Dying With Dignity Victoria, said it was “very regrettable” that people in their 20s, 30s, and 40s had used the drug. He said he suspected these people had committed suicide for psychological reasons rather than chronic physical pain or terminal illness.

Psychological reasons can be just as valid as those physical. That being said, I think such users should be encouraged to seek counselling first. If euthanasia were to ever be legalized (which does not seem likely with current attitudes of politicians), it should be open to anyone over 18 (i.e. adults), and with the caveat that those who are physically healthy were obligated to seek counselling as a prelude. Some might see that they don’t want to die yet after all (many people who suicide for psychological reasonas really just want to escape from an intolerable situation). Only after undergoing counselling could they proceed, but still be able to opt out if they changed their mind.

Having a legal means of suicide available might conversely prevent some people from impulsively suiciding – with an assured means of death, and thus some time to think about it, they might realize they wish to live a bit longer instead.

Saturday 20/2: Noise pollution; door greeter aggravations

“An Unquiet Nation,” Newsweek, 28/1. Human-made noise pollution is drowning out the sounds of Nature and it is hard to find anywhere free of noise. The article focuses on the USA but is also applicable to other developed countries. It has become noisy in the suburb where I live – the constant roar of traffic, power tools, overflying aircraft, air conditioners (3 or 4 neighboring houses currently have those rooftop evaporative coolers running and the rumble from the damn things is near-deafening) and general human activity from an increasing population is unbearable. Noise pollution adds to stress levels and is one cause of health problems, but is little-addressed by governments.

A letter about one of my pet peeves, door greeters, from The Age, 11/2:

The other day, when visiting “Which Bank?,” I was assailed by not one but two employees, wishing me a good morning in unison. I do not want these greetings when I am thinking of important financial matters, like whether or not I can afford to eat this week. Does this make me a grumpy old woman?

– Marjorie Humm, Croydon North

I hate this detestable trend (some department stores also have door greeters) and can’t see the point of it. I am in no mood to talk to shop assistants unless I initiate the conversation, and resent feeling obliged to.

A two-part documentary, Generation XXL, screened on SBS about overweight children in the U.K. Dismaying to view! Such obesity is caused by the sedentary lifestyles led by so many urban populations, and the crappy processed food consumed. If such people could live as hunter-gatherers for a year or so they would be guaranteed to lose weight. Most infectious diseases may have been eliminated, but these have been replaced by lifestyle diseases such as obesity and diabetes.

March

Wednesday 3/3: Internet lowlife; dentist dread; singles discrimination; emotion overdose

The banal swill of anonymous postings oozing down the commentary sections of politically or celebrity oriented blogs and news sites worldwide is often crude and obscene enough to make one give up on civilization entirely.

– Roland Kelts, “Private Worlds”

“Banal swill” sums up how I often feel when browsing the Internet. There is so much mundane and stupid crap on it that I sometimes feel like withdrawing altogether. If there is one thing many news sites and blogs should do, it is disable reader comments.

Have a dentist checkup next week, which I am dreading as usual, more than I did my surgeries. There always seems to be yet another problem (despite my diligent cleaning). I am not happy with the dentist I visit, but don’t know where else I can go. It would also help if the government would include dental care with Medicare to make visits affordable, but that issue seems forever stalled.

“Singles feeling snubbed,” H-S, 24/2. One of the many issues that irk me is the obsessive focus on “families” (meaning parents with young children). Single people are usually ignored.

“This cult of sentimentalism demeans public life,” Daily Mail, 7/2. Another irritation is the excess of sentimentality and emotional displays that have become all-too- prevalent.

This general attitude has its roots in the therapy culture, which tells us that it is bad for the individual to repress emotion. That doctrine has now developed into the belief that anyone who fails to display emotion is a bad individual.

It has produced a culture in which genuine emotion, which is almost always private, is deemed not to exist, while inappropriate or vicarious emotion, or sentimentality, is mistaken for the real thing.

This has the pernicious effect not only of devaluing real feelings such as grief, but elevating histrionics such as self-pity and narcissism. Hence the obsession in our society with “self-esteem”.

One result of exchanging the stiff upper lip for the trembling lower one is that people become less able to cope with the vicissitudes of life.

That is what the octogenarian Duchess of Devonshire was getting at when she recently branded Britain as “sloppy and sentimental”. Her generation “made little of sorrow … it wasn’t the thing to bellyache”. […]

Emotional incontinence has also had the effect of turning masculinity inside out. Male characteristics that were once lauded, such as stoicism, emotional restraint and even physical courage, are now regarded as evidence of “emotional illiteracy”. Instead, the “new man” has to be caring and sharing and not afraid to burst into tears. […]

Once upon a time, stoicism, emotional restraint and a sense of privacy were English virtues that were considered essential to a civilised culture based upon reason. Which is why it is so unnerving to see British politicians, sportsmen or members of the armed forces display such loss of control.

It is especially dismaying to see authority figures indulging in such histronics; this does not inspire confidence in them.

Thursday 4/3: Australian broadband slow

A letter from today’s The Age:

Super fast? Really?

As an Aussie living in South Korea, I read with much amusement the Federal Government’s gloating about the proposed 100mbps speed of the national broadband roll-out, soon to be tested in four states.

Here in South Korea, 100mbps is considered slow. In 2012, the Korean Government will roll out its new US$24 billion, 1-gigabyte broadband. This will make Australia look like a jackass. I hope The Age will ask Kevin Rudd why he will spend $43 billion to roll out such a slow speed rather than trying for world’s best practice?

– John O’Kane, Gunsan City, South Korea

Internet access in Australia, especially outside capital cities, is too often slow, expensive and inefficient (broadband is not available everywhere) – we can only look at countries like South Korea enviously! Making things worse is the Internet filter the Government seems determined to introduce, which will slow down access and add to expenses even more. (Any Sth. Koreans who have moved here – there are quite a few – must be missing their speedy Internet!)

