Suzy McHale’s Diary: 2011
June
Friday 3/6
Little of interest in my life, aside from persistent health issues.
My probably-cracked tooth has been aching again for the last few days, which it does periodically, though it is rather strong this time. Don’t know whether to go to the dentist or not – might be a false alarm, or something detectable (and expensive) this time. If the aching persists I suppose I will have to drag myself back there. I also had aching in my lower left jaw and molars in February, for which I rushed off to the dentist, but she couldn’t detect anything, so it was probably my jaw joint playing up (the 3rd time that’s happened).
My rectal prolapse repair seems to be still holding up – I was supposed to go back to the specialist last year for a follow-up exam, but kept putting it off and have yet to return – I am sick of being poked up my rear end! I still feel rather odd and not back to normal (don’t think I can be), and am a little leaky after BMs. I can tolerate that as long as the prolapse doesn’t return (fingers crossed).
My lower back is still chronically sore, especially when arising after lying down – I can barely bend forward for a few minutes after getting out of bed in the morning. I had another episode of acute soreness on 22 March for unknown reasons, which took about 2 weeks to return to the now-normal lower-grade soreness. I wonder if it is related to the first prolapse surgery (laproscopic through the abdomen) as that is when the soreness began.
For my last period – 10 May – I had the most awful cramping and abdominal pains from the previous evening onward, which I have never experienced before (I usually get some mild cramps, if any). I though I had appendicitis or something, it was that bad. It was worse when lying down. I felt nauseous and lost my appetite for a few days. I was back to normal by the weekend. I don’t know what the cause was, and will see what happens when my periods come again, which will be in the next few days.
Mentally – much the same, severely depressed and apathetic. I feel trapped and hopeless, my inertia is strong and impossible to overcome. The thought of trying to get employed is daunting – who would hire me, a 40-year-old with no skills and a nearly-10-year-gap in her unimpressive work history? There are so many more people now and competition is fierce. I wish I could just wither away and die. I have no energy or motivation, and feel like a non-person with no identity.
This summer was very unpleasant, in contrast to previous ones – hot and humid with above-average rainfall. The drought of many years seems to have broken (reservoirs currently averaging 54.6%) and there was flooding in many parts of the continent, along the south-east coastline (Queensland, NSW, Victoria). We had a particularly bad day on Saturday 5 February with constant heavy rain and the toilet backing up! A rare occurrence fortunately (Dad pumped it clear), but I wish we had a 2nd toilet (along with an extra bedroom or two).
The deciduous street tree outside #95 next door was cut down by the council on 31 January, unfortunately; it was old. A tree like the one outside our house was planted there by the Council last week (Lophostemon confertus, Queensland Brushbox).
Bentleigh and the surrounding suburbs continue to be demolished and destroyed by greedy developers, with houses knocked down every week, gardens and trees razed, and ugly monstrosities built to replace them. This is a continuing source of stress and anguish.
Sandy is now living with Michele and Christ in Queensland; her cancer condition is terminal or no longer treatable, so she is essentially waiting to die; an awful fate at her age (a little younger than me).
Michele came home here for a quick visit (Wednesday 4 May – Saturday 7 May), mainly to see the King Tutankhamun exhibition currently showing in Melbourne (and only there), and for Mother’s Day. The tickets are rather pricy ($30 adult). I was going to go but the tickets for the time I wanted (to coincide with Michele going) sold out an hour or so after she emailed me about it! Annoying, so I gave it a miss. She also went to the City with Mum on that Friday to go out for lunch. Michele is rather overweight – I am not thin, but she is quite a few more kilos than me. Bad genetic inheritance there! (Also too many full-cream milk coffees and rich snacks, as she keeps posting photos of on her Facebook page.) She will get Type 2 diabetes like Mum has if she isn’t careful.
- Chris’s Facebook address: http://facebook.com/revcar
- Michele’s: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000782271643
October
Friday 7/10
Events since my last entry:
- The dentist, a new one at the Southland clinic, a woman, could not find anything wrong with the aching tooth (she took a detailed x-ray) when I went on 15/6.
- I have not got that mysterious abdominal pain again so far.
- Small earthquake felt at home on Tuesday 5 July – 11:32 a.m., 4.4, epicenter in Korumburra.
- All Australian Borders bookstores closed in July, including the one in Chadstone, my main reason for going there in a weekly ritual for years (since 2001 or so). Angus & Robertson stores also closed (see this February The Age article, “Borders, Angus & Robertson go bust”) as did Reader’s Feast in the CBD, owned by the same incompetent group. This meant a lot fewer bookstores; there are currently none in Chadstone, not including a crappy remaindered bookshop.
- Australian Census night on Tuesday 9 August – I filled it in for myself and my parents on the Government Census website.
- Got an awful boil for some reason behind my right ear in late August; went to the GP on 29/8 who gave me a strong antibiotic that cleared it up. (Yuck!)
- Had a bad cold and persistent cough from Saturday 10/9 which lasted for around 2 weeks.
- The 10th anniversary of the New York Twin Tower terrorist attacks passed and was marked around the world with various ceremonies.
- Michele and family drove to Bright in northern Victoria from The Gap, Queensland, for a holiday, leaving on Sunday 18 September after midday and arriving at Bright around 10 hours later. They stayed over a week, Michele driving to Melbourne on Saturday 24 (though she didn’t contact my parents about this). Their car’s radiator broke on 27/9, but they were able to get it repaired, and left for home on Friday, staying overnight this time in Forbes. She has not lost any weight!
- Last Wednesday 28/10 there were violent thunderstorms over Melbourne, passing over Bentleigh, with some deafning cracks of thunder and lightning overhead. One just before 4 p.m. sent a surge though the power at home (luckily I had my computer off, though we have a surge protector installed in the power box). The power was low for a while, then went off completely from 9:40 p.m. to 5:10 a.m. There were workmen and 4 or 5 trucks replacing a powerpole on the corner of Tucker Road and Hutchinson Street north of us, so perhaps the pole was struck by lightning. It was the longest our power has been off that I can recall.
On 26/10 I will mark 10 years since I left Safeway (now Woolworths) and I have not had employment since then. I was reading this recent The Age article, “Sex workers get help to give up their night jobs,” which noted that women trying to get out of the industry can have large gaps in their resumes that they can’t explain without giving details of their previous life, which still has a stigma attached to it. I also have such a gap, though in my case it’s 10 years of hiding in my bedroom due to what could probably be described as mental illness.