Sunday 7/3: Dinosaur extinction asteroid confirmed

A big thunderstorm passed through Melbourne yesterday afternoon after a humid day, causing much damage – though my suburb missed this, being on the edge of the storm. Melbourne’s streets were literally turned into rivers. More such weather is due this afternoon.

“Panel confirms dino crater link,” BBC News, 4/3. After much debate, various experts have decided that the culprit for making the dinosaurs extinct was an asteroid after all – the one that caused the crater at Chicxulub.

The review confirms that a unique layer of debris iridium ejected from a crater is compositionally linked to the Mexican crater and is also coincident with rocks associated at the Cretaceous-Tertiary (K-T) boundary.

The team also says that an abundance of shocked quartz in rock layers across the world at the K-T boundary lends further weight to conclusions that a massive meteorite impact happened at the time of the mass extinction. This form of the mineral occurs when rocks have been hit very quickly by a massive force. It is only found at nuclear explosion sites and at asteroid impact sites.

“Combining all available data from different science disciplines led us to conclude that a large asteroid impact 65 million years ago in modern day Mexico was the major cause of the mass extinctions,” said author Dr. Peter Schulte, assistant professor at the University of Erlangen in Germany.

There have been 5 major extinction events to date (the most extensive one was earlier than the K-T, the Permian–Triassic extinction event 251 million years ago which killed off most Earth life (the cause of this is unknown). I suspect the next major event will involve humanity (human-caused extinction of other life forms is already happening). If that eventuates, I wonder what will evolve to replace us. I doubt they would have the same type of intelligence as us, so they may not develop anything we recognize as technology or a civilization, and so no archaeologists to dig up our artifacts. In that case humans will just be another forgotten footnote in Earth’s long history.

The remake of the V miniseries about an alien takeover of Earth is screening tonight – something of interest to watch (i.e. sci-fi) at last! Unfortunately, if previous trends are followed, the commercial TV channel will move it to a late-night slot after a few episodes, then dump it altogether. TV is so pathetically dreary now (mostly “reality” shows or crime series). The only programs I like are documentaries or occasional movies.

Tuesday 23/3: Dentist visit OK

My dentist visit 2 weeks ago had no dramas; he scraped some of the crusty white stuff off my lower teeth (calculus?) but not all of it (to my annoyance). My lower gums still seem to be receding a bit, but I don’t know why (they seem healthy). I probably should see a periodontist, but can’t afford it.

My sister is now on Facebook, so I have friended her. I hardly ever make updates there at all, though; I already have 3 blogs and a website! Also I am just not doing anything interesting enough to post about. I have a Twitter account but have never updated it for the same reason.

Autumn Equinox was 2 days ago, so summer is officially over, thankfully; warm days are noticeably less intense. Seasons should be marked by these and solstices, rather than the months of the year.

Wednesday 31/3: Moscow Metro suicide bombings; climate change inertia; post-surgery depression

The Moscow Metro got its first-ever suicide bombings on Monday, something that seemed unfortunately inevitable. The suspects are Chechen/Islamic separatists, both women. There isn’t much countries can do to protect citizens against such terrorism, short of implementing measures that would make public transport travel as inconvenient as airline security is now.

“James Lovelock: Humans are too stupid to prevent climate change,” Guardian, 29/3. The 90-year-old scientist doubts that governments have the will to make serious changes, and that the population will continue its destructive lifestyle until circumstances force change upon them. He blames the democratic system:

One of the main obstructions to meaningful action is “modern democracy,” he added. “Even the best democracies agree that when a major war approaches, democracy must be put on hold for the time being. I have a feeling that climate change may be an issue as severe as a war. It may be necessary to put democracy on hold for a while.”

He does have a point; democracy is useless for getting anything done in a hurry. He said something similar in an article last year: voting counts for nothing because corporations and capitalism have more influence over governments.

Depression after surgery is apparently quite common (Google it); I happened to find out about this some months ago. I have been depressed for years before I had my two surgeries, though. I do notice I have been more inclined to explosive rages and I am more of a hypochondriac than ever (which may be evident in my journal entries of the last two years or so). I am still not fully recovered from my last surgery.

April

Sunday 4/4: Car noise annoyances; talking to aliens

The unnatural abomination that is Daylight Savings ended today – back to normal proper time! That extra hour’s sleep feels so much better.

A lot of people seem to have gone away for the Easter holidays, so the roads were so much quieter this morning. Like they used to be before the unwanted population growth now making Melbourne increasingly unliveable.

Yet another thing I really hate are cars fitted with loud sound systems – they are called “boom cars” in a Wikipedia entry (I don’t know what the Australian term for them is).

Extremely loud sound systems in automobiles may violate the noise ordinance of some municipalities. Some cities have even outlawed so called “boom cars,” vehicles containing loud stereo systems that emit low frequency sound, usually with an intense amount of bass. A number of organizations and websites are dedicated to lobbying for tougher restrictions on boom cars, citing that they disturb the peace and cause documented health problems.

They seem to be in plague proportions here – almost invariably driven by young males – and the Doppler effect of the low frequency doofdoofdoofDOOFDOOFDOOFdoofdoofdoofdoof as they drive past is extremely aggrevating. As well as irritating everyone in hearing range, for the driver such loud noise is a dangerous distraction, an incitement to aggression and will contribute to his hearing loss. (Another aggrevation is loud exhausts on cars and motorcycles.)

“Earth’s true colours in Nasa’s Blue Marble images,” BBC News (also at Earth Observatory). What the heading says: the most detailed true-color image of the entire Earth to date. The oceans are a striking ultramarine blue. From that height the Earth looks like an unspoilt paradise – a deceiving appearance, unfortunately.

“First contact: The man who’ll welcome aliens,” The Age/Guardian, 6/3. Scientist Paul Davies on what to say to aliens. He is horrified at the thought of their first contact with humans being the inane drivel that passes for most communications (i.e. the Internet – gossip and mating activities) and believes a potential message should be drafted by specialists.

This is why, Paul says, he very much hopes that our opening communication with the aliens will be drafted by him. “All the attempts to send messages up so far have been very crass,” he says. “If you’re going to leave it up to the mob to decide what’s important, it’ll be this really cool video game. Or some sporting event. Or some rock group.”

I do agree also with him in this paragraph:

Paul says he doesn’t trust people. But he does have great faith in aliens. His face lights up when he imagines them. My guess is that, since he’s spent so much of his life meeting people who aren’t as clever as him, the aliens are – intellect-wise – his last-chance saloon.

What I would send: “Please come and save us from ourselves!”

Sunday 18/4: Blood test results; disruptive volcano; joined Population Party

My journal entries are declining again … I haven’t been able to motivate myself to write, though I have had a lot of topics going through my head.

I had a blood test done recently and most things came out normal, though a certain type of cholesterol was a bit above the normal level (LDL Chol. at 3.2 – desirable range is <2.5) for some reason. The Vitamin B12 injections have brought my levels of that up to normal.

One little volcano erupting near a glacier in Iceland has managed to ground nearly all flights over Europe due to the ash cloud spreading over the continent for fear of ash getting into jet engines and damaging them. It also affects travelers in Australia wanting to return to that region. Not only tourists are affected, but also mail and food supply deliveries. It is a small forewarning of the havoc that would ensue if a supervolcano erupted (see 18/4/2005 entry).

Facebook post from my sister

My sister and her husband are on Facebook, so I friended them, though we have opposing views on some subjects (they are religious – her husband is an ordained pastor). It is therefore best not to bring up contentious topics at all in order to maintain civility (though she has made an oblique remark about a group I joined). I listed my religious views on my FB profile as “indifferent,” which I am – utterly weary of the religious debate. I rarely update my activities simply because I am not doing anything interesting. So far I have “collected” 51 friends (well, collecting is what it feels like!). Out of them, I only know 3 from real life (my sister, her husband, and a long-time family friend).

I really need to update my profile photo (it is from 2006!) but I look awful in more recent photos. I am not photogenic, and getting older (and a little heavier!) is not helping.

I joined the Stable Population Party of Australia out of sheer frustration, though I doubt they will get anyone elected, but I am utterly disillusioned with the two main political parties (Labour and Liberal) who are only encouraging growth. Overpopulation is ruining my suburb and many others, due to overcrowding and overdevelopment. The familiar modestly-sized homes and established gardens are being razed and replaced with huge ugly multi-storeyed houses and apartments. The other type of vandalism is graffiti and property damage from bored, ill-disciplined and drunk youths roaming around at night. This used to be a nice suburb to live, but it is deteriorating.

Tuesday 27/4: Avatar DVD released

Had some unseasonably warm weather last week (up to 30°C), which was unpleasant; summer seems to drag on for too long. Back to normal this week, thankfully (some rain).

The Avatar DVD is released in Australia this Thursday, so I will be buying it (not the Blu-Ray disc though as I don’t have a player). Most other countries got it last week, annoyingly!

I am not obsessed with the movie like some, but I still enjoyed it, and was fascinated by the world-building aspect. The sequel will apparently be set in the oceans of Pandora. I do not particularly like underwater ocean (or jungle) environments as I find them claustrophobic; I prefer open plains with a clear view of the sky (our remote ancestors evolved in that environment in Africa).

“Hawking warns over alien beings,” BBC News, 25/4 (also The Sunday Times, Bad Astronomy blog). Physicist Stephen Hawking caused something of a media furore with his statement that humans should avoid trying to actively contact aliens as the latter could turn out to be hostile. I would disagree with him on that issue, for reasons stated previously (12/2 entry).

May

Monday 10/5: Hate email

I received a hate email today:

From: "David ganley" <davidrganley@gmail.com>

You are an extremely sick, mentally disturbed individual. If you are so worried about overpopulation please volunteer for self extermination. You can make your own personal contribution to solving this “great” problem.

P.S. You are not intelligent. You are an educated idiot. The people don’t care what self appointed elitist scum like you think.

He was obviously reading my “Populate and Perish” blog and is a little upset :-). My usual reply now to the “Why don’t you just kill yourself?” line is, “Only if you go first!” The “elitist scum” is just … peculiar. As I am neither wealthy nor influential, I am hardly “elitist”. “Mentally disturbed” is probably accurate, though (but that in part comes from frustration, powerlessness and isolation).

Best reaction to that type of email is to just ignore it – “Don’t feed the troll” as the Internet saying goes. I am not in the habit of sending out hate mail; it makes one a target for derision.

Thursday 20/5: Borders order; upcoming Predator movie; disappearing neighborhood

I discovered that I can order a book online from Borders using a gift card bought instore, so I tried that today (I ordered The Art of Avatar). Online books there are somewhat cheaper and there is no postage fee or having to use a credit card. The only annoyance is that only one gift card can be used per order. If the order goes OK I will use this for some other books I want.

A new movie in the Predator genre, imaginatively (not!) called Predators, is coming out in July. I don’t know whether I will go see it, or just wait for the DVD. I do miss the Avatar anticipation of last year! There are no other movies this year that I feel excited about.

The destruction of my neighborhood continues – there are houses being demolished every week, including two more on the block where my parents’ home is, replaced by massive ugly houses. I feel depressed and frustrated, and wish the housing market would collapse so that greedy investors and developers would lose their money.

Saturday 29/5: Hard drive died; Voyage to the Planets documentary

My primary hard disk drive seems to have died today, the one which I had trouble with in February (6/2 entry) – A disk error occurred – Press Ctrl + Alt + Del to restart – after the bootup prompt. Couldn’t get into safe mode. Dad tried to use Windows 7 to repair the disk like last time (via a disk dock), but it did not work. So I had to install XP and all my programs on yet another disk, a procedure that is now tedious beyond belief!

A series called Voyage to the Planets is screening on ABC TV. This week’s episode on Saturn featured spectacular images from the Cassini-Huygens mission (though the clunky narration – “Pin-up boy of the Solar System!” – can be cringe-inducing). The manned space program might be somewhat moribund, but data from the various unmanned probes compensates for this. An evocative extract from Titan by Stephen Baxter:

And now the limb of Saturn, a thin crescent, reached into the window frame. Precise and huge and intimidating, it reared up before the sun. It was a yellow arc, obviously flattened from the circular, blistered with turbulence. The colors were subtle, and she found she had to shield her eyes from the glaring yellow and white and green of the orbiter’s instrument lights.

Saturn was no gaudy pyrotechnic display, but an autumn-color sculpture wrought of the soft light of the remote sun. It was, Benacerraf thought with a shiver, utterly unearthly. […]

Discovery was receding from Saturn now, skimming back, briefly, towards the sun, and the planet was once more turning its full face to the spacecraft. The cloud bands were sharply distinguished, though more subtle and yellowish than Jupiter’s. Along the fringe of one band at the equator Benacerraf could see turbulence, oval clouds like cells. The rings themselves cast a shadow, a thin, complex line, over the milky equator of Saturn’s daylit hemisphere. The shadow was curved, an exercise in projective geometry. And the rings had a lacy, tenuous appearance, so that she could see the curve of the bright limb of the planet through their structure.

There was nothing to compare to this experience.

This was not, she thought, even like travelling from Earth to Moon, from one closed-up sphere to another. They had journeyed for years, into the huge outer wastes of the Solar System, and entered orbit around this metahuman artifact, this structure of rings and spheres that could fill up the Earth-Moon system.

It is the dream of a million years, she thought, to be here and see this.

June

Thursday 17/6: Disturbing dream; book order arrived

I had a rather disturbing dream this morning, my last before waking up: a relative was descending a path down a high cliff that led to a beach. The path was narrow and perilous, and halfway down he slipped and fell off, and I watched helplessly from above as he plummeted to the ground far below and was killed. I ran to get help, and I dragged myself out of the dream at that point. It was quite realistic; I wonder what it meant?

My Art of Avatar book was delivered in good condition from Borders online. Much to my annoyance, though, prices have risen twice since then! They are currently having 20% off online books, so prices are temporarily the same as they were 3 weeks ago. So much for “cheaper”!

Sunday 20/6: Tooth cleaning again

I had my teeth cleaned again on Friday, much more thoroughly this time (using a sonic cleaner), and they feel much better. I don’t know how to stop the tartar/calculus buildup, though, despite diligent brushing and flossing. My gums are also still receding, and I don’t know why.

Saturday 26/6: First female Australian PM

So Australia has its first female Prime Minister, admittely not through ideal means (via an election) but by Labor Party backstabbing and intrigue – the way Kevin Rudd was ousted was rather mean, in my view, and only adds to my cynical view of politics. A formal Federal election is coming up later this year, so Julia Gillard will be formally installed if her party wins (her installment is referred to as a party leadership election). I like her well enough so far, but still will not vote for Labor first (and certainly not Liberal).

This letter from today’s The Age briefly explains the Westminister system (where a party is elected, not an individual as in the American system):

Lack of knowledge

THE one thing that has stood out for me as a result of Julia Gillard’s rise has been the general lack of knowledge of our electoral system. The only people who directly elected Kevin Rudd in 2007 were the residents of the electorate of Griffith. Members of other electorates may have voted Labor under the impression that Rudd would become prime minister, but the party room has the right to install any leader it sees fit. Any current Labor MP could be a legitimate leader.

Hopefully, the events of the past few days will see a watering-down of the presidential-style politics that characterised Rudd’s term as prime minister, and people will realise they should be able to hold their local member to account on local issues as well as national.

In the meantime, Gillard could do worse than ensure the Westminster system is given a decent amount of airtime in the new national curriculum.

– Stuart Fazakerley, Kew

PM Gillard is unmarried (though she is in a relationship) and childless by choice; this has already been seen as some as an issue, as in this letter (also from today’s Age):

I’ll cheer when a mother is PM

I CAN well imagine the conversations around the water cooler yesterday; certainly all the women on Facebook are thrilled that a woman has been elected prime minister. Childless women are incredulous that Julia Gillard has been elected despite being unmarried and childless. Those of us with children are perhaps less surprised.

I would consider it more of an achievement if she had children and been made prime minister, because a woman with children, to some extent, can never have the drive and single vision to compete with a man for such a position.

A man who is a “success” will have a supportive partner, who is caring for his children as only another parent can, while he climbs the ladder of success. How rare for a career woman to get that same level of support.

I’m not blaming men. Women such as Gillard are unlikely to choose a partner who is content to stay home with children, or work part time around school drop-off and pick-up. I accept that motherhood is not for everyone, but the day a mother is elected as prime minister is the day I will celebrate true equality.

– Hariklia Heristanidis, Malvern East

*Rolls eyes in exasperation*. Whether she has children or not should be irrelevant – how she performs in her job is of primary importance. If it were a childless man in the same position I wonder if such comments would be made.

This entry at the blog featured a book I had in the 1970s whose title I had forgotten: The Evolution and Ecology of the Dinosaurs. I read it quite a lot – the illustrations were good – and wish I had kept it, but it vanished like my other childhood books in a long-ago purging.

July

Saturday 17/7: Achy tooth; saw Predators in cinema

I have what feels suspiciously like toothache, in a lower left molar this time, so off to the dentist yet again next week. It is not for lack of cleaning, but I don’t know what more I can do. I wish I could have all 4 lower molars extracted and new ones regenerated if the technology were available; unfortunately this still seems to be years away. (Previous filling – 14/10/2008 entry)

I went to the cinema to see Predators on Tuesday. It was generally enjoyable (if you don’t mind copious gore), though a little too much like the original. I would have like to see more of the Predators, who are the main reason to see these movies; couldn’t care less about the humans!

Thursday 22/7: Head cold; tooth OK?; Mars-500

I have a head cold (caught from a family member!) so I am stuffy and miserable at the moment.

The dentist took an x-ray of my teeth but couldn’t find anything wrong – no decay, and thus no filling, thankfully – but stuck a patch on the side of the molar (my 3rd!) as there was a sensitve spot there.

I ended up ordering the Halo Encyclopedia after all (see 19/11/2009 entry) at Borders online with a gift card bought instore; it was discounted to nearly half (from the retail $83) so I couldn’t resist, and am awaiting its delivery.

The Mars-500 isolation experiment has been underway for nearly 2 months (from June). Rather daunting to consider that this time next year they will still be in there! I suspect they will be a bit irritable by then. They don’t have an Internet connection, which would be the worst aspect for me (aside from sharing a bathroom and toilet with 5 others!). There is also an online serial story, “Road to Mars,” being written, one chapter a week by different Russian sci-fi authors; unfortunately the English version is reliant on a computer translation (via the drop-down list) which comes out as gibberish in some parts. An example paragraph from the first chapter:

Yes, luck was on their side.A week ago Kartashov without hesitation I would give his right arm for a chance to be in the crew Serebryakov. I knew that it was impossible, but cherished the hope for a miracle.Suddenly Jacques sick at the last moment, got a virus, or bacilli, and then the big boss will no longer be up to politicians – to fly You’ve got to, like it or not, as an understudy for the day, you will not find. It looked and childish, and with purity of intentions here are not all right, but there’s nothing wrong with it, in fact, and did not want:Jacques – known ladies’ man, why does he need other worlds? Aelita he’s not exactly find!

I wish they’d paid a human translator!

August

Thursday 5/8: Computer woes

My computer started malfunctioning yet again (see 9/2 entry), so I am now using one Dad built, with Windows 7 installed. I generally like it (it seems more stable), though the File Permissions security feature is exasperating – there currently seems to be no fix for it to turn it off. Most of my programs are compatible, but my website editor has to be run in XP Compatability Mode. I initially thought the hard drives on my computer had failed, but Dad scanned them with his Windows 7 and they tested fine, so I have no idea what went wrong. The new computer has a snazzy black case with blue lights, so I have named it “Sauron” :-).

Sunday 15/8: 9/11 dream; deluded space dreamers

Had another September 11 dream last night, the first in a while (a previous one: 1/10/2006 entry). I was looking at the burning buildings from a distance, then frantically running down stairs inside them to escape.

Federal Election next Saturday. I am fed up with the campaigning as the politicians are making promises they will never keep. I will probably vote for the Greens.

“Space Cadets,” blog entry by Charles Stross, 2/8. He’s expressed exactly what I have been thinking for a while: namely, that space colonization is envisioned as a re-run of the settlement of the American West frontier by freedom-seeking pioneers (primarily by those of U.S. and other English-speaking cultures, mainly the UK and Canada). But the analogy is misleading; those settlers still were within Earth’s ecosystem and could live off it. Space is utterly hostile to humans, and there are no other habitable planets nearby. We are intimately adapted to Earth in any case. To try to colonize another planet would require a huge organized effort that would be at odds with the libertarian ideals esposed by space cadets. There are hundreds of comments in response so he obviously touched a nerve!

Tuesday 24/8: Trapped

My mind is eating itself. I saw that phrase not long ago on a forum, and it perfectly describes what has been happening to me for over a decade. I have no life and no future in this uncaring society, and feel trapped in a sort of limbo. I have no coping skills for the outside world and would fall to pieces if my current situation changed. I am not dissimilar to the shut-ins in Japan who isolate themselves from the world for years on end. I have almost nothing in common with other women my age (most of whom have established careers, families, etc.); I would be like an alien to them. I wish that lifespans were no so long, then I wouldn’t have to worry about coping for another 40 years or so (assuming I live to 80).

Tuesday 31/8: Andromeda horse toy

For years I have been trying to remember a toy I had when young (late 1970s); all I could recall is that it was a stylized black horse named “Andromeda”. I can only recall having the horse; I think I liked its name, color and design (it also belonged to one of the bad guys). Unfortunately it went the way of most of my other toys – discarded when I got older. Today it occurred to me to Google it, and I found it within about 5 seconds! It’s part of the Micronauts toys. So that is one small mystery solved.

September

Thursday 16/9: Anorexia documentary

There was a report on last week’s 60 Minutes, “Amy’s Story,” about an anorexic girl, aged 23. Watching her, I recognized myself when I had an eating disorder, though I was not as bad as her (certainly not as emaciated). My disorder began in 1988, aged 17, and ended in 1993; I did not menstruate for all this time (December 1988 to July 1993, nearly 5 years). Her eating disorder also began at 17, and she has the personality type that seems prone to this. It is like another personality comes in and takes you over, and though she is aware of her condition, as I was, she is unable to break free of its control. It is also very difficult for her family; she is sort of like a vortex that they get sucked into.

My own eating disorder started off as food restriction and lots of exercise, then changed to food bingeing and lots of exercise. Thankfully I never learned about taking laxatives or self-induced vomiting, otherwise I would have damaged my health a lot more. I put weight on, my eating and exercise gradually normalized and I eased out of it. Unfortunately it stalled my personal development; opportunities for starting a career were wasted and never regained. I think the disorder began both because of dieting and because of fear of adulthood and that I could not cope with independence.

I still feel a ghoulish fascination and a certain admiration for those who can starve themselves amidst plenty; it’s an extreme form of self-discipline – rather like how the Japanese Samurai killed themselves by self-disembowelment. I don’t think I would have the willpower to put myself through that again (I now have trouble keeping my weight down). When drawing, I like to draw bones, muscle and tendons – I don’t draw overweight people (or aliens :-)).

Thursday 30/9: Printing my digital photos; movie of interest; Gliese 581

Daylight Savings begins this Sunday to my great displeasure; it extends for nearly 6 months now no thanks to the present State Government. I will feel jetlagged and even more grumpier than usual, and cursing the fools who perpetuate this unnecessary and disruptive ritual.

I have been gradually printing out most of my digital photos (I was given a digital camera in 2005) – over 400 so far! I do them in a department store kiosk as they are only 15c per print and that is more efficient than trying to print on a home printer with its overpriced inks. The prints are supposed to last up to 200 years. I am wary of entrusting data to digital format – its durability is unproven – and still prefer hard copies.

An alien invasion movie, Skyline, is opening in December, in the USA at least – don’t know if it will be released in Australia. The vacuuming-people-into-the-sky scenes look a bit silly, but I may go to see it anyway as I enjoy alien invasions.

“Odds of Life on Newfound Earth-Size Planet ‘100 Percent’, Astronomer Says,” Space.com, 29/9. The red dwarf star Gliese 581 is 20 light years away – not that far in galactic terms – and it now has 6 detected planets. All are huddled in close orbits around the cooler red dwarf. There are 400 detected in nearby systems so far (since the first, 51 Pegasi b, in 1995), though most are gas giants or such, but the neighborhood is looking quite populated now! If only we could go out to look, and quickly – we really need a gravity drive (like in the Event Horizon movie). And to eventually photograph such a world through a space telescope (one more powerful than those in orbit now) would be the most awesome event in human history so far. I hope I around to see it!

November

Saturday 6/11: Disturbing dream; front fence vandalism; digital art wishes

An unsettling dream this morning: I shot myself in the head, but didn’t die instantly; instead I lay down, started gasping for breath and was frantically trying to think of some last thoughts as I felt myself fading out – then I awoke. I wonder if that is a memory of going under anesthesia.

Fence damage

The fence of my parents’ house was damaged yet again by idiots two weeks ago on early Friday morning, 22/10; this time a panel was kicked in. Dad managed to hammer most of the dents out. I thought they should have reported it to the police, but they didn’t feel it would do any good. Living here is becoming increasingly unpleasant but moving is not currently an option; there are much the same problems in all urban areas, and I would be reluctant to move as all my personal history is here. It feels like being under siege from two sides: graffiti vandals and developer vandals, the latter destroying my neighborhood with ugly property development.

I ordered a book from the Book Depository on 23/10 but it is been delayed (the first book, ordered for Mum, came in just over a week). According to someone on a forum the mail delivery company they use is experiencing delays for postage to Australia due to high demand.

Turian digital sketch

I would like to learn how to do digital art – I have a (basic, inexpensive) graphics tablet, but have no idea how to go about doing the really nice art I admire (see my DeviantArt account for examples of other artists I have favorited). It is very different from traditional art and my few attempts look horribly amateurish (see the wobbly Turian freehand sketch below), which is frustrating! Being impatient, I want to master new things instantly, so I eventually give up if I can’t. I don’t have Photoshop either (well, only an ancient copy of Elements 2.0), which is the program most artists seem to use.

Tuesday 16/11: My site online again; 40th birthday

My website seems to hopefully be back online; the outage was caused by AT&T deciding to remove my host’s Internet connection’s IP addresses and it’s taken them over a week to get things sorted out! I do have a portal page at WordPress so bookmark that also.

My 40th birthday last week was a non-event as usual. No one can give me the things I really want: to be 10 or 20 years younger, or to somehow time-travel back into my childhood with the knowledge I have now, so that I could relive my life without making the same mistakes.

I am still awaiting my Book Depository order (nearly 4 weeks); I emailed them and they offered to send a free replacement, so I have taken that option. Hope the second copy makes it here! I would not order from them again until after Christmas.

I decided not to see the Skyline movie in the cinema because it got almost universally scathing reviews. I’ll wait to download or for the DVD.

Thursday 17/11: Borders bookstore annoyances; space interest faded

My BD order finally came yesterday, so I hastily sent another email to cancel the replacement request.

I am increasingly annoyed at how Chadstone Borders bookstore is changing; their sci-fi section is much-reduced, and they seem to be stocking more crappy plastic gifts and fewer actual books. I suppose they are encouraging people to order online, but it is sometimes nice to be able to browse, though the books get very damaged. My one favorite shopping destination is bookstores, but these are becoming very limited in book selection and too expensive to buy.

I have printed out most of my digital photos – roughly 450 from 2005-2010! – but am also sorting out my older film print photos, of which there are hundreds more, and trying to digitize all these would take tedious months and be expensive, so I am not likely to. I don’t know what will happen to these (or my other possessions) when I die; some people’s end up being discarded with the garbage, which is a dismal prospect. This is the one disadvantage of not having children: no one to leave memorabilia to. But I have no desire to have any despite that.

My enthusiasm for the current space program has all but vanished. I still have some interest in it, but not the obsessive enthusiasm of a few years ago, when I began my first website, and I maintain this more out of duty than anything else (I do have thoughts of deleting it [but an email from my favorite cosmonaut might help things!]). The ISS recently celebrated 10 years in orbit, but the program is literally going around in circles and I just can’t get excited about it anymore. The manned space program is generally quite moribund, and the private sector has lots of nice plans and computer graphics, but little to show in reality. I have been more into sci-fi for the last three years; at least it goes places!

Monday 22/11: Familiar neighborhood vanishing

For the last year or two I have taken a camera with me sometimes on my walks around the neighbourhood to take photos of it, especially houses that are to be demolished. This is a depressing exercise as the generally pleasant older houses and established gardens are demolished, “moonscaped” (cleared of all vegetation) and some hideous multistoreyed monstrosity built to replace it. Google Maps and Street View are not up-to-date (last taken in 2005, I think) so that provides a form of time-travel, at least until it is updated again.

The destruction seems to be never-ending, with a house or two demolished every week. I have literally lived in the same place all my life, so I am very attached to it (however ordinary it may seem) and the unwelcome changes are a continuing source of stress and anguish. No one else seems to care, though. I wish for some catastrophic collapse of the housing industry to put a stop to all this building; I am sick of living in what seems to be a never-ending construction zone.

Thursday 25/11: Book order thoughts

Spent the last few days following the Pike River Mine disaster, but unlike the Chilean miners’ ordeal last month things turned out badly, though the bodies still have to be retrieved.

Had a few days of hot weather, but rain again today. There has been no shortage of rain this year, a nice contrast to the last few.

The book ordered that I previously mentioned was Defeated: Darkness Among the Stars by S.D. McKee. I had my eyes on this for a couple of years as the chapter excerpts on the website seemed intriguing, but as it is published by a small press it was never released in Australia, and I ended up ordering at the BD as it was only $16 there, as opposed to $35 or so at Borders! (I used a relative’s credit card – with their permission! – to order, but I can’t do that too often.) The novel was not badly written, though the author did, to quote one reviewer, “misuse words and abuse his thesaurus.” As it was published in 2005 and no sequel has appeared, it evidently was not a bestseller.

My main disappointment – and spoilers follow – was that the aliens who appeared in the web excerpts were in fact humans! He used the clichéd trope of humans evolving from higher beings who came to Earth (Ancient Astronauts). I find that a cop-out and an unnecessary elaboration as there is no evidence that humans evolved anywhere else but Earth, seeing as our DNA has a common ancestry with all other life here. The alien-humans also have psychic powers, another disliked trope of mine as there is no scientific evidence for these. The main human protagonist gets something of a makeover and is turned into one of the alien humans, gaining their superpowers and is also their Chosen One. (A plot point I found a little racially dubious was that the alien-humans were all white-skinned, and one of the dark-skinned human spaceship crew who also got a makeover had his skin and hair turned white.)

So the novel was a mildly entertaining read with some interesting ideas, but I don’t know if I would buy the sequel (if it ever appears).

Sunday 28/11: State elections; sore back

Voted in the Victorian State elections yesterday. Unfortunately the Liberals have a good chance of regaining power; I dislike them even more than Labor (who would be the lesser of two evils). I voted for the Greens again, though I don’t agree with all their policies. After enduring the previous Liberal government under Jeff Kennett’s harsh reforms and privatization (1992-1999), I have no desire to see them in power again – like Conservatives in other countries, they favor big business and cut social programs. Regrettably, voters seem to have short memories.

I was reading this article about “Complications of Surgical Mesh for Pelvic Organ Prolapse,” and noted that a lot of the women who posted comments had backache as one of their symptoms. My own back is still very sore – mainly when getting up after lying down – though I did not have the offending mesh put in (as far as I know!), so I wonder if it is a result of my first surgery (almost 2 years ago now). I was supposed to see the surgeon last July for a follow-up examination but have been putting this off.

Tuesday 30/11: Loathesome Liberals returned; The Killing Star thoughts

The Liberals (who, in Australia, are Conservatives despite their name) are back in power, much to my dismay. After Jeff Kennett’s reign I don’t like or trust them for the reasons given in my previous entry.

One novel I have wanted to read is The Killing Star, where aliens decide humanity is a potential threat and take out a pre-emptive strike on us by bombarding Earth with relativistic weapons. Traveling at near-light speed, the kinetic missiles release enough energy to destroy nearly all life on Earth (see extract at Atomic Rockets). The novel is out of print and I could not find it in second-hand bookstores, so I found and downloaded an audio version. I do not like audio books as it takes much longer to get through them, I can’t bookmark favorite sections, they are a very linear form of reading and my concentration tends to drift. It is as gloomy as Titan by Stephen Baxter (almost everyone dies!). There is some narrative meandering that involves some characters re-enacting the Titanic disaster, cloning dinosaurs and religious figures which I found irritatingly distracting. The novel is nonetheless worth reading for its interesting ideas and the absolute gloominess of its scenario. I do hope the paperback is reprinted.

December

Monday 6/12: Arsenic bacteria; exoplanets; touchscreen tech; women website stereotyping

NASA had a much-publicized announcement last week about bacteria that can utilize arsenic in its DNA rather than phosphorus, which potentially means that life can thrive in a wider variety of environments than previously thought, including on other worlds. The woman in charge of the project, Felisa Wolfe-Simon, is also impressively accomplished (and of course makes me feel inadequate).

The atmosphere of an alien world was also analyzed for the first time. It is 40 light-years away, but is not habitable. Over 500 alien planets have now been discovered to date.

I might go see the TRON: Legacy movie opening in 2 weeks; it certainly looks cool if nothing else! Update 13/1/2011: I didn’t, mainly because the more expensive 3D was the only version showing in the cinema I go to.

“Shifting the shape of touchscreens,” The Age, 1/12. A while ago I though of a concept for a softscreen device for a story I was doing; it would incorporate nanotechnology derived from how cephalopods such as squid and octopuses can change their skin color, texture and emit bioluminescent displays, and use similar methods for screen display. This recent article describes a similar concept, of “a light-induced shape-memory polymer that could be added to the display to create a hard, protruding form when one wavelength of ultraviolet light is transmitted, shifting to a soft surface in response to a different wavelength.” It would enable people to use touchscreens by feel – as they do with a normal keyboard – rather than have to look at the keyboard when typing, as is currently the case with devices such as the iPad. Another technology for my device involves having it made from a sheet of graphene (graphene is made up of a single layer of carbon atoms arranged in a hexagonal lattice), so it would be very thin, transparent and flexible, able to be rolled up. A device like this would make the iPad look primitive!

Eagle's Nest, Inverloch coast

“Walking with dinosaurs on Victoria’s Jurassic Coast a prehistoric paradise,” The Age, 4/12. Inverloch, where my family used to go for summer holidays (see 3/1 entry) seems to be a treasure trove for dinosaur fossils; something that we weren’t aware of back then! I know those Eagle’s Nest rocks very well.

One stereotype I despise on the Internet is how women are assumed to want to read websites about celebrity gossip, pregnancy and children, food and cooking, and other generally “soft” issues. Such websites are also predominately pink (I like pink, but it is only one of my favorite colors!) One random example is Jezebel – not a technology-oriented article to be found there! I also despise “chick flicks” – Sex and the City being a recent example – and the assumption that these are the type of movies that will appeal to all women. And that a movie must have romance in it to appeal to a female audience. Not this one! They bore me witless, and I cannot relate to the women in them at all.

There are quite a lot of women, though, who perpetuate this stereotype – one thing I find annoying about various fandoms is the obsession with pairing-off various characters in fan fiction and art (“shipping”). These creators seem to be predominately female. As an example, I visit/lurk at the Livejournal Mass Effect Community quite often, but a lot of the posts are about romances between various characters in the game. I am not averse to some romance, but the monomaniacal fixation on this aspect by some becomes tedious! (I am interested in worldbuilding and science elements.)

Sunday 19/12: Avatar blu-ray bought and thoughts

I bought the Avatar blu-ray (it was reduced in price for a while) and watched some of it, mainly the extras, on a relative’s player as I don’t have one. It looks awesome in full HD – the DVD image seems rather blurry in comparison – an incredibly clear and sharp picture, as good as it was in cinema despite not being 3D. Some of my favorite scenes are of the spaceship ISS Venture Star approaching the gas giant and its moons; incredible images, but all-too-short!

I find the worldbuilding behind the movie interesting; all the concept art and details. I would rather like to do something like that for a living!

Despite some of its faults, mainly some cringeworthy lines in the script, I do enjoy Avatar, and find a lot of the criticism directed at it rather petty. A biologist and author, Athena Andreadis, wrote a derisive essay about it last year (and posted links to it on every relevant blog she commented on; she seemed to have a “bee in her bonnet” about it). She seems to have an issue with tribal peoples being idealized (other entries: 1, 2) and regards tradition as bad, and while there is some of that, the movie did (intentionally) draw attention to the plight of real indigenous peoples on Earth. I don’t believe that women in many hunter-gatherer cultures were oppressed; men and women may have had separate roles for some things (men generally hunted, being bigger and stronger, while women gathered plant foods and looked after wherever they resided) but that is not necessarily bad. I do believe that such cultures should be left alone if they wish to be; to live their lives as they had for thousands of years.

The moping over Neytiri by many (mostly male) fans is somewhere between amusing and exasperating. There are threads with hundreds of posts and pictures about her at one forum (not surprisingly it ran out of bandwidth recently!). I found her character a bit irritating (some jealousy there!) as I don’t like the over-emoting style of acting. James Cameron certainly achieved his stated intentions in an infamous Playboy interview.

PLAYBOY: So Saldana’s character was specifically designed to appeal to guys’ ids?

CAMERON: And they won’t be able to control themselves. They will have actual lust for a character that consists of pixels of ones and zeros. You’re never going to meet her, and if you did, she’s 10 feet tall and would snap your spine. The point is, 99.9 percent of people aren’t going to meet any of the movie actresses they fall in love with, so it doesn’t matter if it’s Neytiri or Michelle Pfeiffer.

One of the Voyager spacecraft, Voyager 1, has reached a point where the solar wind’s outward motion has stopped. Its radio signal takes 16 hrs 07 mins 24 secs to reach Earth, and has taken 33 years so far to get to that point! In around 4 years it will cross the heliosheath into interstellar space. Voyager 2 is a little further behind.

Friday 24/12: Christmas woes

Christmas tomorrow, which I am not particularly looking forward to as we (me and parents) see no other relatives as they are all dispersed (or don’t want to see us). Christmas Day has shrunk drastically since I was young; I expect one day I will be alone for it. I find the TV supermarket ads featuring hordes of happy families especially irksome.

I am awaiting 3 separate book deliveries, two from Borders. One Borders parcel arrived today. There will only be two delivery days next week as the postal service has three extra public holidays, annoyingly! Retail workers in contrast only get Xmas day off, and that rather grudgingly.

The summer solstice happened on Tuesday, along with a rare coinciding lunar eclipse, which was not visible here due to cloud cover, annoyingly! It was only partial here, anyway.

Thursday 30/12: E-book exasperations

I just bought my first e-book – and, if I can help it, that will be my last paid-for one! For that, the exasperating Digital Rights Management can be blamed.

Buying it from Borders was easy enough (used a gift card to pay online as I had my physical books). But to actually download and read the book I had to install Adobe Digital Editions, which I really didn’t want to have to do. It tried to register, but would not connect to the server, coming up with some obscure error (E_ADEPT_IO ActivationServiceInfo Error%20#2032). Some Googling turned up a lot of people with the same problem – the official site is of no help. I tried disabling my firewall; didn’t work. Someone mentioned uninstalling ADE, opening Internet Explorer and installing through that browser (rather than Firefox). Oddly enough, that worked. I then had to create an account with Adobe. After more cursing and fussing around (the whole process probably took around 30 minutes) I finally managed to download my book. Only I am dependent upon having the registered ADE program to read it (I can’t use a normal PDF reader). Printing and copying are restricted, so the book isn’t really mine. There seems to be no way of removing the DRM (a trial program was not successful).

It’s not surprising that people pirate ebooks! I am never buying another DRMed book; the only reason I bought this one (An Introduction to Planetary Defense) was because the hardback was ridiculously expensive (nearly $100! And over $30 for a thin book even at Amazon and Book Depository – not worth paying that much) and I couldn’t find the text online.

My two Borders books arrived by post; I am still awaiting the third (probably not today, so next week at the earliest).

Christmas Day was a dull non-event as usual.

Friday 31/12: 40°C today

Today’s temperature is to reach 40°C for the first time this summer; it’s been a cool and wet summer otherwise, however.

Mitigating yesterday’s frustrations, I found a method online to remove the DRM from my ebook, so I now actually own it and can read it as a normal PDF. Much more satisfactory!